Digital camera buying is so frustrating.
posted by Nikki at 11:55 PM

Sleeping Beauty is the kind of movie that makes you go, "Awwww..."

I can't believe I took work home- and I'm actually doing it!

I have so much shit to do this week. Ahhhh!!!
posted by Nikki at 10:50 PM

So my mom came to me today and told me that my aunt is going back to the Philippines on Monday. She asked me if I wanted to send anything with her. My first thought was, "Oh, I should send a card to grandpa." Yeah. :-/

I raided the arts and crafts section of Wal-Mart tonight. (I didn't know they had one either.) Came away with a set of oil paints, a Learn-to-Draw kit, a sun-catcher maker kit, and two cross stitch gift-tag maker kits. Oh and let's not forget all the stuff I bought at the scrapbooking store to make my gift tags with. I finally found my arts and crafts projects to work on. =)

Epiphany of the evening: All Liao family members eat neatly. While sitting at the dinner table tonight, I noticed how everyone on my side of the table (me, my mom, and my aunt) had the cleanest plates you could imagine, while on the other side of the table (my dad, his cousin, and his cousin's wife) had bits and pieces of food all over their plates and the table. Then I thought about how my cousins and my other aunt eat and realized it was true. Hmm... Interesting.

I'm feeling creative, yet lethargic tonight. I'm too lazy to actually do anything I'm inspired to do. Bleh.
posted by Nikki at 10:16 PM

Ikakasal Na
-Jessa Zaragosa

Wala ka bang napapansin
Sa aking mga mata
Di mo ba nakikita
Ang kalungkutang nadarama
Wala ka bang napupuna
Di ba dati ay kay saya
Kapag ika'y kapiling ko
Ngayo'y mawawala ka na

Chorus:
Ikakasal ka na
Iiwan na akong nag-iisa
Dati ang pag-ibig mo ay akin lamang
Ikakasal ka na
Paano na ang puso kong ito
Bakit ang damdamin mo, kay daling nagbago

Kung bakit ba nawala'y ka sa aking mundo
Akala'y nagtampo ka lang
Naghihintay pa rin sa'yo

Wala akong magagawa kung iyon
Ang nagustuhan mo
May mahal ka na palang iba
Pangako mo ay naglaho

Chorus:
Ikakasal ka na
Iiwan na akong nag-iisa
Dati ang pag-ibig mo ay akin lamang
Ikakasal ka na
Paano na ang puso kong ito
Bakit ang damdamin mo, kay daling nagbago
posted by Nikki at 10:00 PM

Okay, apparently Blogger has taken away the option of changing in what order your posts post... Stupid Blogger.

Anyway, I am stupid. So the other night, I just sat there and didn't know what to say. Because I felt SO INCREDIBLY AWKWARD. Was I supposed to laugh? Or not laugh? Or say something witty? Or not say anything at all? Was I supposed to think it was funny? Or was I supposed to take his side? I didn't know what to do! And, of course, I wanted to talk, but that didn't happen either.
posted by Nikki at 1:21 AM

I really like Patsy Cline's Crazy.

This year I'm thankful for my job and my family and my friends and the fact that I seem to keep buying all this crap, but somehow still have more money to spend. Go fig.

It's officially Christmas season now. Sheesh.

We went a little crazy on the after Thanksgiving day sales. Oops. And I still have a couple more gifts to buy. Eh.

Longest line of the morning: Best Buy - approximately 2.5 hours.
Best deal of the day: Cranium - $17.99 at Khol's

Oh! And back in Vegas last weekend... we saw a restaurant called Pho Kim Long. Yeah.
posted by Nikki at 1:07 AM

I can't stop thinking about Jonathan Brandis. And his poor family. He was an only child too...

That damn Christmas Shoes song made me cry on the way home.

Don Juan de Marco is such a good movie. I love Johnny Depp.

I can kind of see the carpet in my room again.

My hair is short again. And a different color. Weee...

I'm exhausted. I'm so tired that even my cousin could tell how out of it I was by an email I sent her. She told me to rest tonight. I've cleaned my room.

