SCENE 1

Rumble of thunder

THE DOCTOR

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing

Roar of a motorcycle going past at speed

ADAM

That's the third motorcyclist that's passed us.  Hells bloody accountants, poncing about. They should have something better to do with their lives, I know I should.

THE DOCTOR

We have enough to occupy our selves tonight, without looking for more trouble.

ADAM

What's the matter?

THE DOCTOR

Your mind has been possessed by some sort of neural parasite, I need to find a way to remove it from you.  Also there are some strange temporal anomalies.  We should probably do something about those too.

ADAM

So why did we land so far away?

THE DOCTOR

Let’s just say what you don’t know you can’t reveal if you’re tortured in several horrifically painful ways.

ADAM

I’ll just tell them you know everything.

THE DOCTOR

If only that were true.

ADAM

You said you knew everything.

THE DOCTOR

Almost everything.  If I knew everything then life wouldn’t be this much fun, would it?

Another rumble of thunder

The rain begins to pour heavily and loudly

ADAM

I’m going to die out here, aren’t I?

DOCTOR

Out here is in there, inside your mind.

ADAM

If I die in my dreams, do I die in real life?

SCENE 2

Shop muzak plays in the background

THE DOCTOR

They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good... are either one of these any good?

YARVIN

What?

THE DOCTOR

Are either one of these any good?  I’ve heard so much about Brittney, but there’s also a lot to be said for Beyonce.

YARVIN

I don't listen to music, I run a music store, you think I want to take my work home with me mate?

THE DOCTOR

Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?

YARVIN

I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.  You should try that for a change.

THE DOCTOR

You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?

YARVIN

Nope.

THE DOCTOR

Well, what about these two?

YARVIN

Oh, they suck.

THE DOCTOR

These are the same two CD’s! You weren't even paying any attention to me!

YARVIN

Do you think anybody does?

THE DOCTOR

I don't think your manager would appreciate

YARVIN

I don't appreciate your ruse, sir

THE DOCTOR

I beg your pardon?

YARVIN

Your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me.

THE DOCTOR

I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying!

YARVIN

And, I hope it feels good.

THE DOCTOR

You hope what feels good?

YARVIN

I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?

THE DOCTOR

Well, this is the last time I visit here!

YARVIN

Oh no, I’m so scared, you trapped me in your web of irrefutable logic and now you mete out your own brand of vigilante justice, what a guy, what a hero.  Miss Marple doesn’t stand a chance with you around, does she?

SCENE 3

(Birds twittering)

THE DOCTOR

We are gathered here today to say a final goodbye to our old friend Adam. But maybe it ain't so final. Maybe he's just going on ahead into the Unknown to do a little recon job for us all.  I just got this one thing to say. Nobody ordered Adam to take on this mission.  He was possessed by something else and was not in control of his own actions.  That's what we award our highest medal for.  That's what being a companion is all about.  Only one man here can add anything to that.

YARVIN

Receive, my brother, this sacramental food for your journey.  (beat)  The body of our Lord Jesus Christ, that He may guard you from the wicked enemy and lead you into everlasting life.  Amen.

ADAM

What the hell's that?

THE DOCTOR

It’s a coffin.  Your coffin.

ADAM

I'm not even dead yet.

YARVIN

Be a lot more convenient for me if you got into the box now, save me the trouble of burying you twice.

SCENE 4

(falling rain)

ADAM

I’m not asking them for directions.

The door opens.

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

Hello. Please, forgive the delay. My sight is not what it was.

THE DOCTOR

Hello to you.  I’m the Doctor and this is my waterlogged friend Adam.

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

You’re wet..

THE DOCTOR

Don’t drip on the carpet Adam.

ADAM

You’ll have to excuse the Doctor, I know I’ve made a hobby of it.

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

You're still dripping.

ADAM

It’s raining, rain does that to clothes.  Except in Middlesbrough where it dissolves them.

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

I think you had better both come inside.

ADAM

Before or after I die of pneumonia?

SCENE 5

ADAM

Are you sure this guy’s trustworthy

THE DOCTOR

Everyone’s trustworthy at some point in their lives.

ADAM

You’re doing this deliberately, aren’t you?

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

It's not very often I receive visitors here.  Let alone offer them (beat) hospitality.

SCENE 6

YARVIN

What kind of person was I?  A good person?  A bad person?

THE DOCTOR

Adam was a splendid example of humanity.

