Terry Crow wrote Sun 19 Aug 2007 @08:31:18 PDT:

The record set by Bobby Cox is tainted  because he was
tossed a few times while he was a player.  Let's wait until
he passes McGraw's record of ejections  as  a  manager
before we celebrate.  Is nothing sacred any more?

According to ESPN,  it was Mr. Cox' 132nd ejection as a mana-
ger.  (Did he, in fact, play ball?  And, if he did, did he have the a-
bility or temerity to confront an umpire then?)                     -- Ed.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2904068

A school bus driver  in  Carmel  left a 5-year-old girl aboard  at the end of
his morning route.  She spent the entire 7-hour school day on a bus parked
outside a school not hers.  (The driver was fired.)

                                                                      [courtesy Associated Press]

A 26th straight day of high temperatures of 90 degrees or above set a record
in Louisville  (the old mark, 21, was set in 1900 and tied in 1901).

                [courtesy AP -- but they got nothin' on us here in the County:
                                 We had 27 days at 100 or above in 1988.  – Editor]

"Let his days be few,  and let another take his office.  Let his children be fatherless,  and his
 wife a widow."
                             – Baptist preacher Wiley S. Drake,  of Buena Park,  California,  in a prayer for the
                                deaths  of two members of Americans United for Separation of Church and State


"No – we would have been all alone.  It would have been a U.S. occupation of Iraq.   Once
 you got to Iraq  and took it over,  took down Saddam Hussein's government,  then what are
 you going to put in its place?  It's a quagmire.  How many additional dead Americans is Sad-
 dam worth?  Our judgment was, not very many;  and I think we got it right."

                                                          – Dick  Cheney,  in a  1994  interview  in which he was asked if
                                                             U.S. forces should have invaded Baghdad in the 1st Gulf War


"It's better to be silent than to be a fool."

          – Harper Lee,  a woman of few words since publication of her Pulitzer Prize novel
             To Kill a Mockingbird, at an Alabama Academy of Honor ceremony last Monday

The CIA was editing Wikipedia. . . .  German physicists claimed
to have broken the speed of light. .  .  .  Scottish physicists made
things levitate. . . . A 53-year-old blind woman got a hole-in-one
on a 144-yard golf shot with a driver  in  Leighton,  Pennsylvania.
.  .  .  An Australian woman was crushed by her sexually aroused
pet camel.  . . .  A 70-year-old woman was arrested in Orem, U-
tah, for not watering her lawn. . . .A 59-year-old linebacker made
the Sul Ross State College football team in Alpine, Texas.  . . .  A
Northern Irishman bit his girl friend's pet python in two. . . . A 15-
year-old Finnish boy was fined 3,090 euros  (including court costs
and damages) for posting a karaoke performance of his teacher on
YouTube and calling her a lunatic.

                                                   [courtesy Harper's Weekly, AP]

• Collector's item
• Buy now, sell on e-Bay tomorrow!
  

Fosterdme@aol.com wrote Sat 18 Aug 2007 @10:18:09 EDT:

I submit that, if George W. Bush did say "I'll cross that bridge
when I come to it" on his way to Minneapolis, he was unorigi-
nally lifting from the old story that Ted Kennedy said it just af-
ter Mary Jo Kopechne told him she was pregnant.

Bob Hill wrote Tues 14 Aug 2007 @06:58:21 EDT:

Any chance the dead guy found in the chair was the most recent
husband of  the  woman  who  sold  his  previous  wife's  ashes?
Sounds like a vicious circle to me.

The death of a 114-year-old woman at a nursing home in Japan left
Edna Parker,  also 114,  of Shelbyville,  Indiana,  the world's oldest
person. . . .

A 47-year-old woman was convicted of contempt of court for posing
as her 25-year-old son's wife in approving a plea bargain he made on
a domestic assault charge in Evansville. . . .

Twenty-seven per cent of this summer's county fairs had no midways
– no rides, no games.
                                                            [courtesy Associated Press]

The Duct Tape Bandit was arrested in Ashland [courtesy AP]

"When you’re in the public eye, it's wrong to cheat on someone, unless
 you're very careful.  If you're normal and no one's going to know, then
 do it."
                                                                                    – Paris Hilton

"We are issuing a higher alert because we are aware of certain problems
 in certain areas  that could in time bring your lives to a very sudden  and
 abrupt end,  but please do not worry   –  just carry on with your normal
 lives and report all suspicious plunging bridges to your local authorities."

