Hank, you have to save him!"
"I have to see what the problem is first... what happened?"
"A goddamed FOH demonstration turned ugly!" The woman shrieked, as she and Hank ran down the hall. "He got separated from us... and a bunch of them must have ganged up on him, filthy animals." Tears ran down her cheeks, spilling onto the still, bloody figure she cradled in her arms.
"Med lab... Get him in here, stat!" Hank ordered. He looked over at Storm. "I'll be needing your assistance."
Storm nodded, her expression grim.
The four of them burst into the medical lab of the mansion, three moving of their own power. "Get him on the table!" Hank barked. The time for eloquent speech was over. He had a life to save, if it was even possible.
As gently as possible, Rogue place Gambit on the table. Hank started examining him immediately. "Good Lord," he exploded, "It's a wonder he's still alive."
Storm approached the table, carrying a tray of instruments. "Rogue, I think it would be best if you were to leave."
Although she phrased it as a request, Rogue knew it was really an order, and one she didn't want to obey. However, she knew she could do no good in this room. Reluctantly, she turned and left.
Once she was gone, Storm turned her attention to Hank. She was as worried as Rogue was, but she knew for now, she had to be strong. "How bad is it?"
Hank refused to stop working. "I hate to say it, but it's as bad as it looks."
A small, scared, gasp came from the corner of the room, where a forgotten figure huddled against the wall, watching the scene with wide eyes.
Hank knew who the gasp belonged to. "Get out of here, damn it!" he shouted. "Get out of here, now!"
For a moment, the small figure still stood there dumbly, then finally the command sunk in and she ran from the room, sobbing.
It was the first time in her entire seven years on this earth, Hank McCoy had ever sworn at his daughter. And at that moment, he didn't care.
Run, Siku, run. Past the rest of the X-Men, waiting in the hall, don't stop, don't talk to them, just run. Up the stairs, through the living room. Keep running.
Maybe, if she ran fast enough, time would change and this never would have happened. Maybe, if she ran fast enough, she'd outrun the pain and fear that gripped her, squeezing her chest like a clenched fist.
Siku, stop!
She wanted to ignore the voice in her head, but she couldn't. "Leave me alone," she screamed, both out-loud and in her mind.
Siku, please return to the house immediately. I'm in my office. We have to talk.
Reluctantly, she turned to obey.
Siku was shaking by the time she got back in to the house. She barged in to the professor's office, slamming the door behind her.
Charles looked at her. "Siku, I know you're upset-"
"He's hurt!" Siku interrupted. "He's hurt an he might die! I'm not stupid, I heard Daddy, I saw him. He wasn't moving. He might die and it's all your fault!
"Siku!" Charles voice raised sharply, taking on that commanding tone all the X-Men were a little too familiar with. "I admit the situation is bad..."
"It's your fault!" Siku shrieked, not willing to calm down, not willing to listen to anything the man had to say. "You're the leader, you're the one that sent them out there. If Daddy can't save him, I'll... I'll..." she stopped, her lips curling back. "I'll hate you for the rest of my life!"
Siku! Charles began.
"Stay out of my head!" the child screamed. "I'm not an X-Man. I'm not a member of the team. I don't have to listen to you!"
Sobbing, she turned and ran for the door, twisting the knob in her hands.
"Siku, please-"
Before he could finish, she managed to twist the knob, Wrenching the door open, she ran from the room.
It's his fault, it's his fault, it's his fault! and he knows it, too!
She ran into the rec. room. If everyone was there, it would mean there was news, if they weren't it meant they were downstairs, which meant things were still bad.
The only person in the rec. room was Joseph, sitting on one of the window ledges. He looked at her. "Siku, are you all right?"
She stared at him as if he was the dumbest creature on the planet. All right? How in the world could he ask that question. "N-no!" She reached up, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "I-I-" she began and stopped.
"You, what?" Joseph asked, his voice gentle.
"M-my dad swore at me!" Siku cried. Why did she say that? Of all the things to be crying about, it couldn't be that could it?
He walked over to her and knelt in front of her. "I'm sure he didn't mean to Siku,"
"I know he didn't!" She gulped. "H-he did it because... because Unca Remy is hurt."
"I know," Joseph said, looking down at the floor. "I-I was there. I didn't see it happening, but, I saw him being-" He stopped abruptly. The child didn't need to know his own feelings of guilt about this, the pain he felt when Rogue fell apart upon seeing Remy so badly beaten.
"It's not fair!" A choking sob burst from her mouth and she flung herself into his arms. "Unca Joseph, why did he have to get hurt, why?"
