In fact if we were to be shipped off to the South Pacific, I believe that we could survive. Tourists would travel for days just to see us in our natural environment. They’d all stand for and watch with their fancy little camcorders and their funny binoculars while we all jumped around the campfire like native tribesmen in funny little grass – skirts doing several versions of “SPOOKS…WOOOO!!!” But for you to picture that scene properly you have to come and join the social whirlpool that I prefer to call a deranged mental asylum, which I fit into quite neatly. 

Now for your own convenience, in case you ever did consider joining, I shall explain the importance of “SPOOKS…WOOOO!!!” It is a general ritual that pops up whenever someone is looking for attention, I mean whenever someone feels the need to make themselves known, no, I mean people use this ritual to direct everyone to focus on th…Never mind!!! Being a recent member of only 3 years I have absolutely no idea where this little tradition came from (They’ve warped me, can you tell?) But I can help you with the general gist of the thing, so you can all go and tell your friends. (Of course they won’t know what you’re on about and you will probably end up on our small island in the South Pacific too!) Anyways, it is relatively simple – unless your name is Mark McKinley, in which case you might want to apply for extra tuition.

The basic theory is that whenever a person shouts, “SPOOKS!” the immediate reaction of everyone in the area should be to reply with “WOO!!” Let’s try……………You’ll probably find that this doesn’t work because you are being a sad loner at this point, on the computer surfing the net (Just take time to ask yourself why you’re on THIS particular site…Hmmmm). But in theory of course, it works you could always take a trip to the seniors group and try it on them for a guaranteed response!!!! 

Now if you feel you are ready, I will take you to the next step, or as some prefer to call it, the advanced course (oooh Very smart). The main idea remains the same, only this time other phrases can be added in front of or behind of “SPOOKS!” You can also multiply the number of “SPOOKS!” used. A perfect example of this, which is used regularly, is “CHUGGA CHUGGA SPOOKS SPOOKS!!”  To which the reply would be “CHUGGA CHUGGA WOO WOO!!” a favourite of ours is “DANIEL’S A SPOOKILY MAMMOTH!” the reply being “DANIEL’S A WOOLY MAMMOTH!” Unfortunately due to a surprise incident with a razor blade causing his fluffy beard to be removed this one has, like the mammoth, become extinct.

 I hope I’ve enlightened you as to the “what the hell is all this about?” questions you have buzzing about your head. Before logging off our site, please sign our guest book, also take time to relax and reassure yourself that you are safe and that the world is fine and we probably have no chance in hell of reaching you, so long as you don’t venture too close to the theatre. Mwahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Happy nightmares and thanks for reading.

"Shortly after writing this article, Leanne was put into a straight Jacket and sent to that small Island in the South Pacific"