                –  The  Homeland  Security  Department,  as quoted
                    by Louisville Courier-Journal columnist Bob Hill

A study found that Major League baseball umpires call more
strikes for pitchers of their own race. . . . Bobby Cox, mana-
ger of the Atlanta Braves,  broke John McGraw's record  by
getting ejected from a game for the 132nd time. . . . A black
sculptor criticized the choice  of  a  Chinese  sculptor  for the
Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. . . .  A tornado took down
292 trees  in  Brooklyn.  .  .  . An 8-year-old girl left Deland,
Florida, on a bicycle  for her former home in Ohio out of fear
of hurricanes (she didn't make it to the county line). . . . Hilla-
ry Clinton and Barack Obama  said they favored a continued
presence of U.S. troops in Iraq. . . . Leonid  Stadnyk,  an 8-
foot-5 Ukrainian, was declared the tallest man  in  the  world.
.  .  .  An unaddressed package of human ashes was dropped
in a mail collection box in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. . . .A Chi-
nese couple named their baby @. . . . The  Tennessee preach-
er's wife who blew her husband away with a shotgun  was  re-
leased after doing 67 days in a mental institution for manslaugh-
ter. . . . A horse found in Adams, Tennessee, with a hatchet im-
planted between her eyes was expected to make a full recovery.
. . .  Chattanooga, Tennessee, rented 12 goats to remove kudzu
from city lands  --  and two llamas to protect the goats from city
dogs.
                      [courtesy Harper's, AP, NPR, New York Times]

Publius Leget wrote Sun 5 Aug 2007 @11:04:26 EDT:

Did  George W. Bush  really  say  "I'll cross that bridge when I
come to it"  on his way to Minnesapolis?

Well,  we may have crossed a journalistic line there – we did not actu-
ally see or hear any credible reports that he did.

But it sounded like something he would say in the moment –  and  we
would be willing to bet that he did, to someone, at some juncture (and
probably to one of those people he won't let testify on Capitol Hill).  –  Editor


"Dusty" wrote Sat 11 Aug 2007 @17:05:32 MDT:

I wish Bush had said "I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it!"

A federal judge upheld a public school dress code in Anderson re-
quiring black, navy or khaki pants and skirts,  and  solid colors for
shirts and sweaters,  and  prohibiting  baggy and saggy pants, san-
dals, and exposed midriffs.
                                                        [courtesy Associated Press]

A drinking stewardess told the pilot "You're dead" as she was removed
from an Atlantic Southeast airliner at Blue Grass Airport in Lexington.

                                                                                      [courtesy AP]

"He's really a very unpleasant person, in every possible way."

                                    – sportswriter John Feinstein, speaking of baseball's Barry Bonds

A 17-year-old boy fell from a sixth-story balcony at a hotel
in Myrtle Beach,  South Carolina,  hit other balconies on his
way down, slammed onto a slanted rooftop, slid into bushes,
and walked away with cuts and bruises. . . . An 18-year-old
woman was rescued from dangling over a 200-foot cliff after
trying to retrieve her flip-flop in southern California  (the flip-
flop was lost). . . . A 71-year-old woman survived when her
pickup truck plunged over a150-foot cliff near El Paso, Tex-
as.  .  .  . A bank robber in New Hudson,  Michigan,  ran off
without his loot after the teller asked him for a bag to put it in.
. . .  Congressman Tom Tancredo of Colorado, a Republican
candidate for President (did you know that?), said that if elec-
ted he would bomb Mecca and Medina.  . . .  Boys playing in
the woods in Daytona Beach,  Florida,  found a dead man sit-
ting in a chair. . . . Johnson & Johnson sued the Red Cross for
trademark infringement over its use of  the  red  cross.  .  .  . A
woman  in Phoenix,  Arizona,  found a human skull  in  a  "grab
box" she bought at a "you store it" mini-warehouse's unclaimed
property auction. . . . A woman in Elmira, New York,  sold her
husband's previous wife's ashes at a garage sale.

                                             [courtesy Harper's Weekly, AP]

Bruce Mitchell wrote Sun 29 July 2007 @11:59:57 PDT re
the news that the Weekly World News is going out of print:

Now what will we do for entertainment while waiting behind old
ladies endlessly counting out change at the checkout stand?

Well.  Very good question.  Some comments:

1.    We still have the likes of  Paris  Hilton,  Nicole  Richie  and
       Lindsay  Lohan  to kick around in the Globe,  the National
       Enquirer and the National Examiner (and even in the slicko
       Star, when need be).

2.    We still have spice and posh girls  in the UK's Sun  (in  the
        truly upscale neighborhoods).
 
3.    The Editor's wife  is one of those little old ladies who hold
       up the lines digging in their purses  for  exact  change!   But
       more blameworthy, we think, are men and women of youn-
       ger to middle age who don't know how to count  "15  items
       or fewer"  and  women  of  middle  and advanced age  who
       don't know how to write a check  or  pass a debit or credit
       card through a scanner.

