June 27, 2021:  Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids  while waiting for your wife  at the coun-
ter in the supermarket –“ this week's headlines
:



hed21064.jpg An American royal baby (People); All about Lilibet Diana! America's first princess, Diana would be so proud, how birth is healing Harry & William's feud (US Weekly); Kate wins war with Meghan (Enquirer); William blasts Harry, 'Shut up, you're killing the Queen' (Globe); President & son's smoking gun, Joe Biden's hush-hush meeting with Hunter's foreign paymasters (Globe); New book bombshells, 'My Story in My Words", Loretta Lynn, 89; Lucille Ball's darkest secrets exposed, posed naked, sold her body, cheated on Desi, slept her way to the top (Examiner)
hed21064.jpg An American royal baby (People); All about Lilibet Diana! America's first princess, Diana would be so proud, how birth is healing Harry & William's feud (US Weekly); Kate wins war with Meghan (Enquirer); William blasts Harry, 'Shut up, you're killing the Queen' (Globe); President & son's smoking gun, Joe Biden's hush-hush meeting with Hunter's foreign paymasters (Globe); New book bombshells, 'My Story in My Words", Loretta Lynn, 89; Lucille Ball's darkest secrets exposed, posed naked, sold her body, cheated on Desi, slept her way to the top (Examiner)
hed21064545.jpg

Dumb news from Indiana:
Tested positive, 756,046; died, 13,822.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

An epidemic was killing songbirds in 15 Indiana counties, and
natural resources officials recommended that people get rid of
their bird feeders.
                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

taraditz.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Kortnee Gross-Payton, WF, 5'3", 140 lbs; Dustin Dokey, WM, 5'9", 175 lbs, parole absconders; Tara Dietz, WF, 5'9", 150 lbs, Theft (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
taraditz.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Kortnee Gross-Payton, WF, 5'3", 140 lbs; Dustin Dokey, WM, 5'9", 175 lbs, parole absconders; Tara Dietz, WF, 5'9", 150 lbs, Theft (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Dumb news from Kentucky:
Tested positive, 465,232; died, 7,252.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Fourteen persons were arrested, 34 more were criminally char-
ged and a number were injured, including a man
impaled by a
log  that  pierced the  floorboard of his vehicle,  at  a  five-day
"Redneck  Rave"  in Blue Holler OffRoad Park  in Edmonson
County.
. . .

"If Elizabethtown is the backbutt of Kentucky, Bowling Green is
 the frontbutt.  And Louisville is the shit."
 
        
                                                           [courtesy Hairy Times]
                    floyd01.jpg Wanted in Floyd County: Patricia Morgan, 28,  Coke (Spotcrime)
floyd01.jpg Wanted in Floyd County: Patricia Morgan, 28,  Coke (Spotcrime)
Quotations of the week:
                                            "If you get debunked, detested and demoralized, were you once bunked,
                                              tested and moralized?"

                                                                                        – Richard Lederer

Dog of the weekDalmatian
Like the Great Dane,  this one gets capitalized, since it
refers to a place.   But the dang Danes insist that it is a
misspelling of "damnation."  Whatever. You should be
able to find one on your local fire truck.
dalmatin.jpg
Birthdays:
                 June 21:  Edward Snowden, 38
                                 Prince William, 39
                                 Joko Widodo, 60
                                 Kathy Mattea, 62
                                 "Pistol" Pete Maravich (1947-1988)
                                 Benazir Bhutto (1953-2007)
                                 John Dean ("Little Jackie Half-") Collum (1927-2009)
                   June 22:  Erin Brockovich, 61
                                  Cyndi Lauper, 68
                                  Meryl Streep, 72
                                  Lindsay Wagner, 72
                                  Elizabeth Warren, 72
                                  Kris Kristofferson, 85
                                  Dianne Feinstein, 88
                   June 23: 
Zinédine Zidane,49
                                  Frances McDormand, 64
                                  Clarence Thomas,73
                                  Wilma Rudolph (1940-1994)
                                  June Carter Cash (1929-2003)
                                 
Jean Benoît Guillaume Robert Antoine Louis Marie Adolphe Marc
                                                            d'Aviano, Grand Duke of Luxembourg (1921-2000)     
                   June 24:  Jeff Beck, 77
                                   Mick Fleetwood, 79
                   June 25:  Carly Simon, 76
                                  James Meredith, 88
                                  Phyllis George (1949-2020)
                   June 26: 
Derek Jeter, 47
                                 
Nick Offernan, 51
                                  Chuck Robb, 82
                   June 27:  
Khloe Kardashian, 37
Tabloid deadlines:
                                Leroy Jones, 70
                                Benigno Aquino III, 61
                                Charles Thomas "Tom" Carey, 56
                                Antonio "Tony" Cilone Sr., 56
                                Lawrence "Larry" Combs, 96
                                Norma Jean "Jeanie" Compton, 83
                                Olivette "Vette" Flynn, 81
                                Lawrence "Larry" Froehlich Sr., 79
                                Charles B. "Charley" Harris, 78
                                William "Bill" Jaggers, 66
                                Gerald Lee "Jerry" Mattingly, 70
                                Thomas "Tom" McMullen, 75
                                Richard Leo "Dick" Miller, 95
                                Richard G. "Dickie" Nalley, 72
                                James Edward "Eddie" Noel Jr., 69
                                Woodford R. "Woody" Porter Jr., 72
                                William E. "Bill" Reed, 86
                                William H. "Bill" Smith, 71
                                William Joseph "Bill" Spath, 86
                                Laurence William "Larry" Stalker, 45
                                Douglas Dewitt "Doug" Stegner, 92
                                Wallace "Wally" Wheeler, 79
                                Frederick "Fred" Williams Sr., 74
                                Leatrice "Lea" Woods, 85
                                James E. "Jim" Young, 95
                                Da'Nyla Grinage, 12

