Haana struggled her way through the cosmological text on religions; it was totally not studyable. All the author kept droning on about was the balance between order and chaos. As if that mattered in anyway, shape or form? Things just happened at random; she’d seen that happen lots of times. Briefly the thought that the laws of physics were changing from time to time but it didn’t seem unlikely in the sense of that being possible. Closing the book she looked at her page of notes, three words – this is boring. She sighed and stood up. Her room was back to her familiar state of untidiness, clothes strewn over the floor like a hurricane had put them there and every available flat space was taken up with books and almost finished homework. Fishing into a pile of jumpers Haana pulled out a comfy black short sleeved number and pulled it on over the lacy black wonder bra with the cute ribbons on it. She added faded jeans to the ensemble and completed it with one of the Doctors old waistcoats. Being back with the Doctor again was kind of fun, all the thrills from visiting new worlds, meeting new people and not being responsible for someone else. She did like Penny, they had made a crazy team for a while but she knew it wouldn’t last. The Doctor liked Penny too which was a plus, the fact that Penny could get them all a staff discount from M&S was even better. She was about to go and find the others when a strange woman walked through the wall into her room.
“Please say that you can hear me?” The woman asked.
“Yeah, I can hear you.” Haana liked the woman, although her white flares, platform shoes and blouse made for a very monochrome look. Even her hair and eyebrows were white.
“At last, I was really beginning to worry. Your name is Haana right? It’s so cool to meet you.”
Haana smiled and shook the woman’s hand. “Who are you?” She asked in return.
“Oh yes, almost forgot to introduce myself. I am the White Guardian. I think your friend the Doctor might have mentioned me?” The White Guardian tried to comb the tangles out of her hair.


The lights in the console room dimmed just as the Doctor finished inputting the destination coordinates. The whole column freezed up and refused to work no matter how many times she kicked it or hit it, breaking a nail painfully in the process. “Ow, it hurts.” The Doctor cradled her poor injured figure and went in search of a press-on to cover it up.


Jean-Marc was giving Penny a guided tour of the TARDIS, although they seemed to find themselves back in the Library every fifth door or so. “I am sure the ship is playing a game with us.” Jean-Marc laughed. “The swimming pool should be around here somewhere.”
“If only I had a swimming costume.” Penny joked as they walked into a massive room filled with clothes from every time period from every planet’s history, including a few that had never existed. “Wow, that’s a lot of clothes” she exclaimed, holding an 18th centaury against herself and looking in a mirror.
Jean-Marc threw Penny a one-piece swimming costume before picking up some Speedos for himself. “There are separate changing rooms I believe.”


“Ah there you are.” The Black Guardian looked at his assembled group of followers. “I have good news for you all. That dim-witted fool the Doctor has unknowingly taken our eternal nemesis into her home. I want you to find the Doctor and destroy everyone inside that ridiculous machine of hers.” He basked in their applause. “Go now and don’t fail me otherwise I guarantee a slow death in the most inventive of ways imaginable.”


“So you’re the person who prevents the Universe from descending into chaos?” Haana laughed as she watched the woman struggle to comb her own hair. “I take it we’re all doomed or something?”
“Yes, that’s it!” The White Guardian exclaimed with a big smile. “The Black Guardian’s power is too strong and he has the key to time.”
“Is that bad?” Haana asked, fearing the worst.
“Bad? It’s dreadful. Chaos will consume the Universe and a lot of people will die. When I say a lot I mean more than even you can conceive Time Lady.” The Guardian looked around Haana’s room and shook her head. “Looks like he’s been here already. Can’t you do me a favour and tidy this place up a little?”
Haana set about picking up her clothes, folding them up and stuffing them into her wardrobe. “Can’t you help?” She asked. “Perhaps if you got involved with people a little then you wouldn’t be in this dilemma?”
The Guardian picked a skirt up. “I like this, can I borrow it sometime?” She folded it into four and handed it to Haana.
“Yeah, maybe.” Haana agreed as she got to work tidying up her textbooks. “I still don’t see how me tidying my room up will help you.”
Flicking through one of Haana’s books the Guardian started to laugh. “This is all wrong, I can’t believe Rassilon got it all wrong and he seemed like such a nice thoughtful man too. Mind you I always thought Omega was a little shifty and, oh what was her name, the other one; she seemed very peculiar indeed.”


