She sat in a darkened room, with only the light from the stars shining on the small, intricately carved box setting onher desk. The inanimate messenger of her revenge.

An evil smile emerged, and the points of her ears were revealed under blonde hair as she turned to face the creature who would deliver the box.

Smoothly, she slid it across the desk. The Traxan picked it up, and briefly inspected it. Satisfied, he deposited itin a pouch at his side. He looked up to meet the eyes of his employer. No words were needed. He knew what was required of him. So, with a slight nod of his head, he turned and left.

She closed her eyes and let out a long, contented breath. She laughed out loud as she imagined the effect of her scheme. "Captain Picard, prepare yourself for that human hell of yours."

Jean Luc Picard was totally immersed in his latest project, a strange box he had picked up at an archaeological conference while on a shore leave recently. Consequently, he didn't hear the door chime the first time. Another ring brought him out of his concentrated study. "Come", hecalled, almost impatiently.

Beverly entered, and was about to inquire as to reason for her delayed entry, but reconsidered when she saw what he had in his hand. She smiled inwardly, *Jean Luc sure does love his mysteries.*

"Good Morning, Jean Luc. I see your still busy trying to figure out your latest discovery," She said as she sat.

He absently looked up. Almost like he had forgotten she was there. "I'm sorry, Beverly. What did you say?"

Beverly's forehead crinkled slightly as she inspected him. It wasn't like the captain to be so forgetful. Then she noticed the slight shadows under his eyes. "Didn't get much sleep again lastnight, did you?"

A guilty expression came over his face as he answered. "I slept a few hours."

He lied. Well, not a total lie. He did sleep for about a half hour, but the mystery of the box called him out of his restless slumber.

Ever since his return 3 days prior, he had been totally immersed in the study of the mysterious black box. Sensors couldn't penetrate it. And he had not been able to accurately date it. The carvings were unknown to him. It was an...enigma.

Beverly considered his answer. "Why don't you take the morning off, and get some rest. I'm sure Will can handle it." She casually suggested as she took a sip of her drink.

Picard's eyes narrowed at her suggestion. For some reason he felt extremely angry. "I'm fine doctor. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a test I want to do before I go to the bridge."

He stood up, box in hand, and exited his quarters.

Beverly, slightly taken aback at his brusque manner, only stared after him as he made his escape.

Picard was halfway to his destination before the haze of the anger at Beverly started to wear off. He wasn't even quite sure where the extreme reaction came from. As a matter of fact, he couldn't remember much of anything that happened while his CMO was in his quarters.

*Must be the lack of sleep,* he said to himself. But deep down, a part of him was concerned. Very concerned. But that part was soon shut away as the mystery of the box he was carrying took hold again, and he entered the elemental analysis lab.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A darkness descended on her. Something once so familiar, and yes, loved. Now was unknown to her. She was frightened of it. She tried to run... to get away, but it was impossible. She tried to reason with it, but it just laughed at her. Beverly could do no more so she just screamed....

"Beverly....Beverly, wake up. It's me. Deanna." The empathic Betazoid was shaking the Doctor's shoulder trying to rouse her from her troubled sleep.

Beverly shot up from the head's down position she had been sleeping in at her desk. Her eyes were wide as she tried to shake off the lingering affect of the nightmare.

Shakily, she answered her."Deanna? How long have I been asleep?"

Deanna wouldn't have wakened her, Goddess knew she needed the sleep, butthe nightmare was so intense it troubled the Betazoid all the way out in the bay as she counseled a sick patient.

The past days aboard the Enterprise had been some of the most trying that anyone could remember. A disaster at an outlying colony had kept everyone busy. But sick bay, and especially it's CMO, bore the brunt of the work.

"I'm not sure. But I do know you could use several more hours of it. Preferably in your own cabin." Deanna finished.

The red head slowly rose from her desk, running her hands through her hair as she did. "That's quite impossible at the moment. I have patients to attend to."

She tried to shrug past her, but the Counselor would have none of that. Deanna stopped the obstinate doctor with a hand on the shoulder. "Beverly, you have been working almost non-stop for the past several days. You're exhausted. I'm sure Dr. Selar and Nurse Ogawa can handle things here."

Beverly was about to argue the point, but decided against it. Truth be told, she was tired. It seemed that she hadn't left the sick bay since this whole thing started. Hell, she couldn't even remember the last time she sat down for a meal.

At the thought of eating, Beverly's mind brought forth the image of the Captain. He had been curiously absent from sick bay, sending Riker down to assess progress.

"You right Deanna. I'm going," Crusher relented. She lightly touched the empath on the arm as she went to go.

Deanna watched with concern as her friend exited sick bay. Now, if she could only get the Captain to take the same advice as his CMO.

In his darkened cabin, he stared. At nothing in particular, just the odd shadows cast by objects around the room. As long as he could remember, the anger had held him. Unrelenting in its grip. And the longer she stayed away from him, the madder he became.

This was the way it always was. Something (or more specifically, someone) came along, and he was thrust into the background. A supporting player, and a minor one at that. First Walker, then Jack, Odan, Ronin... but never him. Dammit! Damn her!

He jumped up, and started to pace like a caged animal. "How long does she think I can take this?" He said as he clutched his fists so tightly they were turning white from lack of circulation.

A rational thread emerged in his thought process' *What is wrong with me? I need to get control.* He sat down heavily at his desk, and put his head in his hands.

*Control...I am a Star Fleet officer...control...*

Whatever tiny spark of rationality he had, fled as the door to his cabin opened to reveal the red headed temptress of his dreams...his nightmares.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Commander Riker stroked his beard as he sat in the Big Chair. They were currently orbiting Veluvia IV, the rescue and relief mission winding down. It had been a tough week, everyone had been working long hours.

It seemed as though most of the decision making for this mission had been delegated to him, as the Captain chose to spend most of his time elsewhere. At first, it seemed his time was spent studying the box, but lately, Riker wasn't sure what he was doing. Most of the time he found the Captain in a subdued Ready room listening to opera, or just staring. Riker was starting to get worried.

"Commander," Data broke into his thoughts.

"Yes. What is it Data?"

"Sir, since we have had some free time regarding sensor usage, I have been running a calibration program. I am picking up some anomalous readings in the Theta band."

"The Theta band Data?" Riker asked.

"Yes, sir. I realize that is not a normal sensor range, but it is usually used as a negative control during calibrations such as this."

Riker racked his brain for the significance of this information. Well, what the hell was Data for anyway? "And exactly what could be the cause for this "anomalous" reading?"

"Unknown, sir. I will endeavor to find out," Data replied

"Let me know when you have something." Riker turned back to the view on the forward screen, stroking his beard.

Beverly stood outside the Captain's cabin waiting for him to answer the door. She had just asked the computer his location to confirm his whereabouts, but after signaling 3 times, there was still no answer. Worried at the lack of response, she decided to use her medical over ride to gain admittance.

"Captain, are you all right? Didn't you hear me? I rang several times..."

He cut her off, "How did you get in here?"

She squinted her eyes in the dim light, trying to see him. "Why is it so dark in here? Computer...increase lighting 50%. As I was saying before, I rang several times. I was worried, so I used my medical override."

Now that she could see him, she was more troubled than before. It looked like he hadn't been sleeping or eating (probably a lot like she looked).

Her features and voice softened, "Jean Luc..." she said as she stepped forward.

He backed away at her approach. "Well, you're concern is touching my dear Doctor, but as you can see, I'm fine. You can leave now. You've done your duty."

Warning bells went off in her head. His tone was clipped, almost angry. What the hell did he have to be mad about? She came here to see him, not to be dismissed like some errant cadet.

With her hands on her hips, "I don't know what the hell is wrong, but that was uncalled for. I haven't seen you all week, and as soon as I get a moment free, I come to see if you would like to have dinner with me. But on second thought, I'd rather eat alone. Goodnight, Captain." She turned sharply, and left before he had a chance to reply.

However, at the moment, he was too furious to come up with an appropriate retort. He walked over to his desk, "Fucking Bitch!" he cursed as he slammed his hand down on its surface.

Enraged at her for leaving again, for not staying despite his command to go, Jean Luc Picard did not notice the blood leaking from his hand. A wound incurred by the act of smashing the delicate crystal blow sculpture that had been located on his desk. A gift from Dr. Crusher when he was still Captain of the Stargazer.

Beverly stormed through her cabin doors, and started to take her grimy uniform off. Each piece was roughly thrown in the direction of the reclamator.

"What an insensitive jerk," she fumed as she prepared to take a long, hot shower.

"I'm the one who's been working their ass off. I'm not the one who's been holed up in my ready room for the last week studying some ancient box," she said to the spray that started to bombard her weary body with warmth.

*Why was he so angry? Maybe I should've tried a little harder to see what was wrong. Smooth move, Bev. Let the Howard temper get the better of you again.*

She vowed to be more patient next time. To try and see what the real problem was. He was her best friend, a friend she just happened to be in love with. But right now, all she could really deal with was a cup of hot chamomile tea, and her warm (albeit empty) bed.

Just as she was getting comfortable under the covers, and was about to slip into sleep, the door buzzer sounded.

She ignored it. But the second one let her know that the caller meant business.

"Damn," she muttered under her breath as she threw her covers off, and increased lightning.

"Just a minute," she said to the door as a third impatient ring assaulted her ears.

