It was a cold afternoon, at least it could be afternoon.  It was impossible to tell when you were inside an artificial environment on the dark side of the moon.  Alison wasn’t sure why they had ended up here instead of on a mysterious sounding holiday world called the Eye of Orion, something to do with “Time Lord interference”, as the Doctor, predictable as always hadn’t explained properly, but here she was and it wasn’t that bad.  Well it was sort of nice.  It was like one of those expensive so-called-theme restaurants, where the décor isn’t quite right but everyone is too polite to mention it.  The place was run by a strange race of beings, tall lizard people from Mars…

Alison glanced at a display of dresses in a shop window, they looked pretty but they were cut for one of the alien women, impossibly thin waists and flat chests.  “Where are we going?”  Alison gave her full attention to the Doctor as he finally decided to talk to her.

 “Over there.”  The Doctor pointed towards the tall governor’s building.  “It pays to know the man who knows the woman who runs the place.”

Alison looked from building to Doctor to building again.  “So you do know who’s in charge of this place?”

The Doctor smiled, briefly.  “I know who’s in charge of every place.”

Alison restrained herself from pulling a face at the Doctor’s witty brand of cryptic banter.  “You can be so annoying at times.”  Her sarcasm was cut off when the TARDIS mobile telephone in her pocket bleeped twice.  “It’s a text message from you know who.  He says that you’re annoying all the time.”  Alison texted a smiley face back to the Master, as she knew it really annoyed him.

 “It’s one of my special skills, comes in handy.  Now shall we get on?”  The Doctor asked.  “It’s a formality of the Martian people to pay your respects to the commander of any facility you visit.  They can be quite fussy at times but they mean well.”

 “Who’d have thought I’d be meeting a Martian?  Especially after you said the planet was abandoned.”

 “It is, sort of.  There are a few Ice Warriors left on Mars, in suspended animation.  There wasn’t enough room for everyone on the colony ships.  However Nova Martia is slowly repatriating them and they are becoming a splendid addition to the cosmos once again.  The Galactic Federation considers Earth and Mars as two of its finest members.”

 “So we’re in the future then?”

 “As far as you’re concerned, yes.  After a while though it all begins to make sense.  Just don’t upset anyone, we’re the first aliens they’ve seen in quite a while.”

 “Oh, is that why they’re looking at me?”

 “Just smile and nod politely.  Many of them haven’t seen an alien before.  They’re just curious.  Don’t make any sudden movements with your arms, you don’t want to offend anyone.”

They walked into the large building and Alison was stunned by the beauty of the décor.  “Wow, this is so gothic, the blue marble with the streaks of gold is amazing!”

“Imperialium, it’s a common Ignatius rock found at the northern slope of Olympus Mons.  I find the Areium from the southern flank to be far more splendid, although it can get a trifle too ostentatious if over used.”

“You know your geology.”  Ixcia of the House of Kharar bowed in the human fashion to the two aliens.  “I am Colonel Ixcia, the governor of this small facility.”

“We are honoured by your welcome.”  The Doctor replied and returned the bow.  He looked at Alison.  “Bow to her.”

Alison bowed.  “This place is so amazing.  It’s very pretty.”

“We are honoured by your words.”  Ixcia said to the dark female.  “Please forgive any intrusion, we seldom have visitors and never aliens.  Your species seems to favour the sun lit portion of your satellite.  “We are allowed this portion because we prefer the coolness of space to the solar heat and its Red Death.”

“Of course.”  The Doctor nodded, ignoring the generalisations of their host.  “We are travellers, rather lost I’m afraid but all the more appreciative for the beauty with which this place enriches our souls.”

The phone bleeped again and Alison blushed when she saw what the Master thought of the Doctor’s eloquence.  “Erm, it’s a wrong number.” 

She quickly put the phone away and looked back at Ixcia.  “So what’s the best place for a girl to do some shopping around here?”

“Shopping?  Oh yes, the retail sector.  We have little  need of luxury, but such items are available there.  Now if you excuse me, I have duties to attend to.”

“Yes of course.”  The Doctor bowed.  “We are thankful for your time.  Bow before she does Alison.”

Alison bowed again and then they left.  “That was weird.”

“They have a highly ordered society.  Their culture revolves around many rituals and traditions, which I think we should observe.  We don’t want to offend anyone now, do we?”

“I suppose not.”  Alison agreed.  “So why don’t we buy the Master something and be on our way?”  The phone bleeped again.  “He can just talk to me, I won’t shout at him if he doesn’t annoy me again.”  Alison muttered as she read the new text.  “He reminds you that we’re almost out of tea.  There’s been a dreadful storm in the plantation, the entire harvest has been wiped out.”

“I knew I should have installed a second one.”  The Doctor sighed and looked around.  “It’s too late in the season to start again, I’ll have to buy some teabags and make do.”

The Master rolled his eyes at the sight of his two dearest friends making fools of themselves yet again.  He switched the screen off in the end, walked over to his favourite dark brown leather armchair and sat down.  He drummed his fingertips on the chair arm as he contemplated his situation.  “Sometimes I think he does it to annoy me.”  He picked up his cup of tea and slowly sipped it.  “However I shall rise above it, yes, no matter how much he tries to annoy I shall not let it get to me.”  His drink finished he returned his full attention to the Doctor, after all it always paid well to keep an eye on him at all times.  “Now lets see what trouble you’ve gotten yourself into without me.”  He sighed and zoomed the screen in on his dear friends.

Ixcia looked up from her electronic notepad and gasped in surprise as a dark shadow swept across her face and then there was a burst of brilliant red light.  It was the last thing she ever saw.

The agent holstered the gun and relaxed its whole body.  Gradually,  it began to mutate, shedding it’s thorny blue skin for the soft green scales of the Martian Governor.  Ten seconds later the transmogrification process was completed.  To all intents and purposes she was Ixcia now.  She smiled and began to undress both herself and the body.  Just one quick change of clothes and the illusion would be complete.  Then she could destroy the body and the first stage of the plan would be concluded.

Carefully she poured the vial of blue liquid on the body.  She used just enough acid to consume the body's flesh and bones but not enough to ruin the carpet.  After all why ruin the carpet in her brand new office?  What a way to start her first day as the Governor.

The fake Ixcia smiled as she picked up the electronic notepad.  “Two alien visitors?  This might be the opportunity I need.”  She activated the communicator.  “There are two aliens at large, I want them arrested quickly and efficiently.”  With any luck they would send out the majority of their security forces and her own forces would be able to act that little bit quicker.

“Where are we?”  The Doctor looked left and right.  “I think we’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere.”

“Oh well, maybe we should just go back to the TARDIS?”

The Doctor looked to the right.  “This way.”  He began to stride forward with purpose.  “One way is as good as another.”

“What if we go the wrong way?”

“Unlikely, the place is much smaller than the TARDIS, and there are only so many roads a Time Lord can walk down before finding the right one.”

“The TARDIS? Oh.  Maybe we should ask someone?”  Alison looked about.  “There’s someone over there, we can ask him.”

“We’re quite fine as it is.”  The Doctor replied.

“What is it with you and asking for help?”

“Somewhere in the universe, it’s Friday the Thirteenth, and I’d say I’m giving enough of my help as it is. Come along Alison, I think this is a short cut.”

Alison ran after the Doctor to keep up with him.  “Are you sure you know where we’re going? ? It looks to me like we’re going completely the wrong way!”

“Of course I am, now walk fast we’re making time.”

“Time for what?”

“Time for tea of course.  There’s always time for tea…”  The Doctor paused outside of the store.  “Ah ha.  Thought so.”

“We’re here?”  Alison asked, hoping for the best.”

“No, we’re lost.  Why don’t you ask for directions?”

“I suggested that before.”

“Did you?  Well as it’s your idea why don’t you do the asking?”

“Sometimes I think you do this on purpose.”

The Doctor frowned and then smiled.  “I do everything on purpose, for the most part.  The Martian we saw just now was one of the general infantry.  They are very useful for fighting, not quite so hot on the helping.  What we need is one of the merchant elite, go on, they hardly ever bite.”