I'm so tired...
posted by Nikki at 11:36 PM

More gory details... (excerpt from Yahoo News article)

L.A. Death of 'SeaQuest' Star Brandis Ruled Suicide

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The death two weeks ago of actor Jonathan Brandis (news), who starred as a teenage techno-prodigy on NBC's undersea drama "SeaQuest DSV" in the 1990s, has been ruled a suicide, the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office said on Tuesday.

Brandis, 27, the star of an ABC drama pilot, "111 Gramercy Park," that the network passed on this year, hanged himself by a nylon rope in a hallway of his apartment complex on Nov. 11, David Campbell (news), a spokesman for the coroner said.

He was found unconscious by friends late that night and rushed to a hospital, where he died the following afternoon, Campbell said.

Campbell said no suicide note was found, and investigators were "not aware of any history or issue" that would suggest a reason for suicide. Yet, the medical examiner found no reason to suspect foul play, he added.

posted by Nikki at 12:28 PM

This was taken from a Yahoo News article:

Jonathan Brandis' Death a Suicide
By Lia Haberman

Jonathan Brandis' death has officially been ruled a suicide, the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office confirmed Monday. But why the onetime child star took his own life may remain a mystery.

Brandis, 27, hung himself two weeks ago but didn't leave a note, stymieing friends and fans as to his motive.

The actor was best known for his portrayal of crewmember Lucas Wolenczek on two seasons of Steven Spielberg's underwater sci-fi series, SeaQuest DSV--a role that launched dozens of teen magazine covers and made Brandis a heartthrob with young female fans.

According to police, a friend of Brandis' called 911 from the actor's apartment just before midnight on November 11 to report that Brandis had attempted suicide by hanging. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital but he died the next day.

"Speculations as to the underlying cause of this tragedy are exactly that: speculations. It serves no purpose to leap to conclusions for none of us will really know what led Jonathan to his decision to take his life," said a statement from Paul Peterson, president of A Minor Consideration, an organization that deals with issues affecting child actors.

Brandis got his show-biz break at the tender age of six when he landed a recurring role on One Life to Live and appeared in numerous commercials. He moved to Los Angeles with his family at age nine, and made guest appearances on shows such as L.A. Law, Murder She Wrote and Who's the Boss?

He racked up leading roles in movies such as 1991's The Neverending Story 2: The Next Chapter and Rodney Dangerfield's 1992 comedy Ladybugs but was relegated to secondary roles in more recent projects, including the Farrelly brother's Outside Providence in 1999 and Bruce Willis (news)' WWII action flick Hart's War in 2002.

He was an only child, who is survived by his parents, Greg and Mary Brandis.

I am shocked, numb, and perturbed. It's not like I haven't ever thought about it, but I'd never actually do it. What makes someone cross over that line? And by hanging, too... it's so... premeditated. There has to be something seriously wrong for you to plan your own death. I've had a couple friends who've tried to commit suicide (and thankfully they didn't succeed) but when they did it, it was more spur of the moment. It wasn't like they sat there and thought, "Okay, I can use this and hang it from there." I don't even know what to think. And the fact that it was him, too, who did it makes me even more speechless. It's not what I expected. I'm kind of disappointed and sad. =(
posted by Nikki at 10:13 AM

Melancholy. It's such an appropriate word... to describe my last year and a half.
posted by Nikki at 12:32 AM

Sometimes I just don't know where to go when I'm online. And I still have a story to finish.

I don't know what's wrong with me. A certain bit of news has me off balance and I don't know why. I should be happy, right? But for some reason I'm not, even though I keep telling myself to be. The thing is, though, why am I not happy? Is it because there's still some lingering attraction? I really don't think so. Is it because I'm a little bit jealous? I think that's part of it. But I don't think that's all there is to it. I think I'm disappointed, too, because it wasn't supposed to happen. Not yet. I'd always counted on both of us waiting for a long, long time. But now, it doesn't look like that's going to happen- for one of us, at least. I'm also worried. I know him. At least, I used to. And the person I knew wouldn't do this. So I'm afraid that he's making a mistake. And I know that no matter how much he tries to hide it, he's very sensitive. Which means that if this doesn't work it's going to be the most painful thing he's ever had to go through. And I don't want to see that happen. Just because I'm not attracted doesn't mean I don't care.

