J. Ewing wrote Sun 8/22/21 @20:09 EDT re last week's
quotation of the week:

Sounds like we were very successful in turning Afghanistan in-
to a replica of the U.S.   We should offer George Bush,  Donald
Trump and the rest of the GOP  to them for leaders.

Tested positive, 847,057; died, 14,373.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Tested positive, 564,438 died, 7,739.
                                                                        [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Bold and Bossy,  a 2-year-old filly,  threw her jockey approaching
the starting gate at a race at  Ellis  Park  in Henderson  and  bolted
out to Interstate 69,   where she eventually was corralled by a pos-
se of trainers following her.
                                          [courtesy Columbus (Ind.) Republic]

Twenty school bus routes have been canceled in Lexington for lack
of drivers.
                                                                        [courtesy LEX18]

latheryt.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Tony Lathery, WM, 28, 6'3", 230 lbs, receiving stolen property; Cody Evridge, WM, 27, 5'10", 160 lbs, probation violation (marijuana) (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Dog of the week:  Skye terrier Feisty and loud,  they love to dig – inside and out.  They don't like to be left alone.

brradkeim.jpg  Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County,Texas, Sheriff): Bradley Keim, 50, DUI; Amiee Rodriguez, 22, family assault; Natalea Hill, 20, marijuana; Anna Garcia, 35, harassment; Keyli Ho, 22, fam. assault; Taylor Lee, 32, DUI; Cameron McCraw, 19, assault

A conservative talk radio host in Nashville, Tennessee,  who preached
against vaccination died of COVID-19. . . . The vaccinated Jesse Jack-
son and his unvaccinated wife were hospitalized with the disease.  . . .
Sri Lanka's president demoted his health minister, a woman who advo-
cated sorcery as a treatment for the disease. .  .  . A woman was barred
from the chimpanzee section at the zoo in Antwerp, Belgium,  after de-
veloping a special bond with one of the animals.  .  .  .  The driver of a
SUV found in a river in Yakima, Washington,  said he drove it in to re-
fill the radiator. . . . Kanye West filed a petition in Los Angeles, Calif-
ornia, to change his name to Ye (no Kan, no West, no middle, no last).
.  . .  A judge in Grand Haven, Michigan, ordered a couple to pay their
son $30,000 for his pornography collection they destroyed.

                                                             [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

kaycelln.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Kayce Ellen Arnold, WF, 41, 5'7", 180 lbs, prob. viol. (burglary); Loi Tan Huynh, AM, 41, 5'3", 180 lbs, Opiates; Arrested in Abilene (Texas,not Kansas) Cabeza de Baca, Silvia Mireya [sic], HF, 5'10", 150 lbs, meth (Sedgwick County (Kas.) Sheriff, Abilene Crime Stoppers)

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meeings in the  near future include Kamala Harris.

The sports: "Purdue  Pete,"  of  Purdue University in  West Lafayette,  Indiana,  was  ad- judged creepiest mascot in the NCAA.

Craig Klugman wrote Sun 8/15/21 @11:57 EDT:

Correction to last week's Sports news:  It was the Chicago
White Sox,  not the Cleveland Indians,  that the New York
Yankees lost to in the game in Iowa.

Right you are!  It was Chicago's home game in Iowa, not Cleve-
land's.  Besides which, it's about time to start calling Cleveland's
baseballers the Guardians, isn't it?

Tested positive, 820,507; died, 14,228.
                                                                      [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Two  years  after a Tesla crash on I-70 near Cloverdale that killed
Jenna Monet, 23,  her family still is looking for her bluetick shep-
her hound Milo, who was with her.
                                                            [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

lumpkinm.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Marty Lumpkin, BM, 5'7", 130 lbs, driving w/o license, leaving scene of accid.; Jason Ewing, WM, 5'9", 165 lbs, meth, domestic battery; Todd Kimberlin, WM, 6'1", 150 lbs, intimidation; Joseph Stansberry, BM, 6', 165 lbs, strangulation (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.)