Alison looked at the Doctor, wondering if he actually knew what he was talking about or if he was just making it all up as he went.  “Oh all right.”  She pushed the shop door open and walked inside.

The Master shook his head.  “This is getting tedious now.”  He tapped a few buttons on the console and a small holographic image appeared in front of his face.  It showed the Earth’s moon and the stealthy approach of a fleet in an invasion formation.  “That’s not good.  No, that’s not good at all.  Oh my dears this is most definitely not good.  I should warn him, but I simply must have another cup of that tea.  After all it’s the only joy I get out of all of this.” 

The Doctor was considering the recital of a famous passage by the Dane when Alison finally emerged from the shop.  “You took your time.  No, mustn’t complain now.  You did get the right directions, didn’t you?”

Alison handed her notes over to the Doctor, along with the map.  “Is that enough?”

The Doctor nodded.  “It’ll do.”  Then he set off again.  “Why don’t you tell the Master than we won’t be too much longer now?”

“I’m not your secretary.”  Alison replied.

“No, but you do have nice handwriting.  Are you sure you’re not part Venusian?  They had such wonderful penmanship.  I studied for a decade under the careful tutelage of a Venusian Penmaster and I still consider myself an amateur.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere Doctor.”

“Neither will the inability to take a compliment.  Now we turn left here.”  They turned left and walked right into a phalanx of Ice Warriors.  “I say, we’re completely innocent whatever the charge is.”

Alison pulled the Doctor out of the tall, chunky, soldiers’ way.  “I don’t think they’re after us.”

“Are you sure?  They have their sonic cannons.  They never carry them like that in their own strongholds, unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Unless they’re after something.”  The Doctor paused for a second.  “Alison, what if they’re after us?”

“They seem quite nice to me.”

“I’ve known the Martians a long time.  They can be very aggressive at times, completely over the top in their responses.”

“I don’t think we’re in any danger.”  Alison tried to reassure the Doctor.

“Probably not, but I wonder.”

“The Master would have told us if something was up.”  Alison smiled, and then the telephone began to ring.  She answered it.  “It’s the Master, it’s for you.”  She handed the phone over.  “He says it’s important.”

“Hello.”  The Doctor said into the phone.

The Master spoke to the Doctor.  “I’ve been watching your predicament.  Return to the TARDIS at once.  I’ll explain later.”

Alison decided to go for a walk, but she had only gone ten yards when she spotted another group of the tall green aliens, coming towards her with their guns pointed at her.  “Ixcia?”

“There is one of the intruders.”  Ixcia pointed at the female human.  “Arrest her.”

Alison turned and ran as the aliens fired warning shots over her head.  “DOCTOR!!!”  She screamed at the top of her voice.

“We can get tea elsewhere.  Return here at once, I do worry about you sometimes.  How you ever defeated me so many times I’ll never know.  Hello?  Are you still there?”  Then the console room was plunged into darkness as all power was drained from the systems, except his own temporally protected power supply.  “Well he can’t say I didn’t warn him.”  He looked at the console and connected himself to it.  “This might just work, if I can just get the imaging scanner online.”

“Hmmm?  What was that?”  The Doctor let the phone fall to his side as he looked up and saw Alison running towards him.  Then one by one every light all around him went out.  Every power source stopped working.  The low hum of the colony’s life system stopped and all was silent.  He looked deeply into her eyes.  “What did you do?”

“Nothing.”  Alison replied quickly.  “They just started shooting at me.  Hey why did all the lights go out?”

“Well I’d better sort this out now, before it gets serious.”  The Doctor stood in the middle of the street, hands on hips and his jaw set in a serious manner.

The fake Ixcia smiled.  “There is the other one.  Arrest them both.”   She was glad her scheme was going so well.  “No, kill them.”  She raised her own gun at the human female’s head.  Life was a bitch and so was she.  “Any last words?”

“Now look here.”  The Doctor began to protest, but he was cut off when energy blasts came from behind where he was standing and struck the Ice Warrior commandos.  They were killed and not instantly.  It was a horrible pain-filled death of burning agony and he could do nothing about it.  Well almost nothing as Ixcia was still alive.

The fake Ixcia knelt, she was dying.  A hole was punched right through her chest by one of the energy beams.  Then she looked up to see it was two of her own kind who had betrayed her, she was aghast as they aimed their weapons at her head.  “No, I’m one of you.  I’m a spy.”  She resumed her true visage.

“You’re one of them?”  Alison was shocked and she turned away as the two other creatures opened fire at their wounded comrade.  Then she turned back, to have a go at them.  Their visage put her off however, they seemed to have purple skin but it was covered in sharp thorny spikes so it was impossible to get a good look at their faces and she really wouldn’t like to slap one of them.  “Who are you?”

The Doctor put one of his arms over Alison’s shoulders.  “I don’t think they’re friends of Ixcia, or whatever her real name was.  I rather suspect that they were using her to put the Ice Warrior commandos out of harms way while they invaded.  The sudden energy drain is very suspicious indeed.  The Master tried to warn me but he should have been more specific.”

One of the figures, Vaal-deez turned off the changeling net disguise he was wearing, in a shimmering burst of energy, to reveal his true identity.  “You are both prisoners of the Exilons, resist us and you shall die.”

Ksaark looked in awe at the image of the long dead General Braak.  “Is this visitation real or am I fatigued by insanity?”

The image looked at the Ice Warrior.  “Of course I am real.”

Ksaark bowed in respect.  “I am sorry I doubted you General Braak.”

“There is a stranger among us… a most annoying but necessary creature called the Doctor.  You must look after him; he has a most irritating assistant whom you must also take care of.”  The image faded.

“I will do as you command General.”  Ksaark could hardly believe the honour.  A visitation by a past leader was a very rare event.  Obviously he was meant for greatness and thus had to be tested.  “I will kill them both myself.”  He walked away with purpose.

The image appeared again.  “No, wait, oh my.”  The image of the Ice Warrior lord flickered into that of the Master.  “This could get very awkward indeed.”

Vaal-deez turned off the changeling net disguise he was wearing, in a shimmering burst of energy, to reveal his true identity.  “You are both prisoners of the Exilons, resist us and you shall die.”

The Doctor resisted the urge to react.  “I should have known.  The energy drain and the treachery.  If only you knew what will happen to your people in the future, but why spoil the surprise?”

Alison nudged the Doctor in the ribs.  “He’s got a gun pointed at us, at me to be precise.”

“So?  I’ve had lots of guns pointed at me.  I’m not very impressed by these at all.”

Alison crossed her arms, tapped her foot on the ground and looked at the Doctor from the corner of her eyes.  “That’s because they’re not pointed at you.  Now please be quiet in case he tries to shoot me.”

The Doctor shrugged and said nothing, until someone else started opening fire at him.  “It’s not open season on Time Lords is it?”  The telephone rang as the Doctor and Alison ran for cover around the corner of a building.  The Doctor took the phone straight off of his companion before she could answer it.  “I thought it might be you.  Late as usual.”  The Doctor listened to the Master.  “Yes, well next time you might be a little less cryptic.  What?  Charming.”  The Doctor put the phone away in one of the volumous inner pockets of his coat.

“What did he want?”  Alison asked as she hid behind the Doctor for extra safety.

“Spot of bother with the rescue attempt.  That Martian who’s trying to kill us is supposed to be saving our lives.”  The Doctor risked a casual look around the corner.  “Maybe he’s gone home?”  He got his head back behind cover just in time as a salvo of energy blasts struck where his head had been a few moments ago.

The Master strolled around to the other side of the console.  “Why do I bother?  Do I ever get any thanks?  It’s not like I want his thanks and appreciation.”  Seconds later the control column began to rise and fall.

Ksaark took aim at the other two aliens and opened fire at them, as commanded to by the illustrious General Braak.  He felt a surge of pride run through his veins as the two aliens were hit, but sadly unaffected by the limited power of his gun.  They faded away, obviously a transporter beam, and Ksaark looked around once more for the brown and pink coloured aliens.

