William and Harry order Diana's body exhumed to prove their dad killed their mom (Globe); Fed probes on two crimes, Hillary going to jail, smoking gun e-mail, lied in murder case (Enquirer)

Bruce Mitchell wrote Sat 10/18/15 @22:25 PDT:

Éamon de Valera (1882-1975),  president of Ireland:   Surely
you did not mean to suggest he was president from  birth  to
death.

Our phrase, "Éamon de Valera, president of Columbia Ireland (1882-
1975)," does suggest that; but we did not intend to.  Your rephrase
removes that suggestion by putting the appositive after the dates
(and keeping the dates in parentheses).  Thank you.    – Editor

and Bruce wrote Sat 10/18/15 @22:30 PDT:

"Sportswriting"?  Aren't you violating your own standards?

Touché.  "Sports writing."  Two words.    – Ed.

A 19-year-old Indiana University student  shouting  "white
power –  kill  them  all"  grabbed  a Muslim woman by the
neck at the Sofra Cafe in Bloomington, forced her head to
the table and tried to rip off her scarf. . . .

South Bend's most wanted, Jamie Davis, WF, 5'7", 150 lbs, meth use & firewater; Berrien County, Michigan's, Eveline Nicole Cotton, BF, cold check; Janelle Helen Tipton, WF, manufacture of meth; Toshima Airelle Hull, BF, assault, malicious destruction of property; Wendy Ann Cockrun, WF, retail fraud (Michiana Crimer Stoppers)

A federal judge enjoined enforcement of the state's  "ballot
selfies law" that makes it a felony to post photos of a mark-
ed ballot on "social media." . . .

Two cafeteria workers, backed by the American Civil Lib-
erties Union,  sued Brownsburg schools for threatened dis-
cipline over their posting on  "social  media"  of  criticism
of the schools' spending. . . .

Manure bags were found unsafe for horses in LaGrange. . . .

An Einstein zombie battled dinosaurs at an Indiana Univer-
sity science festival.
                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

The Kentucky Mist Moonshine distillery,  in  Whites-
burg,  received a "cease and desist" letter from an at-
torney for the University of Kentucky asserting UK's
ownership of the word  "Kentucky"  and  demanding
that the distillery quit using it.

                                       [Lexington Herald-Leader]

The people of Wilmore rallied to keep  a  cross  atop
the city water tower in the face of a lawsuit  threaten-
ed by the Freedom from Religion foundation.
                                                                        [WTVQ]

 [Courier-Journal]                                                     

The Oldham County Attorney argued in court that being
Hispanic was probable cause for a traffic stop.

                            [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

"People charged with crimes, they are criminals."
                                                                                    – Judge Marcus Gordon, Scott County, Mississippi

"I don't want to be the third log on the fire."
                                                                              – Congressman Paul Ryan

"So there's still a ways to go."
                                                        – Nell Greenfield-Boyce, National Public Radio

"The ability to vet those ideas and work through them
 go away."
                      – Congressman David Schweikert (R-Ariz.)

"I trust Bernie Sanders with my tax dollars like I trust a North Korean chef
 with my Labrador."
                                       – Mickey Huxterbe

"I’m Presbyterian.  That’s down the middle of road.  I mean, Seventh-Day Adventist
 [Dr. Casey's church], I don’t know about."
                                                                            – Donald Strump

"I'm glad I'm not in this race."
                                                    – Mitt Romney

Quotations of the Wheat: "I'm going as a liberal on Hallowe'en.  I'll take all the trick-or-treaters'  candy and give it to the kids who are too lazy to trick-or-treat." – Leonard Simon