                                                                                [Louisville Courier-Journal]

Borf 's weekly BONUS:
Colorado issued its first excessive heat warning ever, expecting temper-
atures up to 110° on the Western Slope. . . .
West Virginia Congressman
Alex Mooney was reported to have spent $1,900 in campaign funds  for
53 meals at Chick-fil-A  . . . The Emmys decided to allow contestants to
substitute "gender neutral" terms,  such as  "performers,"  for such terms
as "actors" and "actresses." . . .  A herd of 30 to 40 cattle escaped from a
slaughterhouse in Los Angeles County, California, and roamed the neigh-
borhood,  and songwriter Diane Warren stepped in to save one cow,  that
she had sent to a sanctuary.  . . . Two Hoosiers were charged with animal
cruelty  after a dead monkey was found in their hot car parked at a water
park in Sevierville, Tennessee.
                                                                [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

natashad.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Justin Wayne Belcher, WM, 33, 5'10", 200 lbs, probation violation (burglary); Natasha Denise Peters, BF, 38, 5'3", 170 lbs, forgery; Mariah Marie Swank, BF, 26, 5'2", 175 lbs, probation violation (false inf.); Derek Michael Johnson, WM, 25, 6'4", 160 lbs, probation violation (burglary) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)
natashad.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Justin Wayne Belcher, WM, 33, 5'10", 200 lbs, probation violation (burglary); Natasha Denise Peters, BF, 38, 5'3", 170 lbs, forgery; Mariah Marie Swank, BF, 26, 5'2", 175 lbs, probation violation (false inf.); Derek Michael Johnson, WM, 25, 6'4", 160 lbs, probation violation (burglary) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

Dear Eleanor:

                            My granddaughter is getting married for the third time in
                            August.  We received a "save the date" card six months a-
                            go.  The first time she got married I attended the wedding
                            and gave a generous gift.   The second time,  I sent a card
                            with a small check.


                            Am I obligated to attend this wedding?  It is out of state –
                            which means air fare and hotel besides yet another gift.

                                                               A Grandmother Who Doesn't Get It

Dear Gramma:
                               I  hear  ya!  Tell da liddle biddie to make up her fucking

                               liddle mind for once.

The sports:
A man from La Mesa, California, who has been playing
golf for 50 years  vowed to play  50 rounds  in 50 states
in 50 days.

katelynn.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Mitchell Vitale, 36, no driv. lic., ctl. substances; Debra Trevino, 46, burglary; Crystal Helfrich, 40, bad check; Katelynn Crawford, 29, marij.; Julisma Reyna, 18, mj.; April Rodriguez, 31, credit card abuse; Lisa Manis, 31, harassment, family assault, marijuana; Jesus Martinez, 26, intox.in publ.
katelynn.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Mitchell Vitale, 36, no driv. lic., ctl. substances; Debra Trevino, 46, burglary; Crystal Helfrich, 40, bad check; Katelynn Crawford, 29, marij.; Julisma Reyna, 18, mj.; April Rodriguez, 31, credit card abuse; Lisa Manis, 31, harassment, family assault, marijuana; Jesus Martinez, 26, intox.in publ.

DISCUSSION GROUP:

        Don't  forget!    Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to   attend   the  Weekly  World
News  Round  Table  at the offices of Borf Books  outside  Browns-
ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday.    Guest   speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future include
Sojourner Ahébée.

lifekitc.jpg kitchen door at Doug's Motor City bar & grill, Bowling Green,Ky. "Keep this door locked"; Life Saver Dude: "I locked it behind me as I left"
lifekitc.jpg kitchen door at Doug's Motor City bar & grill, Bowling Green,Ky. "Keep this door locked"; Life Saver Dude: "I locked it behind me as I left"

HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE:

      Remember, if you don't want to receive any more of this inane crap,
just hit your "Reply" button and type in the subject line, "GET THESE
TABLOID HEADLINES OUT OF MY LIFE AND FUCK OFF!"

      But  remember also,  you have to spell and punctuate the message
exactly as it appears above €“ without quotation marks, and without that
redundant "Re: " that appears in so many subject lines €“ or  you'll  keep
getting  this  shit!  ("Cut and paste" won't work, either.  We have a spe-
cial filter to detect that.)


