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"Where monsters rampage, I'm there to take them down. Where treasure glitters, I'm there to claim it. Where an enemy rises to face me, victory will be MINE!!!!!"
~Lina Inverse, SLAYERS

"I seriously question the sanity of somebody who uses multiple exclamation marks."

"There's a door."
"Where does it go?"
"It stays where it is, I think."
~Terry Pratchett, ERIC

For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go.
~R L Stevenson

~Death is tired of insults (Terry Pratchett, ERIC)

"How does a guy with the brains of a jellyfish know all about that time of the month?"
~Lina Inverse, SLAYERS

"Damn you! Just wait till I come back to LIFE!!!!"
~Dilgear, SLAYERS

"Oh, it's that guy who talks too much again."
~Esmeraude, on the appearance of Tuxedo Kamen (SAILORMOON)

Take the clouds from your eyes
And see me as I really am.
~Don Quixote

"Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: Did they say why, Willard? Why they wanted to terminate my command? Did they tell you?
Captain Benjamin L. Willard: They told me you had gone totally insane and, uh....., that your methods were unsound.
Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: Are my methods unsound?
Captain Benjamin L. Willard: I don't see ... any method ... at all.

"It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "The One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse."
~Bringing about Armageddon isn't as easy as it sounds...
Terry Pratchett, SOURCERY

"If one... just one more weird thing happens this month, I'm going to go completely bat shit."

All cats are gray in the dark.
~Benjamin Franklin (Duhhh...)

The road to the City of Emeralds is paved with yellow brick.

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

"What if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?"
~Bart Simpson, THE SIMPSONS

"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!"
~A Clockwork Orange-ish Bart ^_^

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

"Where do you come from?" said the Red Queen. "And where are you going? Look up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fingers all the time."

"Alright, I'm going to think of a purpose that endangers neither society nor myself... I'VE GOT ONE!! I'VE GOT IT!! AYOOAH!!! I'm going to Mandratha and getting a tattoo!!!"

"If there's nothing wrong with me, there must be something wrong with the Universe..."

Doctor Jack Seward: You want to autopsy Lucy?
Van Helsing: No no no, not exactly. I just want to cut off her head and take out her heart.

"If you put salt and butter on it, it tastes like salty butter."
~Popcorn explained (Terry Pratchett, MOVING PICTURES)

"This is your undoing. You could live a perfectly normal life if you were simply willing to live a perfectly normal life!"

HAL-9000: Will I dream?
Dr Chandra: Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why.

"Ah, I think I know why you did that. Because you've fallen for your lovely captive, isn't it?... Or, maybe not..."
~The ever-eloquent Lina Inverse, SLAYERS

"You and your misleading hairstyle!"

"Be sure to dress warm on those other planes of existence!"
~Crusher to Wesley, STAR TREK: TNG

"These are my three wives. Pestilence, Famine, and Death. Do you think I married them for their personalities? Their personalities could shatter entire planets. Arranged marriages, every one. But they worked out, they inspired me. Knowing that they were waiting at home for me is what keeps me here, seventy-five light years away."
~Londo, BABYLON 5

"They say you are a man of good... taste."
~Dracula to Jonathan Harker, BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA

Kenshin: Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse-

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
~Oscar Wilde

"But this - this, this, this is like being nibbled to death by... what are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet... go 'quack'..."
"Cats. I'm being nibbled to death by cats."
~Londo and Vir, BABYLON 5

Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the Empire forged.
~Douglas Adams, THHGTTG (It's just TOO long! :P)

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
~Mark Twain

It's a wonder we don't dissolve in our own bath water.
~Pablo Picasso

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
~Saki (Very true! ^_^)

"Dave, my mind is going! I can feel it! I can feel it!"
~2001: A Space Odyssey

Bad spelling can be lethal. For example, the greedy Seriph of Al-Ybi was once cursed by a badly-educated deity and for some days everything he touched turned to Glod, which happened to be the name of a small dwarf from a mountain community hundreds of miles away who found himself magically dragged to the kingdom and relentlessly duplicated.
~Terry Pratchett, WITCHES ABROAD

"Anyone whose hair sticks up like that can’t be a good guy."
~Okina talking about Sanosuke, RUROUNI KENSHIN

Kenshin: There’s no one in the world I’d trust more than Sano.
Okina (pounding Sanosuke on the shoulder): Good to meet you, Sanosuke!
Sanosuke: Oh shut up.