The Doctor found two of her companions in the swimming pool and considered joining them but opted to enjoy a nice mug of tea first. She sat by the edge of the pool and watched them trying not to impress each other. Where was Haana? She had been studying but Haana and study was like oil and matches, she started off in a burst of learning frenzy before moving onto something new. She finished her tea and was about to look for her question marked swimming costume when Haana walked into the room followed by another woman. “Hello Haana, I see you’ve made another new friend.”
“Hello Doctor.” The White Guardian waved hello with a big grin on her face. “Do you like the new look? You usually associate me as a boring man with a dead bird on my head. White robes?”
“She’s the White Guardian.” Haana explained. “She’s going to hide out here for a few centuries.”
“You seem to think of my home as some sort of galactic taxi service young lady.” The Doctor stated coldly to Haana.
“What did you want me to do Doctor? Turn her away and let the Black Guardian destroy her? He’s got the key to time for Rassilon’s sake. Unless we help her then the Universe and everyone we try to help will become extinct very fast.”
“It’s ok Haana.” The White Guardian patted her on the shoulder. “I’ll go somewhere else. I don’t wish to intrude or take advantage of anyone.”
The Doctor frowned. “You’d rather just turn your back on everyone and cower in here for a while?”
“It’s all gone, the powers I once wielded were infinite. Now I can’t even brush my own hair properly.” The White Guardian turned to leave. “I thought the Universe would last longer than this somehow, we’ve both put a lot of work into it Doctor.”
“Ok, ok you can stay for a while.” The Doctor agreed, “just don’t drink all the tea ok?” She left the room to find her one-piece and enjoy a good swim.
“I think Haana found a new playmate.” Jean-Marc whispered to Penny.
“Yeah, she tried it on with me for long enough. I wonder what her name is?” Quickly Penny splashed water up into Jean-Marc’s face and swam out of range.


“Life is cruel and spiteful.” The Black Guardian exclaimed with hateful malevolence. “Soon I’ll rule all of existence and bad times will be had by all.” He took off his shoes and handed them to one of his servants. Another one brought him his pipe and slippers. “I will miss these quiet nights in, plotting to bring chaos and despair to all.” He looked around. “Where’s the slimy one at? Abyss, show yourself now or I’ll turn you into a human.”
“I am always at your side my lord.” Abyss stepped into the Black Guardian’s view. “Doing your will always makes me feel dirty and degraded.” He wondered what the boss wanted now.
“I have a little task for you Abyss, something I need you to collect for me.” The Black Guardian sneered archly for a few seconds.


Haana lent some of her clothes to the Guardian as her ability to manifest clothes started to fade. The Guardian seemed to like the hippy chick look so she found some old flares and a sexy halter-top. “We should dye your hair too, maybe go for a black look with some green highlights? Claire used to love her hair like that.” She gasped suddenly when the Guardian’s features contorted and twisted into a very familiar face. “Claire!” She dropped the box of jewellery onto her foot and yelled in pain.

“This face was very prominent in your mind, I hope it pleases you that I wear it for you.”
Haana cursed in old High Gallifreyan, then Thal, followed by Silurian and finally human. “You have no right at all to just take on Claire’s face. Change it back now.”
“I can’t.” All my powers are gone. “I’m an ephemeral being now. What was that name you used? Claire? It sounds reasonable enough, why don’t you call me that?”
“Because Claire was the woman I loved you stupid bitch!” Haana screamed in rage at the spitting image of Claire. “I loved her more than anything and you dare to abuse her memory like this?”
“I’m sorry. If I could change back I would, truthfully. I sensed your love for this person and thought I was doing you a kindness.” The White Guardian, now called Claire, hung her head. “We should tell the Doctor so that she can shout at me too.”


