This page intentionally left blank

I have been finding some strange and unusual shit out there lately. Let me tell you about it.

The headline comes from a report that was sent to me. From the "If You Are Blind, Don't Read This" files. The last page was intentionally left blank, the report said. So of course, it wasn't. A more accurate statement might have been, "This Page (except for, you know, this line) Intentionally Left Blank". I can't understand why a) you would need filler at the end of a report like that and b) you would want to tell me about it. If you worry that your reader is flipping through, frantic that some critical component of the report has been truncated, leaving a blank-page-that-isn't-blank as a placeholder seems like an odd solution.

OH! Speaking of truncated, here is, as Dave Barry says, the best use of this word in a news headline: Elephant erection truncated. It works on so many levels! Elephant erections trunk-ated? Wink wink nudge nudge, what? They must have been slapping backs around the editors desk at that one.

HOOORAY! Mimi Smartypants and Nora are back in country. Go here and repeat after me: awwwww...

ITEM: A billboard we passed Wednesday on the way back from a client meeting was advertising a local furrier, with the simple headline "Beautiful previously-owned furs." To which, I wondered immediately and out loud, "isn't all fur previously owned?" I ask you.

MORE BILLBOARD FUN. Those wacky Europeans. What they won't do to sell...whatever it is they're selling here (clothing or furniture, I think). Saw this on Capri.



Speaking of Europe, I am heading out on Sunday for a two-and-a-half week jaunt through G5 -- UK, France, Germany, Spain and Italy. Luckily I have lots of Euros left from the honeymoon. I just picked up my phone adapter kit from the IT boys, and I'm all squared away. Rather than sending postcards, I will simply take photos and email them out to everyone. I'll post the nifty ones here as well.

Wacky religious news part 1: You can have my marriage when you pry it from my cold dead fingers...
The oddly-named "Marriage Protection Week " came and went last month.

Did you know? The glorious God-given sanctity of traditional, missionary-position marriage is under savage attack. The GOP is openly terrified that gays are galloping into the cultural consciousness on sequined horseback, lovers are shunning traditional weddings in favor of incense and anal sex and taiko drumming, children are weeping in the streets, neglected and confused and reading Harry Potter backward, wondering why Mommy scours the nerve.com personals while Daddy is off visiting his "sisters" in Bangkok.

(snip)

This is the BushCo way. This is the neoconservative creed. Invent a bogus threat, inject black smears of fear, hint that something church approved and "family friendly" is in danger and that wee innocent children and cute puppies are about to be tattooed and/or made to wear lots of leather chaps and eyeliner, and if we don't stand up to the Big Bad Evil, society as we know it will, very literally, crumble.

(Point of order: while our nontraditional wedding did in fact feature incense, there were few sequins, no horseback, and no backdoor action that I was aware of. )

I occasionally listen to a local fundie radio station in the morning when I haven't had enough coffee to get my blood going, and they were talking about this very thing. And I listened for longer than I usually will because they decided to forego their scriptural decrees favoring white-bread missionary-style marriage, and instead appealed to the psychological and sociological evidence that favors one-man/one-woman marriages over all other flavors and varieties. (Ignoring for the moment that the concept of a platonic "marriage" ideal is absurd on the face of it). And the summary, as near as I could tell without reviewing the literature directly was a confusion of cause and effect. Citing evidence that traditional two-parent homes have higher income, kids who go on to college and become better consumers, evidence less abuse, violence, criminal behavior in their children and so on, what they succeeded in convicing me of was simply this: when societies are geared to support one familial structure over others, those structures will obviously flourish. "Traditional" marriage is a heavily funded industry (see previous rants about THE KNOT DOT COM), and there exist numerous social reinforcements for choosing to join this particular club. These data strongly argue in favor of the very thing that the same-sex marriage crowd, for example, is fighting for: give us the same financial, social and cultural advantages when we marry, and our children will do very well indeed. [Naturally, the argument against same-sex marriages grows even thinner when children are no longer part of the equation].

Fun.


Wacky religious news part 2: The Ten Commandments.
It still grinds my teeth to hear the whole ten commandments-as-cornerstone-to-American-jurisprudence argument bandied about. Such hooey. The ancient Roman system has more to do with the way our courts operate than Moses and his burning bushes. And I found this analysis which tickled me as well. Take out killing (murder or manslaughter), bearing false witness (perjury, libel) and theft, and what is left that can be tied to sensible laws that are considered the bedrock of US legal code? Worshipping one god? Blue laws? Prohibitions against coveting your neighbor's wife or goods? (George Carlin does a lovely rant on this: "Coveting is what keeps the economy going. Your neighbor buys a vibrator that plays "Oh Come All Ye Faithful," suddenly you want one too. Coveting creates jobs. Leave it alone.") The current administration might want to control our thoughts, but they haven't figured out how. Yet.

Fun.


Wacky religious news part 3: Mother Theresa, Threat or Menace?
Boy, just when you think you've heard it all. Go here and here to read why Mother Theresa may not have been the consummate force for good many believe her to be. And in other news, puppies aren't as cute as you think they are! No, they are NOT.


Wacky religious news part 4: Copenhagen's Cult of Personality
Link via The Raving Atheist: Norse mythology is recognized as a religion in Denmark. I especially like the comments on this one:

"...wouldn't it be cool to go to a hotel someplace, plop down on the bed, open the nightstand thingy, and flip through a stack of Thor comics looking for something to read?

Would beat the hell out of what they got now.

posted by MT at 2:01 PM |