Poetry By Scanwings
The author of all the poems you see on this page is a personal friend of mine. She is a survivor and a wonderful person.
Alone we lived our life of abuse
Alone we face the flashbacks that come
Alone we live the life that is ruined
Alone we struggle and silently weep.
Alone we sleep with tormenting dreams
Alone we remember and face the pain
Alone we hurt and utter silent screams
Alone we struggle and silently weep.
Alone we lived no one to protect
Alone we live, reliving it all
Alone we sink to untold depths
Alone we struggle and silently weep.
Scanwings
Awakened to morning not glad to see the light darkness prevades my being withdrawn into the depths Content to bury myself there hide from all fear and knowing hide from the memories that come pretend none do exist Shut out the sobs inside not allowed to have their way blank out all thought and care be a robot-stay this way What is that going on inside? I feel something? someone? what is that pounding, screaming? kicking against my walls? Oh man....I see her now I feel her and hear her it is my child.................... not so little...but in tantrum now. She is beating on the walls I erected with fists tight and fierce she is kicking those wall screaming in rage because I won't hear. Oh man......can I treat her like this? the child who was hurt? no one listened way back then... can I turn my back on her now? I don't know what to do I tell her "tell me all" "we will do this alone" she screams her rage and fear. She likes that I know she is there she is not happy with me at all still untiringly beats on my wall I hear her, feel her...confusion in there. She is so angry...at me and all I called her a 'brat'.... made her furious as hell I am sorry...but what do I do? She is growing weary but still pounds in her rage she doesn't like my walls preventing her from having her say.
Buried beneathe the waves
as they roll over top one after the other
nestled down between the rocks
down at the bottom of the sea.
Unable to breathe-too much effort
unable to see-can't open my eyes
unable to smile-nothing to thrill
down in the depths of the sea.
Unable to cry though tears fill my eyes
not worth the effort
no strength to try
buried beneath the sea.
It is the sea of depression
boulders of memories fill the depths
holding me captive and still
in the depths of the sea.
Scanwings 12-7-99
|
Sandra's Sanctuary : Homepage for this site Healing Haven: A survivors resource site |