"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" €“ Karen Crockett


Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index
Borf Books       borf@borfents.com           Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                   The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210     War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

  270-597-2187   Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher   Natty Bumppo, writer/editor



June 20, 2021:  Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids  while waiting for your wife  at the coun-
ter in the supermarket –“ this week's headlines
:


hed21063.jpg Truth about Joe Biden's health, brain aneurisms, cancer surgery, real reason he keeps tripping (Enquirer); J-Lo- & Ben engagement shocker (In Touch); Angie's nightmare, Brad gets the kids (Star); Scientology cover-up exposed (Enquirer); Barack bitterly unhappy, new Obama marriage crisis (Globe); Sisters torn apart, Kim's affair with Kourtney's boy friend (US Weekly); Harry & Meghan kicked out of royal family (In Touch)
hed21063.jpg Truth about Joe Biden's health, brain aneurisms, cancer surgery, real reason he keeps tripping (Enquirer); J-Lo- & Ben engagement shocker (In Touch); Angie's nightmare, Brad gets the kids (Star); Scientology cover-up exposed (Enquirer); Barack bitterly unhappy, new Obama marriage crisis (Globe); Sisters torn apart, Kim's affair with Kourtney's boy friend (US Weekly); Harry & Meghan kicked out of royal family (In Touch)

Dumb news from Indiana:
Tested positive, 754,043; died, 13,766.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

De'Joure  Mercer,  a black Indianapolis cop  famous for killing
Dreasjon Reed last year, sued the National Football League for
martyring Reed (along with George Floyd).
                                                                        [courtesy LEX18]

branross.jpg South Bend's most wanted: (Michiana Crime Stoppers) Oliver Cooper, WM, 6'1", 150 lbs, upside down ears, auto theft, paraphernalia; Brrandon Ross, BM, 5'9"", 175 lbs, marijuana; Jeffery Vladic, WM, 5'11", 175 lbs, DUI; Krystina Rippberger, WF, 5'11", 150 lbs,meth; Danny Kirksey, WM, 5'7", 160 lbs, fraud; Miguel Perez, HM, 5'5", 130 lbs, coke; Glen Manda, BM, 6'1", 165 lbs, upside down ears, FTA
branross.jpg South Bend's most wanted: (Michiana Crime Stoppers) Oliver Cooper, WM, 6'1", 150 lbs, upside down ears, auto theft, paraphernalia; Brrandon Ross, BM, 5'9"", 175 lbs, marijuana; Jeffery Vladic, WM, 5'11", 175 lbs, DUI; Krystina Rippberger, WF, 5'11", 150 lbs,meth; Danny Kirksey, WM, 5'7", 160 lbs, fraud; Miguel Perez, HM, 5'5", 130 lbs, coke; Glen Manda, BM, 6'1", 165 lbs, upside down ears, FTA

Dumb news from Kentucky
:

Tested positive, 464,308; died, 7,225.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Thousands of Kentuckians were still waiting for unemployment
checks for claims filed more than a year ago when the coronavi-
rus pandemic  laid  them  off,  including  a  75-year-old  woman
who got only one check.
                                                                           [courtesy WFPL]


humphrey.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Walter Humphries, WM, 55, 5'11", 185 lbs, persistent felony offender; Darmohne D. Glenn, BM, 30, 6'2",220 lbs, narcotics, paraphernalia (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)
humphrey.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Walter Humphries, WM, 55, 5'11", 185 lbs, persistent felony offender; Darmohne D. Glenn, BM, 30, 6'2",220 lbs, narcotics, paraphernalia (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Summer cancer strikes winter firewood trove:


treecan1.jpg

                                       [Edmonson County,

treecan2.jpg

treecan3.jpg

Tabloid Headlines photos
]

Quotations of the week:
                                            "Do not come.  Do not come."
                                                                                                 – Kamala Harris, in Guatemala
                                           
"I never lied.."
                                                                    – Kayleigh McEnany

                                            "If the teacher taught, did the preacher praught?"
                                                                                                                                 
– Richard Lederer
Quotations of the weak:
                                             "It'
s the rarest of entomological delays."
                                                                                                                  – Delta Airlines

        "Happy  'Proud   Month'! . . .  This month at Cecily's Butter Shop,  we are running a special
           deal.  If you can prove that you're queer,  you get 3 pints off your choice of cream, chucks
           or ground butter."
                                           – Meg Stalter, on Twitter

Birthdays:
                   June 14:  "Boy George" O'Dowd, 60
                                   Janet Lennon, 75
                                   Donald Trump, 75

                                   Joe Arpaio, 89
                                   Ernesto "Che" Guevara (1928-1967)
                                   Burl Ives Matter (1909-1995)

                    June 15:  Terri Gibbs, 67
                                   Xi Jinping, 68
                    June 16: 
Phil Mickelson, 51
                                   Natty Bumppo
, 81
                                   Billy "Crash" Craddock, 82
                                   Geronimo (1829-1909)
                   June 17:  Venus Williams, 41
                                  Newt Gingrich,78

                                  Barry Manilow, 78
                   June 18:  Blake Shelton, 45
                                 Sandy Posey, 77

                                 Paul McCartney, 78
                   June 19:  Boris Johnson, 57
                                  Salman Rushdie, 74
                                  Aung San Suu Kyi, 76
                                  Elaine "Spanky" McFarlane, 79
                                  Shirley "Cha Cha" Muldowney, 81
                                  Lou Gehrig (1903-1941)
                   June 20
:  Nicole Kidman, 54
                                  Lionel Richie, 72
                                  Anne Murray, 76
                                  Brian Wilson, 79
                                  Jean-Marie Le Pen, 93
Tabloid deadlines
:
                                Kenneth Kaunda, 97
                                Jim "Mudcat" Grant, 85
                                Ned Beatty, 83
                                Bobby Unser, 87 (May 1)
                                Bobby Unser Jr., 65 (June 15)
                               bucklero.jpg Local spotlight Gentry Buckler Or "Buck" "Jeff", 78.Courier-Journal from Jun. 14 to Jun. 20, 2021 Louisville KY Ratterman & Sons Funeral Home
                                Gerald D. Wibbles, 65
                                Champ, 13
bucklero.jpg Local spotlight Gentry Buckler Or "Buck" "Jeff", 78.Courier-Journal from Jun. 14 to Jun. 20, 2021 Louisville KY Ratterman & Sons Funeral Home