A flute is played

YARVIN

You're wrong.  Did you know I knew how to play this? In which part of him did this knowledge reside? From his mind? From his hands? From his heart? And reading and speaking. Not so much things learned as things remembered.

THE DOCTOR

Adam’s brain waves have not been erased, just submerged.  There is a way to stop this.

YARVIN

Did you ever consider the consequences of your actions? What am I? Who am I?

THE DOCTOR

You? I don't know what you are and I don’t particularly care.  All I care about is my friend.

YARVIN

And you think that I am evil?

SCENE 7

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

Everything is in readiness, Master.  I merely await your word.

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

Tonight you are to witness a breakthrough in biochemical research.  A paradise on Earth, if you will.  It was an accident really, one of those quirks of fate.  I was researching a new way to build reactors and I stumbled upon a way of achieving immortality.  You see, Doctor, Adam, you are both very fortunate.  For tonight is the night that my creature is destined to be born.  Lower the vat.

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

Lowering the vat, master.

Chains clank and metal groans

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

Inside this vat of nourishing fluid lies the test subject.  I have infused it with my immortality serum.  All I have to do is turn it on.  Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator and step up the reactor power input three more points.

Strange alien sound waves pulse, as if inside the human skull

Another aural tone, of tremendous energies, rises in pitch

We hear liquid bubbling

ADAM

I’m so out of here.

THE DOCTOR

Oh Adam, where’s your curiosity?

ADAM

I left it in the TARDIS, I’ll go and look for it right now.

THE DOCTOR

And embarrass me in front of our host?

ADAM

Our host is a mad scientist.  An actual, genuine mad scientist.  I’m not waiting around here until he tries to turn me into something icky with tentacles.

THE DOCTOR

Too late

LADY GEOKAI

Doctor X would never do that, he’s such a professional.  Does this skirt make my bum look big?

ADAM

Don’t creep up on people, you hippy weirdo.

LADY GEOKAI

I’m not a hippy, am I?

THE DOCTOR

You’re helping him?

LADY GEOKAI

Sure, why not?  I helped him build his time machine too.  Don’t worry, I didn’t give away any of our secrets.  Well none of the really important ones anyway.  Do you like my waistcoat?  I made it myself.  I built my own knitting machine out of a box of drawing pins and a pot noodle.

ADAM

I take it all back Doctor, she’s the crazy one around here.

THE DOCTOR

I don’t think for a second they’d let you leave home, my Lady.

LADY GEOKAI

I’m a tourist.  I booked a holiday here, I wasn’t sure about this hotel at first but helping Doctor X kind of takes my mind off things.

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

It’s alive!  My creature is alive!  Immortality is mine to control!!!

LADY GEOKAI

Great, we can have a party.  I have just the perfect dress in my room.

SCENE 8

THE DOCTOR

Again?

ADAM

Yeah.

THE DOCTOR

One, two, three.

ADAM

Rock

THE DOCTOR

Paper

ADAM

Again, I win.

THE DOCTOR

No, I win.  Paper wraps rocks.

ADAM

No, paper cannot possibly beat rock.

THE DOCTOR

It does.  Paper beats rock.

ADAM

Rock rips through paper.

THE DOCTOR

Adam, that's not how it works. Paper beats rocks.

ADAM

That's unrealistic.

THE DOCTOR

Well, it's the rules. And it's not supposed to be realistic, it's supposed to be entertaining.

ADAM

My coma is more entertaining.

THE DOCTOR

Don’t say that.

SCENE 9

YARVIN

Look at what they abandoned in their panic, they were afraid! They were too scared, so they hid it away from the public. They forgot all shame and honor, cast off the civilization and science we had created, and shut the lid of the Pandora's Box they themselves had opened.

THE DOCTOR

What a piece of work is a companion? How noble in reason. How infinite in faculty. In form and moving how express and admirable. In action, how like an angel. In apprehension, how like a God. The beauty of the world. The paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust. Killing delights not me, no nor allowing this evil creature inside my best friend to continue living.

YARVIN

He’s mine, I’ll never let him go and you can’t take him from me.

THE DOCTOR

The future is not a straight line. There are many different pathways. We must try to decide that future for ourselves.

YARVIN

Your companion sucks jelly babies in hell.

THE DOCTOR

To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them.  I will find a way to release you Adam.

YARVIN

Kindness is nothing but hypocrisy in disguise. It is a human deception. Man enjoys the suffering of others - it gives him something to be thankful for, something to feel good about, something to feel superior.  How much more superior do you feel, Holy Man?

