BURNING MAUS NEWS: Page 6
....July 9, 1998. It was revealed today, that the fires that have ravished Florida
for the past few weeks, were started by none other than . . . Tommy, the wÜnder
pyromaniac. When asked to comment why he started the horrific blazes that destroyed
countless homes, Tommy could only reply with, "The Nebulous Entity made me do it."
Witnesses say the boy had recently recessed into some strange state, in which his
eyes became nothing but black circles, and he would only eat peanut butter-- both
definite signs of Nebulous contamination.
So this is what you have stooped to, you cosmic bastard, destroying our children?
How dare you! How dare you come to this planet, and shit on it so profusely. We
look forward more and more to killing you. It will be a great day for us, for the
citizens of Black Rock City, and for the whole world.
In a related story, it appears that the Nebulous Entity killed Roy Rogers, so that
the A&E network could broadcast their Biography show on him at a strategic time.
As we see, murder for ratings is not too shallow an act for this evil Satan from
Outer Space. We must come together to defeat the nebulous entity!!
Sincerley,
BÜRNING MAUS!
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