A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a
great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to
fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure
enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his
equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's
seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though
flying erratically.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make
several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm
going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and
photographers take pictures."
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
An old Jewish man was once on the subway and he sat down next to a
younger man. He noticed that the young man had a strange kind of
shirt collar. Having never seen a priest before, he asked the man,
"Excuse me sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"
The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered, "I wear
this collar because I am a Father."
The Jewish man thought a second and responded, "Sir I am also a
Father but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear your collar
so differently?"
The priest thought for a minute and said "Sir, I am the Father for
many."
The Jewish man quickly answered, "I am the Father of many, too. I
have four sons, four daughters and more grandchildren than I can
count. Still, I wear my collar just like everybody else. Why do
you wear it your way?"
The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and then
blurted out, "Sir, I am the Father to hundreds of people."
The Jewish man was taken aback and was silent for a long time. As
he got up to leave the subway train, he leaned over to the priest
and said, "Mister, maybe you should wear your pants backwards."
A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years.
The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The
new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they
realize that certain protocols will have to be observed.
The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to
see the second man there. "This is wonderful! Now we'll be able to have
three people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower instead of two people
doing 12-hour shifts."
The new man is only too happy to help, and in fact volunteers to do the
first shift. He climbs up the tall tower and stands watch, scanning the
ocean horizon for any ships. Soon, the husband and wife start placing
stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper. The new man
yells down, "Hey, no screwing!"
They look at each other and yell back, "We're not screwing!" A few minutes
later, they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again, the new
man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!" Again they yell back, "We're not
screwing!"
Later, they are putting palm leaves on the roof of the shack to patch leaks.
Once again, the new man yells down from high above, "Hey, I said no
screwing!" They yell back, "And we said we're not screwing!"
Finally the shift is over and the new man climbs down from the tower and
the husband starts to climb up. By the time he gets halfway up, his wife
and the new man are going at it. Once at the top, the husband turns around
and looks down and says to himself, "Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES
look like they're screwing."
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