Borf 's weekly BONUS:     
The White House press corps jet to the G-7 conference in Cornwallis, Wales,
was delayed 6½ hours by an invasion of cicadas. . . . Brazilian President Joal
Bolsonaro was fined $110 for violating Sao Paulo's mask mandate. .  .  .
A re-
port from ProPublica revealed that the 25 richest Americans paid  an  average
income tax rate of 15.8 per cent  from 2014 to 2018,  lower   than  the average
rate of Americans making $45,000 a year.. . . El Salvador became the first na-
tion to recognize Bitcoin as legal tender. .  .  . A recent study suggested laugh-
ing gas
as a treatment for depression.
                                                                          [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

matteoal.jpg Arrested in Abilene: Matteo Alejandro Gamboa, HM, 19, 5'11", 150 lbs, aggrav. robbery; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Jessica Lee Cartere, WF, 34, 5'4", 150 lbs, prob. viol. (opiates); Melissa Gilford, WF, 35, 5'3", 160 lbs, p.v. (credit card (ab.) (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kansas) Sheriff)
matteoal.jpg Arrested in Abilene: Matteo Alejandro Gamboa, HM, 19, 5'11", 150 lbs, aggrav. robbery; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Jessica Lee Cartere, WF, 34, 5'4", 150 lbs, prob. viol. (opiates); Melissa Gilford, WF, 35, 5'3", 160 lbs, p.v. (credit card (ab.) (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kansas) Sheriff)

Dog of the weekSiberian husky
It is said that Siberian huskies get
lonesome  if  left alone  too  long;
that is why we have pictured  two.
Asian, not Alaskan, in origin.
sibhusky.jpg
Dear Eleanor:
                             What is the plural of Big Foot?
                                                                                      B. Woods
Dear B:
                 If you believe, the plural is Big Foots.  If you do not
                 believe,  there is no plural.

jerimiah.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Jerimiah Delatorre, 37, threat to publish; Courtney Proctor, 27, publ. intox.; Alice Rodriguez, 38, parole viol.; Jana Thompson, 35, mob.; Venetta Young, 61, DUI; Littlesnow Garcia, 34, ag. assault; Rosy Bryant, 42, mobery; Shanda Cruz, 38, ctl. subs.
jerimiah.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Jerimiah Delatorre, 37, threat to publish; Courtney Proctor, 27, publ. intox.; Alice Rodriguez, 38, parole viol.; Jana Thompson, 35, mob.; Venetta Young, 61, DUI; Littlesnow Garcia, 34, ag. assault; Rosy Bryant, 42, mobery; Shanda Cruz, 38, ctl. subs.
DISCUSSION GROUP:

        Don't  forget!    Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to   attend   the  Weekly  World
News  Round  Table  at the offices of Borf Books  outside  Browns-
ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday.    Guest   speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future include
Shelley Moore Capito.

lifesalu.jpg "Oooh, it says here you graduated as salutatorian. Very impressive. Where did you  attend?" "I was home-schooled" Life Saver Dude: That's my brother! I came in third!
lifesalu.jpg "Oooh, it says here you graduated as salutatorian. Very impressive. Where did you  attend?" "I was home-schooled" Life Saver Dude: That's my brother! I came in third!

HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE:


      Remember, if you don't want to receive any more of this inane crap,
just hit your "Reply" button and type in the subject line, "GET THESE
TABLOID HEADLINES OUT OF MY LIFE AND FUCK OFF!"

      But  remember also,  you have to spell and punctuate the message
exactly as it appears above €“ without quotation marks, and without that
redundant "Re: " that appears in so many subject lines €“ or  you'll  keep
getting  this  shit!  ("Cut and paste" won't work, either.  We have a spe-
cial filter to detect that.)


"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" €“ Karen Crockett


Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index
Borf Books       borf@borfents.com           Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                   The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210     War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

  270-597-2187   Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher   Natty Bumppo, writer/editor



June 13, 2021:   They're back in the supermarkets!   Things  you
would never know if you did not browse the tabloids while wait-
ing for your wife  at checkout –“ this week's headlines
:

hed21062.jpg It's official! Queen gives up the throne, it's King William & Queen Kate (Star); UFO's tangle with Navy warplanes (Enquirer); Cher at 75! (People); Bill Gates caught cheating (Globe); 56th anniversary, Sound of Music secrets revealed, Christopher Plummer hated Julie Andrews (Examiner)
hed21062.jpg It's official! Queen gives up the throne, it's King William & Queen Kate (Star); UFO's tangle with Navy warplanes (Enquirer); Cher at 75! (People); Bill Gates caught cheating (Globe); 56th anniversary, Sound of Music secrets revealed, Christopher Plummer hated Julie Andrews (Examiner)