Alison felt a strange tingling as if a sudden wind was brushing against her skin, then the TARDIS was next to her and the front doors opened, sending her sprawling back into sight of the mystery mad man with the gun, one of them anyway.

The Doctor was about to help when the image of General Ixlyr appeared next to him.  “I must have a word with you about acceptable uses of the TARDIS.”

 “I’m just fixing my mistake.”  The Master said with his real voice.  “I may not be able to leave the TARDIS but you have to agree that this does allow me to help you.”

The Doctor was considering an acerbic response when the holographic image moved away.

“A Martian?”

“I thought we killed them all.”

“Obviously someone didn’t do their job very well.”

“Well we’ll find them all and make them pay for their treachery.”

Alison glared at the Master.  “You did that on purpose.”

The Master shook his head.  “My dear Alison, I did nothing of the kind.  I came to your rescue.  It’s not my fault if you reacted the way you did.  Perhaps you’d like me to let you simply ask for my help first?”

The Doctor sat with his feet up on the coffee table.  “Why would the Exilons attack a Martian base located on the far side of Earth’s moon?  It doesn’t make sense.”

“I was beginning to wonder when the absurdity of the situation would be noticed by you.”  The Master raised an eyebrow.  “They’re not who they seem to be.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”  The Doctor stood up.  “We saw them with our own eyes.”

“Did you?”  The Master asked.

“Did we?”  Alison asked.  “The first time we saw them they were disguised as other aliens, with the thorny skin.”

“Yes, that was puzzling.”

“Oh good gracious.”  The Master rolled his eyes.  “These invaders arrive here in a fleet of spaceships, none similar to the other and appear in disguise.  Isn’t it obvious?”

“Of course.”  The Doctor turned to Alison.  “Don’t you see Alison?  These creatures don’t want to be known.  They’re taking careful pains to hide their real identity.”

“So they could be anyone?”  Alison had never seen the Doctor quite like this before.  Usually he was firm and decisive, if a little gloomy.  The Doctor was the kind of person who liked to know what they were doing, uncertainty was his weakness.  How could he stop an enemy if he didn’t know who he was fighting?  For that matter she wasn’t too happy about it either.  Maybe they could pop forward in time or something?

The Doctor nodded.  “Yes, and how can you defeat an enemy if you don’t know anything about them?”

“It’s a puzzler, isn’t it?”  The Master smiled.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a friend to rescue.”

Alison looked at the Doctor.  “I thought you said he was Billy No-mates.”

“I rather suspect the Master is referring to his latest scheme.  I really must rewire that holographic emitter.  I shouldn’t really have it, but there are a lot of things I’ve been finding out about the old girl recently.  Some things are best left alone, for now.”  The Doctor activated the door control and headed back outside.

“You can’t go back out there.”  Alison said to the Doctor.

Ksaark bowed as the vision of the glorious General Braak appeared once more.  “My liege.”

“You shot at the ones I wished rescued.”

“My liege?”

“The humans, they are important, more than we should ever hope one of them ever could be, but it is vital to the survival of our people that you aid them, aid me, aid us.”

“I do not understand.”

“I know, but you will.”

“I live to serve.”  Ksaark saluted.

The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS.  “Can’t isn’t a word I recognize.”

“So you have dyslexia, let’s talk about it in the TARDIS.”

“Come along Alison.  There’s work to do.”

Alison looked at the Doctor, he was much worse than usual.  “We’re going to get killed.”

“Embrace your fear, but don’t let it control you.”  The Doctor kept walking.

Alison hurried after the Doctor.  “You can move fast when you want to.”

The Doctor recited one of his more favourite lines written by an old, dear friend.  “In the most high and palmy state of Rome, a little ere the mightiest Julius fell.  The graves stood tenantless, and the sheeted dead.  Did squeak and gibber in the Roman streets.”

“What?”  Alison wondered what the Doctor was wittering on about.

“Alas the cultureless youth doth speak.”

“Are you feeling ok Doctor?”

“Never better.”  The Doctor pointed down the street.  “Would you prefer something a little more rousing?  I’ll give you my Richard the Second if you like.”

“Do you know any Eminem?”

The Doctor ignored his petulant companion’s remarks and persevered with his quotation.  “This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle.  This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,  This other Eden, demi-paradise,  This fortress built by Nature for herself.  Against infection and the hand of war.  This happy breed of men, this little world,  This precious stone set in the silver sea,  Which serves it in the office of a wall.  Or as a moat defensive to a house.  Against the envy of less happier lands.  This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.”  The Doctor finished with a sweeping gesture of the arms, raising them up into the air and bringing them crashing down to his sides.”

“I think I like you more when you’re sulking.”

“I never sulk.”  The Doctor sulked.

“Of course not.”  Alison smiled.  “Now can we avoid making targets of ourselves to every gun toting crazy person?”

“Actually.”  The Doctor remarked.  “That was the whole idea.”  He froze and figures moved in the shadows.  “Don’t make any sudden movements.  We’re being watched.”

“It’s like I’m on the Weakest Link again.”  Alison had a flash back.  “I was voted off in the first round, it was terrible.”

“Alison from Lannet in Lancashire, you are the weakest link, goodbye.”

“Are you feeling ok?”  The Doctor clicked his fingers in front of Alison’s face.  “Maybe it’s some sort of space hypno-ray?”

Alison snapped out of it.  “I’m fine.  I was just reliving it, again.  Joe never said anything after, not even to cheer me up.”  She put all thoughts of her former boyfriend out of her mind.  “So what do we do now?”

The Doctor tried to cheer his young friend up.  “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

“I guess.”  Alison looked across at the advancing figures.  “So we allow them to capture us, while you trick them into telling you your plan?”

“That’s my usual MO, yes.”

“Oh my god, I just thought up the world’s worst plan and it’s the one you use all the time?  We’re dead.  They’re actually going to kill us.  Well kill me.  You’re ok, you can come back, what was it you called it?  Reclamation?”

“Something like that.  I can assure you that I do not have a death wish.  We’ll be fine, just let me do all the talking.”

Alison took a step back.  “That’s how we get into trouble.  I think I’ll just go and have a long talk with the Master, about the pot plants he’s growing in the art museum room.  He’s got some nice cacti; maybe he’ll let me take care of one of them.”

Ksaark aimed his sonic cannon at the three alien invaders.  “Kill my kind?  Slay my people?  Destroy my kin?”  He opened fire and within seconds all that remained were three puddles of boiling organic sludge.  “Revenge is best served roasted and steeped in boiling blood.”

“But is it enough?”  The vision of General Braak asked.  “Revenge is poor sustenance for the soul.  Have your vengeance, but be quick about it and be done with it, lest it taint you.  If you corrupt the purity of your mission then what purpose is served with your selection?”

“They will pay.”  Ksaark had made a dozen vows, each in the name of someone dear to him.

“Everyone pays for their mistakes.”

“They will learn the error of their mistake.”  Ksaark would have his kilogram of flesh.

“What errors will you learn from?”

“Inaction is worse than action.”  Ksaark would not hesitate to kill, hesitation could and did get you killed.

“Are you sure?”

Ksaark opened fire on another group of invaders.  “I am that sure.”  He didn’t even bother to look at their cooling remains.

“Do not move.”  The Menoptera disguised alien hissed.

Alison stood still as the aliens approached.  “When do we escape?”

The Doctor shrugged.  “That’s the one variable that makes this plan so fresh and interesting each time.”

“Come with us.”

Alison protested as her hands were tied behind her back and she was shoved in the back by some jobsworth alien with a gun.  “I’m going, don’t get your…whatever…in a twist.”

“They seem to be impersonating the Menoptera.”

“We ARE the Menoptera, of Vortis.”

“I see, well jolly good.”  The Doctor smiled.  “I expect you’ll be taking us to some sort of crater filled with needle like rocks.”