THE DOCTOR

Don't put all that on my shoulders. Every day I stand in the blood of innocents and pull them out of their own stupidity and try to save as many of them as I can, if I can, and if I can't do that to your satisfaction then to hell with you.

SCENE 10

ADAM

Let me out of this cage.

THE DOCTOR

I can’t, you’ve imprisoned yourself in your own mind.

YARVIN

(scary) Adam (beat) I know your secrets

ADAM

That creature’s saying my name, don’t listen to it Doctor.

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

It’ll be sucking your brainwaves out of your head I expect.  I had great problems with sustenance I admit, but I find that the human mind possesses such great (beat) potential

THE DOCTOR

It’s eating Adam’s brain?

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

It shouldn’t take long, I know.

ADAM

Stop that thing, it’s in my head

YARVIN (even scarier now)

Adam killed a girl when he was only ten.  Adam shot her in the face with his Daddy’s shotgun.  Adam joined the Hierarchy when he was fifteen.  Adam can’t wash all that blood off his hands.  Adam…no, I control you.

ADAM

No, you don’t.  Get out of my head.

Metal bars snapping

THE DOCTOR

Adam?

YARVIN

No, you are mine

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

My baby

THE DOCTOR

What have you done?

LADY GEOKAI

Well my basic guess is that he’s been possessed. 
                                    Some sort of adaptive, mutagenic DNA is taking control of the body.  Altering,
                                    changing, becoming.

THE DOCTOR

What do you mean?

LADY GEOKAI

Unless I’ve very wrong, which I rarely am, that creature is making Adam into another one of whatever the hell
                                    it is.

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

I’m going to be a grandparent.  My creature shall live and we will all die so that it survives and lives.

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

We have to burn them both.

DOCTOR X (RANLIN) (Angry)

No, this is my creation.

LADY
                                    GEOKAI

(Sad) It’s too late for
                                    him.  I’m afraid your friend is no more 
                                    (Brightens up) Who wants to get a pizza?

THE DOCTOR

Now hold on, you dumb...

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

You stupid, stupid man.  To think I served you faithfully all these years too.

(clicks
                                    of hammer being pulled back on a gun)

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

This is mutiny Mr. Crispen.

THE DOCTOR

We must find a way to save my friend

LADY GEOKAI

I agree.  We should do something.  If I were looking for a way to save my best friend from mortal danger, what would I do?  Hmmm, I’ll have to think about this.  Maybe if I pretend
                                    Adam is my sister?  No, too many scary images.

THE DOCTOR

We don’t have time for a potted history of your family.

LADY
                                    GEOKAI

Ok, now what if I try creating
                                    a liquid that will attack the monster’s DNA but leaves Adam’s unharmed? 
                                    It’s a bit easy but you don’t always have to take the hard road to find the answer.  (slosh of liquids.) I’m done.

THE DOCTOR

Inject it into Adam, quickly.

LADY GEOKAI

Jeez, who died and made you boss?

THE DOCTOR

Please?

LADY GEOKAI

Very well.  (beat) I don’t know if this
                                    will hurt or not, I’m guessing it will but it’s for your own good.

DOCTOR X (RANLIN)

It’s all so simple really.

Blast of a revolver

MR CRISPEN THE BUTLER (HUGO)

Urgh!

Body hits the floor

ADAM

(Angry) No, get out of my head, none of this is real, get out, get out, get out!

THE DOCTOR

Relax Adam, just relax.  The creature is controlling your mind.

ADAM           

I’ll kill you all…

THE DOCTOR

Listen to me, fight your fears, overcome your worst instincts.

YARVIN

No, don’t do that.  I command you, I control you, I am you, you will not harm me…

ADAM

Nooooooo!

YARVIN

Urgh…

The body hits the floor

SCENE 11

RANLIN

(anxious) The Holy Father, he’s losing, we must kill the infidel now…

HUGO

(stalling for time) No, wait…

ADAM

(screaming) Nooooooo!

RANLIN

(resolute) I know my duty.  I must kill the impure beast, to release the pure soul of our beloved brother trapped within this stinking carcass, this terrible prison of the flesh, it must ascend into you, Hugo.

HUGO

(cautious) We dare not kill the Doctor yet, killing him may harm the Holy Father.  We cannot risk doing that.  We must not risk doing anything that might bring harm to the Holy Father…

RANLIN

(angry) No, he is hurting the Holy Father, (beat) for that sacrilege alone he must be put to a swift and sadly painless death…

Closing theme music