by SpiderBraids
Titles, yada, yada, yada. We open on a shot of the school, where Arnold's teacher (at this early point, Mrs. Slovak) tells him to spell the word "nuclear". He does this, and Slovak declares that he's been selected for the city-wide spelling bee tomorrow, along with Helga. Resident school genius Phoebe should be part of this contest, but I'm guessing she was saving herself for another contest (besides, it was a bit early in the show's run anyway). Anyways, Helga promises that she won't spend the $500 prize in one place.
Slovak is in the midst of making an announcement on dangerous asbestos tests as the bell rings. She doesn't bother with actually getting to the point, as she bolts out of the room (usually, the students would be the first to bolt out). Arnold leaves after Helga threatens to beat him. Okay, after we see Helga being Helga (read: lamenting about her hopeless love for Arnold), we cut to Football Head and Tall Hair Boy talking about the contest. Token Kid enthusiastically sez: "A few years on the spelling bee circuit at $500 a pop, and you can retire by age 14!" and recommends him to think of what he can get for $500. And his answer is literally right in front of him: An electronic keyboard. I used to play with a late 1980's Casio model when I was a kid. It had a quite limited selection of instruments and backing beats (the beats sounded SO synthesized), and my sister got to be very good at it.
But I digress, as we head over to Helga. If she loses, of course she loses. But if she wins, she also loses. She's been kicking a can all this time, and she frustratedly kicks it in a random direction, as she says "There's nobody on the planet with worse luck than me! (sighs)" Cue Eugene on easily damaged bike flying into a bunch pit bulls... blame it on the can :D
Sunset Arms, AKA Arnold's house. Gerald says he won't waste his Saturday at the bee tomorrow, and gives Arnold a piece of advice straight out of Charlie Brown: "I before E except after C." I remember a whole song number devoted to this rule in a Charlie Brown flick, and Snoopy skating in front of the Rockefeller. Good times, good times.
We pan over to the Patakis' house where Big Bob is busy watching a commercial for his beeper shop, where he promises to match any price... unless it's actually lower than theirs, which defeats the whole purpose of that policy, no? Then again, this is the same shop that never gives refunds ["Big Bob's Crisis"], and the same guy who deliberately sells defective merchandise to maximize profit at any cost ["Roughin' It"].