Wow, where have I been...?

My computer's been imploding on me recently. If this keeps happening I may be forced to reformat. =( My computer is the devil!

This morning I went to Disneyland to watch the Angels parade. It was fun! And crowded. But it was still fun! And I had the perfect picture taking position- standing on a fence/back of a bench- until this stupid guard guy told us to get down. Then I had to settle for just standing on a bench where I didn't have as good of an angle for pictures of Troy Glaus and Scott Spezio. Sad...

I'm still sick of people flaking on me, but I'm glad I get to sleep a bit more tomorrow. I'm getting extremely tired a lot now and I think it's because I work too much. You think???

Belated happy birthday to my favorite God-daughter of all time: Steffi Marie Liao Cadiz!!! She turned one last week. =) She's absolutely adorable and I love her!

Maybe by the end of next week I'll have been able to catch up on everything non-work related I've been trying to do for the last couple weeks... Anyway, must sleep now. Now!
posted by Nikki at 11:17 PM

I am sick to death of having people flake on me. I suppose it's my fault for flaking myself this morning. But fuck it. I'm pissed.
posted by Nikki at 3:00 PM

Okay, I've been neglecting this place...

I just had the most wonderful feeling about two minutes ago... and the only word that describes it is langorous. Hahaha... It's the first time in a long time that I've gotten to just sit (or in this case lie) and feel completely relaxed. Never mind the fact that I've got to be at the office in three hours (on a Sunday, no less!) or that I feel awful about flaking on the AIDS Walk this morning, it's nice to just have absolutely nothing to do for a whole twenty minutes. And to be in a place where I can actually enjoy it, instead of ghosting about a place just because I'm waiting for my next appointment to begin. That, plus the fact that I got a whole eight and a half hours of sleep last night because I thought I'd be at the AIDS Walk this morning and I'd need the energy. Oh, and the fact that I got to spend the whole morning lounging around and (finally!) finishing a book I've been attempting to read for about three weeks now.

Although, yes, I do feel extremely bad about not going to the AIDS Walk this morning, especially since I got people to donate money to me because they were supposedly "sponsoring" me to walk. I have to remember to mail those into their office. I hate being a flake. A lot. Plus, I was really excited about it too. And then my cousin called to see if I was there because she was on Melrose on her way to watch. God... I'm not going to dwell because in its place I just had the most relaxing morning I've had since July.

So in the fifteen minutes I have left of my relaxing morning I'm gonna go do some work... Wow I'm so sad... But at least it's stupid work and not real work. LOL.
posted by Nikki at 12:48 PM

Food coma. Must sleep.
posted by Nikki at 11:07 PM

God, I love Everwood... It's such a good show. It always finds something to make me cry.

If they're ever able to find this sniper in the DC area it'll be a miracle. It's like finding a needle in a haystack. Can you imagine what it'd be like to have your wife/husband die when they're standing right beside you? My God... If I were living there right now I swear I wouldn't even leave my house. And then I'd make sure to stay well away from any open windows.

I'm so tired... and yet I'm still working. Gross. I'm such a dumbass...

Hey! Get this! People who eat cheese are less prone to tooth decay! Hehehe... I need to eat more cheese. =)
posted by Nikki at 10:29 PM

Good Lord, I get almost 50 junk emails per day. 35 of which I delete before I even read them. Gross.

I just saw Ernie Reyes Jr. with a five minute part on Charmed... He's still hot. But now he's old. Hahaha... God, those black belts that could kick your butt! Yow!

Wow, tonight's Angel is really good...

Okay, this has been a very stupid blog. I know my recent blogs have been lacking in content, but these days once I get home I don't have much brain power left.

I'm glad people in the Philippines are protesting the U.S. presence in the Philippines. Shoot, I'm protesting U.S. presence in the Philippines. I'm a firm believer that Filipinos need to learn how to live without U.S. influence like the kind they've had in the past. Right now, I think that the Filipino culture is more "American" than Filipino and that really sucks. And yes, I do believe it's the U.S.'s fault. I'm sorry, but they knew what would happen when they decided to "protect and help the poor Filipino people" back in the early 1900's. Now you know why I'm so bitter against the American government.

I'm gonna go get ready for bed now.
posted by Nikki at 10:21 PM

This morning I left the house in the middle of Josie and the Pussycats on STARZ and tonight I came home in the middle of Josie and the Pussycats on STARZ- in almost the exact same spot. Weird...