Walking to the main cabin, struggling with the ties to her robe, she was startled to see a figure silhouetted in the entrance.

"You shouldn't have left, Beverly. I didn't give you permission to leave. I'll never give you permission to leave," he said in a low, almost menacing voice as he entered her cabin the rest of the way, the doors shutting behind him.

Beverly was confused, if not slightly alarmed, "Capt...Jean Luc, what is wrong with you? First, you are rude to me, then you barge in here late at the night sounding...well, not sounding like yourself."

He slowly advanced towards her, "My lovely Beverly, there is nothing wrong with me. Well, nothing that you can't fix."

Beverly started to back up. *What the hell is wrong with him?*

"Jean Luc, I don't know what you are doing here, but I want you to leave," Beverly said with conviction as her back came against the wall.

Jean Luc smiled as he came up to the cornered doctor, and put his hands against the wall on either side of her head. He leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear, "You don't really want me to leave, do you? Because I'm not going."

He finished his statement with a nip on her ear. Beverly tried to thrust her self back, only to realize there was a wall blocking that route. She went to duck down under his arms to escape that way, but he grabbed her by the shoulders and roughly shoved her back against the wall.

"Jean Luc, let me go. Right now. Or I'll call security," Beverly tried to keep her voice calm. To not let it give away the fact that at this moment, she was scared. She was also mystified as to why he was doing this. Why, after all this time.

Also, deep down, she was excited by the sudden appearance of an aggressive Jean Luc. And at this thought, she was deeply ashamed.

Jean Luc pressed his body up against her, forcing her harder against the wall. "I've temporarily disabled your com system. Don't want to be disturbed now, do we?"

He roughly grabbed her breast, massaging it through her robe and nightgown while his mouth came down on the sensitive part of her neck. Combining teeth, tongue, and lips, Jean Luc ravaged the exposed flesh.

For her part, Beverly didn't know what to do. Here was the person she trusted most in this universe, who at this moment was doing something she had always wanted, but it just didn't seem right somehow.

She racked her brain to find an answer, but his incessant ministrations were causing a not so logical reaction. She let out a low moan as his hand moved down her body, and he stroked the moist center in between her legs.

This move also caused Beverly to come to her senses, "Jean Luc...no."

He continued to rub her, moving his fingers deeper, full entry being blocked only by the fabric of her night gown.

Speaking breathlessly into her ear, "You want me, Beverly. I can feel it... right here."

And to emphasize his point, he stroked her harder whilst pressing the evidence of his desire against her thigh.

Beverly was starting to get desperate. He had her almost immobile pressed up against the wall. Her upper body strength was no match for his. Her legs, though, were another story.

She hooked her left leg around his ankle, and using a weighted counter maneuver, she threw him to the floor. "I said no. Now, get out."

Jean Luc looked a little stunned. Then his face flushed a darker shade of red as anger coursed through his veins anew. He got to his feet.

"I don't think you understand, Doctor. No, is just not an option at this point. I've waited 25 years. I'm not waiting any longer," he said as he went to grab for her.

Despite being shocked at his refusal to leave, Beverly still had the state of mind to twist out of his reach, and run to the door.

Which did not open to let her out. Before she could plan an alternate route, Jean Luc slammed into her back, forcing her violently against the unopeneing doors.

He grabbed her hair from the back, yanked hard and twisted to where her head was at an uncomfortable angle.

"I don't believe I gave you permission to leave, Doctor. I'm not through with you yet," he finished by biting down on the back of her neck, hard.

The action made Beverly yelp, "Jean Luc, you're hurting me. Please..."

He let go of her hair, but kept the force on her back. "Please. Please what, Beverly? I want to hear you say it."

Beverly choked back the tears she could feel pooling in her eyes. "I...I don't understand. What do you want?"

He grabbed her rear, and started to run his hand up and down the center. Pressing further, and further into it. "I think it's perfectly obvious what I want, Beverly. I just want to hear you ask for it."

*This can't be happening. This can't be happening. Think, Beverly. Think.* She tried to not let the fear of what was happening overtake her, but at this point it was getting tougher and tougher.

In this position, she was caught. It was time to change tactics.

"You're right, Jean Luc. I've wanted this for so long," she purred while grinding her rear into him, hoping she sounded convincing.

His hold let up slightly, and he turned her to face him. He kissed her hard, probing her mouth with his tongue before pulling back.

"Say it," he said.

Looking into his eyes, Beverly opened her mouth as if to speak, then abruptly brought her knee up as hard as she could. Jean Luc fell to the ground with a grunt, holding the injured part.

Seeing that he was incapacitated, Beverly bent down to open a side panel to attempt to manually override the locking mechanism. Just as she was about to initiate the final sequence, she felt hands grab her and throw her to the ground.

Looking up, she saw him, and what she saw scared the hell out of her. He bent down, but she kicked his arm away.

"I can see we're going to have to do this the hard way," and faster than she could react, he lunged and grabbed her by the ankle. He then proceeded to drag her through the main room, towards the bedroom.

"Jean...Captain, you don't have to do this. If you let me go, we can work this out," Beverly tried reason with him. Anything to have the nightmare stop.

He slid her across the threshold to her bedroom. That's when she made a last ditch effort to stop him. She came up with a hand to hit him, but he just caught the swing before it connected.

Jean Luc laughed at her as he sat down on her, and pinned her arms above her head.

"If I'd known you like it rough, I would've taken you years ago."

Scared, but suddenly determined, "I'll fight you."

Again, a smile appeared on his face, "It wouldn't be any fun if you didn't."

Jean Luc slid his body down so that he was lying on top of her. Beverly took the opportunity that the shift in weight gave her. She bucked up with her legs, attempting to throw him to the side. The Captain just pushed his body harder into her, while wrapping one of his legs through hers to prevent another similar attempt.

Still holding her hands above her, his mouth came down hard on hers. Taking what she refused to willingly give, he sucked her tongue into his mouth. She turned her face from him, not allowing him further access.

Not deterred, he just continued his actions on her neck and shoulders. He slipped up to an exposed ear and whispered, "Is this what you like, Beverly? A man that takes..."

Beverly turned to look at him, "I don't know who you are, but you're not Jean Luc Picard. He would never..."

Jean Luc pulled her arms up further over her head so he was able to grasp both of them with one large hand, "Oh wouldn't I? Don't be so sure of that my dear Doctor."

With his one hand now free, he grabbed the front of her nightgown and ripped it to expose her breasts. Bending down, he sucked one rosy nipple into his mouth, lightly rolling it between his teeth and tongue until it formed a hard peak.

Although Beverly realized it was a sympathetic reaction to stimulus, she was still mortified at her bodies response. She started to buck, and squirm, anything to let him know that she was not compliant. That she didn't want this. She didn't like it.

Jean Luc bit down on her other nipple just enough to let her know that he was still in control, and that he could make it more painful if he chose to.

He reached down under her gown, and proceeded to stroke the moist folds there. As he continued to suckle on her exposed breasts, he slipped one, then two, and finally squeezed three fingers into her.

Beverly gasped at the intrusion. It had been a long time since she had been with a man, and she wasn't exactly prepared for the rough handling she was now receiving.

Jean Luc moved back up to her neck, kissing it softly as he moaned, "Oh Beverly...God, your so tight. I think it's been too long, don't you?"

Emphasizing his point, he started grinding his hard length into her leg. Beverly knew what was coming. She was almost resigned to this nightmare, but the Howard temper gave her the strength to do make one last escape attempt.

With him kissing her neck, she had a good shot at the side of his head. Not to alert him, she lightly kissed his ear. This elicited a low moan from him, but he didn't attempt to stop her. So she gently started tonguing and kissing his ear. As soon as she was sure he was into it, she took the earlobe in-between her teeth....and bit as hard as she could.

Jean Luc yelled out, but his hold on her didn't lessen.

"You bitch!" He said through clenched teeth as he held his bleeding ear.

"I was going to take it easy on you, but I can see that not only do you want it rough, but violent," he raised his hand as though to strike her.

Beverly choked on the blood in her mouth, but did not flinch. She would not let him see that she was terrified of him.

However, the blow did not come as expected. Instead, he brought his arm down, and turned her over on her stomach. Although her arms were now free, he placed a knee in her back, thus effectively immobilizing her again.

She could feel him taking his shirt off, then start on the pants. *Oh God, he's not going to...is he?*

For the first time since this began, the terror came through as she spoke, "Jean Luc...please, please don't do this...I've never...please...".

Again, an evil laugh erupted from him. He roughly grabbed her ass, slid a finger in between the crack, but not all the way in. "I must admit that you do have a lovely ass Doctor, and it defiantly is a tempting thought. But I think the first time should be, well, shall we say, a little more 'traditional'."

Beverly was almost relieved that he wasn't going to violate her that way, but the relief was short lived as she felt him move between her legs. He was still going to violate her, and there was nothing she could do about it.

She could feel him poised at her entrance, and felt his breath by her ear.

"Just relax, Beverly," he said as he began to push into her.

Beverly tried to relax her muscles to minimize the damage, but he was big. Bigger than any man she had before. Before she knew it, he was all the way in. He filled her completely.

He stopped there to let her get used to the feel, "Oh Beverly, I've never had a woman fit me like you do."

He grabbed her by the hips, and started to move. Slowly at first, to allow her body time to catch up to him, then with increasing speed. Before she knew it, he was slamming in and out of her with so much force it was causing her small breasts to slap against her chest.

