Anthony Dean wrote Sun 5/23/21 @10:01 CDT:

I'd heard about Ms. M. Lovato's coming out and choo-
sing plural pronouns.  Does this mean non-binaries in
future will begin using the royal "we" instead of "I"?

Maybe "all of us."    – Editor

Tested positive, 746,246; died, 13,956.   The  state  reported  zero
Covid-19 deaths last Sunday but 345 new cases.

                                       [courtesy N.Y. Times, Columbus Republic]

Nineteen Republican legislators and the state attorney general pro-
tested Indiana University's requirement of  Covid vaccines  for stu-
dents and staff. . . .

An Evansville woman  working for a Democrat Congressional can-
didate pleaded guilty to mailing out hundreds of absentee ballot ap-
plications for the 2020 primary election marked for  Democrat  vo-
ters (her man won the primary but lost in the general election). . . .

A man was charged  with  arson  in  a fire that destroyed the 2001-
built replica of the Clarksville cabin pioneer General George Rog-
ers Clark occupied from 1803 to 1809 overlooking the Ohio River
into Louisville, Kentucky, which Clark is credited with founding.

                                                          [courtesy Columbus Republic]

casifyen.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Daris Grant, BM, 5'9", 250 lbs, rape; Casi Fye, WF, 5'5", 135 lbs, counterfeit; David Kanz, WM, 5'11", 200 lbs, meth, paraph; Michael Celie, WM,  5'10", 130 lbs, meth (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Tested positive, 459,728; died, 6,918.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Edmonson County High School 2021 graduates include:

SHALALAY.jpg Shahaley Nicole Decker TYONNAHA.jpg Tyonna Melynn Hardin

and [courtesy Edmonson News]

So, what is the name of this church in south Edmonson County? Liberty Hill Missionary Baptist Church, or Baptist Church, Drip- ping Spring?  It is in Dripping Spring, in the southeast and sou- thernmost corner of the County, and is listed in the local news- paper as the "Liberty Hill Church"  (no  "Missionary,"  no "Bap- tist"), among 54 churches, at least two of which no longer have regular Sunday services.

The local paper lists "gener- al,"  "missionary " and "uni- ted" Baptist without distinc- tion  (not  that  the Baptists know  the distinctions  eith- er).    [Tabloid Headlines photos]

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said): "Here lately I've been telling myself I've  been  drinking  too  much, and have drinking problems; and then I thought, why  would I listen to a damned old drunk?"                                                                     – Leonard Simon

Dog of the week:  lazy black Lab Not to be confused with a "chocolate" lab.  But it's a Labrador, all right.

timikech.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Timothy Mike Chavez, WM, 47, 6', 180 lbs, aggravated sexual assault of a child; Keelin Latrell Woodards, BM, 36, 62", 155 lbs, robbery; Tommy Soper, WM, 27, 5', 190 lbs, aggravated assault; Wanted in Waco: Anissa Shawntize Thompson, BF, 47, 5'10", 200 lbs (Y hog), securing the execution of a document by deception; John-Alex Lopez, HM, 29, 5'11", 214 lbs, assault of public servant, parole violation (Abilene Crime Stoppers, City of Waco)

Pop singer  Dua Lipa,  of partially Bosnian Muslim descent,  denied  anti-
Semitism  in  her pro-Palestinian remarks in the recent war in Israel.  .  .  .
A Roman artist sued the Vatican for  using  her  portrait  of  Jesus  for a 20-
20 Easter stamp without her permission.  .  .  .  Human rights organizations
reported that the Covid-19 vaccine industry had created  nine  new  billion-
aires  and that their combined wealth would be  "enough  to fully vaccinate
all people in low-income countries 1.3 times." . . . A Covid-19 outbreak on
Mount Everest infected more than 100 climbers and Sherpas. . . .  Alabama
repealed its 28-year ban on yoga in public schools but prohibited meditation,
hypnosis  and the greeting  "namaste." .  .  .  Rangers were seeking a woman
who approached bears in Yellowstone National Park  (there's  video).  .  .  .
The El Paso, Texas, Zoo was seeking charges against a woman who climbed
into the monkey pit  (there's  video). . . . Angelina  Jolie  complained that the
judge deciding child custody in her divorce from Brad Pitt  won't let the chil-
dren testify. .  .  .  A warrant was issued for the arrest of Marilyn Manson for
firing a "snot rocket" at a photographer. . . . An 11-year-old boy was charged
with  arson  for starting a brush fire in Arizona.  .  .  .  A 14-year-old boy was
charged with murder in the death of a 13-year-old girl in Florida. . . . Lindsey
Lohan is back.
                                                                         [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