The Doctor looked up from the malfunctioning console. “Oh hi Claire” she said before nearly having a seizure in her left heart. “Claire?” The Doctor’s knees almost gave way due to the shock.
Haana helped the Doctor too her feet, the damp material of her swimming costume catching on her bare arms. “It’s not Claire Doctor. Our friend decided that looking like Claire would be a good idea and now she’s lost all her powers and can’t do anything.”
“Is this true?” The Doctor gasped.
“I said I was sorry to Haana. I thought I was doing her a kindness.”


Jean-Marc and Penny reeled in shock when a loud shout of obscenities poured into the room.
“Wow.” Penny exclaimed. “I haven’t heard some of those since leaving school.”
“I haven’t heard many of those before.” Jean-Marc admitted to Penny.


“I said I was sorry Doctor.” Claire stated. “I suggest we find a way to get my powers back so that we can save the Universe and then I can change my appearance once again.” She looked around the console room. “At least I still have all my knowledge intact.” She pressed several buttons on the console and it rebooted itself. “Do you think its wise using Windows 98 to operate a Time Machine Doctor?”
“It’s better than Windows 95 in the long term.” The Doctor sulked. “It’s just not as stable that’s all. I can still remember when Romana made me upgrade from Windows 3.0 all those years ago.”
“What about her using Claire’s face and body?” Haana protested to the Doctor.
“What about it? I see you’ve been making sure everything was as you remembered it.”
Haana took her arm from around Claire’s waist. “Sorry, force of habit.”
Penny had changed back into her regular clothes and slipped the swimming cozzy into the washing machine. The TARDIS seemed in many ways to be a marvel but for every advanced device she came across there was something else from the 1800’s. She brushed her hair back and put it into a ponytail using a large elasticated band before heading back to her room to listen to one of Haana’s K D Lang CD’s.


The Black Guardian looked at the squat plastic cube as it sat in the palm of his right hand. “All I have to do is give the command and millions of people will suffer in agony for all eternity.” With a casual thought he plagued the Earth with Britney Spears.


The TARDIS materialised with a shaky thump. The Doctor’s concern faded and was replaced with appreciation. “Well at least we’ve arrived somewhere. Who wants tea?” A roundel folded down to reveal a small teapot and six cups and saucers. A second roundel opened up and a small tray slid out, a sugar bowl and a milk jug rested on top of it. “Shall I be mother?”
“Two lumps, no sugar please Doctor.” Haana joked, her concentration was distracted by the fake Claire’s bottom; it was a perfect copy right down to the way it wiggled as she walked.
Jean-Marc bounded into the console room. “Strange, I was headed towards the kitchen. Well I found you all. Who’s she?” He looked at Claire.
“Ah, this is the White Guardian. She is or was the keeper of law and order in the Universe. Now she looks like Haana’s former fiancée Claire.” The Doctor handed her youngest companion a cuppa. “Tea?”
Jean-Marc took the cup. Perhaps drinking the tea would give the last few sentences some sort of sense and meaning.
Penny walked into the console room. “This is not my room unless I took a wrong turning back there.”
“Come in Penny.” The Doctor handed the confused flame haired girl a hot cuppa. “This will help you relax.”
Penny took the tea and knocked it back. “Another, it’s still chaotic to me.”
Claire gasped. “Of course. Can’t you see? Chaos is taking over; soon nothing will make sense any more. Actions will have different consequences or even none at all. The Universe will fall apart and I can’t stop it.” She started to panic and babble until Haana kissed her suddenly.
“There’s only two ways to deal with hysterical women.” She exclaimed. “You didn’t expect me to slap her did you?”
“You can slap me Haana.” Penny remarked casually.
The Doctor held her hand up too. “Sounds good to me. Now why don’t we go and explore? It seems the traditional thing to do now that we’ve arrived somewhere unknown.”