“Be silent prisoner, or we will feed you to the Zarbi.”

“Oh, of course.”  The Doctor winked at Alison.  “The Zarbi.”

“What’s a Zarbi?”  Alison asked on cue.”

“I’ll explain later.”  The Doctor replied.

“I see.”  Alison nodded, nudged the guard next to her and ran off while the Doctor pretended to stumble and fall.  She thought it was a real pity that the aliens did a disturbingly good impression of the LA police force arresting Rodney King.

Ksaark watched as the dark female ran towards him.  “She runs from battle.  Does she not stand and fight with her kin?”

“She’s doing as she’s told.  Now I must go.  Help the female, her name is Alison.  I shall not appear to you again until things are going well, or you need my guidance.”

Ksaark jumped out of cover, grabbed the female and dragged her back into cover.  “Be silent.  If you alert them I will silence you myself.”

“Gerrof me!”  Alison tried to scream but the creature pointed a gun at her and shot her at point blank range.  She fell backwards but she didn’t feel the pain of the impact as she hit the floor.  In fact she didn’t feel anything at all.  She briefly wondered if she was dead, until the tall Martian guy picked her up, put her over his shoulder and carried her off.

The Doctor stood in his cell and quoted the bard to the wall.  “I have of late—but wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.  What a piece of work is a man!  How noble in reason!  How infinite in faculty!  In form and moving how express and admirable!  In action how like an angel!  In apprehension how like a god!  The beauty of the world!  The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor woman neither.”  He sighed and banged on the door.  “Doesn’t anyone appreciate the Dane?  I rewrote most of it for him you know, and what thanks did I get?”

Londer-Pree was not the sort of person you messed around; ask anyone, they’d all tell you that.  Of course finding anyone alive who had messed him about was a different matter all together.  They had a habit of turning up a few days later face down in a river with a hole right through them.  Not that he was violent, but people needed to be dealt with firmly and there was no clearer message than a blast of energy through the chest.  Some of them didn’t die so quickly and Londer-Pree had a few minutes to talk with them, get to know them and generally learn all they knew.  Not that they had much choice in the matter as he could just suck the knowledge out of their heads.  Some might consider it gross but that was only because they didn’t see the usefulness of it.  Once you got rid of all the lies that left only the purity of truth, the magnificent beauty of the soul exposed and ripe for eating.  Now he had a new target, an alien.  Maybe they would just talk, maybe they would be frank and civil with each other, or maybe the alien would be a challenge.  Whatever happened Londer-Pree was going to get the answers he wanted from this Doctor.

Talitha-Yang watched the alien on the security camera.  He was really good looking for someone from another planet.  “What a babe,”  She really fancied him for some reason.  Maybe it was the way he had soft pink skin and only two eyes, or the fact that he only had two arms and two legs, but for some reason she was more attracted to him than to any of the guys she’d met so far in her life.

“Keep a close eye on the prisoner.”  Captain Jee said to the junior officer.  “If he tries to escape alert the guards.”

“I’ll keep all my eyes on him.”  The Venusian female sighed and wondered where her dream guy had been all her life.

Alison looked at Ksaark.  “We’ve got to rescue the Doctor.”

“We shall storm their fortress and exchange our lives for many of theirs.”

“We’re not the A-Team.  We need a plan, a plan that involves sneaking and me not dying.”

“Do you not wish to die for your male?”

“No man is worth dying for, ok maybe Denzil Washington is, but he’s not here and he’s not my boyfriend.”  Alison paused while she willed her face to stop blushing at the thought of being under Denzil, or even on top of him or maybe…no she had to focus.  “I know just the sneaky son of a bitch who can help us.”

The Doctor got bored with the shadow theatre he was performing to keep his spirits up.  “Perhaps a drop of Mrs Miggins’ Gentleman’s Restorative?”  He pulled the bottle out of his pocket and splashed the contents on his hands and then rubbed it onto his face.  “No, I don’t feel any benefit.”  He knocked the bottle over onto the floor, where it started to eat through the metal much to his surprise.  “I don’t think I paid nearly enough for that.”

Talitha-Yang was secretly glad when the alien escaped.  She imagined meeting him and hiding him in her room as the others searched for him.  She would offer him some refreshment and he’d thank her.  Then they would talk and find out that they had so much in common and then they’d kiss.  The sort of kiss that made your legs tremble and then they’d…

“Sound the alarm.”  Captain Jee commanded.

“Yes sir.”  Talitha-Yang reluctantly activated the alarm, but only in the nearby area.  After all if he found himself in another part of the base where her bedroom was located then they could…

“Keep alert, that’s a very dangerous alien.”

“Yes sir.”  Dangerous?  She liked the sound of that.  “Maybe they’d run away together, get married and…

“Contact Londer-Pree, let him know that we’ll have his guest back in time for their appointment.”

She hated Londer-Pree, he was arrogant and stupid and she didn’t see what all the other girls saw in him.  Sure he was good at his job but how could you date someone who tortured others as a hobby as well as a job?  Ok there had been that one date, but the things he expected her to do, no nothing was worth that again.  “I’ve sent him a message.”  She’d like to send him more than a message.  Something involving fish hooks and a large shrimp fork was more like it.

The Master feigned a look of surprise when Alison showed up with Ksaark.  “Ah, I see you’re meeting new people.  It’s so good to widen your social circle, don’t you agree?”

“He saved my life.”

“A worthwhile pursuit.  Now where is the Doctor?”

“They got him.”  Alison replied.  “Death or Glory here was all set to storm the place and get himself killed.  I told him that we needed a better plan than that.”

The Master smiled.  “You thought of me?  I’m touched.  No, really, I am.”  He stood up.  “Now how may I help my dearest friend escape from the clutches of some deadly alien captors?”

“Does he always talk like this?”  Ksaark asked Alison.

“This is a good day.  On a bad day he can make himself dizzy with circular logic.”

“Now, now.  Let’s not insult the person who’s going to save the day.”  The Master handed Alison a small earpiece.  “Put this in your ear and I can contact you with information as needed.”

“What else does it do?”

“Nothing much, I believe it picks up the BBC World Service from time to time.”  The Master picked up the handset that went with the ear piece.  “Testing.”  He looked at Alison.  “Well put it in your ear my dear.”

The Doctor looked left and right before crossing the huge space ship hanger.  He really didn’t want to get run over or worse, fatally run over, or worse, have his clothes splashed by a vehicle and a puddle of oily water.  “Splink.”  He muttered to himself as he skittered to the safety of the far side.  “There’s never a corridor about when you want one.”

Londer-Pree turned the communications device off.  “This one will be interesting.  He’s stronger than I imagined, it will be a joy to break one like this.”  He really did enjoy his work.  The torture and humiliation was routine but it was his artistic touch that really got results.  He didn’t just break them, he destroyed their wills, crushed them utterly until they were nothing then he could reshape them into his creatures.  Loyal and obedient slaves, they weren’t good for much but they worked until they died and they never disobeyed.  The best part of it though was seeing that moment in their eyes, that moment just before they broke.  When they realized just what would happen to them.  Seeing that second of utter defeat in their eyes was what made the job eminently worth his while.

Talitha-Yang had rushed back to her room to make herself look pretty for the casual meeting she had planned for hours in her head.  She had a bottle of wheat wine in the refrigeration unit and her lucky dress never failed her.  She’d never been with an alien before, but maybe this would be an encounter she’d never forget.  Right on cue she opened the door to her room and pulled him inside to safety and seduction.

“What’s going on?”  The Doctor flustered as his coat was flung up over his head.

“Don’t worry.”  Talitha-Yang coo-ed softly.  “I’ll take such good care of you.”  She helped the strange and beautiful biped untangle himself from his clothing.  “You have such beautiful eyes, I’ve never seen anyone with blue eyes before.”

“I assure you it’s quite common on Earth.  That’s the planet on the other side of this boring moon.  That’s quite a fun planet but it does tend to tire one quite quickly.  Tell me are you really a Venusian?”