codyrayt.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Cody Ray Thompson, WM, 38, 5'11", 180 lbs, tattoos on head, frace, neck, shoulder, arm, hand, chest, abdomehn, burglary, felon w/firearm; Mary Jane Alfaro, HM, 36, 5'3", 130 lbs, theft, unlawful computer acts; Marlon Terrelle Hardy Jr., BM, 28, 5'9", 176 lbs, tattoo on neck, ag. bat.; Renée Victoria Garcia, HF, 41, 5'2", 140 lbs, probation violation (aggr. battery, opiates); Bruce Lee Epps, BM, 55, 5'9", 180 lbs, tattoos left hand, right arm, aggr. dom. battery, felon w/gun (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

jcuellar.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Justin Cuellar, 28, Mj, DUI; Naveah Fuentes, 20, marijuana; Ema Salazar, 29, DUI; Caroline Stout, 23, DUI; Jade Parker, 19, ctl. subs.; Seleste Robles, 20, assault on public servant; Angel Rubio, 29, joy riding

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near future include Dua Lipa.

Anthony Dean wrote Sun 5/16/21 @10:19 CDT:

Dear Eleanor:

I recommend that "Perplexed" pee on her dead brother's grave!

Donkies Phanni wrote Fri 5/14/21 @12:12 CDT:

Jesus' middle name is "Helifino."

Tested positive, 742,295; died, 13,547.
                                                                   [courtesy N.Y. Times]

The deaths of wild swans and Canadian geese at Wolf Lake be-
tween Hammond and Chicago last winter were blamed on para-
asitic worms embedded in snails consumed by the birds.

                                                      [courtesy Columbus Republic]

buelnabn.jpg South Bend's most wanted: James Carter, BM, 6'1", 160 lbs, probation violation (gun, resisting arrest); Benjamin Buelna, WM, 5'6", 230 lbs, poss. of syringe, meth, coke, counterfeiiting; Willard Caradine, BM, 5'5", 145 lbs, robbery; Fort Wayne's: Dequan Briggs, BM, 5'11", 240 lbs, gun w/o lic., coke, marij., nudity (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Tested positive, 457,466; died, 6,861.
                                                                              [courtesy N.Y. Times]

State Representative Derek  Lewis,  of     Clay, Leslie and Laurel  counties,  was     found not guilty of DUI.                                       [courtesy LEX18]

Song rehearsed by the Hillbilly Blues Band tobe sung at the memorial
service for Marshall Hornback at Nolin Dam:

C-H-I-C-K-E-N

In a little country schoolhouse where the children used to go,
There went a little fellow that they all called Ragtime Joe;
One day the teacher asked the class to spell a certain bird;
The bird, it was a chicken, and they could not spell the word.

So the teacher called on Ragtime Joe to spell the word for them;
He did not hesitate a bit; this is how that he began:

C - That's the way to begin;
H - That's the next letter in;
 I  - That is the third;
C -  Season up the bird;
K -  Fill it in;
E  -  Gettin' near the end:

C - H - I - C - K - E -N,  that 'ere's the way to spell CHICKEN.

Here's how the Red Clay Ramblers sang it (you can hear this one).

And here's how the McGee Brothers sang it (hear this, too).

You will note that the McGee Brothers called  the  schoolchildren
darkies, and Ragtime Joe, in particular, a nigger.   Here is another
version written by a listener.

N - That's the first letter, N;
 I -  It fits right in;
G -  Sounds good to me;
G -  Another G for free;
E  -  You've got this far;
R  -  Now SuperStar . . .

N-I-G-, G-E-R:  That 'ere's the way ta spell NIGGER.
                                                                                            [Tabloid Headlines]

machellejpg Lexington's most wanted: Machelle Renée Thorntopn, WF, 47, 5'3", 120 lbs, possession of forged instrument (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said): "A couple of  years ago I was at the Corner Market,  I owed a bill, and I called my   sister to tell her to pay the bill and give me some extra money on her  credit  card.  And this girl who worked there, whom I didn't know, said,  'Are you going to give  her the money back?'   And I said no; she doesn't need the money; she's in the pen-  itenitiary."                                                       – Leonard Simon

Dog of the week:  St. Bernard Bred as a rescue dog in Switzerland and Italy, this pooch is now a popular large,  friendly  home  pet. The name comes from a travelers' hospice  on  the treacherous Great St. Bernard Pass in  the  western Alps,  named for Bernard of Menthon, an 11th cen- tury Italian monk who established the station.

