Aquaintance or Date Rape has the same motive as stranger rape: it is an act of violence- a way to express anger,power,dominance, control- not as a sexual frustration and passion. Some rapists prefer to know thier victims because they are able to get closer to them or get them in a vulnerable situation without alarming them. They have information about their victims such as: they live alone, they are alone at certain times, they have certain routines. The date rapsit rarely uses lethal weapons, instead relying on verbal threats and physical force to intimidate and overpower. The date rape tends to be longer in duration-sometimes stretching over hours, and is more likely to occur on first or blind dates. The victim of an acquaitance rape suffers as much as much, if not more, trauma than the individual raped by a stranger. Due to societal attitudes, the victim of aquaintance rape usually does not seek help. Victims tend to feel ashamed, guilty,depressed, and angry with themselves. the women blame themselves that the rape happened and they no longer feel in control of their lives- betrayed by their own judgement. Victims find themselves in the position of having to face their assailant again.

The aquaintance rapist has a need to exercise power and control. He frequently seeks out for someone vulnerable and tends to oversubscribe to traditional male roles. He feels that agression is normal in heterosexual relationships. An aquaintance rapist may seem to be polite and charming but some of his attitudes may reveal a darker side of his character. An aquaintance rapist often 1.) Shows signs of deep-seated anger towards women 2.) Views women as sex objects 3.) Thinks women ought to serve men's needs 4.) Makes all decisions in a relationship 5.) Idolizes women and then gets angry when they dissapoint him 6.) Is not concerned about the feelings of others 7.) Accepts interpersonal violence 8.) Is midly sociopathic 9.) Doesn't listen....he may hear you protest, but chooses to ignore it 10.) Believes consent is not important in physical intimacy 11.) Gets angry when you state limits 12.) Does not like to be intellectually challenged by, confronted by or disagreed with by women Aquaintance rape is not about love or lust. It isn't about something that "just happens" in the heat of the moment. AQUAINTANCE RAPE IS SEXUAL VIOLENCE. There are many factors that can contribute to it for example: 1.) Sex role stereotyping Many people believe that men should be aggressive and women should be passive 2.) Mixed messages A man may think that a woman really does want to have sex with him if she actively flirts with him while saying "NO" In our society both males and females have been taught many half truths about each other. Males are taught to "score" with women :they believe a woman may say "no" but really mean "yes" and just needs a little persuasion. On the other hand females believe that flirting is an innocent and harmless game that everyone plays. Yet women are taught that they are responsible if "things get out of hand." The result of this social conditioning is a rape that both the victim and assailants may rationalize as being something less than a violent assault. 3.) Learned violence 4.) Shifting blame Rapists sometimes target aquaintances based on their belief that this relationship will decrease the chances of the victim reporting as well as dilute her credibility if she does report. Aquaintance or date rapes are very confusing to the victim, especially when she tries to identify why it happened. Many times she is told by the rapsit that she led him to do it, she asked for it, or he apologizes for the attack and she tries to find a logical reason for it. MEN DO NOT EVER HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN EVEN IF: 1.) They have had sex before 2.) She agreed to have sex with him and then changes her mind 3.) He met her at a bar 4.) He picked her up hitch-hiking 5.) He paid for her dinner 6.) She invited him to her home late at night In these situations, a woman often percieves that the rape was her fault-- that she caused this "act of passion." BUT IF IT WAS FORCED SEX WITHOUT CONSENT IT WAS RAPE. ---

1. Confidence-- The victim trusts him. She is reluctant to practice caution for fear of offending him. She is reluctant to believe that someone she knows could be a rapist. 2.) Intrusion-- The rapist begins to somehow violate her space: unwanted touches, certain looks, personal conversations. Usually not very threatening but very uncomfortable. 3.) Desensitization In this stage, she has become used to the intrusion. She starts to think that is just the way he is. She drops her guard.She tries to not be overly sensitive. and not be bothered by his intrusion. 4.) Isolation--- The rapist gets her alone. She has been taught to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings, so she is passive. Not knowing his motive, she may want to be alone with him and willingly go to an isolated spot. Now it is too late. A trusting woman's disadvantage is being unable to identify the danger before this stage. COMMON REACTIONS BY VICTIMS OF AQUAINTANCE OR DATE RAPE 1. Fear of retaliation--more dramatic and realistic fear in these rapes. 2. Fear of returning to school or work- if she works or goes to school with the rapist 3. Guilt--usually more severe guilt reaction in this type of rape victim, especially if there was willing sex before the rape 4.Restablishing trust--this is a very important issue because her trust has been betrayed in an extreme way.