Len wrote Sun 11/17/13 @10:49 EST re Frank Sinatra's
supposed fling with Nancy Reagan in the White House:

Normally I'd say who cares where Frank got his wick
wet;  and besides, they're all dead now.  But – Nancy
Reagan?  Ewww, that's just gross.  Yeah, I know she's
still walking around – but she's been a zombie for ages.

Henry Velenosi wrote Sun 11/17/13 @07:56 PST:

Regarding Nolan Porterfield's comment that he never
knew a GI to use the chin strap  on a combat helmet:
In basic training they told us not to.  If a shell hit your
helmet,  the chin strap could make the damage worse.
It was an emphasized no-no.

Bruce Mitchell wrote Sun 11/17/13 @16:39 PST:

The editor really ought to read the stories at the links
provided.  Walmart had nothing to do with this one.

Keith Durbin wrote Weds 11/20/13 @09:57 CST:

What is this obsession with hats, caps and other head
covers?  How about trying to find out the origin of the
word hello.

From "hallo," variant of "hollo," variant of "holla," from Middle
French "hola"  =  "ho" + "la"  meaning "ahoy there."   Random
House College Dictionary.  – Ed.

A  portrait  of President Obama in the federal building in Lafayette
was raised 18 inches to keep someone from the continual insertion
of slips of paper calling for his impeachment.

                                                                [courtesy Columbus Republic]

   

Indianapolis police, whose training includes the film The Blues Brothers, catch their prey (Star)

Police raided Mexican restaurants in Indianapolis, Lafayette, Rich-
mond and New Palestine, without arrests or explanation.

                                                                   [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

   

Most wanted in New Albany drug bust: Kelly Gilley 11-18-81, Dale Derrickson 6-9-53, Crystal Ross 5-31-86, Justin Watson 10-14-84, Evelyn Hestler 5-27-78, Jessica Wessling 12-26-89, Camren Poe 8-4-93, Alicia Carothers 8-21-87 (Louisville Courier-Journal)

A man seeking "sext" in a liquor store parking lot on Indianapolis' East
Side lost his car and his pants. . . .

Indiana University students rocked for 36 hours at their own dance marathon (it was not reported whether the song list included Journey's "Don't Stop Believing") (Indianapolis Star)

                                                                        [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

George Zimmerman was deprived of his guns by a judge  (protesters
of Zimmerman's acquittal raided a Wal-Mart in Los Angeles, Califor-
nia, in July). . . .

An Amtrak train got lost in Philadelphia (some of the passengers had
recently shopped at Wal-Mart). . . .

Sun News canceled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's TV show just a day
after its debut  (and it was reported also that Ford once had a distant
relative  who once worked as a greeter at a Wal-Mart somewhere in
Minnesota).

Senator Rand Paul, who said in July that a federal bailout of Detroit
would happen only  "over my dead body,"  will speak at the Detroit
Economic Club on December 6.
                                                            [courtesy Detroit Free Press]

A John Denver tribute concert was performed at the Woodford
County Library in Versailles.
                                                       [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

Operatives for Senator Mitch McConnell photoslopped the face of his challenger, Alice-in-Wonderland's Groin Alison Lundergan Grimes, onto the body of the 2007 "Obama girl." The photo accompanied a "tweet" reading "Is Alison Grimes Is [sic] The New Obama Girl?" (Louisville Courier-Journal)

"The de facto job of being an ex-President, generally speaking, is to do relatively
  noncontroversial good works.  Or, if you're George W. Bush, you could spend
  that time trying to convert the Jews to Christianity  so we can have the Second
  Coming of Christ on Earth and therefore the apocalypse."
                                                                                                – Rachel Maddow

Miley Cyrus, 21
Bo Derek, 57
Judy Woodruff, 67

Dai Macedo was crowned bottomed  "Miss Bum Bum"  in
Sao Paolo for the most bodacious butt in Brazil. . . .  A po-
lice commander in the Philippines  was fired for estimating
10,000 typhoon dead (the latest toll was a little over 5,000,
but nearly 2,000 more people were still missing). . . . Pussy
Riot's Nadezhda Tolokonnikova turned up in a Siberian pri-
son hospital.  . . . The Patriot-News of Harrisburg, Pennsyl-
vania, retracted an 1863 editorial panning the "silly remarks"
Abraham Lincoln made at Gettysburg. . . . Doorknobs were
outlawed  in  Vancouver,  British Columbia. . . . Nickelback
ranked just above lice and just below root canals in a Funny
Times survey of things people like more than Congress.  . . .
A 52-year-old woman in Chicago was arrested for the 396th
time in 35 years. . . . A Wal-Mart in Canton,  Ohio,  was ask-
ing employees to contribute to a food drive for impoverished
fellow employees.