He put his arms around her, picking her up and carrying her over to the couch. "It's something we live with every day." He sat down, cradling her in his lap. "It's part of the risks of being a member of the X-Men."
"But why Unca Remy?" Siku moaned, burying her face in his shoulder. "Why him?"
Why indeed? Joseph thought. Why not me? Or any of us? Why Gambit? "You're very close to him, aren't you?" he asked.
She nodded, her face rubbing the material of his costume. "Unca Remy is special," she said.
There was more she wanted to tell him, she wanted to tell him how special Remy was, but she couldn't find the words. Nothing made sense right now.
Only one thing would have been worse, and that was if it were her Daddy who was hurt. But Hank didn't go on many of these "missions." Up until now, Siku never questioned why, it had always been that way, as long as she could remember, but now, she was beginning to understand.
Hank didn't go along because he could die on one of these missions. They all could die. Hank had to be more careful because of her. That was probably why Jean and Scott didn't go together very often, because of little Rachel.
All her life Siku lived with the X-Men. Missions, fights, and other problems were a fact of life to her. She lost count of the number of times she'd seen them leave, lost count of how many broken bones her father had repaired, how many stitches he'd sewn. There was always danger, what she hadn't realized that danger could mean death.
"U-unca Remy brought me home," she finally whispered. The tears washed over her again and her shoulder's shook.
Joseph's arms tightened around her, trying to comfort her.
Five hours later, Hank came into the rec. room and found Siku, curled up on Joseph's lap. "Is she all right?" he whispered.
Joseph shrugged. "She cried herself to sleep," he murmured, trying not to wake the child. "This hit her awfully hard."
I'm not surprised, Hank thought. She's always been close to Gambit. I wouldn't be at all surprised if their relationship started the night he brought her here, when she was just an infant. If I hadn't adopted her, Remy might have. He merely nodded to Joseph's comment.
"How is he?" Joseph asked.
"He's not good," Hank said, hesitantly.
Siku's eyes opened and she moved away from Joseph. "Daddy? Is Unca Remy gonna die?"
Hank looked from his daughter, to Joseph, and back to his daughter. He wouldn't lie to her. He knew there were risks when he adopted her, knew there were times when she would have to face situations children her age normally didn't face. This was one of them. "I-I don't know," he finally whispered. "I wish I could say he'll be fine, but he was hurt very badly."
"But you can save him, can't you?" Siku asked, her eyes pleading with him.
"I've done all I can do," Hank said. "The rest is up to him. The next twelve hours are very important. If he wakes up, I'm almost positive he'll be okay, If he doesn't..." His voice trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
"He'll die," Siku answered for him, gulping several times.
"Let's not focus on that, all right?" Hank requested. "Siku, Gambit is young, strong, and he's a survivor. There is a chance... a good chance he'll pull out of this."
Just like the cereal Bobby likes to eat, Siku thought. Frosted Flakes. Make the words sweet so I won't think about the brown cruddy stuff under them.
Joseph looked at Hank. "H-how is Rogue handling this?"
"She's in the room with Remy," Hank said. "I-I think you should go down there. She needs her closest friends right now. I'll stay here with my daughter."
Joseph nodded and left the room. Hank sat down on the couch. "Siku, I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier."
"'S'okay." Her voice sounded small and weak. "You were worried." She shifted closer to him, leaning against him.
Hank slipped an arm around his daughter, wishing he knew what to say. "Talk to me, Sunshine," he whispered. "Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me, so we can talk about it. Talking does help, little one."
"This is real isn't it?" Siku asked, her lower lip trembling faintly. "Every time the X-Men go out there, there's a chance they won't come back, right?"
A silence hung in the air like a thick fog before Hank answered. "Yes."
"Why do you do it, then?" Siku asked. "Why do you let Uncle Charles make you go out there and fight?" She looked at him, her eyes still swollen from her earlier crying.
"Honey, Charles doesn't 'make us' go out there!" Hank exclaimed, wondering how she ever got this idea in her head. "All of us are X-Men because we want to be."
"Why?" she persisted. "Why do you do it? Why do you, why does everyone go out there? Nobody ever seems to thank you for it. Half the time the people on the TV say bad things about you."
"We don't do it for thanks, Siku. We do it because... because it has to be done."
"I don't understand."
Hank sighed. "When mutants first became known, they frightened people. I don't understand why exactly, but it seemed that getting powers by being bitten by radioactive arachnid was all right, but being born with it was different. Often, when a mutant's powers began manifesting themselves, they had no control over it. And, because deep down, all mutants are human beings first, some are good, some are bad. Some think that because of our unique abilities, we should be in charge, and Homo Sapiens our servants, a lower class of beings."