The Black Guardian laughed deeply. “Oh this is excellent, the black silk collar is perfect don’t you think?”
Daphne, a pub cleaner turned evil minion, smiled with glee. “You look so regal and yet all powerful my lord.”
“Well one had to dress for the occasion, dear Koschei told me that once you know. Such a delightful boy he was back then you know. That was before I had him executed by the Daleks when my little scheme to corrupt my incorruptible opponent failed.” He looked at the malevolent temptress and sighed. “It was after then that I came up with my plan to have Abyss steal the Key to Time. I hope he comes back soon, there’s so little left time left before the Apocalypse.”
Daphne laughed along with her master. “Is there anything else you need my lord? Something unholy you need taking care of?”
“Oh just stay with me a while Daphne and sing to me. I’m in a Celine Dion mood tonight.” The Black Guardian sat back on his throne and sighed.


The Doctor bounded out of the TARDIS and eagerly surveyed the local landscape of trees, stones, Pargon storm troopers, a small river, and a rabbit like creature. Pargon storm troopers? Projected energy beams shot to her left and right as she ran back inside the TARDIS. “It’s a trap,” she explained to the others. “Lots of Pargons out there with huge weapons.” She realised she had said a double entendre and tried to cover it up. “Big guns too.” No, that just made it infinitely worse.
“Really?” Penny asked. “Shouldn’t we defeat them? That’s what Haana said we do.”
“Good old Haana.” The Doctor grimaced. “Perhaps you should explain the part about running away when faced with lots of angry people with guns hmmm?”
“Penny has a point Doctor.” Jean-Marc commented. “We’ve faced terrible danger together before and survived.”
The Doctor looked shocked at Jean-Marc. “I’m not going out there again, these people can almost shoot straight. What we need is a distraction, something to divert their attention.”
Haana looked around the console room and saw Claire exiting the TARDIS. “No.” She screamed before the double doors closed. Jean-Marc held her back and she was unable to follow the White Guardian outside.


“It’s me you want.” Claire stated. “I no longer have the responsibilities or power that I once had so you can relax and take me to him. I know he will want to gloat before he kills me.”


“What’s happening Doctor?” Haana shouted. “Put the screen on please.”
“I don’t think you should see this Haana.” The Doctor tried to calm Haana down.
“Penny, that bank of controls by your right hand blue, red, blue.” Haana watched as Penny turned the wall-sized screen was filled with static for a second before the events outside appeared on them. She saw Claire surrounded by the snake-like Pargons, dressed in their black combat armour. Suddenly they glowed red and vanished. A face filled the screen, a face that projected cruelty and pain. It was the Black Guardian.
“Ah Doctor and your little pets. How are you? It’s been too long. Now as you can see I have my arch foe.” He pulled the figure of Claire, in reality the White Guardian, into view. “Now what shall I do? I know I’ll kill her. Now fast or slow? What do you think Doctor?”
Haana turned away and cried onto Jean-Marc’s shoulder.
“I think you talk to much Black Guardian.” The Doctor glared at him. “You don’t have the courage to go through with it.”
“Very well Doctor, as a favour to you and your weepy pet I’ll make it quick.” Energy burst from his fingertips and the White Guardian was reduced to ashes in an instant. “There, that wasn’t difficult now was it? I think I’m going to enjoy your death even more Doctor.”
“How are you?” Jean-Marc asked Haana?
“I’m going to make him pay Jean-Marc. Somehow I’m going to make him pay for it.” Haana wiped the tears away from her eyes. “If you want me I’ll be in the library.”
The Doctor started to go after her companion, to be there for her but Penny and Jean-Marc stopped her.


Haana poured her way through the cosmological texts on religions with a fury. She absorbed everything each volume contained. Every thought, every insight and every opinion was sifted through and memorised. One purpose filled her being; she had to rid the Universe of His evil.