The Senate changed its rules to eliminate filibusters
on presidential nominations but exempted Supreme
Court nominations from the rule change. So this is,
we guess, merely the "atomic option,"  and not the
"nuclear option"?

Sign up here for the Lance Armstrong / Barry Bonds / Sam-
my Sosa / Mark McGwire / Roger Clemens / Marion Jones
fan club.  If drugs made them champions,  aren't drugs good
for us?  Barry Wood said. . . .

The leading rusher for the Philadelphia Eagles (in fact, in the
whole National Football League) is  DeSean  McCoy,  and
their leading receiver is LeSean Jackson (that's DEE-shawn
and LEE-shawn, phonetically – guess what color they are).

My fiancé is amazing, sensitive and wonderful.  The only
problem is his sister.

When we became engaged, “Jessie” was so jealous her
mother (my fiancé's mother) begged us to make her my
maid of honor.  I  did,  to keep the peace.  I've  spoken
with Jessie a handful of times  and don't like her.  She is
29,  gets a monthly allowance from her parents because
she lives beyond her means,  and  threatens  to withhold
her young son from my fiancé and his parents when they
won't give her what she wants.

We told Jessie she could help with the wedding plans, but
then she had a total meltdown and lashed out at my fiancé
and their mom.  We  then  told her she could not come to
the wedding unless she apologized. This has resulted in my
not being allowed near her son.  My future mother-in-law
is trying to force us to invite Jessie,  saying,  "I promise to
keep her under control so she won't wreck the wedding."
The fact that she needed to say that  makes  me  nervous.
My fiancé isn't close to his sister  and is tired of her beha-
vior.  I don't want her at my wedding because she's been
so rude to both of us, but I'd accept her if she apologized.
It is our wedding.  Can't we do what we want?
                                                                        The Bride

Since you're curious:  The two are Jackie and Nancy, according to a new biography;  but it was
not a ménage à trois, as the headline implies. Old Blue Eyes supposedly had a one-nighter with
Jackie in 1975, a dozen years after JKF's death, and 6 months after Aristotle Onassis' death. He
supposedly bedded Nancy Reagan, an old friend, in the White House in 1981.

Ted Fiskevold wrote Sun 11/10/13 @08:18 CST:

Oh, Mommy,  I ain't no Commie . . . please let me
do what I wanna, lie around the house and smoke
Mar-a-juannna...

It was Brewer and Shipley  who  sang  "One Toke
Over the Line."  I  listened  to  the  album  Tarkio
(Road it's a bummer, just like, oh so many others)
countless times while in high school.

Nolan Porterfield wrote Tues 10/29/13 @17:16 CDT
re "Roots and grafts":

World War II vintage helmets have two compo-
nents:  (1)  A  steel  pot,  entirely smooth inside,
and used in the field also as a container, to hold
soup or any other liquid the mess cooks dream-
ed up,  and  (2) a stiff liner with a webbing that
nestles on the crown of the head, with straps to
buckle under the chin  (I never knew any GI to
fasten the straps; many simply folded the straps
into the liner). The two components are held to-
gether by clips on both sides of the liner.

So, what do we have here?  A  hybrid cap-hat?
Taken together or separately, they're "helmets."
This item is neither fish nor fowl – neither  cap
nor  hat.

"Hard hat" opens up a new and lively subject.

Early aviator and football helmets clearly were caps (James Naismith, the inventor of basket-
ball, is credited with inventing the football helmet also, by the way).   But  from  Mr.  Porter-
field's observations,  the editors at Tabloid Headlines have concluded that the modern milita-
ry helmet is a hat worn on a cap  (pot on liner – we  prefer  juxtaposition  to  hybrid,  in  this
case).