It's I-65 northeast of Bowling Green, Ky., and the road to our Sunday morning breakfast
club (please join us; all you have to do is show up) at Doug's Motor City bar & grill,  on
Cumberland Trace highway just north of Scottsville Road.
                                                                                                         [photo by Patty Clark]
Tested positive, 536,091; died, 7,572.
                                                               [courtesy N.Y. Times]

The University of Kentucky objected to the Commonwealth
(state) of Kentucky's use of the  brand  name  "TEAM KEN-
TUCKY" for a line of clothing.
                                                                     [courtesy LEX18]

Dog of the week:  Yorkshire terrier Not to he confused  with  a  Yorkshire hog.   Bred in England to fight vermin in factories and mines,   they take their duties  seriously.  Clocking in at only 7 pounds, this dog is quite alert.

strooper.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Richaard Stroope, WM, 54, 5'9", 140 lbs, theft; Shantee Neecole Boswell, BF, 34, 5'6", 145 lbs, Heroin; Ryan Carter, WM, 25, 5'10", 165 lbs, exploiting disabled; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Kasandra Mari Morris, WF, 32, 5'7", 140 lbs, opiate (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County Kas. Sheriff)

prissoli.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Tezxas, Sheriff): Priscilla Solis, 37, parole violation; Brandy Morris, 46, c.s.; Monica Gutierrez, 26, DUI; Isabella Shaner, 26, fam. assault; Myrtle Smith, 50, paraph.; McKenzi Baile, fam. assault; Stephanie Howe, crim. tresp.; Tanya Sparks, 40, ctl. substs.; Yesenia Vera, 29, U.S. hold; Kayla Watson, 33, indecent exposure;
Maria Rodriguez, 46, paraphernalia; Laquiet Hayes, 31, paraphernalia, joy riding; Melinda Ramirez, 31, crim. tresp.; Kimberly Ybarra, 28, contempt of court; Yvonne Alvarez, 36, c.s.; Linda Fuentes, 34, forgery; Jennifer Nesbit, 45, credit card abuse; Monica Hogeda, 41, tresp.; Olga Guerrero, 32, ctl. sub; three escaped or bailed out before we could transcribe their ID's or charges

Seventy per cent of Americans think they have become smarter during
the pandemic.  . . .  Divorce filings in China went down 70 per cent af-
ter the imposition of a 30-day "cooling off" period. . . . The percentage
of fathers who said working from home during the Pandemic improved
their mental health was 71; the percentage of mothers was 41. . . . Plas-
tic surgery for pointy ears has become the rage in China.  . . .  Bob Dyl-
an was sued by a woman who says he abused in 1965 her when she was
12 years old. . . .Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg tweeted that he
and his queer partner had become fathers (and that's all). .  .  . Governor
Abbott of Texas tested positive. . . . Clutterhook Facebook removed hun-
dreds of Russian accounts that posted Planet of the Apes memes insinua-
ting that the AstraZeneca shot  would turn patients into chimpanzees. . . .
A Las Vegas,  Nevada,  .landlord justified killing two tenants saying they
were behind on the rent and he did not want to go through a lengthy evic-
tion process. . . . Seven Congressmen tested positive.

                                                                 [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers in- terested  in   intellectual  dis-section of important current events are invited  to  attend the   Weekly   World   News Round  Table   at the offices of     Borf    Books    outside Brownsville, Kentucky,  just after  church  every  Sunday. Guest  speakers  lined up for meetings in  the  near  future include   Progressive's   Flo, who will ride to the meeting on  her  moose!

lifegram.jpg grammar/punctuation ;), "Yes, a winky face is correct. But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devicesknown as 'complete sentences'" Life Saver Dude: "Virtual grammar"

Craig Klugman wrote Sat 8/7/21 @21:44 EDT:

You’re a day early, old friend. But I read it Saturday
 night after I mopped the kitchen floor.

We e-mailed the August 8 edition the evening before  to a-
void Sunday morning internet connection problems.   – Editor

Sophie Ann Kind wrote Sat 8/7/21:

Where's the ethnic slur in "gypsy moth"?  The moth
should feel complimented, shouldn't it?