                    October 22:   Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, 67
                                         

Playboy magazine announced that it would quit publish-
ing nude photos of women. . . .  Henriette Reker was e-
lected mayor of Cologne, Germany, after being stabbed
in the neck for supporting refugees. . . . Russia ran tests
to see if it could remove itself from the internet. . . .  Il-
linois, facing a budget crisis, stiffed lottery winners on
$288 million (but continued to hype the lottery on TV).
. . . Fifteen women withdrew from the Miss Iraq beauty
pageant after two contestants got death threats. .  .  .  A
man playing policeman pulled over a deputy sheriff  in
an unmarked car in  Escambia County,  Florida  (guess
who got arrested). . . . A man in a motored wheel chair
blocking several lanes of traffic on a bridge in Brevard
County, Florida, was arrested for DUI.  . . .  A 35-year-
old woman took off her clothes at a  Subway  sandwich
shop in Anchorage, Alaska, and trashed the joint. . . . A
jury  in  Bridgeport,  Connecticut,  found an 8-year-old
boy not negligent  in giving his aunt an exuberant hug at
his birthday party, breaking her wrist (she had sued him
for $127,000). .  .  . Forty-two persons were killed in a
bus crash in France. . . . A meerkat expert was fined for
striking a monkey handler in the face with a  wine  glass
in a romantic dispute over a llama keeper in London, En-
gland. . . . A hen  "tweeted"  "0 j5cq0 OOOP 43 0 / g 2"
for an Australian fast food chicken chain. .  .  .  A mama
cat broke into a veterinary clinic in New Zealand  to re-
unite with her abandoned kittens.

                                                [courtesy Harper's,  AP]

              
                                   

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Ricky Stroope, WM, 48, 5'9", 195 lbs, parole violation (burglary); Michael Stroope, WM, 45, 160 lbs, parole violation (burglary); Bethany Clark, WF, 28, 5'5", 165 lbs, parole violation (burglary); Justin Porter, 35, 5'10", 250 lbs, parole violation (possession of meth); Richard Cerda, HM, 33, 5'7", 200 lbs, parole violation (possession of coke) (Abilene Crime Stopppers); Bobby Wallace, WM, 55, 5'11", 220 lbs, parole violation (possession of controlled substance); Bobby Short, WM, 46, 5'11", 165 lbs, parole violation (burglary); Samantha Baldwin, WF, 30, 5'5", 170 lbs, parole violation (possession of certain chemicals); Gabriel Hernandez, HF (sic), 31, 6'0", 190 lbs, parole violation (assault); Eric King, BM, 29, 5'11", 240 lbs, parole violation (poss. of coke); Krystal Griffin, WF, 26, 5'1", 155 lbs, parole violation (poss. of morphine); James Peterson, BM, 48, 5'9", 185 lbs, parole violation (credit card abuse)

Of the major league baseball playoff games last Tuesday
and Wednesday (two a day), the day games were played
indoors  (in  Toronto),  under  the  lights;  and  the  night
games were played in  Chicago's  Wrigley  Field  (which
was famous for having no lights  until 1988),  under  the
lights.  None of these games was on TV,  of course. . . .

In  memoriam,  your  editor  has  written  a new popular
song, "The Cubs Is Dead" (that's a YouTube link):

It's not Tinker to Evers to Chance;
The Cubs can't get back to the Dance:
Neither Sutcliffe nor Sosa nor Banks
Could get Wrigley out of the tank.

Hack Wilson gave blood, sweat and tears,
Seven hundred BI's in five years;
One World Series, in the '29 fall;
Won a game from the A's, that was all.

Cavaretta hit .355,
Pafko, one-ten RBI's;
'45, that's the last time they went:
Got close six more times, but hell-bent.

You can't blame it on one billy goat;
It has more to do with the throat:
Not Steve Bartman, not Santo's black cat,
The Cubs choke when they get close, that's that!

            Greg Maddux, Lou Brock . . .
 
Where have you gone, Ernie Broglio?
A city turns its lonely eyes to you. . . .

                                © 2015 Natty Bumppo
                                    accompanied by Steve Yates

My husband has two teen-agers, a boy and girl, from a prior
marriage.  I don't know how to put this tastefully; so I'll just
say my stepchildren are "too close."  They flirt and playfully
touch each other all the time.    A few people have even mis-
taken them for a couple. My husband doesn't seem to notice
this unhealthy behavior.  How can I get through to him?