'Doughboy' helmet (World War I); World War II helmets (Gi's Willie and Joe)

Mr. Porterfield gave us also a name for that two-point military cap with air space at front and
back, but the crown of the cap resting on the crown of the head:  An "overseas" cap (and an-
other name for it he'd prefer we not print), adding, "If any soldier or policeman – or anyone –
wore such a chapeau today, it would be in some banana republic or Third World country."  It
was worn circa World War II,  despite its name, by many service men and women who never
left the States, Mr. Porterfield noted.

By our air space (hair space) above the crown criterion,  we must say that a construction
worker's "hard hat" is actually a hat.  Let's just call it "a hat that looks like a cap." A fire-
man's helmet also would qualify as a hat.

'Overseas' cap; 'Hard hat'; Fireman

Our readers will be delighted to know, we presume, that we are going no further with skull-
caps, madcaps and mad hatters.

Mad Hatter; Yarmulke (skullcap) on kitten; Madcap (Andy Kaufman)

A Johnson County police dog chased a motorist fleeing a crash into
a corn field and bit him. . . .

Indiana University claimed No. 1 in the Big Ten for its  Twitter  ac-
count.
                                                                [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

Purdue University students rock to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" at their 10th Dance Marathon (Lafayette Journal & Courier)

Investigators reported that a Louisville school bus that crashed on I-64
in June because of a tire failure, injuring 30 students and 4 adults, was
rolling on 11-year-old tires acquired from a scrap bin.

                                                                        [courtesy Courier-Journal]

State senators and their staff will be required to take sexual harassment
training before the beginning of next year's session.
                                                                                        [courtesy WKYT]

The mayor of Sunny Point admitted that he had smoked crack cocaine.

                                                             [a Tabloid Headlines exclusive]

Lexington's most wanted: Marlon Griffin, BM, 36, 6'0", 245 lbs (sorry, no new chickies this week)

                                                                    [courtesy Herald-Leader]

"Never talk about how you slept; nobody cares . . . .

"Never talk about your period; nobody cares . . . .

"Don't talk about your health, either; nobody cares . . . the common colds, the aches
        and pains, that is; it's really tiresome. . . .

"Your dreams, don't talk about your dreams; nobody cares about your dreams. . . .

"And never talk about money; it's vulgar. . . .

"Diet is a very big thing not to talk about; it's really boring. . . .

"Route talk.  'Route talk' is when people tell you how they arrived, how they came,
        how they got on the road,  which road, how long it took;  that is the top of my
        list of what you don't talk about."

                                                                – advice from Sarah Koenig's mother, Maria Matthiessen

"Our unemployment rate for veterans in Kentucky is much higher than any other type
  of occupation."
                                     – James Comer, Commissioner of Agriculture

"One person has been confirmed as having been killed."
                                                                                              – Josh Elliott, Good Morning America

"We are not blind, and I don't think we're stupid."
                                                                                      – John Kerry

"I sincerely apologize."
                                          – Rob Ford

Tonya Harding, 43
Calista Flockhart, 49
Demi Moore, 51
TedF, 60
Chi Coltrane, 65
Cacho Conde, 65
Charles Arthur Philip George, Prince of Wales, 65
Charles Manson, 79
Petula Clark, 81

Booker T. Washington "Bukka" White (1909-1977)

