Affairs of the Net is billed as a romance between two people finding themselves and each other through the Internet (something like that, anyway). Basically, it's Richard and Elizabeth having strange intellectual conversations I could never pick up on (and this storyline seems dead- no ending to it?). No action either, but there never seems to be any in e-mail soaps. On my most recent visit, though, I found that they also have another dialogue going between a teen couple (kinda premature to me, but sweet), and you can also write for the soap. I do like this idea, folks!
Features: Chat, message board, write for the site.

Basically, this is what Aaron Spelling would come up with if he did a Web soap. Not like Melrose Place though- think "Beach Dynasty". The characters have names such as Bunny, Brandy, and Buck (gag! I have no problems with one character being named one of these names, but all three together gives a horrible impression of bubbleheadedness.) Senator Mitchell, of course, has wine glasses on his icon- can you say Teddy Kennedy? Stereotype heaven here! As for the narration, there is no getting to know the characters- it's a plot summary along the lines of "Bunny is frantically trying to find her daughter Brandy who has just escaped from the hospital. Buck is being blackmailed into marrying Cindy," etc. As for the plots, they were idiotic and unrealistic. As soon as I read the section that said that 16-year-old Brandy has run off with her lesbian lover and Swiss bank accounts, I choked. Come on! No 16-year-old has Swiss bank accounts, I don't care how loaded your parents are! Fed up, I quickly clicked out of Santibel.

(note from December 98: They just relaunched Black City in November 98 =), so it's nicely designed and back again! However, some of the old stuff has yet to be updated and isn't on the page.) There isn't just one story of Black City (similar to Mexico City, in 1950), there's several. There's all kinds of stories you can pick to follow here- from the Murder at La Mulata (case files on a murderer- duh!) to the graphic novels (short comic-book morselettes I couldn't wait to eat up- great stories about hot babes and their involvement with gangsters) to the Secret Diary of Mercedes Mendoza (mob boss's wife tells all). If I told the details of everything this review would go on forever.

Features: Magazine done by the producers of BC (Rebel Communique), you can write for the site =), There is an area where you can purchase Black City items (beverages, T-shirts), a message board, a guided tour section that changes from time to time (I don't know when, sorry), maps of the buildings in BC, and audio.

This soap is billed as "a netsoap for the easily amused." I suppose this is true, because it's not all that interesting. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be funny or not- maybe "goofy" is more the word to use here. It's about two friends, Cathie and Francesca. Cathie is a great Web site designer who has so many men after her that she has to carry a whip and handcuffs with her at all times. Francesca is the second-richest woman in the world, who runs the funnest company in the world (employees get toys, games, and free trips). Only Francesca's rock-star druggie brother (the only guy to be banned from Betty Ford as incurable) has a thing for newlywed Cathie, and some guy is trying to bring perfect Francesca down. Yes, I would say that this soap is goofy. (Incidentally, the names used for Steve and Cathie are the exact same ones as the creators of the soap! Think it's a coincidence?!?) The second and third episode alone is reminiscent of The Last Don's wedding night, and has quotes along the lines of "Antonio was not a coward, but he ran and hid behind the curtain" while Cathie whips Steve into place. Have whip, will travel, I guess. It's now ended. And by the way, anybody find it suspicious that certain celebrities' photos are used to portray characters?

This one is "supposed" to be a spoof of The Spot, but except for its name, I don't think so. It's more like "Trailer Trash Redneck Hick Soap Opera" to me. It's 4-5 hicks living in a trailer that have names like Cleitus and Valvoline that all insult each other. After reading one particular entry (from the fifth guy in the trailer, who has one entry) I was expecting Cleitus to make Valvoline start hooking to pay the rent or something. Sheesh. However, the joke ads/newspaper entries (the Whup-ass Beer ad at the bottom of the page, plus the ones in the "Extra Room") were funny, with topics like "Bubbaonics" and newspaper articles on the trailer inhabitants. Updates rarely happen here- characters' last posts range from July '96 to July 97, and there was a cryptic mention in one archive section about is the Squat finished. Damned if I know.

Features: There is a message board, a chat room, and The Squat News (the rarely put-out newsletter), as well as the aforementioned Extra Room.

Damn funny goofy soap featuring the Bolt family (with names like Steel and Daedalus- Daed Bolt, get it?) as they nearly commit incest, sleep around, drink like fishes, kill and blackmail. It's a lot of fun. Ended now, but it's a hoot. Lots of summaries for you so you don't have to read every damn thing and still see the loopiness.

Page last updated: January 9, 1997