Duct Tape

The

Side

1001 Uses For Duct Tape give or take 852

1. Digitize it to make a nice background for a web page.
2. Attractive siding for your house.
3. To prevent theft, seal the doors of your car with about half a dozen layers.
4. Disposable replacement for cufflinks.
5. Lenses for discount mirror sunglasses for the blind.
6. Use an empty roll of duct tape to join two sections of ABS drain pipe together.
7. Create a water-tight seal for use #6.
8. Material for a highly visible, heavy-duty raincoat.
9. Graph paper for the blind.
10. Sticky-notes for the fridge.
11. Homemade orthodontic work.
12. Instant handcuffs and gags for efficient hitmen.
13. Material for a groovy wallet.
14. Spaceage bathroom tiling.
15. Stick a membrane of duct tape over top a cooking wok and you've got a drum.
16. One piece shaving kit. Ouch.
17. Fold a strip over on itself and form it into a loop. Replacement fan belt for your car.
18. Permanent garters to keep your socks up.
19. A great Christmas gift for the Mrs.
20. Replacement for the safety catch under the hood of your car.
21. Air/water-tight bandages.
22. Replacement for your lunch box. (Just tape all your food together into one big ball.)
23. Tape two pens together so you can write twice as fast.
24. Make a sheet of duct tape, and wear it sticky side out on your chest during a meal. Super effective bib.
25. For safety, coat your hands with a couple layers of it when you're handling hot, sharp, or radioactive objects.
26. If someone won't pay you their gambling debts, tape his nose to his forehead.
27. Make a pair of waterproof underwear for fishing.
28. Fly tape (for those big-ass, mutant houseflies).
29. Bookmark. (Just try to lose your place in the book now!)
30. Tape the safety guard back on your circular saw so it doesn't get in the way.
31. Use duct tape to bundle up all those AOL starter kits lying around your house for the garbage man.
32. Tape your TV to the ceiling above your bed so you can watch it while lying down.
33. Roll up some duct tape into a little roll half an inch in diameter. Cut it in half. Earplugs or noseplugs.
34. Instead of gargling with mouthwash, chew duct tape.
35. Cost-effective roof rack for your car.
36. Liquor cabinet lock for alcoholics.
37. To prevent losing your TV remote, duct tape it to your arm.
38. Measuring tape (just count the squares).
39. Need more overhead light in a room? Tape a lamp to the ceiling.
40. Pet hair brush. (Use it carefully, or the Humane Society will put you on their '10 Most Wanted' list.)
41. To climb a wall/cliff/tree, just cover yourself in duct tape, sticky side out.
42. Stay awake by taping your eyelids to your forehead on those late drives home. (Also act as reflectors to oncoming cars.)
43. Tape yourself to the toilet after a bad Mexican dish.
44. Denture adhesive. (use small strips)
45. A low cost replacement seatbelt.
46. Do it yourself bikini.
47. The babysitter's best friend... When the kids get crazy you can always tape them to the sofa.
48. Quick repair for the bowrail you broke on your dogsled.
49. Effective binding around the ribs that broke the bowrail. (Ouch)
50. Instant Babysitter: Cover kid in duct tape sticky side out, throw 'im against wall with attached food in case of long stay, and enjoy your night out or possible trip to Bahamas.
51. Going to a wedding? Your silver/gray cummerbund will be the envy of all--and a perfect fit, too.
52. Improve the world: Tape Newt Gingrich's mouth shut.
53. Take a piece and put it on your annoying brother's hair then rip it off.
54. Great diaper tab replacement when you're out of diapers and have to reuse them.
55. Our office was taping a very low budget ($0) production, and needed one of those "chopping type story boards." We hinged a couple of pieces of wood together, but since we had no paint, we cover the boards with white duct tape, and used black electrical tape to make the stripes on it. Looks sharp and is very durable.
56. The US Navy uses duct tape to repair Radoms on fighter aircraft. They call it "thousand mile an hour" tape.
57. If the tree you hang your hammock on starts splitting, duct tape the trunk for support.
58. To prevent campfire burns, wrap some around your hands when roasting wieners without a stick.
59. To keep the bumper on your car securely fastened.
60. Tape your cat's paws together when you bathe it so you don't get scratched all to hell.
61. Replace the fabric on the roof of your 70's convertible car. (True story!)
62. Use it to tape Red's mouth shut so he will quit talking about duct tape.
63. Use it to tape a Red Green disparager's mouth shut so he'll learn not to meddle with powers he cannot comprehend! [Hey... Turnabout is fairplay. :-) ]
