El Nino: Curiosity Killed The Cast

   In startling historical new today, all of the world's
textbooks were found to contain new data: The USS Voyager
fought in the Galactic Civil War. Supposedly, El Nino,
now found to be behind many historical events, such as
the creation of Bill Clinton, Howard Stern, William Shatner
and many riveting scandals like Watergate, Abraham Lincoln's
assaination and the Reagan Administration got curious as to
how Star Trek would fair against Star Wars.
   Voyager, having recently discovered the Zeta quadrant 
(which contained remnants of the New Republic and wreckage
of several Star Destroyers) was thrust back in time, thusly
putting it a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Upon 
regaining sensors, Voyager found itself in the middle of a 
fire-fight. Being shot on by both The Rebel Alliance and
The Glactic Empire, ignorant Cpt. Janeway decided to fire
back on both sides of the line.
   The outcome is sketchy, but it is reported that Voyager 
dissaapeared moments later, to turn up in history yet again,
but this time during the 1950's in Roswell, New Mexico. 
Apparently, radiation mutated the survivors, shrinking them
and causing their eyes to bulge. 
   Further speculation is that more military elemnts of today
will soon begin turning up in the past. When asked what he thought,
Darth Vader responded "Maybe I should talk to the Borg..."

And Now For Something Completely Different

El Nino Ate My Balls

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"MORE POWER!!!!"

 
   

   

USS Defiant: The Ship El Nino Built




   El Nino today made history: He came out of hiding.
He readily accepted all of the scandals and people he
had been involved with, but added this to his list:
The USS Defiant.
   He said he was bored, and following the philosophy
of famous comedian and El Nino employee, Tim Allen.
"MORE POWER!"
   El Nino said that after looking at the universe, he
decided to make a ship that was for one thing and one 
thing only: ASS KICKING! Well, that's what it does. He
said he apologized for any construction and testing 
problems it may have caused, but "You gotta admit...
that thing kicks ass!" None could disagree.
   When asked why it was stationed at DS9, he said
"Eh, Sisko was whining to me about "I want to blow 
stuff up, I want kill some Cardassians, I want to go
to the Gamma quadrant," so I gave it to him. I think
it turned out nicely. He stopped his bitching, didn't
he?"
   The crowd was speechless














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