"Your uncle Charles has a dream," Hank continued. "That man and mutant kind can live together in peace. He founded the school originally to help young mutants learn to control their power. He founded the X-Men to use those powers to help mankind."
"Does it matter?" Siku blurted out. "Why help people who don't even seem to care?"
"Well, one of the reasons is for you."
"Me!?" Siku gasped. "I never asked anyone t'go out and get hurt for me! If I was in charge, I wouldn't let you go!"
"Well, not just for you," Hank elaborated. "But for you, little Rachel, your friends Cierra and Cameron. For all of you children who will one day run this world. More and more mutants are being born or discovered every day. If we don't learn to live together and get along, the future isn't going to look very bright. So, we do what we can... we try to make this world a little better. I can't answer for everyone else, but I would gladly die in the line of duty if I knew that someday, you would be able to walk anywhere in this world and be accepted. And, I'd even venture to guess Gambit feels the same way."
"I'm so scared," she whispered. "I'm so scared he's gonna die. It hurts, Daddy. It hurts me inside so badly, like someone's punchin' me in the chest, over an' over again and they just won' stop!"
"I know, Sunshine. I feel the same way."
"So how do I deal with this, Daddy?" she asked, the tears falling freely, but managing to keep some control over her voice. "How do I live with the idea that... when Uncle Remy... or Aunty Rogue go out there, they might never come home?"
Hank bit his lip, thinking very carefully speaking. "I-I can't make it go away, Sunshine. I can't give you any guaranties that none of the X-Men, myself included, won't get hurt, or even killed in the line of duty. I don't have any answers on how to learn to live with the fear, either. Everyone deals with it in their own way."
"How do you deal with it?"
"I-I try not to dwell on it all the time, because that won't help," Hank said, slowly. "But also, I try to remember. There are times when I've been angry at someone here, so angry, I never want to speak to them again."
"When?" Siku tipped her head to one side, regarding Hank with a curious expression.
"Oh, like when your Uncle Bobby deliberately disobeys my orders and lets you pig out on sugary junk food, or when I leave your Uncle Logan in charge of you and he lets you stay up half the night watching those terrible Chuck Norris movies."
Despite the tears, a faint smile came to Siku's lips at the mention of her uncles and their heinous crimes. "But you don't stay mad long," she pointed out.
"No, I don't. I can't." Hank said. "Because, I know.. that despite their faults, or perhaps even because of them in some ways, these people are my family. As much as my parents, as much as you are, Sunshine. But they are family that live a very dangerous lifestyle. I-I can't stay mad at them, because I realize that I might lose them... too easily. So, I try, in my own way, to let them know I care. That I'm there for them if they need me. And, if the worst should happen, that one of them should be.. killed... that I, that all of us here, will remember them."
"D-do you think... if we could ask him, that.. he would think this was all worth it?" Siku asked, suddenly. "That his.. if he... well, if he doesn't wake up, that he'll feel it was worth while?"
"I can't say for sure," Hank admitted. "But, I know your uncle Remy somewhat, and I'd say he probably would."
At the mention of his name, two tears rolled down Siku's face. "I-I understand... I guess," she whispered. "But oh, Daddy, if I had a choice, I'd rather he stayed alive!"
He drew her into his lap, hugging her tightly. "Me too, Sunshine. Me too."
Siku sat up in bed, looking at the alarm clock. Four a.m. She couldn't sleep. Well, that wasn't exactly true... she was able to fall asleep, it was staying that way that was the problem. Every time she drifted off, she'd wake up again, feeling vaguely like she'd had a bad dream. Then she would remember Remy, and realize her dreams weren't bad, it was reality.
She slid out of the bed, taking her red flannel robe from the chair and putting it on. She decided not to bother with slippers, her feet were furry enough to keep her warm.
Quietly, she made her way down to the medical lab. Opening the door, she saw Gambit, lying in the bed, surrounded by machinery. Rogue sat in a chair to the right of him, her eyes red-rimmed but closed. She must have fallen asleep, Siku thought.
She approached the bed cautiously, looking at the machinery. She'd seen it all her life, lined up along the walls, or being taken apart and work on by her father, but this was different... she wasn't used to seeing it work. She wasn't used to the whirling noises, the beeps and buzzes and scratching noises as it helped him to function, recorded his condition, and preparing to screech at any second if something went wrong.
She remembered when Remy and the rest of them left that morning. Remy had been teaching her how to play poker when he was called away. Siku pouted, pretending to be hurt by his leaving, but it was an act. She was Hank McCoy's daughter, she knew the score. Or at least I thought I did.