                                                        Repulsed in Pennsylvania

Heather Dodson

Patient's shocking tell-all: Ben Carson butchered my brain (Enquirer); Cruel Jim Carrey drove lover to suicide (Globe); Anita Bryant: BROKE! (Examiner); Congress leader McCarthy enters rehap admitting struggles with nouns, verbs (Borowitz)

Honkin de Spain wrote Mon 9/21/15 re Jonathan Vance, want-
ed in South Bend,  Indiana,  for "failure to appear for domestic
violence":

I wouldn't want to show up for that either.  Who wants to
be abused?

Shaniquea Nutter, 22, of Huntington, got 6 years for allowing
her 3-week-old daughter to suck heroin off her finger. . . .

A candidate for mayor of Richmond who is ineligible because
she moved outside the city refused to withdraw. . . .

Goshen schools chose four "inoffensive" finalists  to  replace
their Redskins mascot – Gladiators, Red Hawks, Spartans and
Wolfpack.
                                                  [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Aqondius Moss, BM, 5'9", 130 lbs, motor vehicle theft; Dawan Anderson, BM, 6'1", 205 lbs, battery; Betty Jo Crawford, BF, 5'2", 140 lbs, Theft, probation violation; Brian Browning, WM, 5'11", 230 lbs, fraud; Bryan Gillespie, BM, 6'3", 160 lbs, battery (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A 74-year-old Paducah woman with 28  cats  in her home was
found guilty of 28 counts of animal cruelty  (it took authorities
4 days to catch all 28)  and was limited to 3 cats as a condition
of probation.
                                                                        [courtesy Lex18]

Lexington's most wanted: Douglas Stidham, WM, 5'9", 160 lbs, threatening; Christina Burton, WF, 5'3", 130 lbs; Maurice Haynes, BM, 6'4", 200 lbs (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Governor Stevie renamed a section of State Highway 80  from
Somerset to London the  Hal Rogers Parkway,  after  the long-
time Republican congressman  (still serving),  joining an earli-
er section of the Hal Rogers Parkway from London to Hazard,
63 miles long,  previously known as  the  Daniel  Boone  Park-
way.  The newly renamed section was previously  the  Russell
S. Dyche Memorial Highway,  named  for  a London publisher
who served as state parks commissioner  (many  already  were
calling the longer section the  Hal  Boone  Parkway – so  how
'bout, now, the Hal Boone Dyche Highway?).
                                                                           [Herald-Leader]

"It is total confusion – a banana republic."
                                                                            – Congressman Peter King (R-N.Y.)

"You can continue serving cheese when they are at their best."
                                                                                                                  – chef Jacques Pepin

"I wouldn't be doing this dumb ass live-streaming if I weren't.  Yes, I'm running for President.
 Get over it."
                             – Rant Pol, "live-streaming" an entire day on the campaign trail in Iowa

Quotations of the Wheat: "Once you go twatbot, you won't go back." – Leonard Simon

October 15:  

Spencer Stone,  who was slashed with a box cutter two
months ago throttling a terrorist  on  a  train  in  France,
was  stabbed  in  a  brawl  outside a night club in Sacra-
mento,  California. . . . Pope Jorge Francis called Chile-
an protesters "dumb." .  .  .  China had a 50-lane traffic
jam. . . . The Clutterbook Facebook page of Something
Long And Complicated (his real name), of London, En-
gland,  was suspended  temporarily. . . . Five  lions  left
behind when a Romanian zoo closed in  2013  were fi-
nally moved to a sanctuary in  South  Africa. .  .  . U.S.
Ambassador to Denmark Rufus Gifford  called his gay
marriage to Stephen DeVincent a "fairy tale."

                                                [courtesy Harper's, AP]

If your batted ball hits the "roof" (sic – they meant the ceiling)
of the baseball stadium in Houston,  it's a fair ball  – and that's
the rule that deprived  Colby  Rasmus  of a  home  run  in  last
week's playoffs  (and it's another good reason to play baseball
outdoors, not indoors). . . .

