A tip of the hat to the hydrocephalic cherubim out there...

In spite of the fact that I'm pretty happy these days and looking forward to a lovely and meaningful (and surprise-filled) V-day today, I can still appreciate the ascerbic and the dry wit about this (let's admit it) Hallmark-manufactured holiday. And in that realist spirit, I give you Mimi Smartypants describing some office decorations.

Someone on the other side of my office has decorated her cubicle with the freakiest Valentine's Day decorations, they are freaking me the freak out and I want you to come over here, hold my hand, and feed me Valium until I feel normal again. This woman's entire cube is covered with these big-headed children, "I Wuv You This Much," Precious Moments style, and I guess these hydrocephalic monsters are supposed to be in love? Or something. There is one in particular that I cannot deal with, it features the hydrocephalic boy and the hydrocephalic girl facing each other, with a lot of bubbly cartoon hearts around them, and they are holding a kitten between them. To me it looks like these children are moments away from tearing the kitten apart and stuffing its kitten flesh into their creepily similar pink rosebud mouths. Like they are just about to smear their extraordinarily creepy child-sized wedding clothes with kitten blood. I don't know about you, but hydrocephalic Precious Moments children with moist blank eyes dismembering and eating kittens does not exactly scream HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to me, and on my way to the fax machine I have to run by this woman's cube with my eyes closed, and let us just hope she takes it down promptly on Monday because I do not think I can take it much longer.

I warms me that I probably would not have gone quite so rapidly to conjuring images of kitten blood on their pristine white seraphim garments. I think I may have turned a corner!


posted by MT at 12:51 PM |