Keeping It Catholic Scrapbook

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What I Didn't Know

Before I Had Kids

 

 

ow to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a

standing toddler - simultaneously.

 

Which lines of The Cat in the Hat and If I Ran the Circus can be

skipped over without a child noticing.

 

ow bright the full moon is at 3 a.m.

 

The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes and

mitten clips.

 

ow many seconds it takes to microwave 4 fish sticks perfectly.

 

Who John Jacob Jinkelheimer Schmidt is.

 

ocations of public restrooms all across town.

 

Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to

retrieve a lost blankie or favorite cuddle toy.

 

hat tigers live in the trees in our backyard.

 

The amazing Technicolor variety of colors found when changing a

diaper.

 

ow to open a van door while bobbling 2 lunch boxes, two

extra coats, a purse, a diaper bag and a baby.

 

The fine art of vacuuming a floor without hosing up a Barbie shoe

or a Playmobil cannonball.

 

hat solid white socks get lost in the dryer at a much slower

rate than do the mates of patterned socks that coordinate to special

outfits.

 

How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.

 

lmost every favorite toddler lyric ever penned.

 

How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it.

 

hat one can never own too many sippy cup lids or refrigerator

magnets.

 

Scientific names of dinosaurs from A to Z.

 

hat reverse psychology really works.

 

The recipe for a homemade version of Play-doh.

 

hat Duplo and Lego blocks procreate in the night.

 

The distinctive sounds of Cheerios crunching underfoot.

 

hy they call them Happy meals.

 

How far you can dilute juice so it still retains its taste.

 

hat man (or child, anyway) really can live on peanut butter alone.

 

That gender inequality starts early in clothing: Boy's underpants

have a wide band on top, while the waistband and leg holes on

girls look the same, increasing the odds that a little girl will put

them on sideways or upside down.

 

esame Street's air time.

 

That the more my kids learn, the less I seem to know.

 

he blessedness of naps and the inviolate importance of routines.

 

And the one I wanted to add...

 

ow much you could love one human being!

 

 


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