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"Hollywood Dave" surteesdn@aol.com wrote Sun 2/16/20 @08:27 PST:

Welcome back.

Stephen Yates wrote Sun 2/16/20 @10:13 CST

"Betty White turns 98" rhymes  in Cockney.

A chihuahua-dachshund puppy was nursing two baby kittens at an
animal friendly home in Chrisney (yes, Jan, there's video). . . .

The former Parke County  poor  house  in Rockport was on sale
for $200,000. . . .

frohwerk.jpg South Bend's most wanted: David Frohwerk, WM, 5'11", 150 lbs, robbery, auto theft; Treshawn Bailey, BM, 5'9", 125 lbs, robbery; Andrew Abbott, WM, 5'7", 190 lbs, resisting; Tyler Fennessee, BM, 5'6", 140 lbs, burglary (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A Ball State University professor who called police when a black
student refused to change seats was suspended for the rest  of  the
semester.
                                                          [courtesy Columbus Republic]

The state transportation cabinet was ordered to pay $150,000 for the
attorney fees of a motorist who won the right to keep "IM GOD" on
his license plate. . . .

A horse rescued from the shootings in Pike County has been restored
to health and is ready for adoptions.
                                                                                   [courtesy LEX18]

colinhrt.jpg Lexington's most wanted (courtesy Bluegrass Crime Stoppers): Colin Hurt, WM, 39, 5'10", 150 lbs, theft; Ecclessiastes Gunn, BF, a/k/a Ecclesiasted Fischer, BF, 43, 5'9", 150 lbs, coke; Joshua Vinson, WM, 39, 5' 11", 200 lbs, fleeing police

  

paristom.jpg Perps in Paducah: Paris J. Thomas, 29, probation violatioon (assault, threatening); Tiffany P. Lumbley, a/k/a Holmes, 29, prob. viol.; Lexie Jay Robinson, 42, probation violation (McCracken County Sheriff)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):       "I brake for lawsuits."                                                  – Leonard Simon

Quotation of the week:
                                         "Talk is cheap, except in Congress."
                                                                                                         – Cullen Hightower

autumnth.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheeriff): Terry Vincent, 58, Secoyah Ramsey, 26, endang. child; Demetria Rodriguez, 23, joy ride; Pamela Ramirez, 18, assault; Autumn Thrower, 19, marijuana; Britney Castillo, 30, controlled substances; Dana Arrredondo, 34, mobery

ashantil.jpg Wichita Falls Criminal Cathedral Choir (Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kas.) Crime Stoppers): Frederick Williams, BM, 22, 5'6", 140 lbs, baritone,choir leader, probation violation (tampering with evidence); Ashanti Lanell Walker, BF, 30, 5'5", 140 lbs, contralto, theft; Heather Dawn Langford, WF, 36, 6', 130 lbs, soprano, child abandonment; Pedro Anthony Chapa, HM, 52, 6'0", 175 lbs, bass, drugs; David Wayne Hendershot, WM, 35, 6'2", 222 lbs, tenor, drugs

kimonapo.jpg Wanted in Waco: Kimona Porgia, BF, 38, 5'7", 190 lbs, theft; Arrested in Abilene, Kori Shane Herring, WM, 37, 5'3", 130 lbs, meth; Cortney Paige Stiles, WF, 21, 5'4", 135 lbs, injury to a child; Glen Edward Glass, WM, 38, 5'7", 180 lbs, failure to reg.; Vicky Renata Cheairs, BM, 54, 5'10", 165 lbs, deadly conduct (city of Waco, Abilene Crime Stoppers)

New research was used to argue that Generation X women are more sleep-
deprived than other groups. . . . The Boy Scouts of America,  claiming  to
be overwhelmed by sex abuse litigation,  filed  for  bankruptcy. .  .  . John
Schnatter, ousted founder of Papa John's Pizza, admitted exaggeration in
a claim to have eaten 40 pizzas in 30 days. . . . Maesaiah  Thabane,  First
Lady of Lesotho, was charged with murdering the previous First Lady. . . .
Antarctica experienced a new high temperature of 69° F. . . . There  were
nine pending patent applications for variations of the phrase "OK, Boom-
er." . . . A traveler's carry-on bag of "moose nuggets" triggered an inquest
at Juneau International Airport in Alaska, but they passed; later the same
day the Anchorage Daily News reported that a man was seen at the state
capitol handing out moose turds to legislators. . . . Right-wing eastern Or-
egonians petitioned to merge with Idaho. .  .  .  New  York  prohibited  de-
clawing cats,  and Michigan  may. . . . A woman was struck and killed by
a float  in  the  Krewe of Nyx  pre - Mardi Gras  parade  in  New  Orleans
(Mardi Gras is next Tuesday,  folks).
                                                                  [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

Wanted in Wichita*: Derek  Mich- ael Johnson, WM, 24, 6' 5", 155 lbs.: Pro- bation   viola- tion (burglary); Angela    Ni-

 cole Sipult, WF,  a/k/a Olivia Lee,  WF,  29, 5' 4", 130 lbs., tattoos, rosary of
 thorns on left leg, stars on right forearm:  Probation violation (attempted pos-
 session of a firearm by a felon; Rigoberto Acosta Jr., HM, 42, 5' 5", 155 lbs,
 tattoo on neck: Aggravated indecent liberties with a child;  Ronnie  E.  Dom-
 nick,  WM,  49, 6' 1", 185 lbs.: Narcotics;  Na'Quela Shampain Cheeks, BF,
 28, 5' 4", 145 lbs.: Aggravated escape.      * Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas
 [courtesy Sedgwick County Sheriff].

