Blogslut II: Jason's Revenge

or: The Dragon of Contentment


I really have no time to update just now, but this doesn't really count as an update since I'm just rehashing what Mimi said on Sunday and putting it in italics for your viewing pleasure. Standing on the shoulders of giants. Science works this way too. Lest you think otherwise....Anyway, she so accurately captured what it means to be milling about on a Sunday that with the exception of the scrabble business, I could have written it myself (with less skill, naturally). Especially like the nod towards object relations theory which is, after all the grandmother of Harlowe's whole cloth mother paradigm...and is appropriate here for that reason as well.

Boy I had no idea I was going to go there when I started. The title seems misleading now, but I'm going to leave it. Just added the subheading...(everyone: oooh! he's so nonlinear today!)

And now, to Mimi Smartypants with analysis and critique:

I had a hard time getting to sleep. My mind was full of Scrabble tiles (I lost every game, but I lost with flair and style) and signage. Now it's Sunday, a total placeholder in which I only update so that I don't dissolve entirely into a pile of inarticulate goo, and I have that vague Sunday unease, full of desire without object. I really hate this feeling, because it leads to the need to constantly quiz yourself like you are talking to an unsoothed infant: What do I need? A nap? Not sleepy. Food doesn't appeal. A secret forbidden cigarette does appeal, but that's probably just an illusion that would disappear as soon as I lit up. Desire without object usually leads to masturbation, and I'm certainly not knocking masturbation, but really, do I have to have such infantile needs? I am regressing instead of maturing, always chasing the dragon of contentment.

Actually, the better part of my desire has a very tangible object these days (how romantically stated!) but I can certainly relate to that 4:00 pm Sunday disconnected feeling, where you've not gotten anything done to offset the growing Monday-morning-after-a-holiday anxiety that sets in around that time.


posted by MT at 3:02 PM |