64. When I bought my car in 1990, I wrapped the spare key in plastic wrap and duct taped it to the frame of the car. Several weeks ago, AFTER six years and 80,000 miles of driving, I locked my keys in the car. I reached under the car and got the spare key which was still there and in great shape!
65. Put a few thousand layers over a new pair of shoes and they'll last forever (if your feet never grow).
66. Great for retreading twenty year-old, worn out, shredded tires. (Tip: Take the tires off your vehicle first for easier application of the duct tape)
67. To avoid the expensive bill for neutering your dog, simply wrap a few feet of duct tape around his waist.
68. Cheap, ultra-effective toilet paper (use at your own risk).
69. Mouse trap. (Place sticky side up on the floor with cheese on it)
70. Toothbrush holder. (Just slap a loop of duct tape sticky side out on bathroom mirror)
71. Resole your favorite old boots or sneakers. Durable, fashionable, and easily seen at night.
72. To make your car look like one of those limos with the mirror windows, just coat all your windows (except the front one) with duct tape.
73. After you make the mirror windows, use some duct tape to attach an elaborate system of mirrors on the outside of your car so you have a functional rear view mirror.
74. Patch up the holes in your tent, or just make a whole new tent that's completely waterproof and bugproof (works on the same principle as flypaper).
75. Poor man's tanning bed. Line the inside of a canoe, Volkswagen, or other defunct roofless box with tape (silver side out), set out in the sun, step inside, and broil yourself until you're done.
76. Wrap duct tape around your school books for an instant backpack. (And be sure to tape the bundle to your shoulder for easy carrying.)
77. Duct tape your mouse pad to your desk to keep it from sliding around.
78. While you're at it, tape your joystick and keyboard to your desk, and even your monitor, just in case you feel like smacking it when your system crashes.
79. The perfect birthday present for Red.
80. Wrap about 5 rolls of tape around #62's head, tie the free end around a pine tree, and then throw him off a cliff. That'd probably take care of Red's hate mail and would give #62 a nice smooth scalp.
81. On Halloween, wrap yourself in duct tape from the neck down and put a fishbowl on your head--instant Apollo 13 costume. Then draw some big eyes on the fishbowl with a black marker, and go to a casting call for the X-Files.
82. Live at the bottom of a hill? Basement filled with water? No problem! Erect a dam around your house with duct tape.
83. Use it to fix the cracks in your engine block.
84. The landlord's best friend in adding exotic decor to a kitchen. Use as kitchen shelf liners, easy wipe back splash for counter and permanent washable durable wallpaper.
85. Duct Tape makes a wonderful leash for walking your pet elephant.
86. Makes a terrific tether for attaching satellites to space vehicles (NASA please take note).
87. A loop of Duct Tape under new sod helps to keep it in place while the roots are growing. Better yet, tape your whole lawn with Duct Tape and paint it green... Never needs mowing again.
88. Build a better mousetrap: Place duct tape sticky side up next to some cheese.
89. Protect yourself against really bad cases of chapped lips.
90. Ear protectors for when your mother-in-law is visiting (you wrap several layers firmly around her mouth).
91. Makes a handy and chique dog leash.
92. Kleenex for people with large lung capacities and powerful diaphragms.
93. I am nominating my husband for "Lawn Nerd" of the week. He is outside spraying poison-weed killer on the lawn. To keep the "bad stuff" off his legs, he has taped duct tape around the top of his boots. We are inside claiming not to know him.
94. For those who cannot afford the high price of pet supplies, take a loop of duct tape sticky side out and it use it to clean the kitty litter instead of replacing it.
95. Tape two horn-shaped duct tape pieces to your head and run around saying, 'Catch me, I'm a steer!' when you are in trouble with the law. You'll only get half the sentence. (Believe me it works!)
96. NASA makes it standard policy to have shuttle astronauts carry at least one roll of duct tape with them into orbit.
97. Use it to force President Clinton to keep his pants on and his mouth shut.
98. Use it to keep a younger brother/sister from hacking into your computer system while you're away on vacation (i.e., wrap your keyboard and monitor in the stuff).
99. Wrap one or two hundred layers around your beer can to insulate it, keep it cold.
100. Get Dune-esque and make yourself a duct tape stillsuit.
101. For teachers: Use it to keep those hyper students in their seats all period.
102. For students: Once you rip yourself out of your seat, duct tape the teacher's last piece of chalk to the middle of his/her back.