My dad and I spent $85 on dinner tonight at the Jazz Kitchen in Downtown Disney. Good food, great music, very very long wait. But that's okay cause I came upon this very Orange County-like ska band called Suburban Legends, who were actually pretty good, while we were waiting. (Plus, my dad got to watch the end of the Angels game in front of ESPN Zone.) They had awesome stage presence... one of them reminded me of Wandag- a lot! Hahaha... even my dad commented on him as "having a lot of energy." They're supposed to be there every Sat and Sun through December, with sets every hour from like 6-10pm. I think I'll be going back to watch some more. Can you believe they're all still in high school and/or college??? Sheesh! =)
posted by Nikki at 11:16 PM

Sleepy.
Insurance school is boring.
Ate too much this week.
Jackie and Bubbles and Jenny are the bestest for letting me crash all week.
Bought Sims Unleashed tonight... to alleviate the pent-up Encino to Buena Park traffic frustration.
Accepted an invitation to be a Sims Online beta tester. As if I wouldn't!
I think I bought too much stuff in the last couple weeks. But I still feel like I need retail therapy.
It's hot in here.
I'm sleepy.
My back is itchy.
Must get personal masseuse.
Too much to do. I just want to veg. And meet nice, cute boys.
posted by Nikki at 9:58 PM

My missing father has been found... even I'm not irresponsible enough to NOT call when I'm not going to be home from a foreign country when I said I would... ugh.

Off to Westwood now... yay... Although I must thank Bubbles, Jackie, and Jenny for letting me impose my butt for a week.
posted by Nikki at 10:11 PM

Good Lord I'm so tired... I really would just like to go to bed. Except that I have too much to do... Gah!

My dad was supposed to be home earlier today... He seems to have disappeared. Not a phone call or anything since before my mom left. And his cell's not working. Eh.

Tomorrow begins my week long stay in Westwood with Jackie and Bubbles and Jenny. This should prove to be interesting... Hope I can find parking for the week!
posted by Nikki at 11:39 PM

I just got home. Wow, it's late.
posted by Nikki at 4:01 AM

The sidewalk memorial is getting bigger by the hour...

I'm all alone. The things I could in this house right now... my dad's in Mexico and my mom is on a plane to Europe. Damn, it's too bad I have no one to do them with...

I played the piano tonight for the first time in forever... and I think I killed my nails in the process. On the other hand, I found that I can still play "Santa Fe" from Newsies pretty decently. Being able to do that made my whole night... and the fact that I can still sight read ragtime and some classical music. Hahahaha!!! Sadly, though, my piano is filthy thanks to all the little kiddies that come and put their dirty fingers all over it! There's nasty stuff all over the keys! Not to mention the dust... Is there such a thing as a professional piano cleaner?

I went on an aimless quest tonight to shop for candles at Illuminations and return something to Things Remembered. I basically drove down to Santa Ana's Main Place for nothing... and then tried to make my way to Downtown Disney for Illuminations only to find that it was so crowded that they were putting us in that other lot- which made me mad so I left. Then I went to the Cerritos mall where I finally found a Things Remembered that had actual smart people working there. (The stupid person working at the Main Place one DID NOT KNOW THAT SANTA MONICA HAD A DIFFERENT TAX THAN SANTA ANA. What the fuck is that? She was alll, "Hmmm... why is this ringing up different than the receipt? And I looked at her and was like, "Uh, tax?" And she just looks at me like I spoke in Greek or something. Then she finally gets it and she's all, "There's a different tax in Santa Monica?" ????????? So I say, "Uh, yeah..." And she's like, "I'm sorry, but we can't do anything about the tax. If you want it all back you'll have to go back to Santa Monica." And I was just like... "I think I'll go to Cerritos instead- it's closer!" Good Lord. I hate stupid people. How did she get that job???) On the way out of the Cerritos mall I bought nibblers from Mrs. Field's to celebrate smart people. Anyway, I finally ended up at Trader Joe's and food shopping made me happy. (And then piano playing calmed me down.) But I got to buy chocolate milk (to go with the cookies), hummus, Indian "pita" bread, pear/pomengranate juice (which I swear tastes like non-alcoholic wine), white nectarines, and baklava for Doug's party tomorrow. Yum! Guess what I had for dinner? LOL.

And before I go, I must say thanks for the card Ryan!!! It made me smile. =)
posted by Nikki at 12:35 AM

So going outside my house... not the nicest feeling in the world. Having a bedroom facing the street with a window that's almost always open... not a nice feeling either. And the window thing is probably gonna change, except that I have it as open as it can get with the fan on high right now to get rid of that damn paint smell.