I have problems talking to people. I mean, really talking to people- not just making small talk. I can laugh and giggle and make jokes all night long, but when it comes to having a serious conversation I suck. I always rely on the other person to carry the conversation. But then when I start talking I feel like I'm in some cheesy made-for-TV drama. I'm just never comfortable talking about the serious stuff- even though that is what I need to do. There are so many things I need to talk over with so many people. I just can't get myself to do it. And having that conversation in my head with the person doesn't help either. I'm not quite sure what will.
posted by Nikki at 12:09 AM

Weeee! It's fixed!!!
posted by Nikki at 12:49 AM

Hmmm.... so Tripod's publishing problem is supposedly fixed. We'll see...

Okay, we have officially skipped Thanksgiving. Why did KOST start playing Christmas songs 24/7 on the Friday before Thanksgiving??? I believe that's supposed to start on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Are we not thankful this year? Geez.

So Vegas was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. We fit 11 people into the Tower Suite at Treasure Island. Ouch. (It was the same type of suite that Tam-tam, Tiffany, and I got when we went in September.) And THEN, we stopped at the Primm Valley outlet on the way home. BAAAAD idea. But I must say that I now have a very nice outerwear collection. Hahahahaha....
posted by Nikki at 12:49 AM

I leave for vegas in 19 hours and the amount of cash I have and will take with me equals 3 five dollar bills, 2 one dollar bills, 5 quarters, 1 dime, 2 nickels and 2 pennies.
posted by Nikki at 12:06 AM

Alright. So it seems it's not my computer, but my location? Grrr. Stupid Tripod is the one with issues, not me.
posted by Nikki at 11:09 PM

Hmmm... so it seems my computer's been playing tricks on me. It doesn't like my blogger, so it won't let me publish. Clever little bastard...

I also found that cute-boy-next-door is an aspiring actor/internet security consultant. Interesting combination, isn't it?

Weee! I got TWO big boxes of Aloe Lotion Kleenex today. And it was on sale! Isn't it kind of sad when that's what makes your day?

Fucking parents get on my nerves. I'm not really in the mood to go to Vegas (besides the fact that it doesn't look like I have a ride) but I'm willing to go just to get away from them for two days.

I've got three Christmas presents left to buy and then I'm done. Eeee!

And despite all this giddiness, I still haven't felt quite right all week. Is it the PMS? Or is it something else?
posted by Nikki at 10:45 PM

Okay, so there are no confirmed facts and the news is only out on one fan site that I could find. But Jonathan Brandis died on November 12th. His friends found him in his apartment up in the valley. I am so sad. He was one of my favorite actors. Not because he was exceptionally good, although I do think he was okay, but because he was such a good person. (This is from first hand knowledge.) Argh.

On to more happy things. Here's a pic that Hayley took of me and Bubbles today while we were on Pirates. Aren't we cute? =)


Today's trip was me, Bubbles, Hayley, Marie and Colleen. It was passholder appreciation day. We got free popcorn and apple cider. And we took lots of pictures. Plus, we got 20% off. Hee. Bad. Oh, and Bubbles was our gimp. She got Special Assistance. We rode lots of rides because of her. And at first we felt dirty. But then... we got jaded. Oops. I can feel the karma coming at us now...

posted by Nikki at 12:18 AM

The happiest place on earth is now the merriest. Disneyland on a Wednesday is FUN.

I just got sad news. Jonathan Brandis died. =( I don't know why- yet. But I'm sad. I know for a fact that he is... was... a really nice person. Besides the fact that he was cute. Awww... I'm sad!
posted by Nikki at 11:28 PM

I'd never been inspired to write anything before. Well, besides what I write in here, anyway. I did try to write a novel once, but after finishing half of the first chapter I realized it was a bunch of shit so I deleted it. After that, I realized I had nothing to write about. So I stopped. But lately, all these things that come to me when I'm sitting and staring at the wall, or just waiting for sleep to finally hit me, have inspired me. Slightly. Anyway. Maybe the writing bug's hit me along with that sudden burst of creative wannabe-ness.

