:

Jay Cory wrote:Sun 3/22/20 @13:04 EDT:

I've heard the coronavirus referred to as the "Boomer Remover."
It may be what saves Social Security.

endicott.jpg Wanted in Crawfordsville (by the Montgomery County Sheriff): Brandi Endicott, 38, meth; Amanda J. Fry, 31, theft; Tasha L. Mccray, 27, fraud

Governor Eric Holcomb ordered Hoosiers to "stay at home." . . .

The  Indianapolis  Archdiocese  stopped a Terre Haute priest's
drive-up confessions. . . .

A 17-year-old Brownsburg girl founded Oinking Acres and has
rescued 160 pot-bellied pigs.
                                                         [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

Rand Paul tested positive for coronavirus – as did a person who
attended a "coronavirus party." . . .

A 3-year-old boy shot himself to death in Lexington. . . .

The new Guvvernor, Andy Beshear, successor to Selfie, in boots,
lic  television  forum  focusing on the coronavirus crisis  popularly
known as "Afternoons with Andy."

The principal of a Bourbon County middle school rewrote Dolly
Parton's song "Jolene" to go "Quarantine."
                                                                           [courtesy LEX18]

Here's another Covid-19 song, "Toilet Paper Apocalypse,"  writ-
ten and recorded by another Kentuckian, Whiskey Dick, of Clin-
ton County.  Or you can watch it on YouTube,  acted out by a lit-
tle boy.

weaverjo.jpg Lexington's most wanted (at least they were, sometime in February, but they've all been - see the red letters [APPREHENDED]: Joey Weaver,WM, 63, 6'2", 240 lbs, whackin'; Tianna Travis,BF, 24, 5'6", 130 lbs, slackin'; Mackenzie Stewart, WF, 24, 5'6", 115 lbs, crackin', Michael Smith, BM, 34, 5'5", 169 lbs, shellackin'; Robert Stewart, WM, 36, 165 lbs, hackin' (dragged kicking & screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "Excuse me, miss – if Covid-19 doesn't take you         out, may I?"                                                                  – Leonard Simon

christop.jpg Wichita Falls' Criminal Cathedral Choir; Christopher James Brett Clover, WM, 37, 5'7", 280 lbs, tenor, leader of choir, failure to reg.; Rachel Contreras, WM, 38, 5'4", 175 lbs, soprano, bond forfeiture (controlled substances); J Coffman, WF, 37, 5'9"; 238 lbs (Yorkshire hog), alto, bnd. forfeiture (burglary); Miller Lee Williams, BM, 46, 5'10", 140 lbs, bass, forgery (Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week) (Wichita Falls, Texas, Crime Stoppers); sykeslew.jpg Also wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Fred Sykes, BM, 47, 5'6",215 lbs, parole violation (DUIx3+); Tracy Ann Jackson, BF, 44, 5'3", 96 lbs, p.v. (assault p.o.); Roosevelt Lewis, BM, 75, 5'4", 120 lbs, failure to register

                                    

Coronavirus victim of the week

Harvey Weinstein,  Prince Charles,  Jackson Browne  and Boris John-
son tested  positive. . . . As did Amy Klobuchar's husband. . . . A man
was arrested in  Manalaplan,  New  Jersey,  for coughing on a grocery
store clerk and telling her he had coronavirus. . . . Pennsylvania desig-
nated beer distributors  as  "life-sustaining  services,"  and New York
deemed liquor stores "essential businesses." . . .  Gun  shops  were or-
ered closed in Los Angeles as nonessential. . . .United Airlines was u-
sing passenger planes to carry "critical goods." . . . The NT (Northern
Territory) News,  a tabloid in Australia,  published an issue with eight
blank pages to relieve toilet paper shortage.  .  .  . The New York City
Health and Mental Hygiene Department  recommended masturbation
in lieu of rim jobs. . . .The Pacific Gas & Electric Company agreed to
plead guilty to 84 counts of manslaughter  in  California. . . . Meghan
Markle was hired to narrate the Disney nature film Elephants.