*This will all be over soon. He'll leave, then...then. Then what? Oh God* Beverly thought as tears streamed from her eyes.

Jean Luc had reached down between her legs, and started to rub her clit. He had slowed his once powerful thrusts to be in time with the calculated rubbing he was doing.

He was kissing the side of her neck, "I can feel you starting to enjoy this. Your juices are running down me. Say it, Beverly. I know you love me."

Beverly tried to stop her body from reacting to his actions, but she couldn't. Somewhere deep inside her, she had wanted Jean Luc Picard with a ferocity that scared her. And although she realized this wasn't right, that something was not right, she couldn't help but react to the man who was inside her now. She cursed her body for its betrayal.

Her body started to shake, she could feel an orgasm started to take hold of her as she involuntarily clenched her vaginal muscles.

Jean Luc felt her, and started to increase his ministrations. "Say it, Beverly," he whispered hoarsely in her ear.

Beverly tried to stop it, but the orgasm started to envelope her. And with a last rational thought she said, "I love you."

Her words, her tightness clenching around him, he thrust as far as he could, and released his passion into her.

"Commander," Data said as he turned from his position at the science center on the upper level. "I believe I have found the cause of the anomalous reading."

Riker stood, and walked over to the android," And..."

Data cocked his head to the side as if he were considering the situation. "The Theta band anomaly is being caused by a cloaked ship"

"A cloaked ship! Where?" Riker said with some alarm.

"It seems that there is a small ship attached to the saucer section of the Enterprise?"

"How long has it been there, and how do we get rid of it?" Riker asked.

"I am not sure how long the ship has been there, but I do know how we can dislodge it," Data answered as he turned back to his display.

Data brought up a computerized view of the Enterprise's exterior hull. A very small section was outlined, indicating the position of the cloaked ship. Data punched in some codes while he started to explain his plan, "If we positively charge the hull of the ship using the forward deflector array, it will cause the ships cloak to falter momentarily. This would enable us to beam the ship onto the shuttlebay."

"Riker to Picard." Riker waited a few seconds, then tried again.

"Riker to Captain Picard." Still no answer.

"Computer...location of Captain Picard?"

"...Captain Picard is in his assigned quarters."

Riker turned and headed for the turbolift as he barked out instructions. "Data, I want you to take care of our little hitchhiker while I see what's going on with the Captain. Riker to Security, have a team meet me at the Captain's quarters immediately."

Before the lift doors closed on the determined face of the first officer he issued one last demand, "I'll be expecting your report as soon as you find out anything."

"Of course, Sir," Data replied.

Jean Luc Picard paced the floor of his cabin. Back and forth, back and forth....thoughts, dark thoughts, ran through his mind as though stuck in a loop. A loop he couldn't break.

*She wanted it...she's always wanted it. She wouldn't say anything because she liked it. She had said it at last. But still...*

He absently rubbed his hand over his head when his finger scraped across the his ear. He jerked his hand away as a jolt of pain ignited his nerves. She had bit that ear.

He walked over to his desk, unlocked the bottom drawer, and withdrew his secret stash of medical equipment. Wouldn't do for the Captain of the Federation flagship to go running to sickbay every time he incurred a slight injury.

Picking up a dermal regenerator, he went to run it over the incriminating injury when a chime at the door momentarily interrupted him. Distracted he called, "Come."

The door opened on Riker, "Captain?," he called tentatively as he came through the door, followed by the security detail.

Jean Luc Picard was confused by the appearance of his first officer, but his confusion turned to anger as he saw the security people at his back. It was all too clear why he was here. Beverly had told!

"Whatever she told you, it's a lie" the captain said as he took a step forward.

Riker backed up minutely at his approach. The cold ferocity of his voice stunned the first officer, not to mention the seemingly incongruous statement he uttered. "Sir, we have a situ..."

Captain Picard cut him off as he took a few steps closer, "We have nothing Commander. There is no problem here. Is that understood?"

Now Riker was completely confused. He looked closely at the figure of his commanding officer as he stood there when he noticed the dried blood on the side of his face. Moving closer, he held out his hand to point out the injury. That's when things went from confusing to downright insane.

For the second time that night, Beverly Crusher was once again in a hot shower. Only this time, she was crying almost to the point of hysteria. Warm tears and hot water mixed on their way down her body as she scrubbed her skin raw trying to get clean.

A sob choked in her throat as she thought about what happened. *What am I going to do? What am I going to say? It's not as if I didn't want it...is it? It's not as though he...No, he would never do that. We're friends...More than friends really. He just did what I've always wanted him...No, that can't be right. I'm just so...Oh God!*

She sank down to the floor of her shower, weak, exhausted, and inconsolable. Nothing would ever be the same again. Nothing.

Some time later, Beverly managed to pull herself together. She sat on her couch, wrapped in her bathrobe, staring at nothing in particular. Trying not to think, for thinking was not exactly a good thing right now. What she need was now was work. A nice medical emergency would help her forget...

"Riker to Doctor Crusher. Medical emergency in the Captain's quarters!"

Crusher was already up and moving as she heard the medical emergency part, but halted at the mention of where. She was immobilized with fear.

"Riker to Doctor Crusher?"

The second insistent call brought her back to the reality of her situation. Despite what had happened, she was still the chief medical officer, and she would act accordingly.

"I'm on my way Will," she said as she started to get dressed.

Beverly Crusher moved swiftly through the halls of the Enterprise. She knew where she was going. Hell, she could probably make her way there blindfolded. In a way, that's exactly what she was doing now. Her mind was not focused on the reality of now, but on the nightmare the had occurred earlier.

She stopped in front of the door. The door that would bring her face to face with the villain from her nightmare. She hesitated before activating the proximity sensor. *I can't do this. I'll call Selar. She can...*

That's when she heard the unmistakable whine of a Starfleet issue phaser. Making a decision, as if she really had a choice in the matter all along, Dr. Crusher set her shoulders and entered the Captain's quarters.

Data eyed the one man ship critically after it was beamed onto the shuttle bay deck. He estimated it to be barely large enough for one humanoid life form.

Geordi LaForge was already scanning the small vessel trying to determine its origins. Any type of external clue as to why it was here.

Data approached the side of the craft where the entrance was located, "Geordi, do you detect any life forms on board?"

The chief engineer consulted his tricorder, "I can't really get a clear reading from the inside of the ship. It must have some sort of multi-phasic shielding. We're going to have to open it up, and see."

As per Geordi's instruction, the android opened a side panel on the craft, and activated the door mechanism. The security team that had been standing back as the senior officers made their inspection, now stepped forward with phasers drawn.

The door opened with little fanfare. It was quite dark on the inside, with only the lights from the instruments giving any illumination to the craft's interior.

Data cautiously climbed on board as Geordi called out to him, "Be careful Data, I am now reading one life form on board."

Data did not need the warning, for he could see for himself. Lying down, in what appeared to be some sort of resting place, was the crafts' occupant. It appeared to be asleep.

However, more interesting than that, was the black box that laid in the beings grasp upon it's chest. A black box that looked very similar to the one that the Captain had been studying lately.

"I can see the occupant Geordi. It appears to be in some sort of sleep. I think we should contact Commander Riker immediately."

Data moved over in the cramped interior to allow Geordi to get in. The engineer briefly looked over the crafts layout before he came to the "sleeping" figure. Seeing the black box, he understood.

"I think you may be right Data."

The scene that greeted Beverly as the door opened was surreal. Not that it surprised her, it's like this whole evening had been a figment of a warped imagination.

Stopping at the threshold of the Captain's quarters, the chief medical officer quickly assessed the situation. Two security people, phasers drawn, standing over an apparently unconscious Captain, and a first officer with some sort of penetration wound in the upper gastric area.

Triage protocol determined that the more severe injury be looked at first, so Dr. Crusher moved to the side of Riker.

Riker weakly tried to wave her off, "No, I'm alright. Look at the Captain."

Beverly ran her tricorder over him, "I'll decide who is alright Will Riker. Now just lay back, and let me do my job."

Riker opened his mouth to protest, but the sound never left his throat. Dr. Crusher injected him with a sedative just as the rest of her medical team arrived.

Beverly spotted her nurse, "Alyssa, take Cmdr. Riker and prep him for surgery. He has severe bleeding in the medial and lateral hepatic lobes."

Alyssa started to carry out her orders when she looked back at Dr. Crusher, "What about the Captain?"

Beverly looked down at the prone form, and quickly scanned him. "He appears only to be stunned. Have Dr. Selar do the surgery on the Commander. I'll be in sickbay as soon as I straighten this out."

"Yes, sir." Alyssa said as she led the first officer out on an anti-grav bed.

Dr. Crusher then turned to the two security people, "Explain."

They nervously looked at each other before the higher ranking one stepped forward. She was a small female with dark hair and dark eyes, and she showed no fear as she began her explanation to the CMO.

"Sir, we were called here by Cmdr. Riker approximately 10 minutes ago. The first officer explained that he had been unable to raise the captain even though the computer placed him in his quarters. Fearing an injury to the captain, the first officer came to investigate. Upon entering the quarters of the Captain, Cmdr. Riker attempted to explain, but the Captain did not let him. It was almost as if..." she trailed off, not knowing how to say it.

Crusher looked at the her, "As if what Lieutenant..."

