Folks visited.
Country Livin Ma's Side of the Story
[Welcome to Country]

Now you jest wait a minute here
before you say anything more, dear.
You kin gripe about me bein yur wife
but, it ain't me causin the srife!
Why afore I was even to be'in a teen
you used to say I look'd like a queen.
Why you robbed me from the cradle
and handed me a wooden cookin ladle.
Now, I'd never been in the country before
and ya never told me what those animals
were for
What can ya expect from a city belle
I'd never even had to draw water from
a well.
As fer you goin to work, it's about time
cuz you ain't never earned a dime.
Why, I was just a foolish child of eleven
and you said you'd take me to heaven.
I knows I kept sleepin in Sunday school
that's why I turned out to be such a fool
I did believe those vows we did take
were gonna take me to heaven's gate!
Why, you talk about my pa a lyin'
it's no wonder I's always a cryin.
You ain't nothin like you said you be
and tis you's always a lyin to me.
You jest lays around here all the day
always a gettin' underfoot and in my way!
When I hav to work from morn til night
I can't fix my face and make myself up right.
You expect me to do all those chores
whilst you lays around and snores.
And, then i's got yor momma to cares for
and them animals runnin through the door.
I had to learn to use a pick and shovel
whilst you jest laid around his hovel
do'in nuthin but gripin bout me bein yur wife
and causin you so dern much strife!
If you don't want to sleep in dat dawg house
you'd just best stop bein such a stupid louse.
Come on over here and sit down by me
and I'll tell you of changes that will be!

[on a lim, go'in at it again]
Now we's got problems, I knows  it's true
and most of em are caused by you.
Why we even moved here to the Tripod
to get away from your folks whose odd,
and now your cousin El Roy's a followed us
and all he ever does is a fued and fuss.
Your sister Willamena's a comin to visit us
and a bring'n her hateful o' husband Gus.
And granny's jest a rocking in her chair
and we got a letter from her doc somewhere.
The ways I see this complain'n of yours is be yur best
straighten up, and give yur mouth a rest.
[ back to home page] [She's a gettin old] Granny's Room
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Remember to use extreme caution if you use any of ma's recipes!  They ain't fit for man nor varmit.