                                                              [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

deambroi.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Justin Markel Fields, BM, 34, 6'2", 240 lbs, tattoos "Jalisa" on neck, "Karma" on right shoulder, prob. viol (robbery, drugs); Nathan Legrant Atkinson, BM, 55, 5'10", 208 lbs, aggravat. assault; Javen Lee Cole Jr., BM, 20, 5'8", 144 lbs, tattoos "P" & lips on neck, "Jessicaa" & "Cole" on arms, aggr. robbery; Deambrois Savoy Harold, BM, 32, 5'11", 160 lbs, tattoos finger, neck, arms, marijuana, heroin; Felton Talib Williams III, BM, 19, 5'7", 142 lbs, tattoo "GRITTER" on neck, probatiohn viol. (mj & paraphernalia) Sedgwick County Sheriff)

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future will include the  fat  chick  "sign- ing"  Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear's  daily television coronavirus briefing. The new "Gov" wears loose dress shirts   not buttoned nor tied at the neck and   loose at the cuffs, with jeans and boots.

In the coronavirus-induced absence of professional sports program-
ming, ESPN added marble racing and cherry-pit spitting to its cov-
erage. . . .  Indianapolis' 500-Mile Race was postponed from Mem-
orial Day weekend to August 23.

simsrang.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Kerry Wayne Sims, BM, 54, 5'10", 165 lbs,indec. w/a child; Douglas Jerome Sims, BM, 47, 5'6", 190 lbs, aggravated robbery John Rangel, HM, 33, 5'9", 180 lbs, aggrav. assault (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

berumesm.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Miguel Berumes, 66, child sex abuse; Abigail Rose, 21, theft; Samantha Ragan, 29, ctrld. substs.; Janessa Swinford, 30, P.I. & burglary; Erica Holiday, 34, escepe (fail. to return); Brandon Perez, 21, fam. viol.; Maria Rodriguez, 45, c.s.; Michael Meredith, 18, fugitive

lifetone.jpg Don't use that tone with me Life Saver Dude: Or with me

(the "Kung Flu" edition):

Anthony Dean wrote 3/16/20 @11:38 CST  re  J. Ewing's remark

"Maybe it's time to go to Amazon to purchase an electron-

ic version of Stephen King's The Stand – complete and un-

cut – to reread for tips on surviving a pandemic."

I have read it.  There is no advice.  In King's story you
are either naturally immune to the virus or you die.

The Governor (along with those of Kentucky,  New York,  New
Jersey, Connecticut, Maryland, Ohio, Illinois and Michigan) or-
dered bars, restaurants and night clubs to close, except for take-
out and delivery.  The  state's  first  coronavirus  death  was  an-
nounced.
                                                      [courtesy LEX18, WNDU-TV]

morenojo.jpg Indianapolis' most wanted: John Moreno,HM, robbery, kidnaping, aggravated battery; Michael Hall, WM, 6'0", 160 lbs, failure to register; Pauline Corrales,WF, theft; Christopher Cole, WM, 5'10", 200 lbs, fail. to reg.; Stephen Davis, WM, 6'3", 215 lbs, fail. reg. (Cent. Ind. Crime Stoppers)

The Governor ordered bars, restaurants and night clubs to close
except  for  takeout  and  delivery, and said his family would be
ordering takeout at least three days a week.     He announced al-
so the state's first coronavirus death.
                                                                   [courtesy WKYU-FM]

A Nelson County man with coronavirus left his hospital against
medical advice, and his home was surrounded by sheriff's depu-
ties to prevent his going out.
                                                                        [courtesy the Hill]

Mass was canceled until further notice in Kentucky's main arch-
dioceses.
                                                  [courtesy Kentucky Sports Radio]

The wife of the mayor of Louisville tested positive.
                                                                                         [LEX18]

joshitch.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Johsua Hitchcock, WM, 39, 6'4", 200 lbs, jacklegging; Amanda Kerrick, WF, 29, 5'2", 153 lbs, nipsipping; Branden Marshall, WM, 32, 5'10", 140 lbs, Sean Penn wannabe; Mary Logan, WF, 27, 5'1", 135 lbs, too hot for Fayette County; Tajah Milton, BM, 28, 5'6", 160 lbs, overt lust for Mary (dragged kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "Fuck through the pain."                                                    – Leonard Simon

