July 28, 2002:   Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter
in the supermarket – today's headlines:

JONBENET PARENTS DIVORCE BLOW-UP
            Will dying mom rat out dad?

                         [courtesy National Enquirer]
 

'PRICE IS RIGHT' BEAUTY FIRED!
        Too sexy for Bob Barker

                        [courtesy the Star]
 

BRITNEY COLLAPSES
  Crash diet causes health nightmare

                   [courtesy National Enquirer]
 

LETTERS to and FROM the EDITOR:

Frank Reed <Jansblooms@aol.com> wrote
Sun 28 Jul 2002 @12:07:09 CDT "for Jan":

Hi Natty, I do not read the Tabloids and recommend
you not waste your time on them either.

Reply:

Do not attempt to reply to this message.   This is an
automated response to your message in which it ap-
pears that you attempted not only  to  "unsubscribe"
from "Tabloid Headlines"  but also to "unsubscribe"
the originator of "Tabloid Headlines." Please be ad-
vised  that your effort to "unsubscribe" yourself  fail-
ed for failure to follow the "unsubscribe" instructions
explicitly and to the letter  (and,  in particular,  to the
letter T), and that all efforts to "unsubscribe" the ori-
ginator would be futile in any event as he is incurably
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All  attempts  to reply to this automated message will
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Archives index                    
Borf Books        borf@borfents.com            Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210                   War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor




July 21, 2002:   Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter
in the supermarket – today's headline:

 
END TIMES HAVE BEGUN!

                                                 [courtesy the Star]
 

Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index                    
Borf Books        borf@borfents.com            Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210                   War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor




July 14, 2002
:   Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter
in the supermarket – today's headlines:
 

AMELIA EARHART'S PLANE LANDS  ON PACIFIC ISLAND
                    . . . WITH SKELETON AT CONTROLS!

                                                                     [courtesy Weekly World News]
 

PRINCE WILLIAM GOING BALD!

                                [courtesy the Star]


DISCUSSION GROUP:

      Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to attend the Weekly World
News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books outside Browns-
ville, Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.  Guest speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future include Ted Williams' son,
Ted Williams, and Iranian women who murdered their husbands.


Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index                    
Borf Books        borf@borfents.com            Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210                   War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor




July 7, 2002
:   Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the coun-
ter in the supermarket – today's headlines:

BULGING BRITNEY PILES ON 15 lbs

                                    [courtesy the Star]

  OPRAH LOSES 68 lbs!

         [courtesy the Globe]

 
GREEDY MARTHA STEWART COLLAPSES

                                 [courtesy the Star]
 
PRINCE WILLIAM CAUGHT DOING DRUGS

                                         [courtesy the Globe]
 

LETTERS to the EDITOR:

Allende wrote Mon 01 Jul 2002 @01:13:04 CDT re
the two-headed man running for mayor against himself:

Washinton Post says race likely to remain neck and neck
until election day; loser to go to Europe to play pro soccer.
 
 
HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE:

  Remember,  if you don't want to receive any more of this inane crap,
just hit your "Reply" button and type in the subject line, "GET THESE
TABLOID HEADLINES OUT OF MY LIFE AND FUCK OFF!"

  But remember also, you have to spell and punctuate the message ex-
actly as it appears above – without quotation marks,  and without that
redundant "Re:"  that appears in so many subject lines  –  or  you  will
keep getting this shit!


Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index                    
Borf Books        borf@borfents.com            Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210                   War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor