I wanted to write this testimony, so you (whoever reads this) could praise God with me, and also to encourage you to keep pressing in and believing for the miraculous. You, perhaps, have been experiencing these types of things for a long time. I am very poorly developed (I'm trying to express something, and I don't quite know how to do it.) in the area of receiving a word of knowledge. I feel that, for me, this is a break-through to God.
I am neither a song writer, nor a poet. Some years ago, the Lord started to give me songs. These songs came through no effort of my own. Almost always, they came after I had been to some camp where the Spirit was flowing, or after listening to tapes of anointed teaching by the brethren, or after reading an article in the Sharon Star. Many came after reading The Feast of Tabernacles.
I wondered about what to do with these songs. I had felt that they were for the Church, and yet there was no open door to do anything with them. Someone said that perhaps the songs were just for myself--that they weren't meant for the Church. The Spirit didn't bear witness to that at all, so I kept asking God about it.
The answer I got was kind of strange (it seemed strange to me). It seemed that God had said that I was to help Kathy (my wife) and to work on the house. Even though I had misgivings about this, whenever I approached God about it, this seemed to be the answer. I have tried to be obedient in this. I know that God would rather have obedience than sacrifice.
The other thing that I felt that God had said was that He would open the door on October 28th (that was in 1997). Uncheckable knowledge is easier. It would be nice to have a revelation where you cannot check it. The specific date was hard to deal with. If the event never happened, then I would know for sure that I still could not discern the difference between God's voice and my own ranting mind.
As the date approached, I saw no way that anything was going to happen. "Chalk it up to another bout with my own imagination." On the 27th, there was still no indication of anything when I went to bed for the night.
But on the 28th, I got a letter from the State of Wisconsin. They had forgotten to give me a raise six months ago and now they were sending me a retroactive check. It came out to just enough to get a refurbished mother board, a couple of gigabytes of hard drive and the program to make midi files. Putting that together with what my brother, Mark, showed me on his web site, and together with a web site that I started--and a real sense of peace that this is exactly what God's mind is in this situation, and I have to say that God has been faithful.
An interesting side note: This is not the way that I would have done it. I had my sights on a more elaborate set-up with a complete recording studio, etc. I was trying to find a way to make wave files and send them over the net. Some day, that may be God's will, but I felt that God wants it this way (at least for now).
I really feel that this whole subject of being led by God is something very near to the heart of God. I know that there are a tremendous number of fakes out there, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't believe God for the real thing. There are many false spirits that would love to have us listen to them, but there is the true voice of God. There are many false gifts, but true gifts do operate in the Church, too. There are more fake apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers than you could shake a stick at, but there are real apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers. We need to seek God--He will reveal to us what is real and what is false if we truly seek His face.
In retrospect, I can see that I have made many mistakes since October of 1997. Even with the guidance of those brethren God has set over me in the Church, I still have stumbled repeatedly in little things. Even with the sovereign way the songs have been given, every once in a while someone will point out some point at which my own flesh has crept in unawares. There is no place for any praise except to give all the glory to Jesus. He can use any vessel, and He uses various vessels for various purposes. There is no point in comparing one vessel to another, but there is every reason to discern Christ abiding in the vessel and to recognize the ministry and purpose and anointing and authority of each vessel. To God be the glory. Great thing He hath done.
an additional testimony
of the hope that within me
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