Corona virus victim of the week

The owner of Tootsie's Orchid Lounge  in Nashville,  Tennessee,  vowed
to fight state orders to close restaurants and bars to deal with the corona-
virus pandemic.. . . One of the exceptions to the coronavirus quarantines
is walking your dog. . . . Mark Leahy, wearing a sign on his back saying
to stay six feet away,  performed a one-man  St. Patrick's Day parade  in
Rocky River, Ohio.. . . Queen Elizabeth and her consort moved to Wind-
sor Castle. .  .  .  KFC (formerly Kentucky Fried Chicken) suspended its
"finger-lickin' good" slogan. . . . The first ladies of both Spain and Cana-
da tested positive for coronavirus. . . . And Prince Albert of Monaco. . . .
Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro blamed Leonardo DiCaprio  for  burn-
ing the Amazon rain forest. .  .  . A Polish pig farmer missing since New
Year's Eve was  found to have been eaten by his livestock. .  .  . A Texas
woman was killed in a hog attack. . . .  The dog walker "app" Wag faced
its 15th dog death claim since 2015.
                                                                [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

robbinmy.jpg Wichita Falls' Criminal Cathedral Choir (Texomas most wanted fugitives of the week): Michael Jones, BM, 23, 5'11", 153 lbs, tenor, leadeer of the choir, control. substances; Angela Everman, WF, 42, 5'4", 135 lbs, alto, probation viol. (ctrlled. substs.); Anthony Littlecalf, Am. Ind. M, 39, 5'9", 180 lbs, baritone, poss. in drug-free zone; Joseph El-Hage, WM, 33, 5'11", 188 lbs, tenor, fam. assault; Bianca Caratachea, HF, 28, 4'8", 90 lbs, soprano, endang. child; Karen Kinsey, WF, 55, 5'8", 150 lbs, contralto, probation viol. (c.s.); Robbin Myers, WM, 44, 6'0", 220 lbs, bass, DUI x3+ (Wichita Falls (Texas) Crime Stoppers)

This year's Kentucky Derby has been pushed from May
 2 to September 5 by the coronavirus pandemic.  It will
be the first year since 1945  that  "Derby Day"  has  not
been the first Saturday in May.

lakelley.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kanas, not Wichita Falls,Texas): Larry Jo Kelley, BM, 26, 5'11", 165 lbs, prob. viol.(attempt robbery)l Amy Lou Fuenty, WF, 34, 5'9", 150 lbs, tattoos on neck, face, both arms, probation violation; Melissa Ann Stilke, WM(sic); 135 (sic), 5'5", 135 lbs, probation violation (theft); Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Gabriel Christian Guerrero, HM, 24, 5'7", 150 lbs, sexual abuse of a child (Sedgwick County, Kansas, sheriff, Abilene Crime Stoppers)

rocheste.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas,Sheriff): Lynn Rochester, 74,child porn; Jacob Tucker, 18, assault; Arian Jabel, 19, evading; Michael Sanchez, 21, aggr. assault; Kayla Browne,29, mj; Heather Plumley, 32; Evagene Shields, 34, theft; Tanya Sparks, 39, con. sub.; Kevin Mitchell, 33, parole vi.; Jesse Jones, 27, interference

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future will include Pien Hwang (rhymes with Ping Pong).

lifestep.jpg Life Saver Dude: That's my stepladder - I never knew my real ladder

:

J. Ewing wrote Sun 3/8/20 @13:15:

I've just finished the odious and arduous task of changing all
the clocks in my existence.  I'm now an hour closer to my de-
mise.

Now I need a nap.  After my nap, the next thing on my over-
packed schedule is to engage in my new, maximum paranoia,
anti-plague strategy of obtaining my groceries at Kroger's via
their drivethrough/pickup feature.  Plan to drive up with my
electronic list on my cell phone, check it with the Kroger Krit-
ter through the cracked window, open the trunk of my car via
the release latch at the side of my driver's seat and direct the
Kritter to put my items in there.  Then I have to calculate a
strategy to ensure that my purchases (already electronically
paid for) have not been spat/breathed upon by anyone infec-
ted with Covid-19.

Maybe it's time to go to Amazon to purchase an electronic
version of Stephen King's The Stand – complete and uncut
– to reread for tips on surviving a pandemic.

A 16-year-old Indianapolis boy got 40 years  in the shooting
deaths of two siblings, and a 13-year-old West Lafayette girl
got reform school for arson and attempted murder. . ..

