RAW DATA INCORPORATED
Your #1 Source for all RAW NEWS AND LIBELLOUS RUMORS!
Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were repeatedly harassed by RAW D.I.T.
Neil Kempen, on their recent trip to Africa. Hilary told reporters that
she first noticed this "strange person" following her around
as they were sightseeing at Victoria Falls (Zimbabwe). The next day this
same "Troubled person" suddenly "stepped out of nowhere
as we were touring the Serengeti Plains, and in his underwear began flexing
his muscles" The First lady said. "It was the strangest thing
I've seen since the '92 National Convention" .
The antics of this deranged individual did not stop there, later Neil
Kempen forced Hilary and Chelsea into his Land Rover, Drove them to the
nearest Rhinoceros, and threatened "I'll push you out of the car unless
you both say that I'm your bestest good friend". Chelsea was visably
shaken by the event "It was even scarier than Sam Donaldson"
the Teen daughter of the President was heard saying. Fortunately for the
two hostages, the Rhinoceros was actually a Secret Service agent in disguise
who quickly arrested the shamelessly unrepentant Neil Kempen.
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Degenerate Neil Kempen was first noticed at Victoria Falls
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Suddenly "stepped out of nowhere as we were touring the
Serengeti Plains, and in his underwear began flexing his muscles"
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"Normal" looking rhino is actually Secret Service
agent in disguise
****
Strange perpetrator finally in police custody
****
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