Cupertino: Apple Computer has announced today the release of the first localizable religion module for their system software. Previous versions of Macintosh (MacOS) software have been able to support localizable geographical regions and languages, according to an Apple spokesman, but no operating system has yet been able to add customisable support for religion and culture. The module is to modify the system software to interact with the user's ethnicity as closely as possible, so as to maximise enjoyment of the religion, to minimise potential embarrassing conflicts and to increase its overall intuitiveness and functionality. The first Religion/Organisation Tolerance and Functionality Layer (ROTFL) to be released will support the liberal Jewish religion. Others are expected to follow in the near future.
While Apple has declined to allow demonstrations until an embargo date some weeks from today, several developers have given inside information on the beta versions of the software, developed under the codename "Tsures". Some of the more obvious and useful features are said to include:
* The Dates and Times control panel and the Calender desk accessory have
been extended to include all major religious holidays. Notifications can
be arranged for these and for the commencement times of the Sabbath to
allow the user to finish in time for prayer;
* The Numbers control panel now has different currency options as well as interest and exchange rates depending on whether the figure is for buying or selling; * The clock menu in the menubar will be set to Jewish mean-time, which is approximately 0.5 hours later than the default system time; * Extensions to the Speech Manager include addition of the voices "Brooklyn" and "Queens" to the dialects in which the computer can talk, while support for extra nasality and running-together of words has been added to the speech recognition software. A new output voice termed "Drescher" was to have been added but problems with the physical damage it caused some sound output hardware could not be overcome in time and it will be released in a later update to the system. |
Some other software vendors are reportedly modifying applications to
take
advantage of the new features and needs of the ROTFLs. Symantec and
other
anti-virus vendors are reportedly updating their hard disk scan
utilities
to include the ability to scan your system and peripherals in El-Al
mode,
which picks up guns, bombs and knives, while un-erase utilities now
display useful information such as "See? I TOLD you a million
times... if you don't back up..."
However, prospective users should be advised that some developers have
reported problems. One said that the Finder(tm) had been changed so that
it cleans up your desktop whether you like it or not and you will never
be
able to find anything again. He also reported unusual messages in
"Tip-for-the-day" startup dialogs, which often seemed stuck on the same
thing every day. Another noted that his network probes showed that
AppleTalk(tm) was much more active than usual, with short messages being
exchanged between a few selected nearby machines for long periods of
time.
Also, machines, and especially older machines, often appeared to send
messages repeatedly just to themselves.
Another reported problems with the 'guide' program designed to aid new
users. Called "Ben" or "Bibi", it is based on the well-known and
widely-used Microsoft(r) "Bob" program. "It's supposed to take me by the
hand and guide me through the intricacies of using the computer",
complained one user. "Instead, its security guards wouldn't let it near
me. When I finally got to talk to it, it spent the whole time assuring
me that everything was fine and asking if I had any babies to kiss."
This does not appear confined to the Jewish ROTFL, however, as some
users reported the same problem with the now-defunct "Bill" program
developed in parallel for US users.
* The addition of a 'Nag' feature to the On-Line Help Menu;
* The "OK" button in system dialog boxes is changed to "Nu?";
* The "Welcome to Mac" icon and the dialog alert icons get a
yarmulke and the "Welcome to Mac" message on startup becomes: "So? Why
has it
taken so long to see me again?";
* Instead of saying "Are you sure you want to do this?" the system asks:
"Why do you want to do this? You don't want to do this. You shouldn't do
it this way, there's a better way...";
* Instead of offering the restart button when the System crashes, the
Sytem displays a modal dialog saying "That's okay... I will just
sit here frozen...";
* Hypercard is now to be on Prozac and thus will be only "card";
* The GeoPort modem achitecture is extended to offer the VolvoModem(tm)
which has a maximum speed of 300bps with extra error-correction;
* Extra support is added for the EGED bus, in addition to the SCSI
and PCI buses.
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