jaleotis.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas) by the Sedgwick County Sheriff: Jesse Leotis Stevens, WM, 41, 5'9", 180 lbs, tattoos on r. arm, l. leg, prob. viol. (felon w/firearm); Timothy Michael Mcnitt, WM, 30, 5'11", 200 lbs, prob. viol. (eluding); Richard Dale Meisinger, WM, 65, 5'7", 135 lbs, probation violation (felon w/firearm); Jeffery Curtis Burch, WM, 38, 5'9", 160 lbs, probation viol. (domestic battery); James  Claude Mcinturf, WM, 53, 5'10", 175 lbs, burglary

Terry Boot replaced Peter Foot as chief financial officer of  Shoe  Zone,
a British retailer . . . Karen mooned a cop and got tased  (our correspon-
dent J. Ewing observed that crack was involved). . . . A 76-year-old Indi-
an woman who had tested positive for Covid-19 awoke just as her family
was about to begin her cremation. .  .  .  A British broadcaster mistakenly
announced that the Queen had died. . . . Japanese researchers who discov-
ered  that  mice, rats and pigs can breathe through their anuses  suggested
that  humans  can,  too. . .  . Chicago was releasing 1,000 cats to catch the
rats. . . . Supermodel Naomi Campbell, 50, had a baby girl. . . .Singer  De-
mi Lovato "came out" that she they is are "nonbinary" and is are changing
her their pronouns to "they"/ "them." .  .  .  Pennsylvania State University
was replacing "freshman" "sophomore," "junior" and "senior" with "first-
year-student," "second year student" and so on,  and "underclassmen" and
"upperclassmen" with "lower division"  and "upper division," .because  of
the  "binary"  connotations of the traditional terms ("sophomore" less than
the others). . . . Maryland discarded  "Maryland My Maryland,"  which re-
fers to former President Abraham Lincoln as a despot and a tyrant and the
Union as "Northern scum," as its state song.

                                                                    [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

joshuari.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Josh Rivas, 28, fam. ass.; Katherine McManus, 32, theft, paraphernalia; Lydia Barrera, 32, family assault; Virginia Smalley, 38, family assault; Toan Pham, asian male, 36, trespass; Annette Ellingberg, 37, no intent signal; Jada Jones, 22, marijuana; Aaron Espinoza, 22, DUI

Horse trainer Bob Baffert was suspended from race tracks in New
York, where the Belmont Stakes are yet to be run, pending investi-
gation of Medina Spirit's drug use in  the  Kentucky Derby,  which
he won. . . .  Danica Patrick will drive the pace car at the 500 Mile
Race in Indianapolis this year. . . .   The  Seattle  Mariners'  Safeco
Field stadium was giving fans Covid-19 vaccinations  during base-
ball games there.

lifecows.jpg You animal! This is all your fault! You did this to me! Don't even thing of coming in here! Wow! What's up with Mom! She's having a cow. Life Saver Dude: And now we know what it is to . . .

May 16, 2021:  Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids  while waiting for your wife at the coun-
ter in the supermarket –“ this week's headlines:

NUCLEAR BOMB CHINA out of existence.
NUCLEAR BOMB RUSSIA out of existence.
NUCLEAR BOMB NORTH KOREA out of existence.
NUCLEAR BOMB IRAN out of existence.
NUCLEAR BOMB AFGHANISTAN out of existence.
NUCLEAR BOMB YEMEN out of existence.
NUCLEAR BOMB TURKEY out of existence.
Let PALESTINE and ISRAEL destroy each other.
Leave Africa alone unless the next war outgrows the Suez Canal. . . .

Renée Monet, who carefully spells her first name with an accent aigu
(that's French for "acute") over the second "e," wrote to point out:

W. C. Fields' character Egbert Sousé erroneously called it an  "ac-
cent  grave"  in the movie  The Bank Dick  –  and niggers seem to
think it's  an apostrophe  (see this recent obituary in the Louisville
Courier-Journal):

donteket.jpg Dont'e Keaton, 1985-2021 (age 35), Louisville, KY, Courier-Journal May 4-9 2021