and here's what could be found on line:

hed210622.jpg Charles' bitter revenge on Meghan, her children will never get royal titles, writes Harry out of $100 million will, order palace staff never to mention her name (Enquirer); Kelly chases toxic Ellen off TV (Enquirer); Ghislaine Maxwell beaten in prison (Enquirer); J-Lo spotted at Ben Affleck's place (In Touch); Couple who met during pandemic tenderly remove each other's masks (Onion)
hed210622.jpg Charles' bitter revenge on Meghan, her children will never get royal titles, writes Harry out of $100 million will, order palace staff never to mention her name (Enquirer); Kelly chases toxic Ellen off TV (Enquirer); Ghislaine Maxwell beaten in prison (Enquirer); J-Lo spotted at Ben Affleck's place (In Touch); Couple who met during pandemic tenderly remove each other's masks (Onion)

hed2106623.jpg

LETTERS to the EDITOR:
Jeremy Durbin wrote 6/7/21 @08:15 CDT:
Interesting headline on Frontier Airlines.  I was sitting on
a Frontier jet waiting to go to the runway when  I  read  it.
Jiggling.

Dumb news from Indiana
:
Tested positive, 751,991; died, 13,714.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

chismray.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Joshua Chism, BM, 5'6", 160 lbs, meth, auto theft; Sander Ray, BM, 5' 9", 140 lbs, armed robbery (Michiana Crime Stoppers)
chismray.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Joshua Chism, BM, 5'6", 160 lbs, meth, auto theft; Sander Ray, BM, 5' 9", 140 lbs, armed robbery (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A fence was built around a post office in Bloomington to pro-
tect postal workers from the homeless. . . .

A 47-year-old woman  passed out on a roller coaster in Santa
Claus and died.
                                                  [courtesy Columbus Republic]

Dumb news from Kentucky
:

Tested positive,
463,090; died, 7,196.
                                                                 [courtesy N.Y. Times]
Eighty dogs were rescued from a woman's home in Munford-
ville.
                                                [courtesy Hart County Herald]

Danville police asked for public help to stop
SplatRBall Blas-
ter attacks on people and vehicles. . . .

Nine motor vehicles piled up in a single accident between Be-
rea and Mount Ver non. . . .

A wrong-way driver killed six people in another car, including
five children, on I-75 in Lexington.  In another crash  the  next
day,  on New Circle Road,  the wrong-way driver was killed.

 
               
                                                        [courtesy LEX18]

rainwalk.jpg Rainbow crosswalks unveiled in downtown Lexington LEX18
rainwalk.jpg Rainbow crosswalks unveiled in downtown Lexington LEX18

                                                                                brownbry.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Bryan Dee Brown, BM, 24, 5'9", 200 lbs, narcotics (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)
brownbry.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Bryan Dee Brown, BM, 24, 5'9", 200 lbs, narcotics (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)
Quotation of the week:
                                        "If you wrote a letter, you bote your tongue."

                                                                                                                    – Richard Lederer

Quotation of the weak:
                                        "
The only good thing that will come out of this is a lot of stupid people
                                          will be killed off.
"
                                                                          – Christian radio's Rick Wiles, deploring Covid-19
                                                                             vaccination before he came down with Covid-19

Dog of the weekchow chow
Originally a Chinese breed,  that some
consider too aggressive for home pets.
But your editor's Polish wife once had
a perfectly behaved chow chow named
Ma/a (pronounced "MOW-uh"), which
is Polish for  "little."    And
Ma/a had a
daughter named Whiskey.

chowchow.jpg
Birthdays:
                    June 7:  Former Vice President Mikey, 62
                                  Tom Jones, 81
                                  Prince (1958-2016)
                                  Thurman Munson (1947-1979)
                    June 8:  Kim Clijsters, 38
                                  Shilpa Shetty, 46
                                  William Royce "Boz" Scaggs, 77
                                  Lt. William Calley, 78
                                  Nancy Sinatra, 81
                    June 9:  Johnny Depp, 58
                                  Bill Virdon, 90
                    June 10:  Tara Lipinski, 39
                                   Dan Fouts, 70
                                  
João Gilberto 1931-2019)
                                  
F. Lee Bailey (1933-2021)
                                   Prince Philip (1921-2021                                  
                    June 11: 
Shia LaBeouf, 35
                                  
Diana Taurasi, 39
                                   Mehmet ("Dr.") Oz, 61
                                   Joe Montana, 65
                    June 12:  Richard M. Sherman, 93
                                   Armando ("Chick") Corea (1941-2021)
                    June 13:  Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen, 35