Is it just me or did we skip Thanksgiving this year? I swear it was just Halloween... but did my eyes not spy Christmas decorations being put up at the same time as the Halloween ones?

Why did Best Buy have a line up its ass this afternoon? And why were all the Blink 182 and Britney CDs almost sold out when I got there? And WHY did Best Buy not even have the new Hugh Jackman Boy From Oz soundtrack? Has the world gone mad?

Maybe it's just me.
posted by Nikki at 9:01 PM

So Britney Spears got a star on the walk of fame. Kind of scary. She's only 21. How can you put her among some of the people on there? As much of a fan as I am, I still wonder why they gave that to her now. I think it could've waited a couple more years.

WHY DID MY COMPUTER NOT RECORD THE TWO SHOWS I MOST WANTED TONIGHT????? I'M SO SAD. =( Damnit.
posted by Nikki at 11:23 PM

Okay, so I was looking through pictures of this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and I really don't see what the big deal is. I'm a girl and even I say they all look the same to me. Same skimpy underwear and same cleavage. So what? It's not like any normal person wears any of the things they're wearing on that stage, so why show them off?

I didn't get anything done this weekend. And it was my last free weekend for the next month. Great.
posted by Nikki at 10:15 PM

I'm not wearing my glasses. I'm half blind.

The test is still in the beta phase, but still...



Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
posted by Nikki at 1:08 AM

"Listen... the thing is, I like you. That's really all there is to it. I'm sorry if last night was awkward. Maybe it took you by surprise. It kinda took me by surprise because I... I never thought I'd feel this stuff again. Or anything like it. I thought that that part of my life was over... You may not know how you feel or maybe you do and have reservations. And if that is the case then whatever those reservations are I respect them. Or maybe you just don't feel the same way. But I know how I feel. So, I had to tell you. And I hope that's all right." -Andy Brown, Everwood

Why is it that people can only be that truthful on TV?

And why do I have such a bad headache again? I swear these are PMS related.

Spending two hours alone in Barnes and Noble on a Saturday night should bother me. But it doesn't. I rather like it.

I also like Starbucks' new peppermint hot chocolate. It's perfect for that throbbing head and sore throat.

Barnes and Noble makes the perfect library, except for the noisy people who run through the store and drop boxes right next to you. And also except for that one lady who reeked of some nasty perfume that I could still smell five minutes after she'd left.
posted by Nikki at 11:04 PM

I hate networking. And I hate file sharing.

And I hate how all my shit was so casually tossed into our garage for "storage" without my permission.

And I hate how I hate being at home.

Between the three my.yahoo.com news headlines, 45 people died today.

I just want to go out tonight and get more stinking drunk than I ever have been before.
posted by Nikki at 2:51 PM

I just swallowed toothpaste. Gross. And now that I think about it... don't I remember reading something on the box of a toothpaste tube that said NOT to swallow it because it's bad for you...?

Weee! Fun swing dancing tonight!!! So much better than the triple step triple step back step, now here's how you do one turn. Tonight we learned around 64 counts of a dance routine. It was so much fun! This is why I like the intermediate class better than the beginning one.

And Clue FX seemed to be more fun than the old one, except I wouldn't know cause I conked out on the couch while everyone played. I'm sleepy. So it's time for bed!
posted by Nikki at 3:05 AM

Six weeks before Christmas and I already know what I'm getting everyone on my shopping list, except for one person. And I've already bought a quarter of it! Woohoo! LOL... I have to say, online shopping for Christmas is such a good idea. Especially when some websites have 50% off their products, free shipping, and no sales tax. How much better can it get?? And because of that, I will only be spending $400 on the 22 people I have on my list. Not too shabby- and yes, they're good presents! Now I only have to worry about how much I spend on myself while shopping for others. Heh.