They weren't going to have a  "subway  series"  in Texas any-
way, but they could have had a "Chisholm Trail" series if the
Toronto Blue Jays had  not  eliminated  the  Rangers  and  the
Kansas City Royals had  not  eliminated  the  Houston Astros
in  the  final games of the American League  divisional  base-
ball playoffs.   The Rangers took the lead over Toronto,  3-2,
on an error by the catcher throwing the ball back to the pitch-
er  in the top of the 7th inning,  but the Jays came back to take
the lead 6-3 in the bottom of the 7th on five errors by the Ran-
gers, the first three by shortstop Elvis Andrus on the first three
plays  (although one of those was called on the first baseman,
and one of the five – an uncaught bloop to center  field – was
not called at all).  The  Jays  won  8-4.   (We'd give you links,
but you cannot find intelligible sportswriting  and  box scores
on the internet.) . . .

The first game of the American League  championship  series,
between the Royals and the Blue Jays, was on Fox TV Friday
night;  but none of the other playoff games was  or  will be on
TV (maybe the World Series will be). . . .

"They" say Roog-ned O-dure (rhymes with "Boog-          fed  Manure")  for the Texas Rangers' star second          baseman  Rougned   "Stinky"  Odor,  but  we  say          Rough Ned Odor  (the way it's spelled).

I have a friend whose 11-year-old grandson stays  overnight
with her sometimes  on  weekends.  She  has  only  one  bed-
room,  and I'm concerned  because he still sleeps with her in
the same bed.   She says there is nothing wrong with it.   I e-
ven purchased a nice air mattress, very easy to inflate, which
she accepted but doesn't use.  I'm upset by this situation. She
sometimes sleeps in revealing nighties (although I don't know
if she does when her grandson is there).

I find this sick and twisted.  I am counting on you to set my
friend straight and save this young boy from future turmoil.

                                                        Protective in Washington

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Kara Jennings, WF, 53, 5"7", 140 lbs, assault on a public servant (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

lobotomy horror, how doctors destroyed Rosemary's brain to cover up sex scandal (Globe); Hillary: 6 months to live! brain cancer and blood clots, MS, strokes, alcohol abuse (Enquirer); Lucy & Ethel: The truth about their romance, were they real life lovers? (Examiner); W enjoying new status as the smarter Bush (Borowitz); Koch brothers' billion$ plan to be first to pollute water on Mars (Borowitz)

Len Zanger wrote Sun 10/4/15 @13:30 EDT re President O-
bama's redundancy "pre-war status quo":

Should have been "status quo ante bellum, " I think.
It wasn't redundant, just inconcisten.  It should be
all Latin or none.

Honkin  de Spain  wrote Mon 9/21/15  re  our  singling  out

Hoosiers for the ignorant pronunciation "crick" for "creek":

In northern Virginia my parents called the flow through
our six acres of woods  "the  crick."   My dad was from
Minnesota; my mother, from Pennsylvania. My mother
was fairly ignorant;  but Dad was an inventor, and a ge-
nius.

The National Register of Historic Places denied Indiana's
request to move a two-span steel truss bridge from Bowl-
ing Green, in Clay County,  to two separate spots on a hi-
kers' trail in Brown County. . . .

Two students,  15 and 16,  were  arrested  for hacking the
computers of the Elkhart Community Schools, in Elkhart. . . .

A student, his father and the ACLU sued Concord Commu-
nity Schools in Elkhart  over the annual Christmas nativity
scene. . . .

Michigan's black bear returned to the Indiana Dunes. . . .

More than 1,600 signatures have been obtained on a petition
to require horses to wear manure bags in  LaGrange  County,
where about 14,000 Amish make up about 40 per cent of the
population.
                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

A 97-pound woman with one leg, convicted of throwing a 187-
pound man off a bridge to his death  (but found innocent  after
serving 8 years in prison  and the confession of another),  sued
the state police detective who got her indicted. . . .