“Of course I am.”  Talitha-Yang replied sharply.  “I’m sorry, it’s just that people don’t understand the beauty of this form.  They say it’s impractical but it’s perfect for my job when you really do need to work on five things at once.”

“I’ve been to Venus before.”  The Doctor replied.  “Several times in fact.  It was a favourite place of mine, for a while.”

“Did I get the legs right?”  Talitha-Yang asked.  “I’ve never been too sure of them.”

“They’re fine.”  The Doctor looked around.  “Won’t you get into trouble for harbouring an escaped prisoner?”

“Who cares about that?  I only care about right now, about us.”  She kissed the alien.

The Doctor touched his stomach.  “You might want to try a bit further up, not that I’m encouraging you.”  He backed away as she advanced towards him.  “I’m really not looking for anything serious.”

“Just hold me.”  Talitha-Yang put two legs around the Doctor and kissed his mouth.  It was everything she imagined it to be and much more besides.

“Turn left here.”  The Master gave precise details to Alison.  “I’ve hacked into the computer’s blue prints.  You should reach the detention area at your current rate in about ten minutes.”

Londer-Pree drove the iron spike into the Fendhaleen’s brain.  “I told you to tell me what you did with the alien.”  It was no use of course, the creature was obviously too stupid to know what was going on or it didn’t know what was going on.  He decided to show it some mercy, giving it a painless death.  Then he moved on to Dhalmut-Suun, his rival and lover.

“I think we’re lost.”  Alison said to Ksaark.  “It’s a dead end.”

“There is a hatch above us.”  Ksaark forced it open with ease.

The Doctor extracted himself from the arms of the amorous Venusian.  “I can assure you that I am not that sort of Time Lord.”  The Doctor made a dash for the door.  “I’m sorry.”

“Men!”  Talitha-Yang cried out, venting her pain.  “They’re all the same.  Well no one rejects me.”  She stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes.  “I’ll make him love me, even if I have to kill him.”  She took out her recipe book for boiled bunny rabbit.  “He will love me, yes, he will love me.”

Dhalmut-Suun liked pain, it was what attracted him to Londer-Pree so much.  However being attached to the wall by a nail gun was going a little too far.  “Miss me?”

“I’ll ask the questions.”  Londer-Pree replied coldly.  “Where is the alien?”

“What alien?”

“You know better than that.”  Londer-Pree picked up the blunt wooden club.  “I think we’ll try a little of this and then we’ll try removing one of your limbs with some barbed wire.”

 “Oooh, make it hurt.”  Dhalmut-Suun laughed as his lover began to beat him with the baton.  “Hurt me sweetie, yes, that feels good.  Break me baby, you know I’m yours forever.”

Alison looked around the latest corridor for any sign of the Doctor.  “This is getting us nowhere and I think I’m picking up the World Service on this thing.”  She tried to pull the earpiece out but it refused to budge.

“We should apprehend one of the invaders, I will make it talk.”  Ksaark had a lot of pent up anger that he wished to share with the aliens who had slaughtered his people.

“We’re getting nowhere.”  Alison felt funny.  Her head was fuzzy and her vision was blurry.

Ksaark looked at the human.  She looked frail.  “Are you damaged?”

“No.”  The Master replied.  “Nothing could be further from the truth.”  He, or rather she, was now in complete control of Alison’s body, the earpiece had burrowed into the head and it had overridden her brain.  For now Alison was no more, she was the Master, which ever way you looked at it, it was a splendid turn of events.  “This way my dear.  I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”  The Master could feel Alison screaming silently locked away in her own mind.

Londer-Pree looked at the two halves of his lover’s body.  It hadn’t been easy to cut in half down the middle while he was still alive but it was done now.  Dhalmut-Suun hadn’t talked of course.  Maybe he really didn’t know anything?  Maybe he took what he knew to his grave?  Either way there were no more answers here.  Carefully he laid the two halves together and they quickly bonded together again.  “I’ll see you tonight, sugar.”  He kissed his lover gently, before leaving.

Now that the fuss seemed to have died down the Doctor moved more openly.  He kept to the quieter corridors of course, exploring everything that looked interesting.  Of course this meant that he didn’t get very far and inevitably the strange Venusian girl caught up with him.  Only this time she didn’t seem so pleased to see him.

“I’ll never let you go.”  Talitha-Yang screamed as she charged at the alien, a large knife held in one of her feet.  She stabbed him in the shoulder with it as hard as she could, figuring that it was the logical place for aliens to keep their weird alien brains.

“Ow.”  The Doctor yelled in agony.  “Stop doing that.”

The Master spotted the Doctor, being attacked by a Venusian.  Quickly she removed the TCE she had slipped in the human’s clothing while she wasn’t looking, took aim at it and fired, killing it quickly.

“Alison?”  The Doctor gasped.  “What are you doing here?”

The Master smiled.  “Oh my dear Doctor, you are so naïve.  This is just her body, does it suit me?  I like the skin but I think the clothes just don’t suit me and they don’t go with these shoes anyway.”

“No!”  The Doctor gasped in shock when he realized that Alison’s body had been possessed by the Master.

The Master aimed the TCE at his old friend.  “Now I will take care of you once and for all.”

“Let my companion go free.”  The Doctor said softly.

“Get out of the way, you fool.”  The Master shouted, with Alison’s annoying voice.

“What’s going on?”  The Doctor moved to one side.

The Master used the TCE to reduce the advancing alien into a doll-sized corpse.  “You can thank me later.”

The Doctor grabbed hold of Alison’s arms, refusing to quite believe that the Master had complete control of her.  “Alison, it’s me.  Fight it.”

“She’s quite safe.”  The Master replied.  “Think of me as the backseat driver in her mind.  She just can’t do the things we need to do; she’s far too good a person to even imagine them.”  The Master looked at Ksaark.  “You know what your part of the mission is, don’t you?”

Ksaark nodded.  “I get intimate with them and my pain.”  He smiled at the two aliens and left.

“Off you go then, my dear.”  The Master called after the tall green idiot.  “Don’t leave any of them alive if you can help it.”

The Doctor shook Alison/the Master.  “Tell me, what have you done?”

The Master smiled.  “I’m your solution.  You could show a little gratitude.”

“For what?”  The Doctor asked.  “You take control of Alison without asking?  She’d never agree to it, no matter what you say.”

The Master sighed.  “It was a necessary step.  Once I realized what we were dealing with it became quite obvious to me that the two of you could not accomplish it and I would hate to lose either one of you.  However with my assistance we might just have a chance of accomplishing what we need to do.”

“You want me to stand back while you kill?”

The Master nodded, once.  “Yes.”

The Doctor stood defiant.  “No.”

“Very well then, we can just go back to the TARDIS, I’ll return to my robotic form, Alison will be herself again and we can watch on as half of this solar system is destroyed.”

“You’re lying.”

“I have never lied to you Doctor.  I have only ever told you the truth.”

“Yes, well I still don’t believe that.  You lie with the truth.”

“And you tell the truth with lies.”

“Touché.”  The Doctor looked at the ground.  “Now what do you propose we do?”

The Master smiled again.  “It’s quite simple really.  We do what you do best.  We interfere.”

“I never…oh who am I kidding?”  The Doctor looked down at the tiny corpses.  “I never kill though, if I can help it.  We get our point across and they leave if they choose to do so.”

“If only it were that easy.  We’re not dealing with the rational mind here.”

“What are we dealing with?”

“Parasites.  They infect, they corrupt and they steal.  They take everything and what they can’t take they destroy.”

“Nasty little buggers?”

“Oh yes, but not as nasty as we’re going to be.  You see there’s only one way to get rid of parasites, starve them out.”  The Master rubbed her shoulder.  “That shot I gave this body in the TARDIS works ever better than I thought it would.”