A bill in the California Senate  that would require pornog-
raphy performers to wear condoms was  amended  to  re-
quire them to wear safety goggles also. . . . Rustlers made
off with 160 sheep from a field  near Wool,  England. . . .
A  swarm  of part-African bees stung a barking pit bull to
death in St. Petersburg, Florida. . . . A form used by Col-
orado College  in  Colorado Springs,  Colorado,  asks  job
applicants if they are male, female, transgender,  or queer
(or if they would prefer not to say). . . . Five rural eastern
counties voted to secede from Colorado  to avoid gay un-
ions, legal marijuana, renewable energy, and limits on am-
munition. . . . A kicked-out member of  an  "Iranian  indie
rock band" in New York  shot and killed two members of
the band, another musician and himself,  and wounded an
artist. . . . Mount  Sinabung  erupted  six  times. . . .  Lake
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is
misspelled  on the welcome sign  in  Webster,  Massachu-
setts.  . . . Two male graduates of the U.S. Military Acad-
emy wed at West Point.  . . .  A man who appeared to be
clenching his buttocks as he left aWal-Mart in New Mex-
ico was arrested,  subjected to two anal probes, three en-
emas,  and a colonoscopy,  was released without charges
when  nothing was found,  and was billed for the medical
procedures. .  .  .  Starbucks lost a federal court appeal a-
gainst Black Bear Micro Roastery  of  Tuftonboro,  New
Hampshire, regarding Black Bear's "Charbucks" and "Mr.
Charbucks" blends. . . . A couple in Butler County, Ohio,
were indicted for child neglect for  returning  their 9-year-
old adopted son, whom they had reared from infancy,  to
the County. . . .  A 3-year-old boy was reported bitten by
a coyote in Chicago.

New York's One World Trade Center, with a last-minute
poke with its needle,  beat  Chicago's Willis  (née Sears)
Tower,  1,776 to 1,450  (but Willis' floor space still tow-
ers over Trade's,  1,354 to 1,268).  Neither  is the tallest
building in the world, of course. . . .

John Moffitt,  a third-year offensive guard for the Denver
Broncos, walked away from a multimillion-dollar Nation-
al Football League career in  midseason,  saying  he  had
better things to do with his life. . . .

The U of L left the AAC for the ACC.

I'm 76 years old, and my 55th college reunion is coming
up soon.

I'm not sure I should attend.  "He" is always there.  We
had a beautiful senior year and were very much in love.
I expected a ring for graduation,  but  it  didn't  happen.
After graduation we moved apart. He  never  called  or
wrote.  Through a mutual friend I learned  that  he  got
back with a former girl friend and married.

We had the right love, but the timing was bad.  I receive
a Christmas card and a note from him  every  year.   At
each reunion I want to be friendly and neutral, but I end
up losing my composure.   I act like a spoiled teen,  and
he gets a chip on his shoulder.

Now I want to go to say thanks for all we shared.  I've
had a great life.  I never married,  but my life has been
full with a wonderful career, loyal friends, a loving fam-
ily,  travel and entertaining.   My years of fantasizing a-
bout my ex boy friend were over long ago.

We may never see each other again, and I don't want
my life to end with this bitter feeling.   Should I drop
him a note saying, "I'd love to see you and your wife
at the reunion"?
                                             A Very Ex College Girl

Jay Cory wrote Mon 11/4/13 @08:43 CST:

I'm not saying Sarah Palin doesn't actually believe that Jesus
celebrated Easter  (I actually would bet she does).  She just
didn't say that on Fox and Friends. The Daily Currant, which
you cited, is a satirical paper.

Publius Leget wrote Sun 10/27/13 @11:14 CDT:

McDonald's didn't drop ketchup from its menu – it merely
canceled its contract with Heinz.

If it's not Heinz, it's not ketchup.  – Ed.

New Albany officials complained about the electric company's clear-
cutting a 200-foot-wide swath through  Floyds Knobs'  colorful  au-
tumn foliage.
                                               [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

Senator Rand Paul admitted plagiarism in his speeches and books af-
ter constant needling by Rachel Maddow and other scolds.
                                                                                                [courtesy CBS]

An eastern Kentucky high school girl refused to run in regional cross-
country competition because the number 666 was assigned to her.

                                                        [courtesy WYMT Mountain News]

["Lexington's most wanted:"   There are no new female perps in this week's
  gallery.  There were two repeats  only  (and both are related to our lovely
  li'l editorial assistant, Dear Jeanetta: Her mother, Sherry Johnson, and her
  sister-in-law, Tracy Davis).  Hence, no new mug shots this week.  Sorry.]