My God, I just realized, that's a lot of people on my list. I haven't had the money to buy presents for that many people since high school. And that number's not even half the number of people on my parent's list. It's good to still be considered a "young'un" when it comes to Christmas. I know way too many people...
posted by Nikki at 11:42 PM

This article is such a sad commentary on our times- but it's so true! No time for dating? You're not alone.
posted by Nikki at 12:53 PM

Find your month and cross out what doesn't apply to you. Thanks, Bubbles. I stole this off your LJ! =) And I also took a tip from her and bolded the ones that REALLY apply.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking. Generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

It's late again. What's with me lately and not sleeping? I've only gotten about 15 hours of sleep over the last three nights. I guess now it's gonna be 20 hours in four nights...

Ech. I'm still not in the greatest of moods.

Okay, I just have to say, I'm incredibly ANNOYED right now because Blogger just lost another one of my posts. Or rather, the edit to this post. I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. Anyway, now to reconstruct...

I left my blinds open so I could watch the lightning, but I think it's all gone now. How sad. =(

I found out today that my aunt decided to go stay with my OTHER aunt in Glendale because of what happened the other night. She got all freaked out because she's come to the conclusion that my deceased grandfather was the phone who called and so now she's afraid to be alone in our house. It almost makes me want to laugh, but hell, she could be right. Who knows? I always thought this house was haunted anyway. And it could explain why I haven't been able to sleep so well lately...

My two biggest vices: Being self-centered and trying to be so independent all the time.

You know, I've been thinking... After talking about how I find I'm gaining new relationships right now, I realize that I've also lost a couple. But not in the way you'd think. There are a couple people who I would have called my best friend, once upon a time. But gradually, over the years, we semi- lost contact. I mean, we still talk, but only maybe once a month- or less! And yet we still consider ourselves good friends, based on our history. The only thing is, we've talked so infrequently for so long that we don't even know each other anymore. It makes our conversations incredibly lacking, because we both try to make small talk, but our small talk is based on what we knew the other person to be interested in way back when. Neither of us wants to admit that we've failed in the friendship by losing contact. And so we just keep on going. It makes me sad, because there are times when I really want to talk to this person about certain things, but it's something that they don't expect of the me that I am now, so it's just too hard to bring up. And eventually, it just makes the gulf between you two that much bigger. And because I'd considered them my "best friend" for so long, I'd failed to make new "best friends" along the way and now have no one to tell those things to... How sad is that?
posted by Nikki at 11:48 PM

I like this weather. The thunder and lightning goes well with my mood.
posted by Nikki at 6:39 PM

Nick Lachey's new album SoulO is, for the most part, a waste of an incredibly good voice. It's so typical pop, there's hardly anything that makes it stand out. After listening to the previews on mtv.com, there were only four (out of twelve) songs that piqued my interest enough for me to want to hear more. It's so sad, too, because after hearing him sing on Newlyweds I have to admit he's got an awesome voice. It almost gave me goosebumps hearing him sing a capella. Now if only he could come out with an album to match.

Even though today was technically a decent day, I still felt shitty for the whole thing. I was so easily irritated all day and the e-mail argument I was in this morning with a stupid insurance agent did nothing to make me feel better. Neither did the naivete of a certain person concerning what to do with a link I sent her. Not even the thought of talking to the new cute guy next door could make me feel better. And last night, oh, last night was the kicker.

A little after 2am, my parents got a phone call from the operator. The operator asked if we were okay, because, apparently, someone had just dialed 911 from our phone and then hung up. This, of course, started a panic, because WHO dialed? So my mom woke up the whole house and my dad, I think, searched it and then, of course, the police showed up. By this time I'd actually gotten out of bed because it was so noisy outside and we still couldn't figure out how it all happened. Obviously, we were all fine and after a quick look, there was no one in the house. So either a ghost (or someone with a key) came in and dialed the phone, one of us was sleepwalking, or the police need to fix their computers. Either way, it freaked me out enough that I couldn't get back to sleep until well past 3am. And this after only getting five hours of sleep the night before.