103. Put a strip of duct tape, sticky side out, on the side of your stereo and stick all your CDs to it. Instant CD holder.
104. Stick a worm to a strip and tie the strip to the end of your fishing line. Just let those fish TRY and get away!
105. Impress you low tech friends by taping up a large portion of your living room wall. Tell them it's a "Home Theater Projection Screen".
106. John Bobbit first-aid kit!
107. Tape socks together before you wash them so they don't get lost.
108. Tape your hub caps to your car so they won't be stolen.
109. Tape your golf tee to your ball so you won't loose it. (Until you hit the ball anyway.)
110. Tape your wife's eyes shut before she goes shopping.
111. Wrap your wife's credit card in duct tape before she goes shopping. If that doesn't work, tape your mailbox shut to avoid the bill.
112. Just wad a little up after you knock your last Baseball over the fence.
113. Makes great streamers for the wings of that old DC-9 you've been meaning to customize.
114. Wanna get hitched and can't afford a wedding ring? Guaranteed not to need resizing.
115. Makes a great turban for the 90's if your ever in the Middle East.
116. One roll can change a screen door into a well insulated storm door for those blustery winter nights.
117. Belly button lint remover.
118. Who needs a muzzle? Tape your dog's mouth shut.
119. Place a strip inside your baseball mit. Win that Gold Glove award.
120. Put a little cologne on a strip and stick it in your car. Instant air freshener.
121. Damn earthquakes keep ruining your good china? Tape it to the cabinet.
122. Make an airtight seal to keep your half empty beer cans from going flat over night.
123. Avoid those pesky pick-pockets by taping your wallet to your buttocks.
124. Use duct tape to keep all the volumes of the Beatles Anthology together. (Leave room for more, though)
125. Tint your monitor. (severely)
126. A little duct tape on the bottom of your friend's mouse makes a great practical joke.
127. Tape together some old toys to make a trophy for the person with the most uses for duct tape.
128. Carry a roll with you so that when you open up a package in Walmart you can tape it shut and nobody will know the difference.
129. Wrap grandma's pills in a layer so they'll go down smoother.
130. Cut about 100 3-foot strips of duct tape. Stick them together lengthwise in groups of two, sticky sides facing each other. Poke small holes in the ends of each strip. Run string through the holes. Hang in a window. Congratulations! You now have Venetian blinds! -
131. To repair radial tires, put a couple of layers over the hole in the inner tube, or if you can get the tire off, place a couple of pieces over the puncture. Remount the tire on the rim and your back in business! (This application actually worked; I was able to drive twenty miles to a repair shop before the tire went flat again!)
132. The building maintenance man used to use it as drywall tape. (He used to work in an oil refinery).
133. Who needs a spice rack? Just tape your various spices to the wall.
134. Wrap some around your bellbottoms and go to a disco. They look authentic and are cheaper. However, the fly is a bit of a problem.
135. Cover your swimming pool with several layers and use it as a huge trampoline.
136. On the fourth day of a fishing trip in Ontario at the height of black fly season and you've decided to change jeans only to find a hole in the knee of the 'new' pair? Duct tape it closed, those little buggers will never get past it.
137. Had a fender-bender and now body parts are hanging loose? Forget the pop rivets and body putty, just duct tape everything back together.
138. I hate when binders fall apart. DT is a great binder binder!
139. Rock climbing harness (sure beats a body belay!)
140. Anti-perspirant.
141. Lamp shade.
142. If you have a lot of time on your hands, build a castle out of duct tape and match sticks.
143. Tired of your attack dogs, cats, alligators running away? Tape them to the door of your match stick castle.
144. Patch up the hole in the ozone layer.
145. The best way to rid the world of door-to-door salesmen: duct tape every single one that comes to your house to the next space shuttle to launch.
146. Take an old mobile home. Pull everything out of it and cover the inside with highly-reflective, silver duct tape. Now enjoy the world's biggest solar-powered oven (and tanning bed).
147. Smash your snowmobile into a tree, then duct tape the hood together again to gain extra flexible aerodynamics.
148. A better way than scraping (and sanding, sawing, burning) to remove paint.
149. Wrap a small cardboard box in duct tape. Cost-effective Tupperware.

The Blue Torpedo

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