A bachelor kept a cat for companionship, and loved his cat more than life.  He was planning a trip to England and entrusted the cat to his brother's care.  As soon as he arrived in England he called his brother.

"How is my cat?" he asked.  "Your cat is dead," came the reply.

"Oh my," he exclaimed.  "Did you have to tell me that way?"

"How else can I tell you your cat's dead?" inquired the brother.

"You should have led me up to it gradually," said the bachelor.  "For example, when I called tonight you could have told me my cat was on the roof, but the Fire Department is getting it down.  When I called tomorrow night, you could have told me that they dropped him and broke his back, but a fine surgeon is doing all he can for him.  Then, when I called the third night, you could have told me the surgeon did all he could but my cat passed away.  That way it wouldn't have been such a shock.

"By the way," he continued, "how's Mother?"

"Mother?" came the reply.  "Oh, she's up on the roof, but the Fire Department is getting her down."

My Forgetter

My forgetter's getting better
But my rememberer is broke.
To you that may seem funny
but, to me, that’s no joke

For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away,
I ask myself, "who's that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke!

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