Mattie Baptiste woke up in the middle of the night feeling intense sadness and loneliness. These were not her own emotions, but they effected her just the same. She got out of her bed and, after putting on her bathrobe and slippers, crossed to the window, curtained in pale yellow drapes. She gentled pulled the curtains back and looked out at the dark, moonless New Orleans night sky.
Mattie was a traiteur, a spiritual healer, as well as a powerful empath. Her powers were mostly directed at the people she served, the last remaining members of the New Orleans Thieves and Assassins Guilds, who had been unified into one Guild only a few months. The numbers of the Guilds had diminished considerably in the past ten years, and now only five assassins and seven thieves remained. Mattie was much older than all of them and she mothered them all their lives. She really was the only mother most of them had known, so her bond with them was a deep one. Mattie thought of them all as she looked at the dark sky and reminded herself that there were actually nine thieves, even though she never felt comfortable placing Minister Tome and Minister Hoard in with the rest of the thieves.
The feelings of sadness and loneliness twinged at Mattie's consciousness again, and she sighed. She'd known for some time that this moment was coming, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. She let the curtains go and stepped back away from the window as they fell into place. Lighting a candle and taking it with her, Mattie left her bedroom and walked down the carpeted hallway of the Guild Safehouse, where the five assassins and six of the thieves lived full time. One of the thieves needed her, and she stopped outside his bedroom door, praying that none of the others could hear his crying. Once the prayer was finished, Mattie reached up with her free hand and knocked gently on the door.
The time had come.
Claude Potier heard the knock and sighed. He hadn't realized how loudly he was projecting hs misery and berated himself silently for it. He knew only too well who was outside his room at that hour of the night, and he also knew why she was there. He'd woken her up and now he was going to have to talk to her, because he knew she wouldn't buy any attempt he made at pretending to be asleep. She knew better.
Wiping the tears off his face, Claude drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He sat up on his bed, leaning against the dark red pillows and pulling the matching comforter around him. Then he turned on the bedside lamp and, absently running a hand through his thick brown hair, he quietly called out a reply to the knock at his door.
"C'min Tante Mattie."
Mattie opened the door and entered Claude's room, blowing out the candle as she shut the door behind her. She walked across the room to where Claude's bed was and sat down on the edge of it, facing him, sympathy in her dark features. Rather than wait for the thief to start the conversation, Mattie did it herself, knowing that she'd be waiting a long time if she let him do it.
"You wan' talk 'bout it, chil'?"
Claude looked down, unable to make eye contact with Mattie, an almost sheepish, ashamed look crossing his chisled face. "No...yes...I don' know..." He replied quietly.
Mattie chuckled softly at his indecision. "Well, which is it?"
"I..." Claude stammered, still refusing to look at her.
Mattie reached up with one hand and placed it under Claude's chin, pulling his head up to look at her with gentle force. He tried to look away, scared of what he might see in her dark brown eyes, but she wouldn't let him. "Claude, look at me." She commanded quietly.
Claude had no choice but to obey. Mattie was just that type of person. None of the Guild members could blatently ignore a direct order from her. He finally looked at her, allowing her to make eye contact with him even though he wished he didn't have to. She saw in his dark green eyes so much fear, pain, sadness and uncertainty, and it nearly broke her heart.
"Dis has been botherin' you for quite some time..." Mattie said. "I've felt it from you, surely you knew dat. Why didn' you come talk to me 'bout it?"
That shameful look crossed Claude's face yet again. "Scared..." He whispered.
"You don' need to be scared of confidin' in me, chil'. I won' judge you...I've never judged anyone in either Guild. It's not my place to do so. I love you all no matter what. I t'ought you knew dat."
Claude nodded. "Oui...I know. But dis is diff'rent. You know dat."
"Yes, it is. But you still needn' be afraid of me." Mattie told him. "I've known 'bout it for a long time, I was jus' waitin' for you to come to me. You never did, an' tonight, your emotions woke me up an' I d'cided it was time to face t'ings head on. Dat's why I'm here."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don' be sorry, Claude. You can' help bein' who you are. You are de way de Good Lord made you an' dat's jus' de way it is. You shouldn' deny yourself."
Claude laughed bitterly. "I shouldn' deny myself, non, but I have to! Ain' got no choice. Tante Mattie for pity's sake, dere's no one in dis whole Guild like me...I've always been one-of-a-kind, an' dis jus' makes it official."
"You'd be surprised, my dear thief..." Mattie thought wryly. It was true that Claude was unique, even in this aspect, but that didn't mean some of the others hadn't thought of the possibilities. The eleven people living in that safehouse, in such close quarters with each other, had each other to rely on, but yet each of them was very much alone in the world. Only a couple of them had ever known the wonder of true love, and the others could only imagine what they thought it might be like. There were sibling-like bonds between various combinations of thieves and assassins, and they knew that love, as well as the love Mattie felt for them as their mother-figure. Anything else was a mystery.
"Tante Mattie?" Claude asked. The healer had been silent for quite a few minutes, and he was starting to wonder what she was thinking about.
"I'm sorry, chil'. I don' s'pose you're willin' to tell dem...?"
Claude's eyes widened. "Non! No way! Dey'd never understand. Not even Theoren, an' he's my best friend..." His voice trailed off as he thought of his friend. Theoren Marceaux was Claude's best friend in the whole world. The two of them had grown up together, along with Henri LeBeau, long-dead son of former Thieves Guild patriarch Jean-Luc LeBeau. "I couldn' tell him...any of dem..." Claude finished lamely, knowing Mattie had caught him.
"Aha!" Mattie thought triumphantly. Aloud, she said, "It's up to you, of course, Claude. You're a grown man, you're capable of makin' your own d'cisions. But b'fore I leave, let me say two t'ings. First, I am here for you if you need to talk. An' second, it might take a load of stress off you if you tol' even some of dem." Claude started to protest, but Mattie silenced him with a look. "It's jus' a suggestion. Somethin' to t'ink 'bout when you can' sleep at night."
A little while later, after Mattie had left him, Claude still sat in his bed, the light still on. He shook his head in amazement. "How does she do dat...?" He thought. "She t'inks I should tell dem...but..."
Sighing, he thought of them all, thieves and assassins alike, and how oblivious they all were to the whole thing. He was scared to tell them. Scared of being rejected. Scared of getting kicked out of the Guild for being different. Scared of losing everything he had.
"I can' risk it." He whispered to the lamp before he reached over and turned it out again. He settled down in bed, tears spilling from his eyes for the second time that night. "Dey can' find out...dey jus' can'..."