J. Ewing wrote Mon 8/9/21 @00:22 CDT:

Give Senator Rand Paul  a stack of law books  and  ask
him  to highlight which laws  he  agrees  to  follow  and
which  he will ignore,  and ask him to write an essay re-
lated  to each response,  along with a treatise on why he
wants  to be a lawmaker  if everyone can pick or choose
which laws he or she will or will not follow.

Tested positive, 800,096; died, 14,128.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

Valparaiso University changed its sport teams' name from the
Crusaders to the Beacons.
                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

montelgr.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Montel Green, BM, 6'3", 160 lbs, check deceptn.; William Binion Jr., BM, 5'11", 160 lbs, intimidation; Samuel Slater, BM, 5'5", 120 lbs, cocaine; James Turner, WM, 5'11", 195 lbs, coke (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.)

Tested positive, 513,402; died, 7,485.
                                                                        [courtesy N.Y. Times]

A sleeping 7-year-old girl was left on the bus at the end of the first
day of school in Lexington.
                                                                               [courtesy LEX18]

stonetyl.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Tyler O. Stone, WM, 27, 6'1", 175 lbs, rape, strangulation, unlawful transaction w/minio (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

New Texas Women''s Prison  regulation:  "Mail  received  with
the following is contraband and will result in major cases: Any
pictures of lingerie,  thong,  sex toys,  erection,   female breasts
with nipples or aureola showing,  buttocks  or partially covered
buttocks."

Editor's note:  We gotta be careful; we have seven subscri-
bers  in  the Texas Women's Prison  (including  our  recent
contributor,  Sophie Ann Kind – that's a pen name,  by the
way).    They all receive Tabloid Headlines in printed cop-
ies sent by mail, not e-mail; so, we think we can censor.

[censored]

Dog of the week:  Afghan hound Perhaps the prettiest dog of all, giving the lie  to the ugly coun- try  of  Afghanistan.  However, this breed is noted  for  a  sense of silliness.

cougarst.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Justin Cougar Storey, HM, 28, 6', 160 lbs., fail. to regis. Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Tristan Lee Plummer, WM, 26, 5'10", 180 lbs, eluding police; Amber Dawn Baker, WF, 43, 5', 200 lbs (Yorkshire hog), tattoos on both arms, opiates, paraphernalia, theft; Saul Esparza-Ballin, HF(sic), 27, 5'10", 200 lbs, opiates & paraphernalia; Rashaad Devon Robinson, BM, 25, 5'10", 140 lbs, marijuana (Abilene Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kas.) Sheriff)

Three persons were injured by a collapsing iceberg wall at the Titanic
Museum in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.  .  .  .  Georgia Congresswoman
Marjorie Taylor Greene's  Twitter  account  was suspended for contin-
ued ignorant posts about Covid-19 vaccination. . . . Kentucky Senator
Rand Paul was suspended from YouTube for dissing breathing masks.
.  .  .  Batman's sidekick Robin finally came out in the comics after do-
ing so on TV two years ago. .  .  .  West Virginia Wesleyan College  is
charging unvaccinated students $750 in extra fees for the fall semester.
.   .   .  Oregon passed a bill eliminating the reqirement of proficieny in
readin', 'ritin' 'n' 'rithmetic for a high school diploma. .  .  . Three broth-
ers working in the manure pit on the family farm in Mercer County, O-
hio,  passed out from the fumes and died. . . .  The latest tropical storm
to threaten Florida is named Fred.
                                                             [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

aprilsal.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Ariana Ruiz, 39, ficitious license plate, family assault; Maria Salazar, 37, DUI; Caitlyn Massey, 21, DUI; April Salvadar, 30, family assault; Venetia Young, 61, DUI; Regina Cardile, 46, ctrl. substances; Serena Miles, 18, mobery

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near future include Dr. Medicine Moscow.

lifelib3.jpg "I have an even smaller wireless device that gives me access to thousands of books & movies, it's a library card" Life Saver Dude: What'll they think of next?

