10 july 1999
10:43am
a pathetic existance?

well. well well well. it's been almost a month since i've written. and what is the one main difference between then and now? work. yes, roughing it. it sucks my energy. i don't want to even move when i come home. i sit. i sleep. i'm up by 5:45am and asleep by 10:30pm. i miss having a life. i miss having friends. ugh.

speaking of which, i can't wait to see david. he's coming out in august sometime. i've been missing him lately. and shawn. i had a dream last night that david and i were getting married. but the funny thing was was that i was telling everyone that "my best friend and i are getting married." no mention to boyfriend or fiance or anything like that. which i think says a lot. maybe that i just need to always have him in my life. a bit of last-year-of-college anxiety, i think. hmm. oh, but will and jess will also be here in august so the bay area will be where it's at in terms of swatties. maybe get some fun back into my life.

last night i went to see ani and maceo parker in concert. at the greek theatre in berkeley. it was an amazing show, probably the best ani concert i've seen yet. and maceo was great as usual. i just wish i would've had someone to go with. but i sold my extra ticket and got some free sake in the deal and much appreciation. which was nice. and maybe it was good for me to go to this alone. although much of the fun i have at concerts comes from having someone there with me, enjoying the music together.

well, i should get going. i'm going over to the montclair fine arts festival, just to look around. and i should go to barnes and noble, or maybe to a coffee shop in berkeley, to write shawn a letter. which i've been meaning to do for about a month now.

hopefully i'll start writing more regularly again.

11:02am