This is where I thoughtfully relate to you the reader the objective, purpose, or beginnings of my book. This is a tasking duty admittedly, as even I am uncertain how to describe what I’ve written. On top of the peculiarities of my own creation, there are serious concerns as to the timeliness and tastefulness of the subject.

The subject matter (and what an enormous matter at that) is Rush Limbaugh. I’ve been reluctant to tell people the title of my book, even though I am relatively pleased with the material within. This is because I’m intensely embarrassed to be in any way associated with Rush Limbaugh. I’m embarrassed to be publishing a book that bears his name and that bears his photo. My book was beget of a moment’s inspiration (specifically the times Limbaugh blasted a filmmaker and a musician over which I was taken aback), and was forged not of any particular interest in Limbaugh so much as the issues he discusses.

What’s more, I began writing this back in 1994 when it still seemed somewhat reasonable to give a damn what Rush Limbaugh had to say. But seeing as how it’s taken such a ridiculously long time to publish this Godforsaken thing, the timeliness of it is an inescapable issue as public interest in Limbaugh has long since waned.

What remains as potent today as at Limbaugh’s height of notoriety is the relevance of what he discusses and represents. To watch much of today’s popular entertainment one would think America was awash with open-minded freethinkers. In reality, though, conservatism still reigns supreme amongst the majority. The spectrum of this conservatism is as varied as the people themselves, and how much of it is represented by Limbaugh’s creed certainly is questionable. But that at its peak his radio show claimed 20 million listeners a week suggests his views are in synch with a great many conservatives. (More distressing still is the synchronization of his and politician’s beliefs, what with Limbaugh being named an honorary member of the 104th Congress.)


In confronting the sheer girth of all that makes Limbaugh wrong, I had to accept the fact that there is no way of addressing all of the infinitesimal idiocies which constitute the man’s beliefs. It would serve little purpose to write a book as full of fatuous filler as blubberboy’s own insomnia-curing compositions. (Yes, I know, making fat jokes is pretty mean-spirited——and with a figure like Limbaugh about as easy as shooting fish in a barrel, or, as it were, harpooning a beached whale——but, damn is it fun!) And had I the intention, this easily could have become a thick, queasily thorough chronicle of all the man’s erroneous rantings. But wanting to maintain a more intimate tone, I’ve opted to focus only on those things which most interest me personally.

Aptly enough, the first time I really took notice of Limbaugh was when he criticized something close to home for me——a filmmaker (the cinema was my major). He could insult the politicians and our society all he wanted; what did I care? I hated politics and society was too confusing to give any serious thought. But when he came on the air and said to millions of people that the only reason Spike Lee made Malcolm X was for money, I absolutely couldn’t believe it! Was he serious? Had he even seen the movie?

The spark for his criticism was when Spike Lee said all black children should skip school to see Malcolm X. I’ll admit, it wasn’t the brightest idea——why not arrange free screenings at schools so all the children can watch it, like Spielberg’s done with Schindler’s List? But I wonder, if it had been a movie depicting the utter nobility of our founding fathers (basically a lot of propaganda patriotism) and it was Ron Howard who’d said children should skip school to see his film, would Limbaugh’s reaction have been equally cruel? Would he have accused Ron Howard of making some ‘‘patriotic’’ movie sheerly out of greed, call him a charlatan?

From that point forward it didn’t take me long to realize just how incredibly askew Limbaugh’s opinions on most social and political matters also were. Often he got me so outraged I felt like yelling at the television, or kicking it in, or writing him a real nasty letter. This book seemed like the next best thing.

A few readers may be wondering what makes me qualified to write such a book: Who the hell am I? I’m nobody, I’m just me, Michael Rahman. And my qualifications are not those of formal schooling. I have no Ph.D. in psychology, sociology, or political science. (In fact, before diving into this most of my writing interest was in fiction.) Rather, my qualifications are akin to anyone who has sought satisfaction against the gross grievance of another; to anyone who’s desired comeuppance against a verbal bully who cowardly attacks those who are no longer around to defend themselves. Such was the specific genesis of this work.

For though Limbaugh’s tirade against filmmaker Spike Lee showed him for an artless boob, and his subsequent social/political observations revealed him as a feckless intellectual, it wasn’t until he reached deep down into the muck that I saw just what a callous man he truly is.

How else to describe Limbaugh’s trashing of a popular musician only days after his death, a man whose only fault was being over-revered by the media as a spokesperson for his generation? And though Limbaugh’s ultimate point was that this musician wasn’t representative of popular sentiment, the heart of his argument was to compare the young man to refuse; he even attacked the way the musician dressed, calling him filthy and rotten, as if chubs is in a position to judge anyone else based on their appearance. (For an elaboration of this incident, see Appendix I.)


Alright, now listen up. This is how this thing is gonna go down. Think of this book as one long essay——or a lot of short ones——and this as my (sort of) thesis. Through numerous examples I intend to illustrate why Limbaugh is wrong. What can be concluded from these musings, if indeed anything, is left in each reader’s hands.

This is not to say I’ll spare the unsuspecting reader my opinion (ill-informed and under-researched as it may be). Really this book’s title is, more than anything, meant as a joke. Oh, I believe it, but so what if he’s wrong? What makes this at all significant are the issues he gives so many wacky opinions of his own on.

I’m honestly not sure if it’s possible to prove Limbaugh wrong, nor do I see any inherent value or benefit in doing so. It’s the issues, stupid. That which follows is nothing more——and not-a-thing less——than a conflict of ideas. But then, what more do we have than ideas and beliefs? That is the very stuff civilizations are made out of and built around. This subjective battleground opens a much vaster and spectacular arena than any objective conflict ever could. It opens the intellectual, moral, and philosophical doorway onto a few of the most pressing concerns facing mankind as the millennium looms ever-nearer.

However, before grappling the more pertinent issues, I will attempt to provide a few modest insights into you-know-who’s character, to dissect his humdrum hooey and bring some light on to whatever it is that makes a Rush Limbaugh tick. This isn’t to suggest I’ve the ability to fully discern his or anybody’s true character——all I can speculate on is that which is broadcast on his shows and printed in his publications. And these are hardly the ideal medium through which to ascertain another’s inner workings. But when someone is as outspoken and opinionated as Limbaugh, this certainly makes it easier to get a general impression of these things, however based on dubious media sources they may be.

And now, with no further ado, allow me to present you with why Rush Limbaugh is wrong, and stuff.


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