The younger officer licked her lips nervously, "Well sir, he was quite..he seemed...the Captain seemed very irrational or confused. I can't really explain it. He said something about "whatever she told you was a lie". I didn't understand. I don't think Cmdr. Riker understood either. The next thing I know, Captain Picard attacked Cmdr. Riker. I didn't know what was happening, but the Commander ordered us to stun the Captain. So, uh...we did."

Dr. Crusher's mind was reeling. First he attacks her, then Will. Something was definitely wrong. That's when a question popped into her mind.

"I see. So, when was the Commander stabbed?" Crusher asked.

The Lieutenant looked up from where she was studying a interesting piece of carpet, "When I stunned the Captain, I used the lowest setting possible. Cmdr. Riker had just called you when the Captain lunged at him with this."

She handed Crusher what appeared to be the antique letter opener Picard kept on his desk. Now it was covered in the blood of the first officer.

Crusher turned it over in her hands when she heard a moan from the direction of where the captain was laying. The security people immediately lifted their phasers.

Dr. Crusher took out a hypo, and set it. Bending down, she released the contents intothe neck of the Captain. Or what appeared to be the captain.

Turning back to the remaining medical people who waited nervously by the door, "Take Captain Picard to sickbay. Make sure he stays restrained and sedated until I get there."

She turned towards the security people, "Make sure there are people posted in sickbay."

They went to turn away, when the dark haired Lt. turned back to her, "Sir?"

Dr. Crusher looked at her, "Yes?"

"We did the right thing didn't we?" the Lt. asked her tentatively.

Crusher softened her look somewhat for the young woman, "Yes, you did the right thing."

She nodded curtly at the doctor, and left to do her duty.

Dr. Crusher was on her way to sickbay when Data called her, "Data to Dr. Crusher."

Crusher slapped her comm badge, "Go ahead Data."

"Doctor, could you please come down to the shuttle bay. There is something here you should see."

Beverly let out a sigh, "I'm sorry Data, but the Captain and Cmdr. Riker are in sick bay right now, and I'm needed there."

"I realize that doctor. However, we have found something that may be the cause of their current conditions."

"I'm on my way Data."

Beverly Crusher arrived at the shuttle bay just as they were escorting the ship's occupant to the brig.

"What did you want me to see Data?" Crusher asked, trying to ignore the stare of the alien.

Data held up the black box, "This doctor. We found it in the possession of this man. I believe he is a Traxan, although he will not confirm this, nor give us his name. This box looks similar..."

The CMO cut him off, "...to the one Captain Picard brought back with him. Yes, Data. I can see that."

Crusher turned to the Traxan, "What does this have to do with Captain Picard? What have you been doing to him?"

The Traxan gave her an oily grin that made her skin crawl, "I have done nothing my dear Doctor."

Beverly blanched at the last part of his statement. The inflection he used sounded like...She must be mistaken.

"Who are you?" she asked quietly.

Again he affected his disconcerting smile. It was like he knew, "Does that really matter now Beverly? Why aren't you tending to your beloved Captain instead here doing the job of the security officer? You are the doctor on board this ship, aren't you? But we know why you'd rather be here than in sickbay with him."

The Traxan leaned over and in a pseudo whisper, "It'll be out little secret."

Disgusted she waved a hand to the security men, "Get him out of my sight."

Data and Geordi looked at Dr. Crusher curiously. However, it was Geordi who asked, "What was that all about, Doc?"

Dr. Crusher turned away to go to sick bay, "I don't know".

She lied.

Beverly Crusher sat at her desk trying to focus her mind on the paperwork before her, but she just couldn't seem to concentrate. No matter how hard she tried.

Her mind wandered back to the incident that happened earlier. She was sure the Traxan had something to do with Jean Luc's behavior, but she couldn't make the connection.

Little was known about the Traxan species save that they were strongly telepathic. There was not even a mention of the location of their home world in any Federation database.

She let out an exasperated sigh, and ran her hands through her auburn hair.

"You need some rest," Deanna Troi said from the doorway to her office.

Beverly looked up at the concerned face of her friend, and threw every mental block she knew of so as not to be read. *No one must ever know what really happened.*

Ignoring her friends concern, "What did you find out?"

Now it was Troi's turn to look exhausted. "I have been down in security for 3 hours trying to figure out just what he was up to. He said nothing relevant, and I couldn't read anything definite from him."

Crusher considered this. "You said he revealed nothing relevant. What did he say?"

Deanna considered what to say, the Traxan had disconcerted Deanna to the point that she had to leave. He never came right out and said it, but the innuendo he issued as he evaded her questions made her uneasy. It...scared her. In the end, she decided not to be specific with her friend until she could figure out why she felt that way.

"Well, basically he just commented on the "sexy, red haired doctor". Plus some other rather rude things. He was trying to divert my questions is all."

Deanna saw some color drain out of her friends face, but couldn't sense her thoughts. The doctor could block her emotions better than a Vulcan when she wanted to.

Deanna put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Beverly, what is it?"

The doctor shied away from the comforting touch of her friend. The concern in Deanna's voice almost made her crumble. "Nothing. I'm just...worried. That's all."

Deanna acknowledged her friends evasion tactic, and decided to let it drop. For now. She decided to change the subject, "I looked in on Will and the Captain before. When will they be conscious?"

Beverly turned around, "Will was up after surgery, but I had to convince him he needed to stay overnight in sickbay."

Deanna smiled at this, "Yes, I can imagine. How's the Captain?"

Now Deanna did feel something. It was swift, and cut through her mind causing her vision to cloud over. It took her a moment to realize that Beverly was talking.

"...sedated, and I've been waiting until you were ready to see him," she finished.

Deanna's eyes widened slightly, "You've kept him sedated the whole time?"

Crusher reddened slightly at the Counselor's question. Technically, she could have awakened him once he was in sick bay. The only thing that was physically wrong with him were the residual effects of the stun blasts.

However, to tell the truth, which of course she was not going to do, Beverly didn't want to face the Captain. She didn't know if she could ever face him again. Better to avoid it. So, once again that evening, she lied.

"I thought it might be better to keep him under until you were here. His actions have been erratic at best, and there's no telling what the Traxan has been doing to him," Beverly finished.

Deanna accepted the doctor's explanation, but she was sure there was more to it. Deanna was still trying to process what she felt earlier from the red head at the mention of the Captain's name. It was like a bolt of anger and...fear.

Deanna would have to talk to Beverly later. Now, it was time to tend to the Captain. "Well, no time like the present. Let's go wake him up."

Deanna moved to go out of the office, followed by Beverly. As they neared the Captain's bed, Crusher realized that it would be impossible to go near him. In his cabin earlier it had been different, she was the only one there. Now, there were plenty of medical personnel around to do it.

Fending off the panic that started to cause her nervous system to explode, she called Alyssa over. "Alyssa? Would you please revive the Captain for Counselor Troi? I have to check on Cmdr. Riker."

With that she quickly moved over to the first officer's biobed, ignoring the confused looks of Deanna and Alyssa.

Data examined both black boxes carefully. At first glance, they seemed identical. Analysis with the tricorder revealed them to have the exact dimensions, and weight. Further examination of the symbols located on the surfaces revealed the only difference.

As the android examined and catalogued the six surfaces of each box, he noted one set of symbols that differed between the two.

"Curious," he stated out loud. Although no one but Spot was there to hear him.

Something about the symbols that differed reminded him of something similar. He accessed the library database to investigate his "hunch".

42 seconds later he found what he was looking for. "Interesting."

Spot looked lazily up from where he was stretched out on Data's desk. Data reached down to stroke the feline before leaving to make his report.

Alyssa released the hypo into the Captain's neck. It took affect immediately, and his eyelids started to flutter. He opened them completely to find the concerned face of Deanna Troi looking at him.

Jean Luc Picard looked around to assess his situation. He was apparently in sickbay, but how or why he was here he hadn't a clue.

"How did I get here?" He asked the most obvious question.

Deanna sensed the Captain's confusion, "Captain, what is the last thing you remember?"

"I was...No, I was.." he frowned as he tried to recall his last clear memory. It seemed that all there was a jumble of mismatched images and sensations. He felt much like one does when they wake of from some intense dream, but can't recall what the dream was about.

"I'm sorry counselor, but I'm not really sure. I'd have to say the last thing I remember would be coming back from leave...yesterday?" He asked.

Deanna Troi sighed, and laid a hand on his shoulder, "That was over a week ago, Sir."

He sat up fast, "What! That's not possible."

She waited until he absorbed the last bit before continuing, "Captain, we're not quite sure how or why, but we think you have been under the influence of a member of a telepathic race. We just recently discovered a cloaked ship attached to the Enterprise. When we beamed it aboard, we discovered the occupant to be a Traxan with a black box in its possession."

He looked up at that, "A black box?"

"Yes, Sir. From the looks of it, it appears to be identical to the box you brought back with you."

"Almost identical Counselor. Not quite." Data said as he entered sick bay, and came to stand by the Captain's bed.

The second officer made his way to the captain's side, and handed him one of the two boxes he held. "As you can see, Sir, the boxes appear to be identical. The one you are holding now is the one you brought back from the conference on Atura IV."

Data looked down at the box he was holding, and turned it over, presenting a specific side to his audience. "This box is the one we recovered from the Traxan. All the panels are identical to the one that you hold now except for this one."