Tabloid deadlines
:
                                Chika Sedlaczek, 40 (in Kentucky, that last name is pronounced "Saddlecheck"
                                                                                                   – we don't know about the first name)
                                           [Louisville Courier-Journal]

        lynnmeek.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Jerry Lynn Meeks, WM, 59, 5'9", 180 lbs, aggravated assault; Syblie Gonzalez, HF, 44, 5'2", 105 lbs, heroin; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Samuel James Seiber, WM, 37, 6'1", 180 lbs, burglary; Elizabeth Rae Howard, a/ik/a Sandlin, WF, 32, 5'7", 135 lbs, tattoos rt. hip, l. arm, ag. battery with deadly weapon, ID theft, forgery; Clark Ivan Coleman Jr., BM, 34, 5'8", 165 lbs, tattoos neck, rt arm, chest, battery of law enforcement ofcr. (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kansas) Sheriff)
lynnmeek.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Jerry Lynn Meeks, WM, 59, 5'9", 180 lbs, aggravated assault; Syblie Gonzalez, HF, 44, 5'2", 105 lbs, heroin; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Samuel James Seiber, WM, 37, 6'1", 180 lbs, burglary; Elizabeth Rae Howard, a/ik/a Sandlin, WF, 32, 5'7", 135 lbs, tattoos rt. hip, l. arm, ag. battery with deadly weapon, ID theft, forgery; Clark Ivan Coleman Jr., BM, 34, 5'8", 165 lbs, tattoos neck, rt arm, chest, battery of law enforcement ofcr. (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kansas) Sheriff)
Borf 's weekly BONUS:     
Prince Harry and "Duchess" Meghan welcomed their second child, Lilibet
Diana. . . . Ex-President Trump's new internet blog was shut down for lack
of readership. . . . A motorist in Indian River County,  Florida,  stopped af-
ter a high-speed chase,  threw his 2-month old baby  at  the  police. .  .  . A
merry-go-round horse with an  Indian  head  in its saddlebag was removed
from an amusement park in Thornton, Colorado. .  .  .  Two sisters were ar-
rested for driving around Cincinnati,Ohio, shooting sleeping homeless peo-
ple with BB guns. . . . Nevada has prohibited certain "nonfunctional" grass
lawns to conserve water. . . . A woman  was  bitten  by  an  alligator  while
walking her dog in Palm Harbor, Florida. .  .  .The state of Washington ap-
proved marijuana bonuses for Covid-19 vaccinations  ("Joints  for  Jabs").

                                                                   
[courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

dandavid.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County,Texas,Sheriff): Daniel David, 39, marijuana; Tasha Rose, 34, marijuana; Marie Guajardo, 51, DUI; Janet Cuellar, 52, fraud; Alicia Diaz, 38, DUI; Rebecca Bricken, 39, trespass; Tiffany Wilson, 40, ctl. subs.; John Brown, 29, pub. intox.
dandavid.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County,Texas,Sheriff): Daniel David, 39, marijuana; Tasha Rose, 34, marijuana; Marie Guajardo, 51, DUI; Janet Cuellar, 52, fraud; Alicia Diaz, 38, DUI; Rebecca Bricken, 39, trespass; Tiffany Wilson, 40, ctl. subs.; John Brown, 29, pub. intox.

Dear Eleanor:
                            I'm  on  the  verge  of a divorce from my first and on-
                            ly wife.  Lately I have acquired a quite lovely "dumb
                            girl friend."     I call her that because a younger guy I
                            have breakfast with every Sunday refers  to  the  first
                            girl friend he has had since high school as his "dumb
                            girl friend."

                            Neither of them is really dumb,  you understand,  but,
                            they are girls;  so,  what do you expect?

                            My  young  buddy  and  I  and his father and another
                            friend or two of ours  constitute what we all call "the
                            Breakfast Club."  We are constantly in search of new
                            issues  and  conversational topics  for  every  Sunday.
                            My  older  buddy  thinks  the girls might liven things
                            up;  and I have offered my "dumb girl friend"  for  at-
                            tendance;  but my younger buddy seems reluctant  to
                            offer  his  (even though she has attended two or three
                            times, to the delight of all of us).

                            So how do I get Dumb Girl Friend No. 1 to join Dumb
                            Girl Friend No. 2 at the Breakfast Club?
                                                                                                           Steve
Dear Steve-o:
                            Get Dumby No. 1 to invite Dumby No. 2  to  breakfast,
                            and  then  get  them  to invite  the  guys  (or as many of
                            them as are not too proud to attend).
                                                                                             Dumb Eleanor


                            P.S.  You and your younger friend might want to consid-
                                    er how the term "dumb girl friend" reflects on you


People who invited us to be their "friends" on Clutterbook Facebook in the last week included
        Wiktoria Dąbczyńskawiktoria.jpg

DISCUSSION GROUP:

    Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu-
al dissection of important current events are invi-
ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta-
ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns-
ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday.
Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near
future include Shilpa Shetty.
shilpash.jpg


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lifeside.jpg Sidewalk closed Life Saver Dude Damn, what the hell are we gonna do now?
lifeside.jpg Sidewalk closed Life Saver Dude Damn, what the hell are we gonna do now?

"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" €“ Karen Crockett

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Borf Books       borf@borfents.com           Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                   The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210     War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

  270-597-2187   Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher   Natty Bumppo, writer/editor



June 6, 2021:   Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife  at the coun-
ter in the supermarket  after waiting for your wife  to get off
the internet –“ this week's headlines
:

hed21061.jpg Bush on cocaine in White House (Globe); Stedman's jealous rage, 'It's Obama or me!', Oprah love triangle! (Examiner); Nightmare sex scandal testimony, Meghan & Harry sell out Andrew to the Feds (Enquirer); Frontier Airlines reduces fleet to 1 agent lifting & jiggling passengers while making loud motor sounds (Onion)
hed21061.jpg Bush on cocaine in White House (Globe); Stedman's jealous rage, 'It's Obama or me!', Oprah love triangle! (Examiner); Nightmare sex scandal testimony, Meghan & Harry sell out Andrew to the Feds (Enquirer); Frontier Airlines reduces fleet to 1 agent lifting & jiggling passengers while making loud motor sounds (Onion)

LETTERS to the EDITOR:
J. Ewing wrote Sun 5/30/21 @13:34 EDT re Alabama's continued
prohibition of the  greeting "namaste":
What happens if someone asks if you are going to leave before
the yoga class begins and you reply, "Naw, ima stay"?

