Well, old lady, this is it,
two more days of beans and grits.
Then I'm gonna get a job
workin in those dirty pits.

But as long as I have you
and some chewin gum to chew
ain't gonna gripe about my life,
only 'bout ya bein my wife.

Hold on, Hold on.
Don't get angry. Don't get mad.
Least I'm honest and that ain't bad.

Knowed I'd said I'd take ya fur my wife,
but didn't knowed yu'd cause me strife.

My huntin dog he ran away;
Looked at you and wouldn't stay.
I sure do miss dat der dog
but least we still got the hog.

And dat poor rooster in da pen
ain't never gonna be da same again.
I tol' you he can't give ya no eggs,
why'd you have to pull'in his legs?

Hold on. Hold on.
I ain't complainin bout the way we livin
I's just sayin I got me a lemon.

When I got you from your pa,
he said you were a little slow -- that's all.
I should'a known, cause I know him
He gets to lyin when he's drinkin gin.

But I took you the way you look
cause I thought you could cook.
I don't mind you look like a man
nor all the time you spend in the can.

But I thought that you at least
could tell a skunk from the geese.
That stink is still here in dis house.
But least it scared off the mouse.

Now I told you what to do
while I took my morning nap
but you couldn't even do that.

I went to sleep while you were gripin
bout the work you had to do.
If'n I'd know'd what would 'a happened
I'da stayed awake to watch over you

Hold on. Hold on. Don't get mad
Tain't your fault yo as smart as yur dad.

How can ye be such a fool
as to try to milk a bull?
And why the dickins
did you slop the chickens?

And, I don't know why da heck
you went and wrung dat sheep's neck,
An can ya tell me just how
you sheered dat der cow?

Hold on. Hold on. Don't get mad
guess things ain't all that bad
I could a married yur sister Lou
whose even dumber then you!