An Amish tourist site at Nappanee was renamed the Barns. . . .

tosharob.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Tosha Roberts, WF, 5'8", 185 lbs, coke & paraph.; Amalia Lotaki, Indian F, 5'10", 180 lbs, fraud; Taylor Kruszewski, WF, 5'2", 105 lbs, meth (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The state's Attorney General forbade agencies to use an "X" gen-
der mark on identification papers unless  specifically  authorized
by the Legislature.
                                                         [courtesy Columbus Republic]

William Shatner will receive all semen from the horses he and his
wife own in their divorce settlement (but the Mrs. gets their home
in Versailles).
                                                [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

gambrelj.jpg Lexington's most wanted (dragged kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader): James Gambrel, WM, 58, 5'9", unorganized crime; Angela Gabbard, WF, 47, 5'2", 125 lbs, selling honey do; Victor Delong, WM, 21, 5'5", 150 lbs, short stroking; Shalayla Hale, BF, 27, 5'4", 135 lbs, bitch-slapping the man; Jonathan Farrow, WM, 31, 5'11", 170 lbs, incest

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "As a life coach to the real stars I sometimes         preach calm by subtraction."                                                                        – Leonard Simon

Corona virus victim of the week

Katy Perry's grandmother, Ann Pearl Hudson,  died. . . . Ashraf Ghani
and Abdullah Abdullah simultaneously took the oath(s) of office(s) of
President(s) of Afghanistan(s). .  .  . Tito’s  Vodka  urged people not to
use it as a hand sanitizer  because it has insufficient alcohol to kill bac-
teria. . . . A newly discovered insect species was named after Lady Ga-
ga. . . .All six of Utah's female state senators abstained and walked off
the  floor  as  the chamber passed a bill to require women getting abor-
tions to undergo ultrasound examinations. . . . A Putnam County, Ten-
nessee,  woman cracked two of her ribs holding on tight to her 3-year-
old daughter and 1½-year-old son during recent tornadoes  (any  inju-
ries to the children were not reported).
                                                              [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

marquisl.jpg Wichita Falls' Criminal Cathedral Choir (Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week): Marquis Lewis, BM, 24, 6'1", 250 lbs, tenor, probation viol. (contrl. substs.); Noemy Jaramillo, HF, 32, 5'3", 146 lbs, soprano, probation viol. (fraud); Leonardo Garza, HM, 53, 5'4", 180 lbs, baritone, bnd forf.(contr. subs.); Cindy Henderson, WF, 53, 5'3", 155 lbs, alto, probation violation (cred. card abuse); Marion Bowen, BM, 56, 5'11", 185 lbs, bass, leader of the choir, p.v. (evad.)

deondrey.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Deondrey O. Phillips, BM ,21, 5'10", 140 lbs, tattoos on left arm and neck, prob. viol. (felon w/firearm); Ivan Rodriguez, HM, 26, 5'10", 210 lbs, promoting sale of sex; Jonathan Palacios-Perez, HM, 21, 5'6", 130 lbs, prob. viol. aggr. escape); Derek Ryan Hazelton, WM, 39, 6'0", 230 lbs, probation viol.; Derrick John Hulse, WM, 38, 5'9", 240 lbs, probation violation (DUIx4) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

March Madness turned to March Sadness  as the National
Collegiate Athletic Association barred spectators from its
annual basketball tournaments to avoid further dissemina-
tion of the corolavirus, and then canceled the tournaments
altogether;  the professional National Basketball Associa-
tion suspended play,  and baseball's  spring  training  was
canceled.  The Ellen DeGeneres show was taping without
live audience, and  the  Saint Patrick's Day  parades  were
canceled in both New York  and  Chicago. (which  means
the Chicago River will not be dyed green this year).   Life
as we knew it. . . .

And, putting one little word after another, why are two for-
eign golfers  –  Gary Player  and Annika Sörenstam  – get-
ting the U.S. Medal of Freedom?

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Tulsi Gabbard.

:

A federal lady judge dismissed a federal claim against Indiana Attor-
ney General Curtis Hill for groping – but the Governor was support-
ing a plan to force him out by suspending his license to practice law. . . .

An Indianapolis man returning from Boston, Massachusetts, had In-
diana's first case of coronavirus.
                                                             [courtesy Columbus Republic]

tigefenn.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Tige Fennessee, BM, 5'9", 170 lbs, forgery; Lexington's: Michael Gantt, HM, 46, 6'0", 200 lbs, heroin; Perp in Paducah: Nathan Seth Moyers, 29, probation viol.; Wichita's (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Raymond Joseph Stahl, WM, 48, 5'10", 185 lbs, tattoos both arms, pro. viol. (burglary (Michigana Crime Stoppers, Bluegrass Crime Stoppers, McCracken County Sheriff, Sedgwick County Sheriff)

The  horse that survived the Floyd County massacre was adopted
and taken home by a Spencer County family.. . .