Dhalmut-Suun awoke.  He was whole again and already he missed Londer-Pree’s affectionate tortures.  However there were things to do, a mission and reluctantly he returned to his true gelatinous state and oozed across the floor to the door.  Maybe it was quite Rutan of him but he liked to have fun with his victims.  He poured himself through the gap under the door and squelched off down the corridor in search of his prey.  He had not gone far when he came across the most soul-sickening sight of his life, the dead body of his lover.  He picked the shrunken corpse up and absorbed it into his jelly-like body.  It was the ultimate act of love, making his partner a part of himself literally.  Then his sadness turned to a burning anger and a cold hatred.  He would find the one responsible for this, find them and make them suffer a billion agonies and only when they were begging for their life he’d invent whole new tortures just for them in memory of the one he loved.

“Get out of my head!”  Alison screamed quietly inside her own mind.

Ksaark opened fire on a group of aliens, two tall green masses of vegetative tendrils of the Krynoid species and three redder masses of animalistic tendrils that could only be Axon.  The aliens died of course, they never stood a chance really.  A small part of his blood vengeance was satisfied but there were so many other crimes to avenge, so much more blood to be spilled to wash away the debt he owed to the fallen.  He saw a pile of dead bodies, dishonoured even in death by an uncaring enemy.  His thirst for vengeance grew into a furnace of carnage and destruction.  Nothing was spared, no building or vehicle.  Anything that could be used by the enemy was fair game and anyone he met was assured of death.

The Master came to a stop.  “I’m not used to having real feet, are you sure these shoes aren’t in fact subtle devices of torture?”

“Alison never complained about them.  Perhaps you should get out of her head and she can tell me all about them?”

“Soon Doctor, do you think I desire to be trapped in the body of a human?  To live only one short life and then nothing?  I am A Time Lord.”

“No you’re not, you’re an annoyance that I suffer.  Now keep quiet and maybe I’ll just be able to pretend that you’re not around.”

“Let me go!”  Alison tried forcing herself to regain control of her body.  “Get out of my head!”

Dhalmut-Suun waited until the green alien killing machine had gone past him.  It was dangerous and deadly.  It was something to be in awe of.  He found himself envious of the creature, the simplicity of its rage, the brutal honesty of its wrath.  He couldn’t help but admire it, he wanted to be like it, and he wanted to be it.  It was an Ice Warrior, a creature from the nearby red planet, Mars.  Something span inside Dhalmut-Suun’s mind.  A mental cleansing as new ideas and opinions took shape.  His body reformed into a solid green form, he became an Ice Warrior, he was an Ice Warrior, he would take his revenge on those who had killed his lover, like an Ice Warrior.  He looked around for the nearest gun and it felt good in his clamp-like hand.  Unbeknown to him his thoughts and values had changed him utterly, setting him at odds with the rest of his people.  Where once he was an ally now he was an enemy.

Alison summoned all the energy and blasted it at her mental construct of git-face, the body snatcher.  Suddenly she could see and hear again.  Doctor?”  She grabbed at the device in her ear and pulled it out,

 “Alison?”  The Doctor grabbed hold of Alison.  “Is this one of your tricks?”

“It’s me.  I guess it goes to show you there’s nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it.”  She looked at the Doctor.  “You didn’t try to stop him?”

“I wasn’t sure.  I didn’t want to risk hurting you.”

“You worry too much sometimes.”

“I’m glad you’re safe and well again.”  The Doctor hugged Alison.  “I’ll have a stern word with him when we get back.”

“Why don’t we just remove his arms and legs for a few years?”

“Don’t tempt me.”  The Doctor looked down the corridor.  “We’ve got some serious work to do here Alison.  Are you willing to use that?”  He pointed to the TCE in his companion’s hand.

Alison looked at the strange tubular device.  “What is it?”  She dropped it in disgust.  “It’s not something from Ann Summers is it?”

“It’s a weapon.”  The Doctor picked it up and put it in one of his many pockets.  “Best keep it out of harms way.  I dislike guns at the best of times as it is.”

It felt good to just have this much power.  Dhalmut-Suun felt so powerful, like nothing could touch him.  He was a warrior defending his people from the enemy.  He was a trained killer, a monster well versed in the dealing of death and he liked it.  He liked to imagine the sight of his vanquished enemies, the pungent stench of rotting flesh and the feeling of job satisfaction.  He looked forward to making off his kills, keeping a tally of the number of times he had done his duty and slain those who would do harm to his family and friends.  He took aim at one of the enemy, a bulky orange creature covered in sucker like pores.  He opened fire and it was dead before it hit the ground, it made him feel special inside knowing that he had the power to take a life just like that.  It was a power that attracted him, a power that he would wield time and time again as he judged all those who threatened him, he would find them all guilty.  Guilty of being vastly inferior.  He would kill them, he would kill them all.  It felt so good to know that he had finally found an expression for his whole being, it felt so right and normal to be defined by what he was, a protector of the oppressed.  It just never crossed his mind that an hour ago these people were his own kind, now he had become their executioner.

The Master knocked the book case over with his hand.  “Curse that meddling girl.  She’ll get them both killed for certain now.  How could she have been so stupid?  How could I have been so naïve?  Of course I should have explained things first.  Given her the choice.  Now my two dearest friends are going to their doom and I’m stuck in here, powerless to help.  It won’t do, it just won’t do at all.”  He knelt down and began to pick up the books nearest too him.  “Now I have all this to take care of as well.”

Alison felt like she needed a shower, not least because the whole building seemed to be getting hotter and hotter but also because she didn’t know what the Master might have done with her hands.  He could have touched anything, anything at all.  She wasn’t normally one to worry about alien germs, but well she didn’t want to catch something that could make her head swell up to the size of a cantaloupe, again.  “It’s stifling in here Doctor.  You don’t care though; you never get hot or cold no matter what the temperature is.”

 “That’s not true.”  The Doctor replied.  “However it’s not unbearable.  It’s like a brisk summer day.”

A door further down the corridor exploded into the corridor followed by a huge plume of flames.  “Or maybe a building on fire?”  Alison looked back along the corridor.  “We are so dead.”

 “Never give up hope.”  The Doctor walked along to the nearest door and felt the handle with the back of his hand.  “Cold, we should be safe in here.  If there’s a window we can climb out of it.  We’re only two levels up, we can fall easily.”

“Two floors?  I’ll break both my legs.”

“We’re on the moon.  The base is bound to have Inertia controls.  We should just glide down safely.”

“You mean plummet downwards, screaming, and getting badly hurt?”

“We’ll be fine.”  The Doctor all but pushed Alison into the room.  “No window.  Never mind, we can make one.”

“What do you mean?”  Alison looked at the sturdy wall.  “That looks solid to me.”

“Have a little faith.”  The Doctor began to rummage in his pockets.  “Orange.  CD Rom.  Television remote control.  A framed photograph of Professor Chaos.”

“It’s signed.”

“It’s the Master’s birthday present.”

“I bet he was just expecting a tie.”

The Doctor continued the exploration of his pockets.  “Ah ha.  I thought so.  One stick of dynamite.”

“Dynamite?”  Alison said in surprise.  “Are you crazy?”

“Of course not.  It’s just handy to have these little knick-knacks about for when you really need them.”

“You’ll be the death of me.”

Ksaark opened fire on the fuel depot.  He smiled as the compound exploded in a huge red and yellow ball of death.  Then his joy turned to regret as burning fuel rained down on the command centre where he had left the two aliens.  “Alison?  Doctor?”  He felt so many conflicting emotions.  To kill or to save.  To risk or to play safe.  In the end it was a battle between his head and his heart.

The Doctor sellotaped the dynamite to the wall.  “I should really bore a hole in the wall.”

“We don’t have anything like that.”

“I know.  You should carry a few things in your handbag.  Do you like semtex?”

“What?”

“Never mind.”  The Doctor lit the fuse and ushered Alison to the farther most corner.  “It’ll make a loud noise.  You might want to cover your ears.”

“What?”  Alison shouted, to make herself heard as she had her fingers in her ears.

“Never mind.”  The Doctor did likewise as the dynamite exploded.