Today just sucked, despite how it might have looked on the outside.
posted by Nikki at 10:50 PM

Okay, I need to calm down and stop being such a spaz. Then maybe I can walk over and say hello.
posted by Nikki at 4:28 PM

So I went to see Matrix Revolutions today. It wasn't as philosophical as the second one. It definitely was suspensful. But I have to say it was only okay. The funny thing, though, is that I've never seen so many grown men BAWL in a movie theater before. I mean seriously, I heard sobbing- and yes, it was the MEN. I know, because I looked around. LOL... I won't say why they were, just in case I ruin it for someone, but I'm sure you can guess. The funny thing is, I hardly had a tear in my eye. Geez... this really must be a guy's movie.

On another note, the creativity bug's hit me. I can't stop scrapbooking. LOL... and this weekend I found myself wandering through craft stores looking for other projects to do. I even almost bought a cross stitching kit, the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I still refuse to buy/make/own something that doesn't have a functional purpose. I don't need any more crap lying around in here. Hmmm... so if I can find a way to create, oh, say a scarf or a cabinet or soapdish for my bathroom then maybe I'll do it. LOL.

Recently I've been getting to know some old friends better and running into ones I haven't seen in a while. It's been a weird few weeks. There are certain people I grew up with, but didn't really get to know beyond a pseudo-family status. And lately I've been building what I guess you could call an adult relationship with them. It's almost like getting to know someone you've never met before, except weirder because you've known them for most of your life. And then it gets even crazier when one of them happens to point out exactly what you don't want to say about yourself. I mean, how can one ten minute conversation with a person give her a better idea of what I want than I have? And then the feeling you get when it's actually said out loud is like someone throwing cold water in your face. It's a dose of reality that makes you think you were meant to hear it, finally. And it also makes you thankful to them for saying it.

And then I've run into people I used to be friends with, but with whom I lost touch. And it's made me really nostalgic. You start thinking about why you lost touch with them in the first place, even though I know the reason why. I know the reason was me and how egotistical I can be sometimes. But the weirdest thing is when you meet again and you just know that you could be good friends again, if you only put the time and effort into it.

I like to be helpful and I like to think I'm helping to make a difference in the world, no matter how small, but how do you do that when you can't sort yourself out first?

These last few weeks have really had an impact on me. It's almost like it's the first time I actually felt I belonged here. Almost. It's been nice not having to pack a bag and run for a while. I've even been able to stay home for most of this and last weekend. I know for some people that staying home on a Friday and Saturday night would be unthinkable, but I hardly get to do it. So when I get the chance to just sit and be it makes me very happy. And I guess that's why I've started being able to have real friendships again. Not just the ones where I see or talk to them every few months, but the ones where you actually start to build a bond. Because I've actually been in town for more than two weeks at a time and I haven't had to run from one thing to another and there haven't been overwhelming family obligations to attend. I suppose I should be happy to have such a full life, but still, it's been nice just being able to be for a while. I think this is the most normal and here I've felt in a long time. It's good.
posted by Nikki at 9:47 PM

You know, two feel-good events in two days almost doesn't seem right. First of all, Love Actually was actually really lovely. The only two complaints I had are concerning one cheesy line and the fact that Hugh Grant does not make a convincing Prime Minister. Other than that, I was suitably impressed. Secondly, Bookends by Jane Green turned out to be one of the best books I've read. What started out as slow and somewhat boring, ended up being wonderful. Both had me crying, smiling, and laughing. Makes me wonder what's in store for tomorrow...
posted by Nikki at 3:27 PM

I can't believe I'm bored. It's not even 10pm yet and I can't think of anything I want to do. Maybe I should just sleep early tonight. Now there's a thought...

I always used to complain that I didn't have song. Well, thanks to the Foo Fighters' cover of Prince's song, now I do. =) And I like it, too! Well, except for the part where he starts screaming at the top of his lungs and you can't understand a thing he says... then I just cringe. But the rest is grrreat! Hahahaha!