The annual swim from Cincinnati, Ohio, to Kentucky and back
was canceled because of algae blooms in the Ohio River.

                                       [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

The owner of Captive Born Reptiles, a "pet" shop in Newport,
was bitten and embraced by a 20-foot, 125-pound  python  he
was feeding (police, one of whom had experience with snakes,
came  to  the  rescue,  wresting  the snake from the man's neck
and wrangling it back into its cage).
                                                                         [courtesy WCPO]

 

Lexington's most wanted: Brittany Collins, WF, 5'4", 140 lbs (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald Leader)

  

Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Shaquille Delaney, BM, delivery of crack cocaine; Jacqueline Shamay Williams, BF, home invastion; Jerome Jermiah Winbush, BM, absconding parole, tampering with an electronic monitoring device (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

"I learned to drive in Illinois.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered that in California
  a stop sign is only a suggestion.  Once when I was sitting at a stop sign  in  Hollywood,
  a panhandler asked if I had any spare cell phone minutes."
                                                                                                         – €“ Dick Helton

"I want to enjoy this beautiful moment with Dirk."
                                                                                 – Udo Figge, King of the Marksmen in Düsseldorf

"Absolutely, well, you know, yeah, absolutely, . . . ."
                                                                                            – Rasha Elass, yet another journalist
                                                                                               who seems unable to begin a sentence
                                                                                               without a conjunction or interjection

"So, like, . . . , and, like, . . . but, like, . . . . So, like,  . . . ."
                                                                                               – Hannah White, 15, violin prodigy

"So, . . . .  So, . . . .  So, . . . .  So, . . . .  So, . . . ."
                                                                                       – U.S. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew
                                                                                              (begins at 1:10 in audio clip)

"So, . . . .  You know, . . . .  So, . . . .  You know, . . . .  So, . . . .  You know, . . . ."
                                                                                                                                   – Jack Lew (1:50)

"Cheese are very expensive."
                                                          – acclaimed chef Jacques Pepin (give a Frenchman an Eng-
                                                             lish word with an s in it and he will give it a plural verb)

"Gravity – where did it come from?"
                                                                     – Dr. Casey

RSM International:  "Experience the power of being understood."

Quotations of the Wheat: "Oh, she's worried that my power over the robot will lead to a power play over  something else?  She's worried about my toaster oven?" – Leonard Simon

Wanted in Waco: Kimberly C. Higgs, WF, 47, 5'3", 130 lbs, theft; Lakeisha Monique Price, BF, 34, 5'6", 145 lbs, forgery; Latasha N. Carter, BF, 3, 5'3", 140 lbs, forgery, probation violation (Waco P.D.)

Jerónimo Gimenez y Bellido (1854-1923)
                    October 11: Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
                   

ISIS (IS, ISIL) opened amusement parks in Fallujah,  I-
raq, and Raqqa,  Syria. . . . Augustus Sol Invictus, Lib-
ertarian candidate for Senator from Florida, sacrificed
a goat and drank its blood in the  Mojave  Desert  after
hiking there from Florida two years ago. . . .  Ozzie the
Bald Eagle died after an aerial battle with Frequent Vi-
sitor the Eagle over Harriet the Eagle near Fort Myers,
Florida. . . . A black widow spider found in the Gold-
en, Colorado, police station was exterminated by an
officer  in  full  riot  gear  (a black widow found  in a
back yard in Barrhven,  Ontario,  was  named  Black
Betty  and put up  for  adoption).  .  .  . Wonky  Horns,
Norway's  oldest  cow,  was slaughtered for sausage
at age 20. . . . A 53-year-old Spartanburg, South Car-
olina,  man called  911  to complain that his woman
"would not give him any ass." .  .  . The world did not
end last Wednesday. . . .  An 11-year-old boy  fired  a
shotgun  from  his  mobile  home  in Douglas County,
eastern Tennessee, and killed an 8-year-old girl who
refused to let him see her new puppies.