Dumb news from Indiana:
Tested positive, 749,471; died, 13,661.
                                                              [courtesy N.Y. Times]

State education officials asked South Bend schools to repay
more than $620,000 after an audit found they claimed mon-
ey for dozens of students who never logged in to alternative
classes
on line.

                                                [courtesy Columbus Republic]
 

pullmann.jpg Wanted for parole violation (Michiana Crime Stoppers): Russell Pullman, WM, 6', 190 lbs; Victoria Daniels, WF, 5'1", 140 lbs; Cora Hayes, WF, 5'3", 160 lbs; Savon Peak, BM, 5'6", 140 lbs; Michael Winston, WM, 6'2", 185 lbs; Markeese Hunter, BM, 5'7", 145 lbs; Robert Maxie, BM, 5'10", 215 lbs; Nate Sappington, WM, 5'6", 170 lbs; Todd Debroka, WM, 6', 190 lbs
pullmann.jpg Wanted for parole violation (Michiana Crime Stoppers): Russell Pullman, WM, 6', 190 lbs; Victoria Daniels, WF, 5'1", 140 lbs; Cora Hayes, WF, 5'3", 160 lbs; Savon Peak, BM, 5'6", 140 lbs; Michael Winston, WM, 6'2", 185 lbs; Markeese Hunter, BM, 5'7", 145 lbs; Robert Maxie, BM, 5'10", 215 lbs; Nate Sappington, WM, 5'6", 170 lbs; Todd Debroka, WM, 6', 190 lbs

Dumb news from Kentucky:
Tested positive, 461,450; died, 7,136.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Our favorite tree  (and a certain cow's):
About
half a mile west  of  the  Liberty
Hill Missionary Baptist Church on U.S.
Highway 31-W,  Edmonson County.

                     [Tabloid Headlines photo]

gonzalez.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Indiana): Frank Gonzalez, HM, 5'10", 175 lbs, crim mischief, resisting; Ankoma Kirk, BM, 5'9", 160 lbs, U.S. release viol.
treecow.jpg
gonzalez.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Indiana): Frank Gonzalez, HM, 5'10", 175 lbs, crim mischief, resisting; Ankoma Kirk, BM, 5'9", 160 lbs, U.S. release viol.

An Eiffel Tower was under construction in Paris, Kentucky.

   
        
                                                       [courtesy LEX18]

maullerj.jpg Lexington's most wanted: David Edelstein, WM, 31, 6'1",200 lbs, parole viol. (narcs); Christopher Strunk, WM, 34, 5'10", 140 lbs, theft; Cecil Slone, WM, 53, 5'8", 160 lbs, upside down ears, theft; Elizabethtown's: Jenny Mauller, WF, 49, 5'1", 119 lbs, parole violation; Paul Earl Watkins, WM, 47, 5'8", 160 lbs, bail bond violation (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers, Hardin County Sheriff)
maullerj.jpg Lexington's most wanted: David Edelstein, WM, 31, 6'1",200 lbs, parole viol. (narcs); Christopher Strunk, WM, 34, 5'10", 140 lbs, theft; Cecil Slone, WM, 53, 5'8", 160 lbs, upside down ears, theft; Elizabethtown's: Jenny Mauller, WF, 49, 5'1", 119 lbs, parole violation; Paul Earl Watkins, WM, 47, 5'8", 160 lbs, bail bond violation (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers, Hardin County Sheriff)

Quotation of the week:
"A writer writes; a speaker speaks.  So, does a grocer gross, an usher ush,
  and a haberdasher haberdash?"

                                                            – Richard Lederer

Dog of the weekbasset hound
Short-legged hound with sense of smell said to be
second only to the bloodhound's.  The name is de-
rived from the French word bas,  for "low."  Your
editor once personally (doggedly?)  knew a basset
hound in Sunfish, Ky., named Buford.
bassetog.jpg
Birthdays:
                   May 31:  Brooke Shields, 56
                                   Joe Namath, 78
                                   Peter Yarrow, 83
                                   Clint Eastwood, 91
 