Darling Nikki
-Foo Fighters

I knew a girl named nikki
I guess u could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how’d u like 2 waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little nikki grind

She took me 2 her castle
And I just couldn’t believe my eyes
She had so many devices
Everything that money could buy
She said sign your name on the dotted line
The lights went out
And nikki started 2 grind

Nikki

The castle started spinning
Or maybe it was my brain
I can’t tell u what she did 2 me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin’ will kick your behind
Oh, she’ll show u no mercy
But she’ll sho’nuff sho’nuff show u how 2 grind

Darlin’ nikki

Woke up the next morning
Nikki wasn’t there
I looked all over and all I found
Was a phone unmber on the stairs
It said thank u 4 a funky time
Call me up whenever u want 2 grind

Oh, nikki, ohhhh

Come back nikki, come back
Your dirty little prince
Wanna grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind

{backwards at the end...}
"hello, how r u? I’m fine. ’cause I know
That the lord is coming soon, coming, coming soon."

I want to go snowboarding.
posted by Nikki at 9:54 PM

Damn emode and their scarily true test results...

Why Are You Still Single?
Nicole, you're single because you don't want to slow down.
Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable? Whether you're secretly sabotaging yourself or not, try a little exercise. Open your mind to those who are around you (and available!) right now. Then let up on your schedule to let that someone in. That is, unless you want to get married to your goals, and not Mr. or Mrs. Right.

I'm sleepy and bored. Can I go home now?
posted by Nikki at 3:18 PM

I was dumb. It seems I can't do simple addition and subtraction. More subtraction than addition, though. And as a result, I can't do anything for a week. Money really does give you power. I need a cheat code for life. C'mon... CTRL+SHIFT+C "rosebud". Damn. Didn't work.

I missed a whole book? How could I have missed a whole book??? I really did stop reading for a long tme. It's no wonder it felt so weird to be reading again.

It's HOT in here. Stupid parents. They never turn on the air conditioner, but at the first sign of winter they turn up the heat. GRRRRR.

A trip to the chiropractor for a free massage has me second guessing again. Just how bad was that body boarding accident? And what were the consequences of not seeing a doctor about it right after it happened? And worse- what were the consequences of ignoring that and all the other injuries I've gotten over the years? I was always told that I was fine whenever I complained of something as a kid. I think I took that a little too far, because now I don't ever complain of anything. Even when I thought I'd broken my tailbone and I was pretty sure I'd broken my toe. And after I'd extremely hurt my back- to the point where I couldn't walk, sit, or move without being in pain for two weeks. And of course, the only time I asked for help, when I sprained my ankle, I was told I was fine and not even given crutches to get around on. What happened then? I ended up with strained muscles in the other leg, from compensating for the ankle I couldn't walk on while having to go all over campus for class. And, of course, there are still those days when my ankle gives out on me and I can't walk for a while. Grrrr. Doctors are stupid. This is why I don't want to be a doctor.
posted by Nikki at 11:21 PM

It's late, but I'm still up.

Swing dancing is fun. But learning basics is boring. Tri-ple step tri-ple step back step tri-ple step tri-ple step back step...

I must be uber-PMSing, cause everything is making me cry lately.

It's cold.

After the fire, comes the rain. After the rain, comes the mudslide. After the mudslide, comes the earthquake. And after the earthquake, it all begins again.
posted by Nikki at 12:10 AM

It figures. I stay home for the weekend and I get sick. This house makes me sick.

So much for HT technology. I just found I can't burn a dvd and open Explorer at the same time. At least, I can't open Explorer in under 45 seconds at the same time. I'm so impatient. And I'm also cranky.

Stupid house. I hate it.
posted by Nikki at 10:12 PM

I haven't had a restful night of sleep since I was in Boston. I've also had permanent bags under my eyes since high school. This is so wrong.

Rain is good for fire, bad for Halloween. And today I started getting a sore throat. I think tomorrow's goal will be chicken soup.

I'm not making much sense, am I? I'm dead tired.
posted by Nikki at 12:48 AM