The accent grave turns in the opposite direction, and gives the vowel
the "short e" sound ("eh"),  not the "long a" sound ("ay") given by the
accent aigu – e.g., "crème de la crème."    – Editor

cormican.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Denny Cormican,WM, 5'9", 150 lbs, coke,marijuana,paraph.; Joseph Cromey, WM, 6', 210 lbs, possession of syringe; Enrique Mendoza, HM, 5'8" 200 lbs, stalking; Michael Sells, BM, 5'9", 255 lbs, theft; Victor Crews, BM, 6'3", 250 lbs, domestic strangle (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

bridgecal.jpg Wanted by the Indiana Department of Corrections for parole violation: Callvin Bridges, Daniel Richardson, Robert Motl, Malik Martin, Monte McGill, William Baker, Anthony Howard, Maurice McThune, Leonard Blackmon (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Tested positive, 736,920; died, 13,466.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Tested positive, 454,523; died, 6,744.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Stations in Casey and Edmonson Counties ran out of gasoline
due  to  the Colonial Pipeline closure;  the price of gasoline in
Richmond went to $6.99 a gallon.
                                                                        [courtesy LEX18]

becaroei.jpg Wanted in Flioyd County: Wated in Floyd County: Becar O. Elghailany, 39, ag. bat.; ERik R. Jack, 52, battery; Patricia Ann Morgan, 28, coke; Juan A. Contreras-Juarez, 28, ag. bat.; Juan Perez, 35, controlled subs. (SpotCrime)

Dog of the week:  law dog This is Charlie the Law Dog, office pet of Gary S. Logsdon, attorney at law, in Brownsville, Kentucky.

sinatmug.jpg Frank Sinatra, mug shot, Bergen County, New Jersey, 1938, carrying on with a married woman; Tom Selleck, once upon a time, later

Liam and Olivia were the most popular baby names for boys and girls,
respectively,  in  2020,  for the second year in a row;  Noah and Oliver
were runners-up in boys' name,  Emma  and  Ava,  in  girls'. . . . Oprah
and Prince Harry were teaming up for a mental health TV show. . . Co-
vid-19 survivors in India were getting "black fungus,"  a 50 per cent fa-
tal secondary disease. . . . Huawei CEO Ren Zhengfei instructed emplo-
yees to use fewer adjectives in memos and reports. . . .  Ellen was going
off the air. . . . Bill Maher  tested  positive. . . . A black cat jumped from
the fifth floor of a building in Chicago, Illinois, and landed on its feet in
the grass and walked away (there's video).

                                                                [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

reeveste.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Terrance Reeves, BM, 19, 5'10", 165 lbs, prob. viol. (threat); Justin Michael Loffland, WM, 19, 6'4", 175 lbs, attempted aggravated robbery; Sara Bailey, WF, 32, 5'6", 160 lbs, heroin; Richard Piper, WM, 38, 5'8", 190 lbs, probation violation (opiates) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

jaysonza.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Jayson Zamora, 26, mobery; Monica Gauer, 34, marijuana; Crystal Curl, 33, crim. trespass; Jandie Sanchez, 28, paraph., fam. assault; Mycarsia Kamakani, 24,crim. negligence; Anacleto Cortez, 18, DUI

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near future include Bente Birkeland.

lifedawg.jpg I used to fetch his newspaper now I just forward articles I know he'll agree with Life Saver Dude Hey that's my dawg

J. Ewing wrote Sun 5/2/21 @09:10 EDT:

You are still wrong and are confusing breeds of cats with the
individual personalities and characteristics of those uniquely
individual cats.

I beg your pardon!  My Tippy is highly affectionate.  She loves
curling up with me in bed and snuggling.   And  she's  not  lazy.
She's  retired  and doesn't have to do a lot of  kitten  type  antics
any more.

While she is independent, that just means she's an  adult,  mature
cat with a lot of experience in the matters of the world.  She's not
proud, self-absorbed and self-satisfied, either.  She's just self-con-
fident and carries herself in a regal manner.

When I grow up, I want to be Tippy.

OK, OK; we'll do it.  Here are the cats of the week, all in one issue:    – Editor



                  

tippycat.jpg, dinglbat.jpg, felixnav.jpg, lazycat.jpg, peckerct.jpg

Jonathan Samuel Polacheck wrote Sun 5/2/21 @11:15 CDT:

What does the H in "Jesus H. Christ" stand for?   I  submit  that
it does not stand for anything.

My grandfather's story will illustrate:    Born  Nathan  Goldstick,
he worked as a loan officer.   Loan applications were to be mark-
ed "OK" or "NG" (for "no good"),  followed by the loan officer's
initials.  So, Grandpa approved loans with "OK NG."

The clerks got confused.  Wonder why.

So Grandpa changed his name  (legally!)  to  "Nathan H. Gold-
stick" (and no more!) and then approved loans "OK NHG."