"I am persuaded that everyone knew everything."
                                                                                    – Russian foreign minister Sergey Lavrov,
                                                                                       saying his government is not surprised
                                                                                       by reports of U.S. monitoring of its allies

"If you have a 14-year-old boy and he has an internet connection in his bedroom,
 he is looking at pornography."
                                                               – Dr. Victor Strasburger, University of New
                                                                  Mexico adolescent medicine specialist

"As some of you know, Mars is not an easy target to get to."
                                                                                                     – Bruce Jakosky, NASA consultant

" . . . as you alluded to."
                                               – Christy McDonald, Detroit Public Television

Answer to last week's questions:

A beret is a cap.  It's soft.  Our chief source here
is  the Macmillan Dictionary for Children  (1989):
"A soft, round, flat cap."  We like this dictionary's
definition of "cap" also:   "A close-fitting covering
for the head."  (Its definition of  "hat"  is  not  very
helpful:  "A  covering  for  the head;  it often has a
brim and a crown.")

But there is compelling argument for  the  proposi-
tion that a beret is actually a hat.  It tends to sit on
your head,  like a hat,  rather than grip it,  as most
caps do.  And  it's  for  dandies,  the demographic
fancying hats.

A Scottish tam-o'-shanter (or, just a "tam") has a lit-
tle more shape than the French beret, and it's a little
stiffer, but it's still a beret;  and it, too, is for dandies
(Scots wear skirts, you know).

There is no definition of "fez" or "tam" in the Diction-
ary for Children.  Sorry.

As for the Red Sox and the rednecks?  The Boston
Red Sox wear baseball caps. Forget the stiff beaks
(visors);  they're  just  apps  for caps.  The garment
grips the head.  Rednecks, however, wear baseball
hats – that's because they are too ignorant to know
they are wearing  caps,  and "baseball hats" is what
they call them. Redneck headwear is known also as
"feed caps."   And to rednecks, feed caps / baseball
hats are a fashion statement  – see the 1828 defini-
tion of "hat" in the issue starting this thread.

Our correspondent Nolan Porterfield calls feed caps
"gimme" caps.  "It is understood between giver  and
recipient," he says, "that the recipient never asks for
the  cap  but will tell his buddies he did and conned
the giver into giving it.   The  giver  gives  the gimme
cap because the recipient is a buddy and a good ole
boy – or does business with the giver."

  For future discussion:

• skullcaps
• blasting caps
• spending caps
• caps that go "pop" in toy pistols
• skycaps
• madcaps
• mad hatters

    And, helmets?  You really wanna go there?  (If
    we do, we gotta discuss "hard hats," too.)

Lynndie England, 31
Tatum O'Neal, 50
Rickie Lee Jones, 59
Cecil Ingram Connor III ("Gram Parsons," 1946-1973)
Jim Kaat, 75
Clara Ann Fowler ("Patti Page," 1927-2013)

Stonewall Jackson, 81 (and, why no quotation marks, you ask?
                                       Because Stonewall is his real name!)

Bonnie Raitt, 64
Guy Clark, 72

A woman avoiding a Halloween gorilla on the street  in
Spokane, Washington,  totaled her car and got a ticket
and a broken collarbone.  . . .  A woman in San Diego,
California, was ticketed for driving while wearing Goo-
gle Glasses.  . . .  An  alligator  was found in a baggage
claim area at O'Hare Airport in Chicago. .  .  . Edward
Snowden took a tech support job at a Russian internet
company. . . .  Eight 6th-graders were were taken to a
hospital in Brooklyn  for  suspected toxic fume poison-
ing after another student released  his  Axe body spray
in a classroom. . . .  A Pussy Riot member was missing
in a transfer between gulags in Siberia. . . .A study was
published reporting that  women  as well as men spend
more time looking at women's bodies than at their faces.
. . . Christa Christie [and] McAuliffe won elections. . . .
A woman coach  of a high school girls' basketball team
was fired in Pocatello, Idaho, over a Clutterbook Face-
book photo  of the male coach of a boys' football team
touching her on the chest (but the boys coach wasn't –
well,  it was her Facebook page,  not his).   Both wore
swimsuits in the photo. .  .  . Pat Robertson was flamed
on a creationist TV talk show show for saying the earth
is not only 6,000 years old.  . . .  A  Maricopa  County
prosecutor argued before the  Arizona Supreme Court
that evidence of marijuana smoking weeks earlier  was
sufficient evidence for a DUI charge. . . . Home Depot
"tweeted"  a promotional photo of two black men  and
a gorilla drumming on buckets from its stores.