                    June 1:  Alanis Morissette, 47
                                   Heidi Klum, 48
                                   Morgan Freeman, 84
                                   Pat Boone, 87
                     June 2:  Abby Wambach, 41
                                   Charlie Watts, 80
                                   Jim Maloney, 81
                     June 3:  Rafael Nadal, 35
                                   Jim Gentile, 87
                                   Raul Castro, 90
                     June 4:  Angelina Jolie, 46
                                   Mama Michelle, 77
                                   Dr. Ruth, 93
                     June 5:  Kenneth Bruce Gorelick ("Kenny G"), 65
                                   Gail Davies, 73
                                   Breonna Taylor (1993-2020)
                     June 6:  Holly Near, 72
                                   Gary "U.S." Bonds, 82
Tabloid deadlines
:
                                F. Lee Bailey, 87
                                Mike Marshall, 78


monicaho.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Monica Hodega, 40, abusive language; Stephanie Sambrano, 35, c.s.; Stephanie Howe, 45, trespass; BAILED OUT or ESCAPED; Rachel Hudgins, 28, DUI; Elyssa Niedzielski, 22, mobery; Stacy Rodriguez, 35, mj, paraph
monicaho.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Monica Hodega, 40, abusive language; Stephanie Sambrano, 35, c.s.; Stephanie Howe, 45, trespass; BAILED OUT or ESCAPED; Rachel Hudgins, 28, DUI; Elyssa Niedzielski, 22, mobery; Stacy Rodriguez, 35, mj, paraph
Borf 's weekly BONUS:     
The publisher of the National Enquirer, American Media,was fined $187,-
500 by the Federal Election Commission for a $150,000  paid  agreement
in 2016 to suppress a story about Playboy model Karen McDougal's affair
with Donald Trump (CEO David Pecker was a friend of Trump). .  .  . An-
heuser-Busch joined President Biden's goal of  70 per cent  vaccination  in
an offer of free beer if it happens. . . . The federal Food & Drug administra-
tion warned people not to eat cicadas if they are allergic to sea food. . . . A
hat shop in Nashville, Tennessee, Hatwrksannounced via Instantspam In-
stagram that it was selling $5 Star of David patches reading  "not  vaccin-
ated."
. . .
OSHA reported that Amazon, the second-largest private employ-
er in the United States, has the highest amount of workplace accidents in its
warehouses, nearly double the rate of non-Amazon warehouse workers. . . .
Seven Tasmanian devils were said to have been born in a nature preserve in
Australia 3,000 years after the animals were said to have gone extinct. .  .  .
The bride collapsed and died at her wedding in  Uttar  Pradesh,  India,  and
the groom married her younger sister.
. . . A man accused of animal cruelty
in beating an iguana to death in West Palm Beach, Florida,  was denied the
"stand your ground" defense.

                                                                       [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

rogscott.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Roger Scott Wilson, WM, 50, 5'9", 165 lbs, ag. kidnapping; Richard Michael Nieves, HM, 38, 5'8", 240 lbs, fail. to reg.; Ashley Renée Alaniz, WF, 36, 5'4", 140 lbs, aggravated kidnapping; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Marlon Terelle Hardy Jr., BM, 28, 5'9", 176 lbs, aggravated battery; Christopher E. Stephen Jr., WM, 44, 6', 240 lbs, ag. ass. (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)
rogscott.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Roger Scott Wilson, WM, 50, 5'9", 165 lbs, ag. kidnapping; Richard Michael Nieves, HM, 38, 5'8", 240 lbs, fail. to reg.; Ashley Renée Alaniz, WF, 36, 5'4", 140 lbs, aggravated kidnapping; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Marlon Terelle Hardy Jr., BM, 28, 5'9", 176 lbs, aggravated battery; Christopher E. Stephen Jr., WM, 44, 6', 240 lbs, ag. ass. (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)
Dear Eleanor:
                            I'm an octogenarian man, still in good health. I try
                            to keep abreast of the latest news,  including #Me-
                            Too and respect owed to women,  especially regar-
                            ding minimizing nouns of address.

                            I am puzzled, however, that so many women in po-
                            sitions of public engagement  (waitresses, cashiers,
                            hygienists, nurses, etc.)  feel free to belittle and de-
                            grade me by calling me "Honey," "Sweetie," "Dear-
                            ie,"  ad  nauseam.   These strangers do not speak to
                            young  and  middle-aged  persons  in  this  familiar
                            way. Why do they feel free to embarrass and deval-
                            ue seniors with this gibberish?

                            When  one  clerk  asked,  "May I have your credit
                            card,  Sweetie?"   I replied that my name was  "In-
                            deed,  not  Sweetie."  How best to handle these un-
                            pleasant, demeaning, disrespectful situations?


                                                                                                  Indeed
Dear Indie:
                         Grab 'em in the crotch.

 

The sports:
osakanao.jpg

Japanese tennis star Naomi Osaka was fined
$15,000 for skipping a press conference after
winning her first-round match at  the  French
Open tennis tournament  (she said she's dod-
ging the press for her mental health)   –  and
she withdrew from the tournament.

           baffertb.jpg
yanasizi.jpg

Russian player Yana Siziko-
va  was  arrested  for match-
fixing. . . .


Essential  Quality   became
the third separate winner of
a leg  of this year's horse ra-
cing "Triple Crown" by win-
ning   yesterday's   Belmont
Stakes,  as Bob Baffert,  the
trainer  of  Kentucky  Derby
winner  Medina Spirit,  was
suspended for two years  by
Derby host Churchill Downs
for  drugs found in his horse
after the race.
DISCUSSION GROUP:

        Don't  forget!    Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to   attend   the  Weekly  World
News  Round  Table  at the offices of Borf Books  outside  Browns-
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lined up for meetings in the near future include
Adhiti Bandlamudi.

lifeearth.jpg Today we'll share the secret to a healthy,shiny exoskeleton Life SaverDude: Arthopodcast
lifeearth.jpg Today we'll share the secret to a healthy,shiny exoskeleton Life SaverDude: Arthopodcast

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