4.   But  you're  right  (and so is Scott Simon).  Things may never
      be the same.  Other U.S. tabloids, except the Sun,  deal prin-
      cipally with bimbos (the U.S.' Sun deals principally with religi-
      ous issues and prophecies).  Only the Weekly  World  News
      gave us timely headlines and articles on global and cosmic is-
      sues of transcendant import.   As one of our loyal readers, F.
      G. Dean, of L.A., asked, time and again, of the reporters and
      editors for the Weekly World News,  "What  are  these  guys
      smoking?"
                                                                               – The Editor


Herbert Saxon wrote Tues 31 July 2007 @09:46:43 EDT:

Sob!

Bob Hill wrote Tues 31 July 2007 @06:51:35 EDT:

NOT to worry...There's always the Courier-Journal.

FGDean@aol.com wrote Sun 29 July 2007 @09:55:59 PDT re the
"Pgymy musicians housed at zoo" headline  from  the  San Francisco
Chronicle"  (which he submitted):

Does this mean that the Chronicle is a Tabloid?

"Aren't they all?" we replied in a private e-mail.  And FGDean
wrote further Mon 30 July 2007 @10:47:35 PDT:

I suppose so,  in the sense that mainstream newspapers
today are more sensational in their reporting because of
competition from TV and the internet.     But as this was
not a "manufactured" story  [it was about a band of pyg-
mies said actually to have been temporarily housed  in  a
zoo in the Congo], I didn't expect to see it in with the ac-
tual "Tabloid Headlines."   I thought it would be in the list
of "bonus" stories,  such as those from  Harper's Weekly
(not that I give a whiz bang either way).

But we at Tabloid Headlines never did question an entry for "man-
ufacturedness."   Long  ago  we put the Louisville Courier-Journal
and the New York Times right up there  with  the National Enqui-
rer;  and  now,  with  the demise of the print edition of the Weekly
World  News,  we  may need papers such as  the  San  Francisco
Chronicle  more than ever.   Thanks for writing!        – The Editor

A teen-ager fleeing the scene of a burglary in Gary was shot to death
because of his saggy pants  –  which he was reaching to pull up,  ma-
king the cop think he was reaching for a gun  (or,  so said the cop).

                                                            [courtesy Associated Press]

Prisoner  Larry  Cochran  challenged his indictment in federal court in
Hammond because it was issued against "LARRY COCHRAN,"  an
entity he claimed not to know   (he asked why Larry Cochran should
be held accountable for the acts of LARRY COCHRAN).

                                                            [courtesy Associated Press]

The town of Berea,  in Madison County,  remained entirely dry in
a vote of 1,125 to 1,539 to allow sale of  liquor  by  the  drink  in
restaurants.  In  Richmond,  the  county  seat,  one of six formerly
dry precincts voted  9 to 0  (the vote totals,  not just the ratio)  to
allow all liquor sales,  raising the ratio (and  numbers)  of wet pre-
cincts to dry  to 14 to 5. . . .

Burglars took last Sunday's Immaculate Conception  collection  in
La Grange. . . .

Leilani Munter, a former "stunt man" for Cath- erine Zeta-Jones, will make her Indy Pro Series auto racing debut at Sparta's Ken- tucky Speedway on August 11

                                     [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."
                                                                    – President Bush, en route to Minneapolis

"The world will always welcome bimbos, as time goes by . . . ."

Michelangelo Antonioni, 94
Ingmar Bergman, 89
Tommy Maken, 74
Tom Snyder, 71
Bill Walsh, 75

Berlin's 13th street,  which fronts a building with practice stu-
dios  for more than 160 bands,  was renamed Frank-Zappa-
Strasse.  .  .  .  A blonde woman wearing only stilettos and a
gold bracelet bought a pack of cigarettes at a gasoline station
in the east German town of Doemitz before climbing back in-
to the passenger seat of a waiting Ferrari. . . . John Edwards,
asked in a YouTube-CNN debate to say something nice and
something not so nice about Hillary Clinton,  said he liked her
record of national service  but  not her salmon colored jacket.
. . . Nancy Pelosi was ranked fourth among the beautiful peo-
ple on Capitol Hill.  .  .  .   The BBC reported that there are 4
million children of millionaires in America.  .  .  .  A prisoner in
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, was convicted of indecent exposure
for masturbating in his cell. . . .  An armless man with only one
leg was sentenced in New Port Richey,  Florida,  to 5 years in
prison for driving without a license and drug offenses. . . . Nine
of  10  in  a Pew poll  said there is too much news coverage of
celebrity scandal.
                                   [courtesy Harper's Weekly, AP, BBC]

"Carla Meredith" titled "Deal" --
"Ellis Felix" titled "Get xaxnax here!" --
"Bernice Chatman" titled "Wanna be like me?" --
"eBay Safeharbor Department" titled "eBay : Question about Item -- Respond Now" -- and
"Richard" titled "Not Actionist campaign of. Lefkin inherited his veins. But the next to the gathering old?"