I'm kind of sad... cause my mom is going away for two weeks. And my dad is coming back on Sat morning. Cause I don't get to have the house to myself. But I'm like afraid of all these stupid scary things that have been happening recently. Like shootings... and hurricanes... and strikes... and the earthquake on my birthday... and the fact that our family credit card was somehow blocked today... and my mom can't get hold of my dad to find out if he did it... and he hasn't called yet when he was supposed to...

I wanted to sleep early tonight. And my mom wants me to stay up to weigh her suitcase for her. Except that she hasn't even started packing yet and I need to leave for work at 7:30am tomorrow. And it's 10:45pm right now! Grrrr!!!

I drove by the street tonight on the way home (like I do every day since there's practically no other way to get to my house) and now there's more candles and there's pictures and papers taped to the fence. And there were a couple guys out there tonight looking at the papers. On the way out this morning I saw the bullet holes in the fence. I think there were five of them. I have this scary urge to stop and take a picture of the whole thing. As much as I hate to admit it, this whole thing has gotten me extremely freaked out. And I really do need a hug cause I'm fucking scared (of nothing) and I want to cry. And no, it can't be PMS this time, unless it's post-PMS.

I swear, I knew my neighborhood wasn't the best neighborhood. I've pretty much known since my second year of college when I started noticing a pattern... every time I heard something on the news about the KKK or white supremacists, it always took place near my neighborhood. And a few times a year all this graffiti shows up on the fences outside my street- which gets cleaned off in no more than a couple days by the Buena Park people. And a few times a year I also hear helicopters or police on loudspeakers telling someone to surrender or to come out (like I did last week as I was getting ready for work.) And on July 4 this year some kid got shot and killed at the park near here... the park that my dad and I used to go to to play tennis when I was in high school- the park that I was looking forward to being able to play basketball in when I moved back cause it's got the closest public basketball courts to my house. I wanna move.
posted by Nikki at 11:40 PM

Begin the morning after... I'm sorta scared to be outside my house now...
posted by Nikki at 9:42 AM

Colorado gets snow tomorrow. No fair... =(

I really want to just hang out with a close, old friend right now and veg in front of the TV. Or even just sit on the couch and cuddle in a friendly-like way. Cause today was not a good day. Today's events:

7am: Guy gets shot and killed in my block... as in, two streets down, 1000 yards away from my street, 2000 yards away from my house, etc.
9am: I wake up to helicopters.
11am: I hit police tape, news vans, and lots of cops as I try to leave for work.
12pm: Pick up Ginnie to have a business lunch. Watch the news for explanations of the police tape, news vans, and lots of cops on my street.
4pm: As I'm dropping Ginnie off at home I get a message from my mom saying that my dad can't go to Europe with her on Fri because his company is sending him to Mexico tonight due to the dock worker's strike. She wants me to go instead. I start calling all three of my bosses and my students to try to rearrange my next three week's schedules.
5pm: I get to the office to try to explain this to my boss.
6pm: I leave the office wondering what the hell I'm gonna do.
6:30pm: I call my mom and find out that she neglected to tell me that my dad's company is going to reimburse him for the cost of the missed vacation- after I'd already rearranged my schedule for tomorrow and worried three of my bosses to death about what to do to replace me on such short notice. I tell her I'm not going.
7pm: I get to Tam-tam's place and finally get three hours of normalcy.
10pm: I see a news report on the shooting and subsequent car chase on the channel 5 news. I see very familiar houses and my mom's church on TV.
11pm: On my way home, I see candles and flowers on the sidewalk near my house.

So here's the story on the shooting, so far as I can piece it together. Some guy, who was a small business owner, was being followed home by three guys in a truck. The police suspect robbery. He doesn't want to lead the guys to his house, where he has three kids and a wife, so he gets out of his van and starts running down the street. The three guys in the truck shoot him to death. The cops somehow find out and start chasing the truck. They get the truck to crash somewhere on Lincoln in Orange. One of the guys takes off on foot and the cops try to shoot him. They only hit his arm. All three are arrested. According to the news report, the family goes to my mom's church- where the mom might be a teacher there. He has three kids, who all looked between five and twelve years old.

And here's the story on my dad. He works as a dock manager/terminal superintendant/whatever for Chiquita down at the Long Beach docks. The longshoremen are on strike. Chiquita decides to divert all their ships to Mexico, cause their fruit is starting to rot on them. He has to be there to do his job, because he's the only one on the West Coast who does his job. Hence, he'll be gone till the strike is over.

