STORY
BEHIND THE POEM, DISTRICT TWO SEX ED
.
Dina Tzetzos herself told
me this story. It seems she was working the wagon one day, when there
was a holdup of the Toronto Dominion Bank at Columbia and Pender.
As per usual procedure, units were placed in search quadrants. Dina
maintained her quadrant to the north for some time, and then getting bored,
decided to cruise by Main and Hastings. The suspect had been described
as a Native, female, wearing multi-coloured clothes, and carrying a multi-coloured
shopping bag. There was more to the description, but I just can’t
recall what it was.
.
Anyway, Dina spots a likely
candidate in the crowd of drug dealers and addicts at the corner.
This corner being just a scant two blocks from the scene of the holdup.
Dina sees this suspect, the clothes are different, but everything else
matches, including the shopping bag. She moves in, grabs and handcuffs
the suspect, reads the official warning, the usual legal gobble-de-gook
about providing free legal aid, babysitting for their pet cat etc.
But, I digress. Dina starts to search the bag and immediately finds
a knife, a replica handgun, the clothes worn by the suspect, a holdup note
and more importantly, most of the money, some $900.
.
Because some money is missing,
and the fact that the suspect is a druggie, Dina puts the “female” in the
back of the wagon and does a strip search. Confirming that the suspect
is indeed a “female”, as Dina describes it, “there was nothing there, she
was completely flat”. Dina transports the suspect to jail and lodges
her as a “female”. She then went to headquarters to start writing
the report.
.
About halfway through her
writing, she gets a frantic, and angry phone call, to report back to the
jail. When she gets there, the Sergeant proceeds to chew her out
for lodging a male as a female. It seems that our suspect had strapped
his manhood, tiny though it may be, up between his legs. Dina of
course missed it. She said later, “I should have guess, because it
was totally flat, it just didn’t look normal”.
.
I later received several
emails requesting a poem. Each was worded something like this.
“The guys and girls (not that Dina can tell the difference) of Squad 2/8
think a poem would be in order…”, and there you have it, another story
added to the folklore of the Vancouver Police Department.
.
CLICK
HERE TO RETURN TO POEM
.
CLICK
HERE TO RETURN TO INDEX OF POETRY