The Master looked on as the Doctor pulled himself to his feet.  “No, don’t do it.  The gravity generator’s been sabotaged.  You’ll be killed.”  He tried calling the mobile phone but nobody answered.

The Doctor held onto Alison’s hand.  “On three.”  He paused.  “One.”  He jumped.

“That’s not three.”  Alison yelled, before the sudden realisation that she was falling faster and faster sledge-hammered its way into her brain and then she just screamed…

The Master’s hands were a blur of motion as he desperately tried to hack into the control systems that governed the artificial gravity generator.  “Come on.”  He fought the security encryption all the way but it was too complicated even for his mind in so short a time.  “I’m so sorry.”

Ksaark saw the two benevolent aliens as they plummeted out of the window.  There was only one thing he could do.  He aimed at the damaged gravity pump and destroyed it with a blast of sonic energy from his gun.

Alison felt like she was falling into treacle as she suddenly slowed down as the ground came up to meet her.  With just centimetres to spare she hovered above the ground, then slowly she sank down onto the surface.  “What happened?”

The Doctor got to his feet.  “The gravity generator, it’s been disabled. Now we’re under the influence of Lunar gravity, which is not as strong as what you’re use to, and luckily not strong enough to make our landing dangerous to us.”

“How did you do it?”

“I didn’t.”  The Doctor looked around.  “It must have been destroyed.”

“I guess.”  Alison dusted herself down.  “So, what do we do now?”

“Find whoever is in charge and evict them.”  The Doctor pointed towards the large space ship in the distance.

“How did they get that thing in here?”

“A force shielded airlock I should imagine.”  The Doctor pointed out of the translucent dome to the lunar surface beyond.  “There’s the landing platforms.  They can bring a whole battle wagon in here through the underground tunnel network.  Look above, they have much larger ships in orbit around us.  This one is just the shuttle of the advanced guard.”

Dhalmut-Suun edged closer to the command bunker.  It was a squat building, with no obvious signs of fortification on the outside.  Like all Ice Warrior technology the defensive necessity was covered to give a false illusion of weakness to lure an enemy into making errors in their battle strategies.

Ksaark walked over to the two humans.  “You’ve missed all the fun.”

The Doctor glared at the Martian.  “You call all this fun?  You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Do not presume to tell me what is right and wrong.”

“I will.”  The Doctor replied.

“Break it up you two.”  Alison tried to force her way between the two guys.  “Dial the testosterone dial will you?  It’s like listening to my two cousins bicker over their Nintendo.”

“I will not apologise.”  Ksaark grumbled.

“Neither will I.”  The Doctor scowled and kicked at the dusty ground.

Alison shook her head.  “Am I going to have to bang your heads together?  We’ve got to get rid of these aliens, right?  There’s nothing we can do until they’re gone, right?  We have to work together, right?”

“Are you sure you’re not part Martian?”  Ksaark asked.

“She’s plain old Homo sapiens.”  The Doctor replied.  “However she doesn’t let it get in the way,”

“Thanks, I think.”  Alison said to the Doctor.  “I can never quite tell when you’re being nice or not.”

“Thank you.”

“It wasn’t a compliment Doctor.”

“Oh, well I guess I deserved that.”  The Doctor pointed to the alien space ship.  “Shall we proceed?”

The Master sat back in his favourite armchair and let out a long, slow, sigh of relief.  “I don’t know how I can stand the suspense some days, I really don’t.  Why do they do this to me?  They were perfectly safe until that stupid girl interrupted my plan.  Now they’ll never succeed, no, never.”  He sat up.  “Unless…”

“Do you even know what you’re doing?”  Alison asked the Doctor.  “You’ve changed your mind and your plan so often lately.”

“Patience.”  The Doctor replied.  “You must learn what it means and then learn to develop some.  No plan is certain and no certainty ever lasts.”

“That is wise.”  Ksaark agreed.

“That doesn’t make sense.”  Alison muttered.

“I’m glad we agree Ksaark.”  The Doctor nodded at the alien space ship.  “I tend to adapt to the situation, it works better in the long run.  Think of it as a cross between chess, poker and cluedo.”

Alison smiled as she put the pieces together to make a joke.  “So it’s Miss Scarlet who killed the Bishop with the Ace of Clubs?”

“Something like that, but completely different in every respect.  It’s like something Alonso might have said, had I had time to write his lines for him.  “O, it is monstrous, monstrous:  Methought the billows spoke and told me of it; the winds did sing it to me, and the thunder.  That deep and dreadful organ-pipe, pronounced  The name of Prosper: it did bass my trespass.  Therefore my son i' the ooze is bedded, and I'll seek him deeper than e'er plummet sounded, and with him there lie mudded.”

“How is that the same, but different, and did you really meet Shakespeare?  Because if we meet him I’m going to have to kill him.”

“He was rather wordy, yes.  Luckily I managed to smooth off the rougher edges somewhat.”

“You?  You’re responsible for the nightmares and the arguments I had with my teachers?  They made me read that rubbish when I wanted to read about Malcolm X and they wouldn’t let me.  You know: ‘Truth will stand us on our own feet. Truth will make us walk for ourselves instead of leaning on others who mean our people no good.’  I can’t believe you invented that imbibed pentathlon thing.”

“Iambic pentameter?  It was the style of the age.  Can I help it if your culture refuses to update the one thing of it’s past it has not re-invented yet?  Maybe I should have let him use my palm pilot instead of that quill and parchment?”

“We talk too much.”  Ksaark said to the others.  “Words have no place in war.”

The Doctor nodded once, slowly.  “Sadly that is very true.”

The Master strolled around the console, deep in thought.  “It might work, it just might work.”

Alison looked at the door that led inside the alien’s space ship.  “So how do we get inside?”

 “Elementary, my dear Alison.”  The Doctor took out the sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the lock.  “The mark nine opens any door.  I’m a bit like the grim reaper in that respect.”

“What?”

“No lock nor portal bar and all that.”

Dhalmut-Suun burst into the control room, his gun firing at the personnel inside.  Ten were dead in less than a second and the rest followed in the next second.  Soon they were dead, as dead as every other Ice Warrior on the planet.  “This is my planet, my place.”

“Oh but it isn’t.”  The Master’s image flared on the screen.  “You’re nothing but a little mouse, crying because the cat stole his cheese.  Guess what little mouse, I’m the cat and I’ve just had my cream.”

“Show yourself.”

“You show yourself, your real self.”

“This is my true self!”

“Oh but it isn’t, now is it, my dear?  That’s not your true self at all.  You’re just a tiny mouse who thinks it’s a rat who lives in the house that Jack built.  Well guess what little mouse, Jack’s dead and you’re going to be evicted. Give up, and leave this satellite to those who have earned it.  This is not your home, or your place of being.  This is a barren moon orbiting a planet that is not your primary.  Mars is a dead world and it is not your home.  The likes of you were never spawned on that red jewel.”

“No, I am an Ice Warrior of planet Mars! You will not dishonor my heritage in this manner!”

“You used the human name, how easily you betray yourself.  Ares would be shamed to call you kin!”

“Leave me be!”

“I cannot, because I am the cat.  The cat must eat the mouse.”

“I will escape you!  You are nothing!”

“Nothing escapes me. No one escapes me. I am the Master, and you will obey me!”

“I shall not! I shall not obey you!”  In a fit of anger and denial Dhalmut-Suun opened fire on the view screen.

The spaceship door swished open.  “Ladies first.”  The Doctor said to Alison.

“Not on this planet.”  Alison replied.  “Let the guy with the armour and the gun go first is what I’m saying.”

“How quick you learn.”  The Doctor nodded approvingly.

“I shall be glad to take point.”  Ksaark walked inside the spaceship.

The Master turned the monitor off.  “Well I’m fresh out of ideas.  I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard at the end.  I’m afraid I’ve only made him more dangerous and desperate.”

“One thing bothers me.”  Alison said to the Doctor.  “This has all been a little too easy.  I mean there’s this whole army of weird aliens who invade and yet we’ve only run into a few of them.”

