INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep
all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's
the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to
answer, smile and ask,"Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mom.
16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
steps to correct it.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it
in your voice.
22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you getolder, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books and watch less TV.
27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all
you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current
situation.Don't bring up the past.
31. Read between the lines.
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the earth.
34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes
when you kiss.
38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others
while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a
stroke of luck.
41. Learn the rules then break some.
42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your
love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to
get it.
44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
EIGHT GIFTS THAT DO NOT COST A CENT
1. THE GIFT OF LISTENING...But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.
2. THE GIFT OF AFFECTION... Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions
demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.
3. THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4. THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note
or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime,
and may even change a life.
5. THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...A simple and sincere,"You look great in red"
"You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.
6. THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
7. THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...There are times when we want nothing better than to
be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude
to others.
8. THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone,
really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.
WHY GIRLS LOVE THEIR MEN
1. The way they get soo jealous if another guy stares at you
2. The way they are ready to fight for you at all costs
3. The ways they are shy and are scared of relationships
4. The way they rub the back of your neck while you're driving
5. and the way they always have one hand on your knee
6. they always manage to find ALL of your tickle spots
7. and laugh uncontrollably when you are being tickled to death
8. The way they introduce you to their friends as "my girl" or "mybaby"
9. The big huge dimples they bare when you tell then that you love them
10. and the way they always say I love you as you're going to bed
11. The way they look into your eyes and make you feel so safe
12. The way they stroke your cheek after making love
13. When they hold you throughout the night
14. and tell you how much you mean to them
15. The way they get insecure because they are afraid to lose you
16. Then they realize they have nothing to worry about so they hug you forever
17. The talents they possess that make you proud to show them off
18. When other girls look at them and they don't give them asecond look
19. When they have been in a bad mood all day and suddenly become happy when you're around
20. When they get tongue tied when trying to tell you how they feel
21. When they get excited about the same things you are excited about
22. When you both say the same thing at the same time and they look at you and laugh
23. The way they always compliment you whenever you go out
24. The way they open your car door and hope that you lean over to unlock their door
25. The way that they pass up all parties and get together because they want to spend time with you
26. The euphoric scent you smell whenever you hold them close
27. The way they stop by on their lunch break
28. The way they always dress you up in their clothes
29. The little space on their wall or mirror that they devote to you-- your pictures, cards and letters
30. And finally, the way they give you all their love, and their heart and hope that you will not
crush it. Defensively, they hold up their guard and
slowly you chip it away, leaving them with a high hope
and a trust that you will not hurt them... and you never will because they are your everything and without them, we lock
ourselves in our room, to pout and cry to our friends...
hoping that they will return and be with us forever!
101 SWEET THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR LOVER
1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Take showers together.
3. Back rubs/massages.
4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or w/ blacklight.
5. French Kiss.
6. Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
7. Whisper to each other.
8. Cook for each other.
9. Skinny dip.
10. Make out in the rain.
11. Dress each other.
12. Undress each other.
13. Kiss every part of their body.
14. Hold hands.
15. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other…not sex)
16. One word…Foreplay
17. Sit and talk in just underwear.
18. Buy gifts for each other.
19. Roses.
20. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it everytime you're together.
21. Wear his clothes.
22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars.
23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make for great cuddling/sex.
24. Kiss at every chance you get.
25. Don't wear underwear and let them find out.
26. Kinky is bad…Blindfolds are good.
27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, and then whisper I love you.
28. Bubble baths.
29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
30. Make love.
31. Write poetry for each other.
32. Kiss/smell her hair.
33. Hugs are the universal medicine.
34. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
35. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
36. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie.
37. Spend every second possible together.
38. Tell her that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn'twant to. And mean it.
39. Look into each other's eyes.
40. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
41. Talk to each other using only body language and your eyes.
42. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
43. Walk behind her and put your hands in her front pockets.
44. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
45. Clothes are no fun.
46. Buy her a ring.
47. Keep one of her bras somewhere where you see it everyday.
48. Sing to each other.
49. Read to each other.
50. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
51. Take advantage of any time alone together.
52. Tell her about how you answered every question in math withher name.
53. Draw. (If you can)
54. Let her sit on your lap.
55. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or on a mountain.
56. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and fingers, andcheeks, and collarbones, and hands, and ears.
57. Kiss her stomach.
58. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
59. Guys like half-shirts.
60. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
61. Spaghetti… (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
62. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her h and and then put it over your heart.
63. Unless you can feel their hear beating, you aren't close enough.
64. Dance together.
65. Sit in front of a roaring fire and make out/make love.
66. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
67. Carry her to bed.
68. Waterbeds are fun.
69. You figure it out.
70. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
71. Break every one of your parent's relationship rules for them.
72. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
73. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
74. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
75. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
76. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few hours.
77. Ride home and call them.
78. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
79. Somehow incorporate them into any kind of religion or worship you have.
80. Be Prince Charming to her parents. (Brownie Points)
81. Act out mutual fantasies together. (Not necessarily sexual)
82. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
83. Stay up all night to think of 101 ways to be sweet to them.
84. Hang out with his/her friends. (more brownie points)
85. Go to church/pray/worship together.
86. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
87. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear night.
88. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
89. Everyone deserves a second chance.
90. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
91. Make sacrifices for each other.
92. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
93. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in love, etc. and give it to them.
94. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
95. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
96. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
97. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
98. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
99. Sleep naked together.
100. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
101. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
How to say "I Love You" in 80+ Languages
English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Ai shitemasu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te ubesk
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Vietnamese - Anh yeu em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em yeu anh (to male)
IF YOU...YOU ARE...
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'
If you don't, you are half a man
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing
If you are well dressed, she says
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls'
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics
If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN'
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
"O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN"
FEMALES BEST FRIEND
1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off your clothes"
2. The Dentist because he says,"Please Open Wide"
3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown"
4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator because he says,"Once you have it all in,you'll love it."
6. The Banker because he says,"If you take it out to soon,you'll lose interest"
7. The Police Officer because he says,"Spread 'em"
8. The Mailman because he always delivers his package.
9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush,shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.
BEWARE OF THE FOLLOWING:
LEWINSKY VIRUS: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after one byte.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MG, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Deletes old files.
TITANIC VIRUS (a strain of the Lewinsky virus): Your whole computer goes down.
DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer is Goofy.
PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
JOEY BUTAFUCCO VIRUS: Only attacks minor files
ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates file, leaves, but it will be back.
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: Reforms your hard drive into a 3.5 floppy, then discards through windows.
VIAGRA VIRUS: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.