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Jonese Franklin.

(your editor/publisher had
a stroke-like experience the week of January 10 and apologizes for
the four missing intervening issues):

Stephen Yates wrote Sun 1/12/19 @10:12 AM re
last week's birthdays:

How awesome that  Joan  Baez  and Joan of
Arc had birthdays in the same week! Jeanne
d'Arc was the sainte patrone of bull dykes....

Henry Velenosi wrote Sun 1/19/20 @08:58 PST:

To be sure that my subscription to Tabloid Headlines continues my new e-mail address is hankvelenosi@gmail.com.  Also I have not received today’s edition.

hankvelenosi@gmail.com wrote Sun 1/26/20 @07:45 PST:

This is the second week that I have not received my copy.  Any problems?

More than 2,400 sets of fetal remains found last year in the Illinois
garage and car of a South Bend,  Indiana,  abortion doctor after he
died were buried Wednesday in a northern Indiana cemetery.

                                                         [courtesy Columbus Republic]

issakama.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Issaka Mamah, BM, 5'6", 165 lbs, auto theft; Sara Swoape, WF, 5'10", 240 lbs (Yorkshire hog), theft; Abujaish Khalil, race unknown, 6'0", 220 lbs, child molesting (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Two General Motors employees were arrested for racing their Cor-
vettes at speeds up to 120 m.p.h. on a street n Bowling Green'

                                                                               [courtesy LEX18]

charronm.jpg Bryan Tipton, WM, 40, 6'1", 175 lbs, dirty D.J.; Charron Mays Jr., BM, 23, 6'0", 135 lbs, not quite ready to face the music; Samantha "Not Quite So" Swift, WF, 36, 5'6", 135 lbs, music theft; Jantz Richaardson, WM, 31, 6'0", 170 lbs, fake music; Thomas Cuadro, WM, 37, 5'10", 220 lbs, impersonating musician (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

morgan'n.jpg Morgan & Morgan there's only one OK, but Morgan, or Morgan?

keyshawn.jpg Wichita Falls' criminal cathedral choir (Wichita      Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas) Crime Stoppers): Keyshawn Carroll, bm, 24, 6'0",  150 lbs, bass, leader of the choir, probation viol. (c.s.); Victoria Corrales, HF, 29, 5'4", 156 lbs, alto, probation violation (controlled substances); Joeangel Esoparza, HM, 24, 5'5", 136 lbs, tenor, probation viol. (tampering with evidence); Danequa Sedberry, BF, 26, 5'0" 240 lbs (Yorkshire hog), soprano, assault; Damon Bret Masrtin, WM, 50, 6'0", 200 lbs, oratorio soloist, food stamp fraud (Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week)

Eight horses were found shot and killed in Navajo County, Arizona. . . .
Lindsey Lohan's mother was arrested for DUI on Long Island. . . . A dec-
orated veteran of Vietnam and Iraq's  prosthetic  limbs  were  repossessed
from his home in Mississippi after the VA failed to pay for them. .  .  .  A
section of border wall collapsed in high wind,  with debris landing on the
Mexican side. . . . A man charged with marijuana possession was arrested
in Tennessee for smoking marijuana in open court. . . . The West Virginia
Senate encouraged neighboring Frederick County of Virginia to join West
Virginia. . . . Orlando Bloom misspelled his son's name  Flynn  (in Morse
Code) "Frynn" in a tattoo on his arm.
                                                                   [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

zacarias.jpg Wanted in Waco: Zacarias Molina, WM, 21, 6', 210 lbs, sexual assault; Rikki Ines Starks, BF, 38, 5'5", 110 lbs, tattoo, left arm, domestic battery; Waheeda Rasheed Shabazz, BF, 36, 6', 167 lbs, tattoos, neck, both wrists, aggravated assault; Muhajir ShaffeeAbdul-Aleem JJr., BM, 42, 6', 220 lbs, tattoo, l. wrist, theft (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

Another horse died at Santa Anita.

kalebcas.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Kaleb Castleberry, 23, mischiev. comm.; April White, 28, mobery; Belinda Mendoza, 48, mob.; Shauna Gilmore, 43, drugs, theft & paraph.; Candice Torres, 26, cont. subs.; Anabel Bruton, 29, arson; Cynthia Robles, 39, theft; Rojelio Luna, 62, family assault

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events  are in- vited  to attend the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the  offices  of   Borf   Books  outside Brownsville,  Kentucky, just  after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Rosalìa.

The Spanish sing-  er /  dancer  and one or two of her backups,  in a re- cent performance on   Austin   City Limits,  wore red tops   with  holes cut  out  for arm- pits.

lifehand.jpg Whatever just wash your hands Life Saver Dude:: absolutely