Picard took the box from Data's hand to inspect it. He could plainly see the difference.

"These markings are Vulcan", he commented.

"Yes, Sir. And the box you found at the conference has Romulan markings. That is what reminded me of a similar object."

"The negative thought amplicator. But Data, that was destroyed by the Vulcan government," Picard stated.

(Note: the negative thought amplicator was from the episode Gambit I&II)

"I realize that, Sir. However, in Vulcan archives on the subject, there is reference to several of these types of objects. Not all of which have been accounted for. I surmise that these are just two more such psionic devices which properties are unknown."

Deanna interjected, "Well, we may not know exactly what the boxes do, but the Captain has no memory for the past week. I think we should start by finding out what happened during that time, and what the Traxan has to do with it."

Data cocked his head feigning interest in the counselors' remarks. Despite her rank, Data generally found her input irrelevant. He wondered if the other senior officers had similar thoughts.

However, she actually made a valid point this time. "You are correct counselor. Sir, your ships and personal logs might be of some help in finding out what has occurred during the past week."

Dr. Crusher had been listening to the conversation at the next bed while making herself look busy with Riker. At Data's suggestion, she felt her heart squeeze and the blood drain out of her face. *He wouldn't have put it in his personal logs? Would he? I can't take that chance.*

She made her decision as she walked to the side of the Captain's bed. Disguising her motive with medical concern, "The Captain has not been released from sick bay yet..."

The Captain made as if to move from the bed, "Doctor..."

She went to place a hand on his shoulder, but took it back before she made contact with him. "I'm still the chief medical officer here, and we still need to run some more tests on you. Who knows what has been going on. I need to make sure you're all right."

"Beverly, I feel fine. I need to do this," he implored.

She usually relented to him when her gave her that look, but not this time. "No."

She could see he was confused by her refusal, and to stem off any unwanted queries, "Tell you what, I'll look through the entries while you undergo a full physical and psychological evaluation."

He groaned inwardly, those tests would take hours, but he could tell by her face that was her final offer. A movement at the next bed caught his attention. He looked over to see his first officer.

"What happened to Cmdr. Riker?" he asked.

Beverly looked to Deanna who nodded her head.

The CMO swallowed, "Will is recovering from surgery to repair laceration to the medial and lateral hepatic lobes. He should be up and about in no time."

The Captain looked at the red haired doctor, there was something she wasn't saying. "And exactly how did this injury occur?"

Beverly looked straight ahead, "A metal object penetrated his upper gastric area."

"And..." he prompted.

She sighed, and looked him in the eye, "You stabbed him."

The Captain sunk back down on the bed. "I don't remember," he said softly.

Everyone around the bed was quiet. The Captain looked over to the first officer, then at each of the people around him. "Counselor, I want you to find out as much as you can about this Traxan. Why is he here, and what are those boxes used for. Doctor, you have my permission to access my logs for the last week. See if there's any clue as to my activities during that time. Data, you are in command until I am released from sick bay."

They all turned to carry out their orders, but Picard laid a staying hand on the arm of his CMO, "Beverly..."

She shrugged of his touch, "What is it Captain? I have a lot of work to do?"

Beverly was harsh and abrupt, but she didn't really care. The heat from his touch made her remember. And right now, that was the last thing she wanted to do.

Jean Luc let her arm go, "I'm sorry Doctor. I just...never mind. Let me know what you find."

He watched her retreating form, and wondered what had caused her to react like that. Maybe she was just tired. She looked tired. Hell, he was tired. He laid down on the bed, and placed an arm over his eyes to block out the light. He was trying to remember something from the past weeks. Anything that would shed a clue. But the exercise just exhausted him even more. And without realizing it, he fell into a deep sleep.

Beverly could have accessed the logs from the computer in her officer, but sick bay had too many interruptions. Not to mention, someone could come in at any time and see what she was working on.

So, now here she was, outside the Captain's quarters. There were sure to be no disturbances here. She had briefly considered her own quarters, but the recent memory of what had occurred there made it an unappealing option.

She walked in, and stopped to let the doors close behind her. She breathed in deep. Still the same. It still smelled like him. His cologne mixed with his scent. For some reason, she thought it would be different.

Shaking off the thought, she walked over and sat down at his desk. She was here for a reason, and she didn't have a lot of time to get through weeks worth of logs. A complete physical and psychological evaluation would take 3 maybe 4 hours.

"Computer...access Captain Picard's personal logs, Stardate xxxx.x. Authorization Crusher Beta 1 2 alpha."

He was where he always wanted to be. He was in her, and she was as warm and tight around him as he thrust into her. She said she loved him as he came into her.

Then he was out of his body, looking down at her and him. He saw as he withdrew himself from her. And instead of pulling her into his arms, he saw himself roughly turn her over with his foot onto her back.

He wanted to scream at what he saw. She was crying, and there was blood at the corner of her mouth. He saw his nightmare self lean down and roughly grab her by the chin.

What's he saying? I can't hear. Beverly! It's not me. That's not me. I would never...

"Captain...Captain Picard, wake up," Dr. Selar shook his shoulder.

Picard was instantly awake. He looked at Selar, slightly confused by her presence. "Yes?"

The Vulcan doctor studied him a moment before continuing, "Dr. Crusher ordered a complete physical. I'm here to perform it."

The Captain ran a hand over his smooth scalp in an attempt to wipe away the last vestiges of the disturbing dream, more like nightmare, away. "Yes, of course. Let's get this over with."

Beverly Crusher bit her bottom lip as she read the next to last entry in the Captain's personal logs. She had switched to written form because she just couldn't bare to watch the man that she had known for over 25 years talk with a voice that was distinctly his, but say things that were not.

"....thinks she can just come in here whenever she wants to, have dinner, drinks...then a goodnight kiss like I was her brother! Well, not tonight. Not anymore."

End entry, stardate xxxx.x, 2110.

Beverly ran a hand through her hair, and pushed herself up. *One more entry to go. Please, please don't have said anything about...*

She walked over to the replicator, "Lemon tea. No, cancel that"

She walked over to a cabinet where she knew the Captain kept the real stuff. Opening it, she looked briefly at the offerings before she chose a bottle of scotch. She poured some in a glass, and gulped down the contents. She barely felt the burn of the liquid as it made its way down her throat before she poured another one, and went to sit back down in front of the console.

"Computer, display final log entry."

She took one more drink, as if the action would bolster her courage, then began to read. *Oh no...*

Captain Picard finished putting on his uniform tunic, "Am I free to go?"

Dr. Selar raised an eyebrow, "Both the physical and psychological examination showed no significant deviation from your last results. So, yes, you are free to go."

Picard inclined his head slightly, and headed out of sickbay.

*There, that should do it for main computer memory. Now, All I have to do is erase the original byte signatures in the back-up core, and that last log entry is gone forever.* Sometimes having a genius son (pain in the ass though he was) could be an asset.

As she was making to complete her task, the doors to the Captain's quarters opened.

"Dr. Crusher?" the Captain said.

With a few deft movements on the console, Dr. Crusher called up the log entries (minus one).

"Captain. I hope you don't mind, but I thought it would be easier to go over your personal entries from here," she said to explain her presence in his room.

*Damn! I thought Selar would take a little longer," Beverly thought.

"No, I don't mind," he said as he walked over to stand behind her.

Beverly felt the heat of his breath on the back of her neck as he asked her, "What have you found out?"

Her body suddenly started to shake. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be here, near him, and not think of what he did. She was a fool to think it could be done.

She stood up abruptly, inadvertently touching him as she made to escape. The action made her skin tingle. "I'm sorry Captain. I...I have to go."

Before she was out of reach, he put a hand on her arm to halt her progress, "Beverly, what's wrong?"

She attempted to pull her arm away, out from under the touch that burned her. "Let go of me!"

Instead of complying with her demand, he grabbed her other arm and pulled her closer to him. "Beverly, I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's wrong. It's me, Jean Luc...your friend."

With all the strength she could muster, she twisted out of his grasp, "Is it really? I just don't know anymore."

And with that statement, she turned and left without a further word. What else was there to say?

Jean Luc Picard stared at the cool gray of the doors for a few seconds after they closed on the retreating back of his best friend. *What the hell happened this past week?*

Determined to find out, he went to his desk to read the log entries for himself. As he started to read the first entry, he picked up the glass she had left there. He sniffed the contents absently, and lifted his brow in surprise.

Drinking alcohol, although not unknown of, was something he never saw Beverly do by herself. The only time he could remember such an occasion was when Jack died.

Beverly used every last bit of reserve she had not to run from the Captain's quarters. Not to run from him. She walked blindly until she realized she was in a turbolift, and it was waiting for her to state a destination.

"Deck 12."

She didn't know why she said it, but realized after a moment that main security was on that deck. And main security meant the brig. She was going to see the Traxan.

The young ensign on duty perked up at the approach of the CMO, "What can I do for you Dr. Crusher?"

"I'm here to run some tests on the Traxan. Where is he?" She asked, hoping her request sounded normal.

The ensign frowned slightly.

"Is there a problem Ensign?" She purposely used his rank with a tone of voice she had learned from the Captain. It usually worked.

The young man blinked, "Ah no, there's no problem, Doctor. It's just that when Counselor Troi was in there with him she didn't get much "cooperation". Apparently, he can be rather difficult. I just thought I'd warn you."