"I only have a silly head with such mysteries. I just want to remain an ordinary girl, but now I must do my best as a pretty soldier of justice. Dear, Tuxedo Mask, let's fight together!"
~Usagi, SAILORMOON (Urgh...)

"Cool, I broke his brain!"

"If you don't watch all the violence, you'll never get desensitized!"
~Bart again

"Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them."
~Dr Seuss

"Hey, who is this- (thinks: if Megumi=fox and Kaoru=tanuki, then she must be a--) weasel girl?"

"I'll kill you! KILL!"
~Misao, the aforementioned weasel girl

"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we're not the person involved?"
~Mark Twain

In our society, any man who doesn't cry at his mother's funeral is liable to be condemned to death.
~Albert Camus

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
~Philip K Dick

"Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."

"My hand! It's broken!"
~Sakuragi after being forced to shake hands with rival Rukawa, SLAM DUNK

"There is an invariable rule in men's battles, it states: 'An ugly, macho guy can never beat an intelligent, popular, slender and handsome hero. Your fate was sealed when you showed up with your ugly face."
~Dark Schneider, BASTARD!!

"Now, all he has to do, is say 'no.' Very simple word. They take his home, his money, his lands, but he will not give in. He died screaming in agony. But, he kept his integrity."

"This has gotta be some kind of joke. Joe, help me out here. I mean, 5000 years of wisdom? Him?"
~Richie, realizing that Adam Pierson is actually Methos, the oldest Immortal (HIGHLANDER)

"Understanding is a three-edged sword: your side, their side, and the truth."
~Captain John Sheridan, BABYLON 5

"I don't want to cause a lot of injuries unnecessarily. All those who don't like visiting the doctor should retreat now."

"We must win. The winning side will be happier."
~Toyotama team, SLAM DUNK

"Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed."

"Well," said Pooh, "We keep looking for Home and not finding it, so I thought that if we looked for this Pit, we'd be sure not to find it, which would be a Good Thing, because then we might find something that we weren't looking for, which might be just what we were looking for, really."
~A. A. Milne

"A couple of Medieval songwriters come up with the idea of Chivalry one rainy day and you embrace it as a lifestyle. You live and die by a code of honor that was trendy when you were a kid."

"Here is my tram-car. I dare say I'll not get a seat. This is nineteen-thirty-six. The age of chivalry is past."

"Well, it's no use your talking about waking him," said Tweedledum, "when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're not real."

History, contrary to popular theories, is kings and dates and battles.
~Terry Pratchett, SMALL GODS

"Why do you bother with him? He's had thousands of people killed!"
"Yes, but perhaps he thought that you wanted it."
The Great God Om and Brutha having a conversation
~Terry Pratchett, SMALL GODS

"Ho there - ye who are of the wicked-minded!!!! Thou who are godless and quite mad - prepare to be rendered!!!"
~The Purple Marauder, POISON ELVES

"My gun is starting to speak to me...bad things happen when that happens."

"In my religion, all are equal. Peasant!"

"There was a prince and a princess living happily in a kingdom. But there was a jealous devil from the dark world, named 'X'. 'X' turned the prince and princess into two stone paddles."

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
~Ed Gardner

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
~Albert Einstein

I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.
~Pablo Picasso

A poem begins with a lump in the throat.
~Robert Frost

Stand on the highest pavement of the stair-
Lean on a garden urn-
Weave, weave the sunlight in your hair.
~La Figlia Che Piange

to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
~e.e. cummings

Did you ever want once to come twice; did you ever say: "You please me, happiness! Instant! Moment!" then you wanted all to come back again!
~Friedrich Nietzsche, THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA

Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous.
~Anais Nin

People say that what we're all seeking is the meaning of life... I think that what we're really seeking is the experience of being alive.
~Rudyard Kipling

Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.
~Gene Fowler

“Well, sir, if things are real, they’re there all the time.”
“Are they?” said the Professor; and Peter did not quite know what to say.

Netpoets.com is in the process of publishing their second book, consisting of poems that have been submitted to their website and selected on the basis of votes by visitors to the site, and according to Ron Carnell the site owner, essentially "drawing from the best poetry submitted to our ever-popular main site". I submitted only one poem to Netpoets a while ago, and to my surprise and delight, it has been selected for inclusion in the book. Hence, some shameless plugging here :) ~ the book consists of some 350 pages and retails at USD39.95 (if an order is placed before October 18, you can get it at USD29.95 as it is more economical to order books before they are sent to the printers). If you're interested, you can find out more from this link and if you would like to place an order for the book or want more info, please email me at amislee@lycos.com.

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