She remembered how he grabbed her, scooping her up into his arms to plant a kiss on her forehead. "Don' worry, Petite," he'd told her. "Your uncle Gambit an de X-Men will take care of this problem faster dan you can whistle de Star Spangled Banner. An' when we come back, I teach you more tricks. Soon 'nough you'll be able t'win 'nough money from Cyke or Bobby, you buy yourself a new bike."
She'd laughed, hugging him, returning his kiss with one on his cheek. He swung her up high, so her head was almost touching the ceiling before bringing her down to the ground. In that one second where he held her at arm's length, she looked at his face, strong, proud, handsome. His eyes sparkled brightly, like ruby and onyx.
It doesn't matter what he looks like now, she told herself. If anything, God forbid, does happen, I'll always, always remember how he looked at that moment.
She forced herself to look at him. So pale, so still. He looked nothing like the man who had swung her around so carefree and confident less than a day earlier. Timidly, she reached out and touched his left hand, about the only part of him that didn't seem bruised, bandaged or broken.
"Unca Remy?" she whispered, "I don't know if you can hear me, but I-I just couldn't sleep."
"Daddy says things are bad," she continued, her voice barely audible, so as not to wake Rogue. "If you don't wake up soon, you probably won't wake up at all."
"I-I love you Uncle Remy. I know, I've told you that a million times, an' I know you know I do, but I don't think I've ever told you how much. Y-you've never actually said it, but I always kinda figured if it wasn't for you, I never would have met Dad, never would have been adopted by him."
"But it's more than that. You've always been here for me. You always listened to me, you never speak to me like I'm a dumb little kid. You tell me I'm pretty, and when you say it, I actually feel pretty."
She slid her hand under his, curling her fingers around his. She thought her tears were gone, that she'd spent them all earlier, but now she knew that tears were infinite. But that was the only comfort she would allow herself, the tears. She would not cry any more. No sobbing, no wailing.
"D-Daddy tells me a lot of this is up to you now," she whispered. "He says that a person's will to live is very 'portant. I don't know what you're feeling right now, unca Remy. I don't know where you are even. For all I know, you're in heaven, watching you.. an me talking to you. Or, maybe you're in pain. Maybe you hurt so bad you can hardly stand it, but you can't do anything, because you can't wake up. Maybe you really don't have a choice in this.. maybe you're going to die an' there is nothing I can do..."
"If you do have a choice, I can't tell you what one t'make. Maybe you're seeing something better now, and maybe you'd like to leave this all behind... but if it makes any difference, fight this please? Please come back to us. I-I'm only seven. I-I'm just not ready to face a life without uncle Remy."
"But... no matter what happens, just know that I love you, okay?"
She looked at his hand. If this was a movie, he'd wake up, now.
Nothing. Life wasn't a movie. Life was much rougher.
She slid her hand away from his. She was still sad, but the fear had subsided. She still didn't know if Gambit would live, but at least she'd told him she loved him. And, if he didn't hear her, maybe God would relate the message when he got there.
As the door swung behind her, signalling her departure, Rogue opened her eyes. She wasn't sleeping, she'd only pretended to be when Siku came in. She hadn't been ready to answer questions, or talk.
Rising from the chair, she walked over to where Siku had stood moments earlier. Reaching down, she wrapped her hand around his, squeezing it gently.
The hand closed around hers.
She didn't even notice it at first, but it had happened. She looked down at the intertwined hands. His fingers were definitely curled around hers. Was it? Could it be?
She looked at his face, his eyes seemed to be moving rapidly under his lids. The machinery seemed to go into overdrive, clicking and recording this change. "Remy?" she whispered.
Slowly his eyes opened. She gasped. "Remy? Remy can you hear me?"
He nodded. "'Ello Chere." His voice sounded like he'd been chewing on a razor blade.
"Don' move, Sugah, okay? Don' move, don' even try to speak, okay? Ah'm sure the buzzer is goin' off in Hank's room an' he'll be here in a second." Rogue realized she was babbling, but she didn't care. He was awake, he was alive. "You jus' rest, okay Sugah? Hank'll be here soon, the important thing is that you woke up!"
"Rogue.." he began, only to get silenced.
"Don' talk, okay? McCoy'll have a fit if he gets here and sees us yakking. Plenty of time for talk when you're up and around."
"Jus one t'ing," he asked, "Please? Den I be quiet."
She knew one thing about Remy, once he set his mind to something, not even dynamite would pry it lose. "What?" she asked.
"T-tell Siku I did have a choice," He paused, licking his lips, trying to get enough moisture going in his mouth to finish. "An' tell her, I made my way back."
The End.