                      [courtesy Harper's, Huffington Post, AP]

The National Football League's  New  York  Jets  shipped 350 rolls
of toilet paper to London for its game there against the Miami Dol-
phins  (the Jets won, 27-14). . . .

Why did they let the Toronto Blue Jays catcher, the Canadian-born
Russell Martin,  sing the U.S. National Anthem  at  the  "American"
League playoffs in Toronto while Royal Canadian Mounties stood
at attention?  Well, maybe because he sang it right – unlike most A-
merican divas (we're talking you, Jordyn Sparks, and Christina Ag-
uilera, and Susan Tedeschi, and Mary J. Bilge).  He was  a  bit  off
key, but he's a baseball player, not a singer  (sorry, no video found).
They left "O! Canada!" to the stadium organist. . . .

 

 

The St. Louis Browns and the St. Louis Cardinals played a "sub-
way" World Series in 1944 (well, not exactly – they both played
in the same stadium, Sportsman's Park, and the fans could not get
to the games by subway because St. Louis did not have a subway
in 1944 – and has very little of one now).  It was the only World
Series the Browns ever played in (the Cardinals won, 4 games to
2).  The Chicago White Sox and the Chicago Cubs had a subway
series in 1906 (well, not exactly – Chicago did not yet have a sub-
way in 1906, but only an "L,"  for elevated; €“  the White Sox won,
4-2); the Oakland A's played a subway ("BART") series with the
San Francisco Giants in 1988  (the A's swept,  4-0,  in 15 days –
this was the series better known as the "Earthquake Series"; there
were some interruptions);  the New York Yankees played six sub-
way series against the New York Giants (1921-1951, wining four
of them) and seven subway series against  the  Brooklyn  Dodgers
(1941-1956, winning all but the next to last of them), and the Bos-
ton Braves and Boston Red Sox almost played a subway series in
1948 (the Braves won the National League pennant with "Spahn
and Sain and pray for Rain, and Red Sox tied the Cleveland Indi-
ans for the American League pennant;  but  the  Indians  won the
right to go to the Series in a one-game playoff).  The Yankees and
the New York Mets have not yet met in a World Series,  and  the
Los Angeles Dodgers  and  the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim"
never will meet in a "subway series"  because  (1) they are not e-
ven in the same city,  let alone in the same county  (the five "bor-
oughs" of New York were in separate counties originally  but  in
the same city),  and  (2) Southern California does not even have
buses, let alone subways (not counting sandwich shops).

                                                                                      [Wikipedia]

My stepmother said it was impolite of me to ask my daughter
if she wanted "more beans" at the dining room table. And she
said my daughter was rude, too, in replying, "No, thanks, I've
had enough."  Where does this evil woman get off?

                                                                         Happy to Oblige

Hillary confesses: I'm a lesbian, secret e-mails reveal lover, midnight calls to Ellen (Globe); Kim Jenner fumes as her body is insured for only $10 million, sister Kim Kardashian's butt alone brings $20 million (Enquirer); Twitter: No trending topics today (Onion); Delirious rover hallucinates water on Mars (Onion)

Bruce Mitchell wrote Sun 9/27/15 @02:58 PDT re the Grieving
Pastor's lament of bad funeral behavior:

I'm sympathetic to the family and their feelings about it,  but
I'm also pretty sure that the ability to "humiliate that person"
in the casket ceased at death.

Honkin de Spain wrote Mon 9/21/15 re Jamie Overpeck, whose
face has appeared three times now in Tabloid Headlines:

Her mother is/was a chick|en?   Her father is/was a cock?
She's been pecked over?  She pecked over her neighbor's
property once too often? A real peckerhead. Is she a can-
didate in the annual Penis with Ears Lookalike Contest?

Charged with burglary?  I'd say weed, too, from the look
in her eyes.

The  Indiana House of Representatives majority leader,  Jud
McMillin,  resigned from the House with a  cell   phone  text
message saying, "My phone was stolen 24 hours ago in Can-
ada.  I have just been able to reactivate it under  my  control.
Please disregard any messages you received recently.  I  am
truly sorry for anything offensive you may have received." . . .

