This was different, very different. Emma looked up at the swirling pink and orange sky and tried not to be sick. "This has got to be the worst planet we've visited yet Doctor."

"Yes, I can't remember what I used to see in this place. Peri felt much the same way back then. Still they say regeneration remaketh the Time Lord and this me feels we should be somewhere better."

They entered the TARDIS and the Doctor fussed over the cheap looking console until the central column began to rise and fall. Sometimes Emma wondered why it bothered at all. "Where are we going to?"

"Somewhere nice for a change, somewhere quiet, somewhere that doesn't look like Surrey in fact."

"It's the Eye of Orion isn't it?"

"Yes."

"You promised Doctor, no more Eye of Orion. Not after the natives tried to turn me into their entry for Miss Universe."

"Well it was just a misunderstanding ... just a few minutes?"

"Doctor, no." Emma put on her number four scowl; the really serious one.

"Okay, we'll try Telos. The Cybermen have been unusually quiet of late. That means they're being sneaky. A sneaky Cyberman is something I need to keep an eye on Emma."

The TARDIS materialised on a plain of red and gold sand. Small silver creatures began to cluster around the outer doors. The doors swung open and a cloud of pale yellow gas wafted out over them.

"I always knew these cans of gold spray paint would come in handy Emma."

They had to crunch their way over the disabled Cybermats to reach Cybercontrol. Luckily there was a handy signpost that also pointed out such promising locations as Secret Weapon Dump, Recharge Centre and Cybermat Factory.

"Why do Cybermen need signs Doctor?"

"I'll explain later."

"Okay."

Cybercontrol was a stark post-modern concept in silvery metals and transparent plastics. Old fashioned spools of magnetic tape looped backwards and forwards to reinforce their mechanical aspect. The Cybercontroller flounced dramatically around the various consoles. It always paid to look busy; to look like it was in charge of the situation. It knew the Cyberleader was after its job, always being condescending and coming up with the really good ideas. Something would have to be done about it, something involving a car press and a vat of acid.

Emma was so busy concentrating on trying not to be seen she walked straight into the Cyberleader. She tried to scream but its cold metal hand silenced her effectively.

"Aha I think we're here Emma." The Doctor looked around. "Emma? Oh dear captured by the Cybermen already, I just hope they don't plan to do anything rash with another spaceship."

"What do you want with me?" asked Emma.

"Be silent, I'm the one asking the questions."

"Sorry."

"That is better. We are the Cybermen."

"Er, there's only one of you."

"Please do not interrupt my speech. I went to RADA you know. Now where was I?"

"You are the Cybermen."

"Thank you. We are the Cybermen and you will become like us."

"Silver is not the colour this year. Besides I've booked a shampoo and set for next week at Astrobabe so I couldn't possibly join the monotone voice society until next Thursday."

"You will become like us."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"We will explain later."

"Oh very well then, but I get to keep my own voice and bottom."

"Acceptable."

"There's just one thing, the Doctor is standing behind you holding a can of gold spray paint."

The Doctor sprayed at the chest panel of the Cyberleader as it turned around. Unfortunately he had run out. "Oh dear, I don't suppose I can distract you long enough until I think of a plan b?"

"No, Doctor."

The Cyberleader took great joy in showing the so-called Cybercontroller he had captured the Doctor and his assistant. "We should make them become like us."

"He'll have a trick up his sleeve Cyberleader. We should proceed with caution."

"He is powerless Cybercontroller. I will deal with them."

"Be careful Cyberleader."

The Cyberleader attached the conversion tubes to the two organic beings. Soon they would become cybernetic and maybe he could get a date with the assistant once she was converted. It was said that Cyberwomen were the most beautiful of all devices in the universe, even more so than the model 7 deluxe Sony frontloading VCR.

"Doctor how are we going to get out of this one?"

The Doctor pulled out a small bag of gold dust, which was conveniently concealed up his sleeve, and he threw it at the Cyberleader. He smiled as it thrashed around, foam pouring out of its chest panel. It caught their bonds and freed them. "Thank you. Now Cybercontroller please step out of our way and I won't blow your planet up."

"Oh very well Doctor but remember next time I will destroy you."

"Of course you will. Come on Emma, lets go somewhere that has realistic walls."

"Okay, Doctor."

The TARDIS dematerialised off on its way to another, possibly better, adventure.

The Cybercontroller put a picture of the Doctor on its wall of enemies to defeat. One day, when the time was right obviously, there would be a reckoning. A dark and terrible reckoning. The Doctor would pay for each and every crime against the Cyber-race. He would be, they would, the Doctor would be. Drat; this really was the Cyberleader's area of expertise, he would have to build another one.