He walked out from behind the desk and led her back to the cell. "There he is," he gestured toward the cell.

Dr. Crusher looked at the Traxan who had sat up on his bunk, and was smiling at her. "Deactivate the force field Ensign."

"Doctor?"

She turned, and gave him one of her looks, "How else am I going to examine him?"

He stammered, embarrassed at not realizing the obvious, "Of course, Doctor. However, I will be monitoring you from out here. Just in case..."

She tapped her foot slightly as he deactivated the barrier. She walked through, and stopped as she heard the field being turned back on.

The Traxan stood, and smiled that feral grin of his. She could see the points on some of his teeth. Not like a Ferengi or Klingon. More like...like a predator of some sort. He was also tall...2.3, maybe 2.4 meters, but he was very thin. He had straight black hair which hung down over the cavernous features of his face. But his eyes were what drew the Doctor's attention. They were as black as space with not a trace of white in them.

He took a small step forward, "Beverly..."

She gasped as though physically touched. The way he said her name, the sound, the tone, the accent. If she had not been looking directly at him, she would have mistaken his voice for Jean Luc Picards'.

"Don't do that!" she hissed.

He took another small step, "Do what?" he asked, pretending innocence.

She looked directly in his eyes, and it almost made her physically ill. "Who are you?" she asked.

He laughed lightly, a sound that she found incongruous with his appearance, "Ah, my dear Doctor, now that seems to be the question now, doesn't it?"

He was taking control of this encounter she realized. And the last thing she wanted was to lose control. Again. Falling back to what she knew, and her stated reason for being there, she opened her medical tricorder, and began to scan him.

He shook his head from side to side, "Tsk, tsk, my dear. You already know what that thing will tell you, but it's not what you really want to know. Now is it?"

She lowered her instrument, and looked up at him again. However, this time his eyes did not cause her stomach to react. "And what exactly is it I want to know?"

The Traxan sat down on the bunk, then eased his long frame back against the wall before he answered. "Why he did it, of course."

"....avoiding me. It's been days since we arrived here. All the colonists should be taken care of, but yet do I see her for breakfast? Does she take time to call me? No. Nothing. It's almost as bad as when she and Jack..."

"Computer, end playback."

Jean Luc Picard rose from his desk, and paced the room. He had listened to several personal logs, and had it not been for his face and his voice, he would never had recognized the person. He remembered none of it.

He had gone over the official logs first, but that didn't take very long. Apparently, he had thrust most of the command duties onto Riker for the past week, so there were only a few of those.

However, there were numerous personal logs. And the latest one was just another in the same theme as the rest: Beverly Crusher.

The first few logs had been about the black box, and his study of it. Then the logs took a turn. They were about Beverly. What she wore, what she smelled like, and what she did to him.

It was the most difficult thing he ever had to listen too. It was like listening to a truth you had hidden from yourself, but with part of that truth twisted.

Some of the things he said in the logs were exactly how he felt or viewed Beverly Crusher. Her beautiful red hair, and how it flowed about her. The blue of her eyes, and how it deepened or lightened depending on her mood. The smell of her. How it softly enveloped him before he even knew it as they sat at staff meetings, or talking over morning coffee.

But there was a twist to the logs. Things he definitely didn't think. He never thought of her as a "tease". Wary of starting an intimate relationship, maybe, but not a tease.

He sat back down at the computer to view the rest of the logs when the communicator chirped, "Security to Captain Picard."

"Picard here."

"Sir, this is Ensign Tanson down in Security. We've had a bit of an..incident."

"What sort of incident Ensign?" Picard asked.

There was a moment of silence, "It's the Traxan, Sir. He's dead."

The captain stood up immediately, "I'm on my way."

Picard entered security, and caught sight of his second officer. Data walked towards him.

"What happened Mr. Data?" he asked.

"The Traxan was killed by Dr. Crusher. Apparently in self defense," Data stated.

The Captain looked up, alarmed. "Is Dr. Crusher alright?"

"Besides a few minor injuries, the Doctor is physically fine. Counselor Troi took her to sickbay a few minutes ago to get her checked out."

The Captain looked at the Ensign who came up to them, "What happened here Ensign..." Picard indicated to him.

"Tanson, Sir."

"Ensign Tanson?"

The young man swallowed to compose himself before speaking to the Captain, "Sir, Dr. Crusher came in here about a half hour ago to do some tests on the prisoner. She requested to be let into the cell, and I monitored them from the security station. She was scanning him, and I looked away from the monitor to perform routine security checks. When I looked back, I saw the Doctor struggling with the prisoner. I ran back to the cell, and when I got there, he was...he was already dead, Sir."

Just then, Dr. Selar came out. The body floated by on a anti-grav stretcher with some technicians guiding it.

The Captain asked, "How did he die?"

The Vulcan doctor stopped, "Cause of death was severe cerebral hemorrhaging."

The Captain sighed. Sometimes Vulcans could be so literal, "And how did that happen?"

"The bones in his nasal septum were explosively shattered into his cranium tearing several blood vessels along the way."

*Hmmm...can't get much more literal than that,* Picard thought.

Data interjected, "If you will allow me, Sir, I believe the technique is known as kle'quo. It's a Klingon defense maneuver used against a stronger opponent."

The Captain absorbed the information before taking action, "Doctor, I'll expect a full autopsy report as soon as possible."

The Vulcan nodded, "Of course, Captain."

The Captain then turned to the Ensign, "Have you looked at the recording from the security cell?"

"No, Sir," he answered.

"I want the recording plus a full report submitted to Lt. Cmdr. Data within the hour."

The Captain was interrupted, "I believe that's my job, Sir."

Picard turned to see the large frame of his First Officer. The Captain didn't let the smile reach his lips, but it could be seen in his eyes. "Of course it is. Ensign, you will deliver the video and your report to Cmdr. Riker."

The ensign straightened, "Yes, Sir."

The Captain waited until he left before he proceeded, "How are you feeling, Will?"

The First Officer patted his gut and grinned, "Never better, thanks to some fancy work by some of Starfleet's finest."

Picard frowned slightly, and lowered his voice, "Look Will, I'm sorry about..."

Riker raised his hand, "Forget it."

Picard smiled, "I believe that is part of the problem, Will."

Beverly sat on the couch in Deanna's quarters. She had stayed in sickbay just long enough to allow a cursory examination, and didn't even permit Dr. Landers to take care of the contusions on her neck.

She could feel them right now. His hands around her neck, his putrid breath assailing her nose, his mind showing her...showing her everything.

She didn't believe...couldn't believe it. Jean Luc Picard didn't feel that way about her. She knew he was hurt by her rejection of him after Kes Prytt, but she couldn't believe he was so embittered by it that he...hated her.

The Traxan showed her. Let her feel what he felt...the jealousy of Jack, and Odan...his sadness and disappointment after Kes Prytt, his rage at her for abandoning him in favor of Ronin, then his final descent into hate and loathing of her for keeping the status quo in their stagnant friendship.

She placed her face in her hands to keep the sob from escaping her chest, *Oh Jean Luc. Why?*

"Beverly..." Deanna asked softly as she returned from the replicator with some tea.

Beverly took the proffered tea without making eye contact with the Betazoid. The only reason why she was here, and not in sickbay, was on the condition that she accompany the Counselor.

Deanna sat on the couch beside the Doctor, did a small mental exercise, and opened her mind to her friend.

She thought she was ready for whatever happened, but nothing could have prepared her for the almost utter despair that washed over her.

"Oh Beverly....", she said softly as she put her arm around the red head.

Beverly stiffened at the gesture of comfort. She didn't deserve it. She was a killer. She killed that Traxan for what her did to her, for what he showed her. Just as surely as she had killed Jean Luc Picard's feelings for her. She was without hope.

A tear escaped down her cheek. It was the only outward appearance of her inner turmoil. With disgust she wiped the offending liquid off her cheek before it traversed its full course.

She stood abruptly shrugging Deanna off, "I'm sorry, Counselor. I just don't have time for this right now."

She turned, and strode out. Ignoring the plea of her friend to stay and talk about it.

Deanna could swear she got a mental message loud and clear as the doors closed on the Doctor's back.

*Never!*

The Captain shifted slightly in his chair. *Where the hell was she?* He looked for her in sickbay to make sure she was okay, but other duties forced him to abandon his search.

Now, here he sat, in the conference room with all of the senior staff, save one. He looked toward Counselor Troi, but she just shrugged her shoulders. He was about to call her when the doors opened, and she walked in.

She looked at no one, and mumbled an apology for being late. Then, instead of sitting in the empty seat next to the Captain, she slumped into one of the chairs at the far end of the table.

The Captain blinked slightly at the Doctor's strange choice in seats. She almost always sat next to him in these staff meetings. And he could not recall a time when she sat so far away from everyone else as to appear isolated from them.

He cleared his throat in a effort to expel some of the uneasiness he felt, "Well, since we're all finally here," he began with a pointed look at his CMO.

She didn't acknowledge his slight reproach. In fact, she didn't look up once. She just sat there, staring at a PADD clutched in her hands on the table.

The Captain was going to ask the Doctor to explain just what had happened with the Traxan, but something about the way she held herself told him he had better start elsewhere first.

He turned towards his First Officer seated to his left, "Number One, have you had a chance to review the recordings from security?"