Schools o' Goshen have abandoned the nickname Redskins
and are holding a contest for a new one  (how 'bout,  Land-
o's?). . . .
                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Alexis Wecht, WF, 5'2", 160 lbs, assisting a criminal; Shiesha Peterson, BF, 5'3", 180 lbs, misconduct with a minor (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Angela Jeanine Johnson, WF, assault on police officer (note traditional spelling of middle name) (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Miki Lynn Wagley, WF, larceny in a building; Renée Lynn Krueger Hotwagner, WF, welfare fraud; Tiera Ruth Moore, WF, aremed robbery

A man in Walton beat his former girl friend,  got his pit bull to
help him scalp her  (it bit off her ear),  and made her look in a
mirror before driving her to her mother's and  dumping  her in
the  yard  (he was arrested for assault  and harboring a vicious
animal).  She said he was upset about a Clutterbook Facebook
post she had made.
                                                                         [courtesy Fox19]

A 5-year-old boy was run over and killed by a school bus he had
just got off in Butler County as he walked in front of it to the res-
idence of his grandmother.
                                                                     [courtesy WBKO-TV]

Two school buses collided in Shelby County, sending 13 pupils
to the hospital.
                                                                          [courtesy WHAS]

A school bus ran into a tree in Laurel County (one child was ta-
ken to the hospital).
                                                                          [courtesy WKYT]

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis met the Pope at the Vatican Em-
bassy in Washington, D.C., but the Vatican said it wasn't quite the
private audience she let on. . . .

The state's Democratic and Republican candidates for lieutenant
governor are,  respectively,  Sannie [sic] Overly and Jenean [sic]
Hampton.
                                           [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

The Bank of Edmonson County, in Brownsville, has both a "CEO"
and a "President"  (and they are younger sister  and  older brother,
respectively,  children of the chairwoman of the board).

                                                                      [courtesy the Gimlet]

Midway College  (enrollment 1,800),  in  Midway  (pop. 1,657),
midway between Frankfort and Lexington, has decided it is a u-
niversity.   Does anyone remember when Wabash,  DePauw and
Harvard were mere "colleges"?
                                                                          [courtesy the web]

Lexington's most wanted: Chreva Wallace, BF, 27, 5'1", 110 lbs; Kara Newburg, WF, 30, 5'3", 180 lbs (pulled kicking & screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"We are all lesbians."
                                        – Natty Bumppo

"So  . . . .  . . .  So . . . ."
                                            – Joby Warrick,  author of Black Flags,  out last Tuesday,  in  an
                                               interview on National Public Radio's Morning Edition  (so, we
                                               are wondering, does every sentence in the book begin with "So"?)
"So . . . ."
                            – Renée Montagne, interviewing him
"Absolutely."
                                        – Joby Warrick

"He is pretty much done for."
                                                       – Rant Pol, re Tez Crud
"Stuff happens."
                                – Jub Bosh, re the shooting in Oregon

Quotations of the Wheat: "Who is this Kathleen Richardson?  Has  she  ever fucked a robot?  Do robots call   her at home?  I hear they come in two power modes – AC and DC." – Leonard Simon

" . . . the pre-war status quo."
                                                    – President Obama

                                             

A woman flying home from an anniversary celebration
in Hawaii found an airsick bag filled with vomit i n the
back seat pocket in front of her. .  .  . A passenger on a
flight from Edinburgh to Amsterdam  tried to open the
exit door at  30,000 feet,  saying he thought it was the
restroom door. . . . An 8-year-old girl who wore a Kel-
ly  green  shirt  to school in  Sicklerville,  New  Jersey,
was suspended for a day for violating  the  dress  code,
which allows only white, dark green and navy. . . . The
Pope said the mayor of Rome,  who supports gay mar-
riage and euthanasia,  "pretends to be Catholic." . . . A
Raw Story columnist  branded  Presidential  candidate
Charly Fiorenza the "campaign's biggest liar." . . . Bruce
Jenner was not charged in a fatal California highway ac-
cident. . . . Saudi  Prince  Khaled  al-Faisal  blamed last
week's deadly Hajj stampede on "some pilgrims from Af-
rican nationalities." .  .  . British  Prime  Minister  David
Cameron denied that he had put his penis in the mouth of
a dead pig when he was a student. .  .  .  Schools in Mer-
cer Island, Washington,  banned  tag  (but relented when
parents protested).  . . .  An ex-convict who shoplifted a
spoon from a Wal-Mart in St. Petersburg,  Florida,  was
charged with a felony. . . . A man shot himself in the pe-
nis in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and a man shot himself
in the balls in Brooklyn, New York.