The "rabbit ball,"  accepted in professional baseball since
the Babe Ruth era, will finally arrive in college baseball in
2015. . . .

Jonathan Martin, a 6' 5", 312-pound offensive lineman, left
the National Football League's Miami Dolphins with "an e-
motional issue" over bullying by elder guard Richie Incog-
nito,  in person and by voice mail and Twitter,  including a
"lunchroom  prank"  in which other players got up to leave
when Martin sat down.

My wife and I have been happily married for 17 years.
We are both in our early 40's, fit, and active.  My wife
looks the same as the day we married.   She's very at-
tractive.  The  problem?  She has no  sex  drive.   She
never  has  had  –  but it's been cold shoulder the last
few years.

We have sex maybe once every two weeks.  It seems
that she enjoys it once we get rolling.   But when I ask
her why she likes  infrequent  encounters,  she says it's
"too much work."
                               Frustrated in Fredericksburg, Pa.

Who recorded the 1971 hit "One Toke Over the Line"?  (NO GOOGLING)

Ted Fiskevold wrote Mon 10/28/13 @18:31 CDT  re  "Roots
and grafts":

A beret is a head garment called a beret and is neither a
cap nor a hat.  Baseball caps are caps whether worn by
rednecks  or baseball players  or  worn  backwards  by
boys and girls,  young men and women,  or  older  men
and women who put caps on backward to appear youn-
ger, playful, or younger at heart.  And e-Bay should not
allow sellers to post ball caps under the name hat.

Nolan Porterfield wrote Sun 10/27/13 @14:45 CDT:

You can play baseball wearing a feed cap.

Answer to last week's question, is a fez a cap or a hat?

A fez is a hat, not a cap.

It's a matter of air space (hair space):  If the crown of your
head is not touching the crown of your headpiece, you are
wearing a hat, not a cap.

Look at the definitions printed with the question last week:
They're all over the place,  but  there  are some consisten-
cies.  Caps consist of soft material; hats are stiff.  It is the
stiffness that allows for the air space  (hair space).  Brims
and visors (beaks or bills) are of secondary consideration.
Brims can be stiff or soft,  and bills normally are stiff;  but
the question is whether the headpiece  is  soft  enough  to
grip and grab your head,  not merely sit on it.

All this should help you with this week's questions  (which
our correspondents have answered prematurely – and they
are close,  although there will be some argument about the
"beret"):

1. Is a beret a hat or a cap?
2. Do the Boston Red Sox wear baseball caps or baseball hats?
3. Do rednecks wear baseball caps or baseball hats?

Redneck wannabe; feed caps; Boston Red Sock

In a mock drug search to educate schoolchildren in the Clay
County Courthouse in Brazil,  a police dog bit a fifth-grader
in the leg.
                                                          [courtesy Brazil Times]

A deputy jailer impersonated the sheriff in an effort to get a
library card in Estill County.
                                                                [courtesy WKYT]

A state judge dismissed a slander suit against WHAS radio
host Terry Meiners,  of Louisville,  who had called an Afro-
American policeman who gave him a ticket "Black Barney"
on the air, and referred to him as a liar 15 times.  Freedom
of speech, you know.
                                                             [courtesy WHAS-TV]

Lexington's most wanted: Tracy Davis, WF, 41, 5'3", 155 lbs; Still wanted by her mother, children and ex-husbands: Nancy McCarty

                                                                                                                 [courtesy Herald-Leader]

"Throw it out and start over. . . . Canadians are not well known for being high
  technologists."
                               – John McAfee, on Healthcare.gov, constructed by the Canadian CGI Group

"You may have noticed that all the Nigerian e-mail scammers have become a lot less active lately.
 They all have been hired to run the Obamacare web site."
                                                                                                    – Senator Ted Cruz

"Starbucks revolutionized the coffee industry; now it's taking on tea."
                                                                                                                    – Renée Montagne

"Austin Hodge, [who] owns Seven Cups of Tea in Tucson, Arizona, . . . says Starbucks' decision
  will change the world tea industry."
                                                                  – Margot Adler

"OK, time to give more, time to build more bone."
                                                                                       – orthopedic surgeon Laura Tosi, quoting
                                                                                          bouncing's message to the brain