Tested positive, 784,685; died, 14,054.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

A woman in LaPorte shot her husband to death,  then cut off
his legs with an axe  so  that  his body would fit in a tote bag,
which she and her children still found to heavy to drag to her
car for a ride to a cremation. . . .

A man taking a nap on his back on a  railroad  track  in Porter,
clutching a six-pack of wine,  was yelled off the track by a po-
liceman as a train approached.
                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

shawndew.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Shawn Dewey, WM, 5'6", 130 lbs, unlawful poss. of syringe; Salita Alarcon, HF, 5'3", 195 lbs (Yorkshire hog), meth; Quinston Rice, BM, 6', 140 lbs, criminal recklessness (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Tested positive, 496,215; died, 7,432.
                                                                     [courtesy N.Y. Times]

A flash flood wiped out the only grocery store in Nicholas Coun-
ty, Kentucky (in the Bluegrass, northeast of Lexington). . . .

Louisville public radio announcer John Boyle  was pronouncing
"Indiana" not "in-dee-AN-uh," as it is normally pronounced, but
"Indian-uh,"  making "Indiana health commissioner"  sound like
"Indian health commissioner."
                                                                     [courtesy WKYU-FM]

	"That's beautiful!  The girl is sorta cute, too." <––––––                                                 – Stephen Yates   [courtesy Kentucky Living magazine:  left,     Katelyn Moses, 14, and her calf, Hershey,     of Gray, Ky.; below, Brooklynn Walls and     her goat, Kid, of Elizabethtown]
	Quotations of the Wheat:          "Does she give tongue?"                         – Leonard Simon

Dog of the week:  French bulldog Characterized by a scrunched face and small size,  he  is  prone  to all sorts of diseases.   It is recommen- ded to keep him cool.  And, "Born to be your companion."                 – American Kennel Club

salinasa.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas) : Adam Salinas, HM, 39, 5'8", 200 lbs,solicitation of a minor on line; Winnona Naoma-Rose Mautino,WF, 37, 5'10", 170 lbs, robbery (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

No one showed up for a free Covid-19 vaccination at a free booth at the
St. Charles County Fair  in Wentzville,  Missouri,  a suburb of St. Louis.
. . .  The Governor of Florida withheld funds from school districts requi-
ring students or staff to wear masks; the Governor of Texas forbade offi-
cials to mandate masks or vaccines,  and  the Governor of Arkansas  de-
clared a state of  coronavirus  emergency  unaccompanied by a mask re-
quirement or other restrictions. .  .  . Ninety per cent of the adult popula-
tion of Bhutan was vaccinated in a week. . . .  Thailand prohibited frigh-
tening news on the internet. . . . The Federal Aviation Administration re-
defined "astronaut" to exclude Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos. .  .  . U-
tah's Weber County had problems with people hanging hammocks from
electric power lines.
                                                                [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

emilyren.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls,Texas): Tyrone Briggs Cox, WM, 23, 5'9", 165 lbs, prob, viol. (failure to register); Emily Renae Hujing, WF, 35, 5', 114 lbs, endangering a child; Colton Sean Trotter, W(!)M, 32, 6', 220 lbs, arson; Elijah Varnell Luster, BM, 34, 6'3", 164 lbs, prob. viol. (domestic assault); Anthony Deonte Thurmann, BM, 28, 5'8", 200 lbs, aggravated battery (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

The "Washington Football Team" (formerly the "Redskins," of
the  professional  National Football League)  banned headdres-
ses and face paint among its home game fans. . . . The recently
renamed Cleveland Indians Guardians  of major leage baseball
have learned that the name, with web site, was copyrighted 10
years ago by the city's men's roller derby team. . . .  The appar-
ently one-named  "Quinn"  became  the first "transgender" ath-
lete to win a gold medal at the Olympics,  with Canada's wom-
en's  soccer  team.