                 [courtesy Harper's, HuffPost, Raw Story, AP]

The sports:

The St. Louis Browns were the only team of the traditional  20th  cen-
tury major league baseball teams – eight in the National League, eight
in the American €– never to win a World Series.   The  Brooklyn  Dod-
gers finally won a series in 1955,  and the Philadelphia Phillies finally
won one in 1980  (eleven  years  after New York's "expansion" team,
the "Miracle Mets," won their first in 1969). Of the other "expansion"
teams,  the Houston Astros,  the Texas Rangers  (once the new Wash-
ington Senators),  the Montreal Expos  (now  the Washington Nation-
als),  the  San  Diego  Padres,  the Tampa Bay Rays,  the  Milwaukee
Brewers,  the Colorado Rockies and the Seattle Mariners have yet to
win a World Series – and the Mariners have not even been there.

The Browns, who lost their only World Series to the St. Louis Cardinals
in 1944, moved to Baltimore in 1954 to become the new Baltimore Ori-
oles,  who have won three World Series, beginning in 1966.  There was
a 19th century team from Baltimore known as the Orioles in the Ameri-
can Association and later the National League,  where  they  won three
pennants in a row (1894-1896) and national championships in 1896 and
1897 before being dissolved.   A new Baltimore Orioles franchise enter-
ed the new American League in 1901  but moved to New York  in 1903
to become the  Highlanders  (later the Yankees).   A minor league Balti-
more  Orioles  ensued,  including  Babe  Ruth,  and won six straight pen-
nants in the International League (1919-1925, beginning five years after
Ruth had ascended to the major leagues).

The St. Louis Browns began life as the  Milwaukee  Brewers  in 1878  in
the minors' Western League, who became a National League team in 18-
78 and then one of the original teams of the  American  League  in  1901.
In 1902 they moved to St. Louis to become the Browns, named after the
old  St.  Louis  Brown  Stockings,  née 1875,  who became the St. Louis
Browns in 1883,  joined the National League in 1891,  and  became  the
Cardinals in 1898.

So, quick review (including history presented last week):  (1) The Bos-
ton Red Sox took their name, indirectly, from the Cincinnati Red Stock-
ings, who became the Boston Red Stockings and eventually the Boston
Braves (the Boston Americans, of separate genealogy, adopted the Red
Sox moniker after their crosstown rivals abandoned it). (2) The St. Lou-
is Cardinals were originally the St. Louis Brown Stockings and then the
St. Louis Browns,  and the St. Louis Browns were initially the Milwau-
kee Brewers.  (3) The Chicago Cubs,  not the White Sox,  began as the
Chicago White Stockings.  (4) The  Milwaukee Brewers were resurrec-
ted at least twice,  as a minor league team in the American Association
and later as an "expansion" team in the majors' American League after
the Boston Milwaukee Braves left town, and later yet (in 1998) bolted
the American League for the National League.

More next week.

Last weekend we had our children and grandkids over.    We
looked after the little ones, cooked, waited on everyone, and
cleaned up afterward while the adults sat texting and playing
on their cell phones.

Eleanor, this is not so much a question as an observation for
anyone of any age who is invited to  visit  someone€™s  home:
Spending time on a cell phone instead of socializing is rude.

                                       Disconnected in Midtown, Tennessee