“Halt, intruders.”  The leader of the security squad emerged from his hiding place, along with a dozen of his finest security guards.

“I had to go and jinx it, didn’t I?”

The Doctor nodded but said nothing.

“You two will come with me.”

“We know the drill, officer.”  The Doctor replied.  “You arrest us, you assault us in some manner to assert yourself, you imprison us, we escape and over throw your whole society.”

“You think people would learn what we do by now.”  Alison said to the Doctor.

“Yes, I mean they always fall for the mistake of assuming that just because they have the guns they have the weapons.  You see intelligence is one of the greatest weapons of all times.”

“Which is why women are so superior to men.”

“Exac… what?”

“Well look who they’re pointing their guns at?  They assume that because I look pretty and have a nice smile I’m somehow less of a threat, which can be a fatal mistake.”

“You haven’t met the Rani yet, she could learn a lot from you.  Come to think of it you shouldn’t meet her, I don’t want another psychotic Time Lord to deal with right now.”

“Aren’t we getting off track?”

“Yes, you’re quite right.  Although the old keep them talking until the pissed off angry Martian with the heavy weaponry turns up to save you plan works well too.”  The Doctor dived at the floor, knelt up again and pulled Alison down to the floor.

“What the?”  Alison said, before Ksaark opened fire.  “Is he mad?”

“Worse, he’s troubled.”

“Remind me to explain to him that you don’t open fire at your friends.”

“Why do you think I saved you?  Do you honestly think he considers us friends?”

“Well he talked to us like we were friends.”

“You talk to anyone like they’re your friend.  It’s very charming but it’s not always wise.”

“Are you having a go at my social skills?  Mr. I-have-a-broom-stuck-up-my-ass?”

“I was just mentioning that you tend to put your faith in people who might not have necessarily earned it.  Like that headset thing.  You trusted the Master, didn’t you?  Never, ever, ever trust the Master.”

“You told me he was your friend.”

“He is, sort of.  That doesn’t mean I trust him.”

“Then why do you keep him around?”

“I’d rather not mention that right now.  Just know this much, I trust you.”

“You do?”

“Of course.”

“That’s so sweet.  What do you want?”

“Leave the ship, just in case.  Get back to the TARDIS.”

“No.”  Alison replied quickly.  “I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I rather thought you would insist.  Very well then.”

Ksaark stopped firing once the Doctor and Alison were safe.  “We should hurry.”

“Right behind you.”  The Doctor replied.

“I’m going in the middle then.”  Alison said, pushing her way in front of the Doctor.  “I’m just saying its practical is all.  Big guy with the gun in front of me and my best friend watching out in case anyone tries to sneak up on me.”

Dhalmut-Suun was taken by surprise when another Ice Warrior walked into the control room.  “Brother?”  He held out his arms.

“You betrayed us?”  Ksaark asked.

“Never, I slew these pestilent beasts.  Truly this is a great day.  We both survive and kill those who would kill our kind.”

“You lie.”  Ksaark aimed his gun at the impersonator.  “You are not my kinsman.”

“How can you tell?”  Alison asked.

“He wears no armour, his body merely looks like one of my people.  He is one of them.”

“Perhaps we can talk about it?”  The Doctor said to Ksaark.  “There’s no need for violence if these people agree to leave.”

“It’s far too late for that now.”  Ksaark pressed the trigger, but nothing happened.  “Tvaagh! I am out of energy!”

Dhalmut-Suun raised his gun.  “Guess what?  I’m not.”  He fired at Ksaark.

“No!”  Alison cried as Ksaark fell to the ground, thin red blood trickling from his mouth.

“There should have been another way.”  The Doctor glared at the impostor.  “Go now, leave this place, it is not for you.”

“This is my world.”  Dhalmut-Suun replied.

“It is not.”  The Doctor aimed the sonic screwdriver at the nearest control panel and overloaded it.  “You will not destroy this moon.”

“Yes, I remember now.”  Images flashed in Dhalmut-Suun’s mind.  A plan, there was a plan.  “We, the Sera’pa’tis, need to mine this moon, it has many resources to exploit.  Then we will move on, to the blue planet and then the red and then the other lifeless ones.  We need the resources, build more ships.  Find more resources.  Build more ships.  Find more resources.  It never ends, it never ends!”

“The Master was right, you are a parasite or more correctly a plague.  The only way to stop a plague is to burn it out.”  The Doctor moved to the next control panel and pressed several combinations of buttons.  “There, that should sort you out.”

“What have you done?!”

“I’ve set this ship to self destruct.  Once the dome is shattered the vacuum will finish off the rest of your kind still out there.”

“No, you cannot do this!”  Dhalmut-Suun aimed his gun at the arrogant alien.  “You will not stop us.”

“It’s already done.”  The Doctor replied.  “Death won’t stop me now.”

“No!”  Dhalmut-Suun screamed and opened fire, however something large and blue appeared between himself and the target of his rage.

“Just in time.”  The Doctor quipped.  “Come on Alison.”

“Help me.”  Alison said to the Doctor.  “Ksaark is still alive.”

“We don’t have time.”  The Doctor replied.

“We have to save him, or all this was for nothing.”

“Oh very well.”  The Doctor helped Alison drag Ksaark into the TARDIS.

Dhalmut-Suun moved around the cuboid-shaped blue box and fired at the aliens again but the doors to their box closed and they resisted the damage from his gun.  Then the box faded away with a strange grating sound.  He sat down on the nearest chair and waited for the end…

The Master shook his head.  “You should have left him.”

“Shut up.”  Alison said sharply to the Master.

“He has no where to go.”  The Master added.

“He can come with us.”  Alison said brightly.  “Can’t he, Doctor?”

“No.”  The Doctor said slowly.  “He has a place.  Back on Mars.  The vaults there are not filled.  They wouldn’t notice one more survivor.”

“I get to go home?”  Ksaark asked.  “Back to the birthplace of my people?  We consider it a shrine, we only go there to rescue our kin when we can.”

“You deserve a second chance.”  The Doctor reassured his injured friend.

Trudi Styler was cued in.  “Good evening.  There was a crisis today on the Martian lunar colony when a mysterious spaceship collided with the dome.  Earth rescue services rushed to the scene but there were no survivors.”

Alison looked down at the cold metal tube.  “Will he be ok?”

“Yes, maybe, who knows?”  The Doctor began to input the numeric sequence to start the cryogenic cycle.

“You know everything.”  Alison replied with a half-smile.

“Perhaps.”  The Doctor input the last digit of the cycle.

Alison turned away.  “We should go.”

The Doctor nodded solemnly.  “Yes, I don’t want to be here when I arrive.”

“What?”  Alison asked.

“I’ll explain later.”  The Doctor walked back to the TARDIS.

Ksaark awoke to see the face of a strange human looking down at him.  “Who are you?”

“I’m the Doctor.”  The Doctor replied.  “That’s Romana.  Say hello Romana.”

“Hello Romana.”  Romana replied.  “There are some of your people here, they’ve been ever so worried about you.”

“Yes, there was a problem with your cryogenic pod.  Some sort of feedback loop.  If it hadn’t been there no one might ever have found you or your kinsfolk.”

Ksaark sat up.  “I, I don’t understand.”

“We help people.”  Romana explained.  “We’re very helpful, aren’t we Doctor?”

“Doctor?”  Ksaark asked.

“Yes?”

“I’ve heard of you.”

“Well I am quite famous I suppose.  Jelly baby?”  He held out a bag of them.

The Doctor looked at the Master.  “I’ve disconnected the external hologramatic projector.  I’ve also taken the liberty of rewiring one or two of your other…devices.”

The Master looked at the Doctor.  “I never intended to harm her.”

“I know.”  The Doctor held out his hands.  “Pick.”

“That one.”  The Master pointed to the Doctor’s left hand.

The Doctor opened his hand.  “You drew black.”

The Master smiled.  “Appropriate, don't you think?”  He looked down at the chess board and carefully stroked his beard…