Good thing he chose H and not F.    – Editor

J. Ewing wrote Sun 5/2/21 @11:59 EDT:

"Our Father,  who Art in Heaven,  Harold be thy Name."  That's
two names.  And it's "Casper" in the inner circle, with the "Holy
Ghost" persona.    Would you expect a Holy Trinity to have few-
er than three names?

Alfredo Restrepo Jarlamillo wrote Sun 5/2/21@16:14 EDT:

How 'bout "Jesus Habbadabooba Christ"?

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said): "It's 'Jesus Heavenly Christ.'  What were you all   thinking?  Or, were you?"                                                  – Leonard Simon

Tested positive, 731,086; died, 13,397.
                                                                 [courtesy N.Y. Times]

A Gibson County woman pleaded guilty to participating in her
own kidnapping, for a book she was writing. . . .

Forty-four invasive plant species, including Bradford pear trees,
were prohibited from sale or planting  by  a  new  ordinance  in
South Bend.
                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

josertiz.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Kevin Slaughter, BM, 6'2", 215 lbs, handgun w/o lic.,meth, coke; Jose Ortiz, HM, 5'8", 200 lbs, meth, coke; Marcus Baskin, BM, 5'11", 180 lbs, domestic battey w/deadly weapon (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The Kentucky State Police were catching some flak over a photo
posted on Clutterbook Facebook captioned  "Our  color  is  gray,
our gender is trooper."
                                                                           [courtesy LEX18]

juanpere.jpg Kentcuky's most wanted: Juan Perez, HM, 5'8", 150 lbs, manslaught5er 2, DUI, no ins, there are no photos of this criminal on the run fro Madisonville (onlyinyourstate.com); Lexington's and Powell County's: Elizabeth Dawson, WF, 30, 5'7", 135 lbs, theft, criminal mischief (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Dog of the week:  Hair Dog It's William James Durbin, of Roundhill, Kentucky,  better known as  "Hair Dog"; and it's an Edmonson County mug shot.

16-A Tight deadlines might make an electrician's job
          GO DOWN TO THE WIRE

24-A  An electrian who is testing results may become a
          SWITCH HITTER

42-A  An electrician resolves legal matters at
           CIRCUIT COURT

56-A  A stressed electrician may need an
           EMOTIONAL OUTLET
                                                        [courtesy Los Angeles Times, July 7, 2021]

Celebrity lookalikes             Porn star                                Doug Doscher,  proprietor of                                                   Doug's Motor City motorcyle                                                   bar in Bowling Green, Ky.

The global number of new Covid-19 cases in the last week equaled the
number in the first five months of the pandemic.  .  .  .  Accusations  of
plagiarism against Meghan Makrle  were refuted by the author  said  to
have been copied. . . .  Execution by firing squad was restored in South
Carolina.
                                                               [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

 

danunger.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas):          Daniel John Ungeer, WM, 21, 5'9", 200 lbs, upside down ears, Sex assault fam. violence; Wanted in Waco: Austin Ray Hewitt, WM, 27, 5'10", 165 lbs, robbery; Ireneo Gomez-Juarez M, 52, 5'6" 203 lbs, sex offender registry violation; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Lace Omaradanyel Lucas, BF, 33, 5'2", 303 lbs (Yorkshire hog), breast tattooed w/heart and "Lula Douglas," forgery; Roberto Camacho, WM, 35, 5'8", 140 lbs, clown tattooed on right arm, prob. viol. (registration) (Abilene Crime Stoppers, City of Waco, Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)

marinzem.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas,Sheriff): Marina Zemka, 28, DUI; Raquel Orosco, 26, DUI; Melisa Epperson, 38, fam. assault; Alicia Calhoun, 32, inj. to child; Kandra Fuchs, 38, assault; Jennifer Sentena, 35, DWOL, speed.; Braeden Swain, 20, marijuana

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectual dissection of important current events are invited to attend  the  Weekly World News Round Table  at the offices of Borf  Books  out- side Brownsville,  Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday. Guest  speakers  lined up for meetings in the  near future  in- clude Jennifer Johnson, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife worker who took a nap with a giant sturgeon  pulled from the Detroit Riv- er.

hed21051.jpg Biden bids ado, much about nothing (TH); 'Caitlyn' Jenner running for gov (TH); Mother shoots son in Hart (Park City (Bowling Green, Ky.) Daily News (Hart is a county near Bowling Green's Warren County); Ted Nugent tests positive after calling pandemic a 'scam" (Independent); The National Enquirer did return to southern Kentucky supermarkets last week, but none oft he others as indicated by the optimistic letter from Waukegan, Illinois, printed below: Proof found year after 550,000 Americans died, Covid escaped from China lab! (Enquirer)