Will Riker pulled his gaze away from the CMO seated at the end of the table, "Yes, Sir. From what I can see, it looks like a clear cut case of self defense. Computer...display security visual 1 from time index 1031."

The visual record came up on the conference room screen. The senior staff maneuvered themselves to see the play back.

An almost audible gasp could be heard as they listened to the Traxan say Beverly's name simulating the Captain's voice perfectly.

.....Beverly: And what exactly is it I want to know?

Traxan: Why he did it, of course....

They watched in horror as the Traxan moved off the bunk faster than the Doctor could react. He grabbed her around the throat with two long, bony hands, effectively encircling her throat. The only sound that could be heard was the choking sound Dr. Crusher was making as the Traxan cut off her air supply.

Suddenly, the Doctor brought her right hand up through the opening created by the Traxans arms, and smashed him in the nose with the palm of her hand.

The Traxan made no sound at all. He just slumped to the floor. Dead.

"Computer...end play back. As you can see Sir, the Traxan attacked Dr. Crusher. It is my opinion that she did the only thing she could considering the position he had her in", Riker finished his report.

"Dr. Crusher, do you have anything to add to Cmdr. Riker's report?" Picard asked her.

She looked up slightly at the mention of her name, but still did not make eye contact, "No..."

The Captain was getting slightly frustrated with his CMO's attitude, "I'm sorry Doctor. What was that? I couldn't quite hear you."

This time, she did meet his gaze. "No, sir, I have nothing to add to Cmdr. Riker's report."

Her defiant attitude almost made Picard feel a little better. Almost. There was still the enigma of his past weeks activities, and what exactly the Traxan had to do , if any, with it.

"Counselor Troi, what were you able to find out about the Traxan?" the Captain asked the Betazoid.

Troi sighed, and indication to her current level of frustration, "Not a lot, Captain. He was very...adept at avoiding me. I couldn't read him at all emotionally. He seemed very disciplined. And in answer to any verbal question I put to him I received misleading, cryptic, and downright suggestive comments. Frankly sir, I know almost nothing about him. I do however think that he had something to do with your memory blackout for the last week. Exactly how he did it, or why, I do not know."

The Captain had steepled his hands in front of him to consider Troi's report. "I agree Counselor. I think he had something to do with my memory blackout. I've gone over my official logs for the past week, and it appears that "I" was not too busy with ships business. So, I don't think his motive was sabotage."

"Counselor, what was the nature of the Traxans comments? It might be help us determine his motive for being here," Data asked.

"I don't really think what he said could help, but I'll tell you. Most of what he answered with were comments with a sexual overtone."

"Such as..." Riker prompted.

Troi glanced at Dr. Crusher a moment before continuing, "The Traxan was apparently fascinated with our "sexy, red haired doctor", is how he put it."

Data cocked his head to the side, "That is interesting Counselor. When we first apprehended the Traxan, Dr. Crusher came to the shuttle bay. The Traxan affected an air of, I believe it is what you would call, familiarity, when he spoke to her."

"There's more," the captain said. "When I reviewed my official logs, I also went over my personal logs. There were some entries about the black box, but most of them had to do with Dr. Crusher. And Counselor, the way you said the Traxan talked about Dr. Crusher, it sounds a lot like the way I was talking in those log entries."

Through all this, Beverly still did not look up at any of the people in the room. The Captain decided it was time to get her involved. He knew she must be upset at killing the Traxan, but it was in self defense. She had nothing to feel guilty about.

"Dr. Crusher, do you have any idea why the Traxan would be so interested in you?" he asked her.

"No," short, and to the point. Keep all contact to a minimum she decided would be her modus operandi.

The Captain waited for further elaboration, but after a few seconds realized none would be forthcoming. Another tack popped into his head, "Did I do anything or say anything that you would consider out of character?"

She looked at him again, the pain momentarily flashing across her features before she wiped all emotional expression away, "No. I really didn't see you that much. I was extremely busy with all the patients from the colony down in sickbay."

The Captain looked at her a moment. He had a feeling there was something she wasn't telling him, but decided he would wait to ask her about it later. When they were alone.

"Alright people, it seems we have a little mystery to solve. The death of the Traxan just makes it a little more difficult. Mr. LaForge, I want you to run a full ships diagnostic. Mr. Data, you help Geordi. Counselor Troi, see if there is anything else you can find out about the Traxan race, and the extent of their telepathic capabilities. Cmdr. Riker, would you be kind enough to fill me in on exactly what my ship has been doing for the past week."

The First Officer smiled that broad grin of his, "Of course, sir."

The meeting was at an end, and the senior staff filed out to pursue their orders. The Captain tried to catch the eye of his CMO before she left to let her know it was okay, but she was the first one out the door. Heaving a mental sigh, he turned to hear Riker's account of the Enterprises activities for the past several days.

Beverly thrust another possession into her bag, not bothering to fold it. Everything was sure to be wrinkled when she got to...*Where the hell am I going?* she thought to herself as she paused in her packing.

 "Doesn't matter," she said with a shrug of her shoulders as she continued stuffing.

 Jean Luc Picard strode purposely through the corridors of the Enterprise. So intent on his objective, no one thought to distract him.

 *Damn her! Why does she always do this? What could be so bad she would rather leave than talk about it?*

 He paused at this thought. The information and events from the last day coalescing in his consciousness.....*The Traxans seeming obsession with Beverly....his personal logs....the sound of his voice coming from the aliens mouth....the pain in Beverly's eyes when he asked her if he had done anything...*

 Suddenly, it was right there in front of him. And although he didn't know the specifics yet. He knew that he had been made to do or say something to hurt her.

 He turned the corner and made his way to the familiar doorway. He tugged his uniform down before activating the door chime.

 Beverly jumped slightly as the chime brought her back to her surroundings. She had been so intent on her packing she was able to not think for a few minutes. What she needed was to not think at all. Ignoring the chime, she grabbed an object off her dresser. She was about to tuck it into the bag, but stopped when she recognized  it. It was a Talaysian heart mist. She lifted it carefully, and looked into its rosy, opaque surface. It started to twirl with different colors that were meant to calm, to please. Disgusted with herself for reveling in the simple beauty of it, she placed the object back on the dresser. She would not be taking that particular possession.

 "Not enough room in the bag?"

 Beverly's head jerked up at the deep baritone. There stood Picard, leaning against the doorway to her bedroom, arms crossed.

 A dose of adrenalin dumped into her system as she looked around to try and find a way out. There was none. Picard blocked the only exit. She mentally tried to put a clamp on her bodies response to the danger. This was not the Picard who had raped her. But knowing something rationally and emotionally are two different things. Instead, she took the offensive.

 "How did you get in here?" she asked, barely containing a tremor in her voice.

 Picard's eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to figure out her body language. It seemed that she was...no..she couldn't be...afraid of him?

 "I used my override. When you didn't answer I thought..."

 She cut him off, "Thought what? Did you ever stop to consider that I just didn't want to answer my door?"

 The small spark of anger in her eyes made him relax a little. At least she wasn't afraid. He pushed himself off the door, and walked over to where she had placed the Talaysian Heart Mist. He picked it up, and casually examined it.

 Ignoring her question to him he softly said, "I gave this to you."

 Alarmed by his change in position, she barley heard what he said, "Excuse me?"

 " I gave you this. When you left to go to Starfleet Medical."

 Confused by the change in the conversation, "I know. I was there when you gave it to me."

 A small smile appeared on his face at her comment. He looked up to meet her eyes, the smile leaving his face as he saw that she was not amused. He gently placed the object back on the surface of the dresser before he moved a step closer to her.

 Seeing his approach, Beverly backed up.

 Picard stopped. "Beverly?"

 She ignored the hurt look in his eyes. *How dare he be hurt! I'm not the bad guy here. I'm not the one who...* She squashed that line of thought. She would not think it.

 "Why are you here Captain?"

 He took another step towards her, but she just backed one step away. Something darkened in his eyes, "Would you stop running away, and talk to me!"

 At his next step, she turned and walked out the bedroom door. She tried not to run, but it was hard to keep a normal pace. Just as she reached the living room table, a large hand closed on her shoulder, spinning her around.

 "Dr. Crusher,"

It came so fast, he didn't even see it. His head jerked to the side, and his mouth filled with the metallic taste of his own blood. Shocked, he looked at the red head as he wiped blood from the corner of his mouth.

 "What the hell..."

 Her eyes blazed blue fury, "I told you before, DON"T touch me. Don't ever touch me again."

 She turned again, intending to make her escape.

 "Computer...Secure doors. Release on my command only. Authorization Picard alpha 1."

 Beverly stopped, but did not turn around. A wave of deja vu swept over her. She, no, they had been here before, in this situation. It was happening again. After she swore not to let it. Here he was. Here she was...trapped.

 *No! This will not happen,* her mind screamed out in protest.

 "Open the doors," she hissed through clenched teeth.

Picard took a deep breath, and reached out a hand to touch her, but halted before his fingers could make contact.

"Beverly, I'm not opening that door until we talk," he answered as he let his hand drop to his side.

Picard recoiled slightly as she rounded on him again, expecting another blow. It didn't come. At least not physically.

She looked at him, and took a small measure of glee that she could make him flinch. "Talk? Are you sure that's all you want to do this time?"

His eyes widened slightly trying to figure out what she meant. He decided to take another tact. "Beverly...please, tell me what happened. What did he...uh, I do? What happened to make you so...afraid of me?"