And the reasons why I'm not going to Europe this Friday... 1) I am a responsible person- almost sickeningly so. I don't like canceling on people. 2) I'd have to spend 16 days sharing a room with my mom. 3) The tour they picked sucks. You're in a different place each day, sometimes two different places each day. 4) I'm supposed to go to insurance school next week- which was already paid for by my company. I'd have to pay the $200 to go another time, plus it'd mean that I probably won't be able to get my license till next year- in February. 5) I spent a shit load of time and effort on setting appointments for the next two weeks. And I know that I won't be able to plan ahead four weeks to reschedule them, considering the people I have them scheduled with don't plan their lives that far ahead. 6) My boss has already been considering me for a promotion. If I were to go, there is no possible way that'd happen before next March- as opposed to December if I were to stay. 7) I won't be able to make any decent money until I'm fully licensed, which means that since I'm barely making it through each month's bills right now, I'd have to depend on my parents completely starting next month probably until April. 8) I've got three Ivy West students who take their SAT next Saturday. Each of their last lessons were supposed to be this weekend. There is no way I could have fit them all in before I left Fri afternoon.

Eh. I was so pissed at my mom for doing this. I know it's not anyone's fault, but I told her over and over- since APRIL- that I couldn't go to Europe. Not in October, because I planned on having a job by then. Which I now do. And once they picked the tour I told her again- twice- that I didn't want to go because I didn't like the tour they picked. So what does she do? As soon as my dad cancels, she calls me and tries to get me to go with her. And puts me in the position of having to choose between going to Europe and actually being RESPONSIBLE and doing what I should do- and she's trying to GET me to go. What the fuck kind of mother is that??? It makes me feel like she has no respect for my life, especially my job, at all.

Oh, and on top of all this... After today's events, I've only got one out of four appointments I had scheduled left for tomorrow. PLUS, I cried in front of Gene and Barbara at work today while we were talking bout what I was going to do. They are two of only three people I've cried openly to in my adult life.

Today sucked. I spent most of the day stressed out. My hands are still shaking. And I really just want to crawl in bed and bury myself there.
posted by Nikki at 12:20 AM

It feels like I should be up in the mountains with my snowboard... cause it's freaking freezing and yet the sun is out and shining bright. Awww... I miss the snow! And it's a good place to meet some new boys! Muwah ha ha ha ha!!!
posted by Nikki at 10:06 AM

Once again, I can't believe I made it home in piece. One of these days I'm not going to be so lucky...

At this point in time I can barely see the screen... let me go prepare myself for bed before I ponder...

I think I will die from inhaling paint fumes in my sleep tonight... Thanks to my mom who left my bedroom door open right after the painters left today.

Igby Goes Down is a great movie if you have a perverse sense of humor- like I do. You're just left thinking "What the hell kind of fucked up family is this???" after it's over. I love it! (Hmmm... dysfunctional family... I wonder why I love it?)

I want to go to Disneyland for the Halloween Haunted Mansion.

Hmmm... I just found out that I've had bonds worth $200 that were taken out in October 1979 and matured in December 1979. And nobody thought to turn them in for another set of bonds with a longer (and hence, higher yield!) maturity date??? Grrr! On the other hand, I now know the address I lived at from the time I was born until I was two:
127 Old Short Hills Rd.
West Orange, N.J. 07052
Wow...

I've never been on a proper date. You know, the kind where the boy asks the girl out. Then she spends half the day figuring out what to wear. And he picks her up (with or without the flowers/chocolate) and takes her to dinner and some sort of night-time activity like a movie or mini-golf or a walk on the pier (and pays for everything!). And then he drops her off and there's that awkward moment where you try to figure out how to say goodnight. And then the next day you get to tell all your friends what a great time you had the night before. It really bites. I'm sad... I think that if I (unfortunately) qualified for the Make-A-Wish Foundation that'd be my wish. But I guess this is what happens when all of your past bf's were friends first. So we were kinda past that stage before we even started going out... Still, it'd be nice to experience it at least once in my life. I guess I could blame that on my parents, too, since I'm probably still not allowed to date in their eyes. But eh, it's also my fault for having such fucked up relationships in the first place.

When a guy you're interested in (a lot) starts talking marriage during conversations about his current gf you get a yucky feeling inside...

Seeing certain couples together makes me feel lonely. I've been spending too much time on work stuff. I want a boy. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to go dream about him, since that's probably the only place I'll ever find a decent one that's not already taken. Yech.
posted by Nikki at 1:52 AM

Back to campus again...
posted by Nikki at 8:40 AM