Kentucky, too, reported its first coronavirus case.
                                                                             [courtesy LEX18]

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "The Lord moves in mysterious ways,         sometimes using odd instruments."                                                                  – Leonard Simon

Deaths:               Javier Pérez de Cuéllar, 100               Rosalind P. Walter, "the Riveter," 95               Linda Evans Mand, Chordettes lead singer, 95               McCoy Tyner, 81               Donna Lee (Schwaniger) Bolton, 89               Dorothy Hunter Hagan Clark, 82               Linda Louise "Niecy" Martin, 58               Freedia Elkins McCubbin Thompson, 91                                                                                        [Louisville Courier-Journal]

byongjoo.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Byong Joon Choi, 24, alc. to minor; Terri Tucker, 35, parole vi.; John West, 21, mobery; Harlin Brandon, 26, drug para.; Jesus Trrevino, 32, speeding; Aric Braadley, 22, marij.; Jonathan Monreal-Carreon, 27; Luis Jiminez, 59, c.s.

The Judge Judy show is ending. .  . . PETA praised Alaska Airlines' stopping
sponsorship of the Iditarod, which started yesterday. . . . . A recruiter for Ok-
kahoma Christian University was fired  after  he  had  a  high  school  junior
class line up by skin complexion, then by nappiest hair in the back to straigh-
test hair in the front. . . . An Australian baboon fled a vasectomy in the com-
pany of two female baboons. . . . Science and commerce have come up with
a device to make dogs quit barking. . . . Jeff Sessions beat Roy Moore in the
Alabama Democratic Senate primary  but not former Auburn football coach
Tommy Tuberville  (they'll meet in a runoff). .  .  . Iran  released  more  than
50,000 prisoners in an effort to control coronavirus. . . . Katy Perry got preg-
nant out of wedlock. . . . A man got two years in prison for beheading a rab-
bit at an animal shelter in Des Moines, Iowa.
                                                                        [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

jeremyro.jpg Wichita Falls' Criminal Cathedral Choir (Texas, not Wichita,Kansas): Jeremy Roe, WM,27, 5'11", 222 lbs, tenor, probation viol. (aggravated robbery); Isaac Rios, WM, 23, 6'2", 230 lbs, baritone, theft; Adam Tuan Nguyen, AM, 20, 5'8", 180 lbs, soprano, controlled subst.; Christiina Eldridge, WF, 39, 5'9", 170 lbs, contralto, controlled subst.; Zairy Hargrove, BM, 22, 5'10", 180 lbs, bass, leader of the choir, burg. (Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week) (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers)

All sporting events in Italy will take place without fans for
at least the next month due on account of the coronavirus.

       

lifeboid.jpg Is that a human? No, don't worry, it's a scarecrow. How can you tell? He's not looking at his phone. OMG! Life Saver Dude: The birds are hip to the times

lifetext.jpg Them's mighty big words mister I'm hoping your caps lockis just stuck Life Saver Dude: Did you know that Friday was the National Day of Unplugging?

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Katy Perry.

:

Etta Jean Darrig wrote Sun 2/23/19 @09:43 CST
with the answer to last week's Riddle:

Da Scouts is as bad as da Church, and da Church
is as bad as da Scouts.  It's means and motive.

Fred Dean wrote Sun 2/23/20 @15:44 PST re the Fajar Mulya Saputro
who asked to be our friend on Clutterbook last week:

Familiar name!  (I think I met him somewhere in the world.)

A DuBois County who pleaded guilty to locking a teen-age girl in
a cage and denying her food, water and clean facilities  got  proba-
tion instead of prison.
                                                          [courtesy Columbus Republic]

deontaew.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Deontae Woodson, BM, 5'7", 180 lbs, handgun w/o lic.; Stephanie Smolka, WF, 5'5", 125 lbs, meth, marijuana; Marcus Jones, BM, 6'2", 210 lbs, burglary; Ricky Beard, WM, 6'3", 200 lbs, battery (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A surveillance camera provided sufficient evidence against a man
arrested  for breaking into  a  Lexington  woman's  apartment  and
stealing underwear.
                                                                              [courtesy LEX18]

The state Court of Appeals ruled  that jailers could charge room and
board for inmates regardless of whether they were found guilty; and
that applied immediately to a man charged $4,000  for 14 months in
jail in Clark County on child pornography charges, all dropped.