J. Ewing wrote Sun 4/25/21 @09:13 EDT:

You  are  wrong:     Looks like you are going to have to post a
"Cat of the Week" now – or suffer being called a cat bigot and
having the TH boycotted by us more "woke" cat lovers.
😸 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cat_breeds

I'm right.  All cats are lazy, warm, fuzzy, snarly, cuddly, unaffection-
ate, proud, self-absorbed, self-satisfied, egocentric and independent.    – Editor

Carole Otis wrote Sat 4/24/21 from Waukegan, Illinois, @12:49 CDT:

I went into the Jewel today and there were lots of tabloids of all
kinds and variety at the check-out??!

Tested positive, 723,741; died, 13,332.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

tersherl.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Terrell Franklin, BM, 5'7", 150 lbs., domestic battery w/deadly weapon, coke; Shakyla Freeman, BF, 5'3", 2i00 lbs (Yorkshire hog), battery; Michelle Grove, WF, 5'5", 135 lbs, theft; Noblesville's: Christopher Van Sherlton, BM, coke (Michiana Crime Stoppers, Spotcrime)

sandkevn.jpg Wanted in Terre Haute: Kevin Jamarcus Sanders, 20, 5'11", 175 lbs, robbery, battery, marijuana (Wabash Valley Crime Stoppers)

More than three  dozen  deer  found  dead  in Newton County
were believed victims of parasites and cold weather.. . .

Indiana retained all of its nine seats in the U.S. House of Rep-
resentatives in the 2020 census.
                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

Tested positive, 447,473; died, 6,620.
                                                                    [courtesy N.Y. Times]

An alligator was caught in a canal in Lexington. . . .

Kentucky retained all of its six seats in the U.S. House of Repre-
esentatives in the 2020 census.
                                                                    [courtesy LEX18, AP]

peterspr.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Preston D. Peters, WM, 34, 5'8", 165 lbs, persistent felon (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said): "I once was the victim of a bad romance – I blame myself."                                                                        – Leonard Simon

Dog of the week:   green-eyed Coco Actually this dog's name was Coco. He was a 1995 Polish immigrant.

tanajean.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Jason Craig Southern, WM, 33, 5'9", 160 lbs, meth; Harold Edward Collins, HM, 23, 5'7", 210 lbs, ch sex assault; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Mark Kinast, WM, 54, 5'10", 200 lbs, probation violation (aggr. assault); Tana Jean Scott, WF, 55, 5'5", 145 lbs, heroin; Gerald McDow III, WM, 36, 6', 180 lbs, burglary (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)

George W. Bush said he wrote in Condoleezza Rice for President in 2020.
.  .  . A couple in Taiwan married four times and divorced three in 37 days
to take advantage of the country’s eight days of paid marriage leave.  .  .  .
Two fishermen in Monterrey, California, held a U.S.Geological Survey bu-
oy for $13,000 ransom. . . . The Food & Drug Administration was proceed-
ing with regulations prohibiting  menthol  in  cigarettes  in an effort to curb
nigger smoking (black lungs matter!)
                                                                     [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

weriwoha.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Rema Weriwoh,18, cont. subs.; Makinnah Davis, 21, fam.assault; Marissa Ynostrosa, 25, marijuana; Melinda Rios, 51, DUI x3; Andrea Bazan, 35, DOC, public intox.; Magdalene Rodriguez, 35, DOC, publ. intox.; Maria Reyes, 41, DUI

What does the "H" stand for in "Jesus H. Christ"?

Early entries:  "Harold," "Henry," "Hank," "Hebhoe," "Harrison"
(as in George),  "Hallucinating," "Harry" (as in Tom, Dick & __),
"Heck," "Hellfire," "Herman," "Hogwarts," "Horace,"  "Hosanna,"
"Human" (as in "Super_____").

The sports:                     The  Kentucky  Derby  was run on Derby Day for the first                     time in two years.  Medina Spirit won  (you couldn't see it                     on TV if you lived in Kentucky because it was  on  NBC –                     and,  did  anyone  else  notice  that  none of the 19 jockeys                     spoke English as his first language?).

lifedone.jpg Indian Hills Community Center: Cow stumbles into pot field! The steaks have neveer been higher! Life Saver Dude: Rare, or well dones?