The clue for 11-down in the August 4 New Yorker crossword
puzzle  was  "Toy  that gets its name from the Roman god  of
love,"  and  the  answer  turned  out  to be "KEWPIE DOLL."
And we wondered: Where is "AMOR" in "KEWPIE DOLL"?
So  we  called  our  friends,  and our sister-in-law,  Paula,  ex-
plained,  "Think CUPID doll."   OK.   She's  right.   Even  the
Collins English Dictionary has "word origin: altered <Cupid."

janessan.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Kaleb Castleberry, 25, mj; Tammy Cano, 21, marijuana; Tiffany Hernandez, 28, road hog; Janessa Nunez, 28, fam. assault; Sarah Gutierrez, 35, family assault; Stephanie Garcia, 30, bail jumping; Joseph Kennedy, 26, ctl. sub.

lifeboyg.jpg Life Saver Dude: "Mention my name in S/C(?)heboygan, it's the greatest little town in the world . . . "

Lance Farrell wrote Thurs 7/29/21 @21:11 EDT:

"Did you ever consider how appropriate it is that 'copulation' rhymes with
  'population'?"

Tested positive, 774,662; died, 14,005.
                                                                [courtesy N.Y. Times]

A task force proposed renaming Jordan Avenue,  named after a
19th century Indiana University president who preached eugen-
ics, Easleston Avenue, after a slave family.

                                                     [courtesy Columbus Republic]

cheatham.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Justin Bucks, WM, 5'6", 140 lbs, meth; Loni Cheatham,WF, 5'6", 115 lbs, Meth, paraphern.; Eleanor Easton, BF, 5'5", 145 lbs, coke; Naomi Cramer, WF, 5'4", 125 lbs, meth (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.)

Tested positive, 483,606; died, 7,377.
                                                                        [courtesy N.Y. Times]
    

toyablat.jpg Lexington's most wanted, Toya Blathers,BF, 49, 5'6", 275 lbs (Yorkshire hog)), exploiting an adult (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

Articles appeared in the "Park City" (Bowling Green) Daily News,
Western Kentucky University's College Heights Herald   and  WB-
KO's (Channel 13's) web  site  about  12  university  buildings  and
colleges the university president suggested renaming  and  three he
didn't;  but the only of those identified were the three he didn't  (na-
med for three "good" slave owners) and one he did (Northeast Hall,
a women's dormitory to be renamed Munday Hall, for the universi-
ty's first black student, Margaret Munday, B.A. 1960).  We'd like to
tell you the names of the 11 proposed to be renamed, but they have-
n't told us; and they won't answer their phone (another racist correc-
tion in the Sports).
                                                      [discourtesy WKU & local media]

Dog of the week:  Australian shepherd Someone messed up naming this dog  because  it was bred in the United States several decades ago.  It is  a very "outdoorsy" dog  and requires a great deal of ex- ercise and attention.       "Aussies" always need some- thing to do, and not everyone has time for them.

acarillo.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Adam Amschutz, WM, 44, 6', 185 lbs, escape; Isabel Martin, WF, 21, 5'2", 170 lbs, recruiting street gangs; Denista Shannon, BF, 37, 5'2", 125 lbs, probation violation (contr. substance); Nicholas Carillo-Miller, WM, 30, 6'1", 260 lbs, pro. vi. (opiates) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

Number of states in which a majority favors "daylight saving" time:  Zero.
.  .  .  Man-made satellite traffic is said to have brightened the night sky by
10 per cent. .  .  .  The BBC received more than 110,000 complaints for ex-
cessive coverage of Prince Philip's death. . . . An unvaccinated snow leop-
ard caught the Covid-19 at the San Diego, California, zoo. . . . A Catholic
school sued the state of Michigan to enjoin a mandate requiring masks be-
cause they hide "God's image and likeness." . . . A Coast Guard helicopter
rescued an Alaskan camper harassed by a bear for seven days. . . . A slice
of one of Prince Charles' and Princess Diana's 23 wedding cakes is up for
auction. . . . A woman was charged with the murder of a man she had sha-
ken as a baby and later died at age 35.
                                                                    [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just fter church every  Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near future include Jillene Khan.

lifelib2.jpg Library: DVDs / CDs / Internet / Photocopier/ "No books?" Life Saver Dude: Duh