Her shoulders sagged under the weight of her burden. She shook her head slowly from side to side, "I can't do this...I won't. You really don't remember, do you?" She turned her head away, lest he see the weakness in her eyes as they welled up with tears.

"Remember...remember what?" he stepped up, and gently took one of her hands in his. "Beverly?"

Beverly looked at his large hand on hers. So gentle, so unlike the last time...she could never let him know what happened. But in doing so, she knew she could no longer stay on the Enterprise. Making a decision, she squeezed his hand one last time.

"I'm sorry, but this is all for the best..You can keep us locked in this room all you want, but I'm leaving as soon as we arrive at Starbase 81."

He was just about to speak when First officer interrupted, "Riker to Captain Picard"

"Picard here!" he barked at the interruption.

Riker cleared his throat slightly, "I'm sorry to disturb you sir, but you have a priority message coming in from Admiral Stopak."

"I'm on my way."

He turned and walked to Beverly who had seated herself on the couch. He bent down slightly, close enough that she could smell the distinct smell of his cologne mixed with his scent.

"This isn't over."

She just looked up at him with wide blue eyes, saying nothing. He straightened, turned on his heel calling to the computer to disengage the door lock, and left.

The doors closed on her reply, "Oh, but it is."

Picard strode onto the bridge, not slowing his stride a bit as he called out to have the call transferred to his ready room. As he sat down in his chair, he took a calming breath before he activated his console.

The familiar angular features of a Vulcan appeared before him. "Admiral Stopak," Picard said to acknowledge the superior officer.

The Admiral raised his eyebrow just a touch before he proceeded, "Captain Picard, when is the Enterprise due in at Starbase 81?"

Picard quickly checked, and replied, "At the current speed of warp 5, 23.7 hours, sir."

Stopak appeared to consider something momentarily before he spoke again. "You are hear by authorized to increase speed to warp factor 7. I will expect you in 2.1 hours."

Before the admiral could sign off, Picard asked "Sir? May I ask as to the reason why the hurry?"

Again the Vulcan considered, "Not at this time. Stopak out."

The captain stared at the blue of the Starfleet logo pondering the possibilities behind the order to hasten them to Starbase 81. Thenremembering, he activated his comm, "Captain to the bridge, increase speed to warp factor 7".

"Acknowledged," came the efficient reply of his second officer.

Picard rose and went to the replicator, his thoughts no longer on the Admirals call, but on the stubborn red head he had left not 10 minutes before.

"Tea, earl gray, hot," he ordered out of habit. Taking the steaming cup, he went back to his desk.

He didn't know exactly what had happened, but he knew something had. The way Beverly was acting, in addition to the clues she gave him by her silence said as much.

He contemplated going back down to talk to her. He'd make her tell him. Hell, he'd shake her if he thought it would help. But in the end, he knew that right now was not the time to go back there. Once she clammed up, nothing short of a sonic grenade would get  her to talk.

So, he had to look elsewhere. And the only place left was the computer, and his logs. He called up his personal logs where he had left off, taking a sip of his tea that was rapidly cooling, while he listened to the last entry.

As soon as the computer went to go to the screen that indicated that this was the last log entry, there was a slight shift in the screen. Picard blinked, *Hmmm..I've never seen that before.*

Curious, Picard accessed the main frame back-up log. He looked through the data bytes of his personal log. The last few information entries looked like they had been corrupted, but not irretrievable. With some tricks he learned from the young Mr. Crusher, Picard went about trying to restore the lost entry.

Beverly sat on her couch with her packed bags sitting by the door. She had told no one else of her plans. Well, no one except the Captain. She didn't want to have to deal with all the questions they would have about her abrupt departure. Most would probably think it was due to the death of the Traxan. Well, that would be okay with her. Better they not know the truth. She alone would bear the pain of it. She would protect them, protect him. He must never know. That was the least she could do for all the pain she had caused him over the years.

Beverly felt the well of tears threaten to fall again. She would not do this again. She deserved his hatred, his loathing. She could even understand it. How could she have expected him to love her forever. To wait for her. How could she have expected him to endure all the subtle teasing she did. Hell, she practically deserved what she got.

She wiped furiously at her eyes. Now was definitely not the time. It would be time to go soon. She made sure there would be little chance of discovery. She had already arranged transport to a ship directly from her quarters. Her, her stuff, and her memories. She hoped the transporter buffers could handle all the "baggage" she had.

She looked up anxiously as the computer informed her of their impending arrival at Starbase 81.

"Damn!" she swore.

They were much earlier than predicted when she had made her travel arrangements earlier. She quickly checked the transports schedule. Her accommodations would have to do. There were no other ships she could take that would get her out of there any earlier.

"Well, I'll just have to make myself as scarce as possible. It's a big base after all," she said as she sent a message off to the ship she would be taking.

Picard had just finished restoring the corrupted log entry, and was about to look at it, when he was interrupted by his First Officer.

"Riker to Picard"

"Go ahead Number One"

"Sir, we are about to dock at Starbase 81, you said to notify you"

Picard looked at the computer a second before he deactivated it. It would have to wait til later. Admiral Stopak would want to see him immediately.

"I'm on my way," he said as he slid his chair out from his desk, and made his way to the bridge.

As he stepped out from his ready room, Riker informed him of a message from Stopak requesting the Captains presence in his office as soon as the Enterprise was docked.

The Captain stopped in front Riker, "Number One, it seems I'll be busy for a little while. However, I just got through rebuilding one of my log entries from last week. The data was corrupted on it. Would you take a look at?"

"Of course, sir. I know where you'll be if anything interesting turns up," he smiled knowingly.

The captain grunted, as he turned around and made his way to the turbolift, and disappeared behind its closing doors.

Riker looked down at the dark haired Betazoid, "Care to join me in the Ready room?"

"I thought you'd never ask", she said as stood up to follow him.

Inside the ready room, Riker sat in the chair, Deanna at his elbow on the handrest, he called up the log entry. As he watched the "captain" on the screen, he felt Deanna stiffen.

"Oh no..." was all she could say.

Captain Picard was ushered into the Admiral office as soon as he walked through the door, "Go right in, sir. He's waiting for you", said a Ensign in the outer office.

Picard walked in and went to stand in front of the Admirals desk. Stopak looked up at his entry, and waited until he was near before he rose.

"Very punctual Captain. Please, have a seat," the tall Vulcan waved at the chair.

Picard didn't let the smile make it to his face, despite being amused by Stopaks comments. How very Vulcan they were. But, he considered, being punctual was probably pretty high praise indeed coming from a Vulcan.

Picard remained quiet. A reply wasn't necessary, and he knew enough about Vulcans to know they didn't need pleasantries. Admiral Stopak would get to the point without him asking.

As if on cue, the Vulcan reached for something by his side, and brought it up on the desk. The Captain's heart beat a little faster at the appearance of the object.

"Where did you get that, sir?" he asked as he sat forward to get a better look at it.

Stopak's eyebrows rose a little, "I was hoping you could tell me Captain Picard. It was found on a probe near the Romulan neutral zone, and brought here."

Picard looked up, "Why would I know? I have recently recovered 2 more such objects, whose function remains unknown at this time. But I have never seen one like that before. The ones I have are black in color."

Stopak picked up the blue cube, tracing a pattern etched in its surface with his finger. "Yes, I must admit I was quite surprised by its appearance. It's very old. My people have not seen one in a millennium."

Picard looked at the admiral, "What is it?"

"It is a katra memory cube. The secret of making them has been lost, along with how to make the thought amplifiers. The only thing we are able to do with the cubes we have left is to read the wave patterns of whoever used them to store memories."

Picard asked the obvious, "Why bring me here sir? Surely there are Vulcan scholars who know more than I do about such objects."

"Yes, Captain there are. But you see, the brain wave patterns on this cube belong to you. Your memories are stored on this cube."

Jean Luc Picard was momentarily stunned, "Mine? I don't understand. Unless...."

"Unless what?" Stopak asked.

Picard looked at the Admiral as he relayed the events of the last week, omitting a few references to his CMO. When he finally finished, the admiral placed the box on the desk top, and slid it across to him.

"Captain, for reason or reasons unknown to us, your memories are on this cube. Logic suggests that the memories on this cube are probably from your week of missing time. Maybe it's time you rediscovered those memories."

"I don't understand. How can I do that?" Picard asked.

"According to the little information we still possess on these objects, you should be able to access the cube. Your thought patterns will match, and it lets you in. That is really all we know. I want you to understand, I am not ordering you do this," Stopak concluded.

Picard reached for the box, "I understand, sir. But if it's all the same, I think I'd like to know what occurred during that week."

His large hand closed over the planar surface, and he was immediately thrust into his own mind...but not his. He screamed, but no one heard in the silence of his thoughts.

*Oh god....no*

As soon as the Enterprise was docked, Beverly was able to implement her plan with little fanfare. Yet again, pointers from her son on transporting undetected helped her escape tangle free.

Now, here she was, in a dingy little room on a freighter no better than a garbage scow. She really didn't care, as long as it got her to where she was going. Which was anywhere away from here, from Starfleet, the Enterprise, her memories, her guilt, her fear, her love,...him.

She broke down, and fell across the pile that was her luggage crying silent tears. Silent only because there was no one besides her to hear them.