Kathryn Dawn Lang ("k. d. lang"), 52
Mohammad Reza Pahlavi Jr., 53
Andrea Mitchell, 67
Aga Khan III (1877-1957)
Marie Antoinette (1755-1793)
Daniel Boone (1734-1820)

Zoot Sims (1925-1985)

The  Nigerian  ambassador to the United States  demanded
an apology from Senator Ted Cruz. . . . McDonald's  drop-
ped  ketchup  from its array of available condiments  (first,
you no longer get enough salt  on  your  French  fries,  and
now?). . . . Two  men  speaking  Hebrew  on  the street  in
Janesville, Wisconsin,  were attacked and beaten by anoth-
er man for speaking  "Spanish". . . . Britney Spears records
were being played to drive off Somali pirates. . . . Paris Hil-
ton dressed up  as  Miley  Cyrus  for  Halloween. . . . Dogs
were getting high on drug users' excrement in city parks in
Berlin. . . . A 10-year-old Muslim boy was kicked off a bus
in Brooklyn, New York,  and called a terrorist,  for praying
as he got on. .  .  . Sarah Palin said Jesus celebrated Easter.
. . .Hallmark changed the lyrics to a popular Christmas car-
ol, on an ornament it sells,  to "Don we now our fun appar-
el."
         [courtesy Harper's Weekly, Raw Story, MSNBC, AP]

Game 4 of the Word Series ended when a pinch runner
for the St. Louis Cardinals was picked off first base (the
Red Sox won, 4-2). . . .

In game 6, the Cardinals had a runner in a run-down be-
tween first and second base and, failing to leave an anch-
or at first,  failed to tag him out.   (The Red Sox won the
fifth and sixth games,  3-1  and 6-0,  and  the  Series,  4
games to 2.) . . .

A male quartet  of the Boston "punk Celtic" band "Drop-
kick Murphys," wearing Red Sox uniforms, sang the Na-
tional Anthem at the 6th game,  to accompaniment by ac-
cordion,  and sang it right. . . .

The National Basketball Association season  began last
Tuesday, October 29 – exactly halfway through the Na-
tional Football League  season,  and on the "travel day"
between the fifth and sixth games  of  baseball's  World
Series.

Editorial:

In all the hoo-doo over the fielder obstruction call that
ended Game 3 of the World Series, all the commenta-
tors (including umpires) saying umpire Jim Joyce had
no choice  seem to have overlooked something:  Red
Sox  third baseman  Will Middlebrooks'  tangle  with
Cardinals base runner  Allen Craig  occurred  not  in
Craig's base path from third base to home plate, but
in the second-to-third- base  path.  Craig,  who  had
already touched third base but wound up lying on the
ground behind Middlebrooks,  attempted a short cut
to home by leaping Middlebrooks' body  instead  of
going around him for the prescribed route home.   If
he had taken the home plate base path,  he wouldn't
have tripped over Middlebrooks.

Putting one little word after another, and let's try this:
You need one more run to  tie  or win the game;  it's
the bottom of the ninth inning with two out, and you
hit a routine ground ball to second base.  Instead of
running straight to first base you head for the mound,
where  the pitcher has thrown himself to the  ground
in celebration and exuberance.  You trip over the pit-
cher earning yourself an "obstruction" call and a base
hit, "safe at first."  You eventually score, tying or win-
ning the game by the Jim Joyce rule.

Wait, you say!  That's running outside the base path,
putting you out under Rule 7.08?  OK, let's put one
little word before another, and why didn't any of the
umpires in game 3 of this year's  World  Series  call
Craig  out  for  running  outside  the base path,  in-
stead of awarding him home plate?

(Joyce blew another call, at home plate,  in the bot-
 tom of the third inning of the sixth and final game of
 the Series, in Boston.  The 2013 World Series may
 not have been the worst umpired in history,  but  it
 was easily the worst in your Editor's 65-year mem-
 ory.

What is your opinion on co-sleeping? My husband and
his daughter and I all sleep in  the  same  bed.  My hus-
band loves it, saying he knows where both of his beau-
tiful ladies are at night.  When  we  want  to make love,
we wait until his daughter is not in the bed, or we go to
the spare bedroom.
                                                                Pennsylvania