                                                                          [courtesy WKYU-FM]

holfromm.jpg Louisville's most wanted: Holly Michelle Fromm, WF, 39, 5'2", 120 lbs, trafficking; Desire Ann Calhoun, WF, 29, 5'3", 135 lbs, burglary 3°; Erica Denis Thompson, BF, a/k/a Adams, 33, 5'11", 260 lbs (Yorkshire hog), assault (mult. cts.); Jacqueline Denise Hart, WF, 46, 5'2", 165 lbs, controlled substances, drug paraphernalia; Jack Edward Spector, WM, 30, 5'4", 167 lbs, controlled substances (Louisville Met. Police Dept)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "In furtherance of the 'Me, too' movement, I encourage         all women to carry guns."                                                                        – Leonard Simon

haydenom.jpg Wichita Falls' Criminal Cathedral Choir (Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas) Crime Stoppers) Hayden O'Malley, WM, 33, 5'7", 172 lbs, tenor, probation violation (intoxication assault); Stefanie Teruel, WF, 38, 5'6", 190 lbs (Yorkshire hog), soprano, prob. viol.; Leonel Sama, HM, 24, 5'8", 180 lbs, countertenor, prob. viol. (endangering child); Annie Martin, BF, 40, 5'4", 190 lbs (Yorkshire hog), alto, pro viol. (aggr. assault); Zavorio Jackson, BM, 28, 5'9", 155 lbs, bass, choir leader, prob. viol. (inj. child)

An 11-year-old girl in St. Louis, Missouri, gave birth to a baby sired by
her 17-year-old brother, who was arrested, along with their parents. . . .
A  man  was  killed  in  New  Orleans  by a float in the pre - Mardi Gras
Krewe of Endymion parade (the rest of which was canceled). . . . Aljer-
miah Mack, leader of the Nine Trey Gangsta Bloods, convicted of drug
trafficking on the testimony of rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine,  got 17 years in
prison. .  .  . Peyton Elizabeth Logan was born in Tulsa,  Oklahoma,  at
20:20 2/20/20. . . . A study found that a World War I French helmet de-
sign provides better protection from explosives than  contemporary  A-
merican army helmets. . . . Death row inmate Dylann Roof stated a hun-
ger strike over mistreatment complaints including  "targeted  by  staff,"
"verbally harassed and abused without cause"  and  "treated dispropor-
tionately harsh." .  .  . Johnny  Depp  appeared  in Great Britain's High
Court in his libel suit against the publishers of the tabloid Sun. . . . Am-
azon was opening a cashierless supermarket in Seattle, Washington. . . .
An 11-year-old Utah girl was made by a school principal to dance with
a boy she did not want to dance with. .  .  . Canada canceled royalty se-
curity service for Prince Harry and Meghan.

                                                             [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

stroopma.jpg Arrested in Abilene, Michael Dewayne Stroope, WM, 49, 5'9", 140 lbs, burglary; Marcella Guadalupe Torres, HF, 30, 5'4", 220 lbs (Yorkshire hog), inj. to a child; Wanted in Waco: Qentreven Stewart, BM, 18, 6'0", 153 lbs, theft of firrearm; Wanted in  Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Salena M. Hibbard, WF, 24, 5'2", 120 lbs, tattoo on right shoulder, prob. viol. (aggrav. battery); Asia Unique Warren, BF, 29, 5'2", 100 lbs, aggravated assault (Abilene Crime Stoppers, City of Waco, Sedgwick County (Kansas) Sheriff)

The Federal Communications Commission has received 1,312 com-
plaints about Shakira's and Jennifer Lopez' belly dancing, pole dan-
cing, butt dancing Super Bowl halftime show. . . .

softball.jpg Images for softball hotties

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Pocahontas.

                            One of my classmates has Asperger syndrome.  He
                            often says and does things that  are  obnoxious  and
                            even threatening. When I ask my friends what to do,
                            they say it's not his fault and I should just leave it a-
                            lone.

                            But he frequently talks loudly over instructions so
                            that no one else can hear,  and last week he fell on
                            the floor screaming in front of visiting profession-
                            als.  I want to be able to help him change his beha-
                            vior without making it seem as though I'm blaming
                            him.  How do I respectfully tell him what is and is-
                            n't appropriate?
                                                                                              Worn Out
Dear Worny:
                            Strangle the little bugger.

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