SWEEP ARRESTS TERRY DUCKWORTH

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PC SWEEPS ADVENTURES PAGE 5.

SWEEP ARRESTS TERRY DUCKWORTH

PC Sweep arrested the well-known villain Terry Duckworth from Coronation Street, for the theft of £25,000 from his parents Jack and Vera.
PC Sweep found the villain Terry hiding out at the holiday resort of Bridlington, going under the pseudonym of ‘Nigel Pivaro.’ After the arrest, PC Sweep said that Terry had been trying to pass himself off as an actor and despite his protests that he really was Nigel Pivaro and that Terry Duckworth was just a character he played on television, there was no fooling Sweep.
Sweep went on to say. “Everyone thinks I’m not very clever, but I saw what Terry did and this acting story is fooling no-one!”

PAUL DANIELS AND SOOTY ARRESTED!

SOOTY STRIKES BACK! NICKED NAUGHTY MAGICIANS!

Paul Daniels and Sooty have both been arrested after a ‘Magic Fight’ broke out during a meeting of the Magic Circle.
It was ‘Izzy Wizzy’ versus ‘Abracadabra’ as the two magicians fought with their magic wands.
PC Sweep was called, after an innocent passer-by was turned into a frog by a wayward spell.
After their arrest, Mr Daniels and Sooty were taken to the local Police Station. It is rumored that they both later escaped on broomsticks, after being asked to sweep the exercise yard!

SWEEP MEETS HIS YOUNGEST FAN

PC Sweep visited the maternity ward at the hospital yesterday, to meet his youngest fan, two hour old, Tiny Weenie Baby Jordan.
Sweep being Sweep however, caused some confusion by walking around looking at the ceiling and searching through cupboards!
When confronted by a cross looking nurse Sweep explained that he was looking for the Stork that had brought Baby Jordan, as he couldn’t understand how it had flown away, as all the doors and windows were still locked?
Soo thankfully led Sweep away and said she would have a little word with him, however judging by the above photograph, Jordan looks to have whispered something in Sweeps ear already!
As Sweep left the ward he was heard to say,
“ I’m going to have to ask what diet Jordan's mummy is on, as she’s lost loads of weight from her tummy since this morning!” Oh Sweep!

SQUIRREL THREAT TO WORLD PEACE!

Sweep undercover as a Squirrel

An undercover operation by our very own PC Sweep has revealed that squirrels are not as innocent as they appear but are secretly planning to take over the world! The similarity between Sweep and the Gray Squirrel had not gone unnoticed by S.I.D. (Squirrel Investigation Department.) S.I.D. recruited Sweep, for a highly dangerous operation to infiltrate the squirrel high command and learn of their plans. The full scale and horror of what Sweep found however, will shock the World.

The Gray Squirrels arrived on the shores of the U.K. in 1876 and immediately went to war against the Red Army, which was led, at that time, by General Tufty. Having defeated General Tufty on the battlefield, the Red Army was reduced to a few pockets of resistance and unbeknown to the outside world the Grays turned their attention to the world of Human beans. Since then the Grays have won over our affections and using clever disguises have infiltrated every level of society.

All the readers of the Sweep News are urged to seek out the squirrels and save our world from certain destruction! The one weakness discovered by our hero Sweep, is Nuts. Yes, squirrels cannot resist nuts and this is their Achilles toe. SID’s advice is to entice the squirrels out. Ask your friends, bosses and colleagues if they would like a nut and if the answer is “Yes,” point at them and shout as loud as you can, “Squirrel! Squirrel!” SID’s advice is to then run as fast as you can and leave the dirty work to S.O.D. (Squirrel Obliteration Department.)

Remember Squirrels threaten life as we know it and it is up to all of us to play our part in saving the planet. May God be with you.