(1) I am 50 years old (Goddess! 50! updated 8/3/04.) in this millineum, born in 1954
there were NO books, NO internet, and very few peers going the same way.
(2) I was born and raised in Texas, and for those of you who don't know
Texas is the land of Bible-thumping, finger-pointing, going to Hell with the worst possible visciousness known to human imagination,
and if you don't conform religiously, give your soul to God 'cause the people have a God-given right
to make your on Earth time as ugly as is humanly possible.
I keep looking at that little tirade, but, in all honesty, folks, that is what I was raised around.
I didn't see the love then and I don't now.For those of you who doubt this mindset, ask and I can send you a couple of sites.
They are both morbidly fascinating and horrifying at the same time.
AND, yes, I was baptised at the age of 10 or 11
in a little Southern Baptist Church in Harlingen, Texas.
So, with THAT out of the way....
Old Amazon, how on Earth did you find a path to the Goddess???
grins big
Well, as I was babbling right along, I realized I was babbling!!! lolol
SO, for those of you who want to cut to the chase...
here's a little escape button to go to a couple/few "magickal" things I do.
They ain't no real big thing, but it's my world and these things help me troop right along in it.
Again, how did you find a path to the Goddess, Old Amazon?
Actually, it was a fairly easy, natural process given my upbringing.
(My Mother is going to have an absolute hissy-fit over this.)
Please let me digress for a second.
My family, at least my Uncle Richard, my mother, and myself
have all met an itty bitty leprechan type of being.
I will NEVER forget this, especially as the circumstances were so "normal".
Ponca City, Oklahoma and a little 5 year old munchkin
going up the stairs of an apartment in the middle of the day
in bright sunshine to get clothespins for her mother who is hanging up laundry at the back of the building.
Basically concentrating on getting her feet up one step and to the next
and probably daydreaming, too.
Stepped up on the landing before the apartment door, looked up, and had the holy bejabbers scared out of her!!
There stood a little guy, no bigger than herself dressed all in green
with red and other bright colors on.
One look, the munchkin's heart jumps in her throat, and she takes the stairs
as many at a time as her chubby little legs can handle back down the stairs to Mommy and safety.
Chicken child.
I have spoken to my mother often about this being.
It seems she met him at the ripe old age of 5 also, and managed to get a baby buggy for Christmas from him.
Uncle Richard was a full-grown, adult male, truck driver when he met the little guy.
I think the being saved his life somehow.
Me, I didn't take the time to talk...sigh.
End of that particular story.
I happen to be a freak for storms.
I LOVE thunder, lightning, rain and wind.
I can't tell you how often in Texas or in Florida I would stand on a porch
or somewhere outside (brain dead, I know), to dance in the rain.
Have you ever gotten up real early in the morning and listened to the hush of a snowfall?
It's so comforting, so peaceful. You feel protected and loved.
The smell of the Earth before a Spring rain.
See the Nature-child coming to the fore?
Imagine a bright, loving baby girl in the Methodist Home for Children
in Tahlequah, Oklahoma wanting her Mommy...desperately.
Praying a children's prayer, outside in the rain...
thunder and lightning and the beginning of rain.
Turning point.
Mommy and Nature and power and prayer and dreams.
Dancing and longing, with arms up to the sky, praying a child's prayer.
During the baptism time, my mother had a Ouija board in the house and books about Edgar Cayce.
The man who was able to heal long distance.
Anyway, I read these books and played with the Ouija board.
I also met rocks, stones, and crystals at this time.
My mother knew a geologist and his wife who gave me a batch of rocks.
I practically lived at the library plagarizing the Encyclopedia Brittannica for a school report.
I loved those rocks.
The feel of them, their names, their history.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Turning point.
A few years later, and a bright, curious 15 year old avid reader
in Lakeland, Florida.
Robert Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land" and Mark Twain's "Letters from Earth".
Hmmmmm.....turning point.
I was horrified that the man gave his virgin daughters to the mob
and was declared, "a GOOD man".
Not by THIS virgin he wasn't!!
The Bible was becoming a very scarey book, indeed, and his Preachers even scarier.
I also discovered Greek and Roman mythology about this time.
I loved Diana, the Virgin Huntress and Athena with her owl.
Athena, Goddess of wisdom and war.
What a beauty for an unsure, confused girl on the brink of womanhood.
Life at this time wasn't pretty either.
Canon City, Colorado and
J.R.R. TOLKIEN!!!
Ok, now I'm in my element. Turning point.
Fantasy and Science Fiction and Mythology.
There IS beauty in life!!
Jump to Pueblo, Colorado in 1969 and 1970
and a weird little hippy girl trying to find her way.
I had a friend who was trapped in a Christian cult...one of the "harder" ones.
"Woman, keep your mouth shut, get a husband, bear children, etc., etc."
Nope, not for me. Not bloody likely.
Nicheron Shoshu Buddhism made it's merry way to Pueblo, Colorado.
Hmmmm....now THIS was something I could deal with!!
But, then, after a while...and this may sound stupid, but I found out this branch of Buddhists held a majority in the Japanese National Parliament.
Nope, not for this American, a firm believer in the separation of Church and State; however, this DID open my eyes to the idea of a generic "power" that a person could tap in to and make things happen.
Also taught me Karma.
Now Karma and I have a long history. I noticed as an itty bitty little critter
that my actions definitely had repercussions.
There weren't no getting away with nothing in my world.
Karma is a big, gigantic movement in my life.
But it also leaves room for personal choice.
At the tender age of 18, I left Sacred Heart Home for Children
in Pueblo, Colorado and went to California.
I met the STRANGEST people there.
The "mirror world" guy, a coven of Black Magic users.
THAT was definitely NOT what I was looking for.
How on Earth I managed to escape fairly unscathed the situations I've found myself in during my life trevails is beyond my comprehension, but off I naively trooped, wide-eyed, but still naive and gullible as a pup.
Imagine a big, young, trusting golden lab bouncing through life.
Yep, that would be me.
Somewhere in here Athena became my point of contact for the "Power".
Over time I needed more and she became a part of "Gaia".
I come from good farm stock and love to dig in the dirt.
But Earth worship, as much as I love it, fairies and elves and dragons and unicorns
and all the wonderful dreams still weren't quite enough.
There's a Universe out there, too.
So, eventually "The Goddess", her consort (I envision as the "Wild Man" of the forest
leaping with all the wild things of the Earth), and a Power beyond comprehension.
I do not believe in Heaven. I do not believe in Hell.
I really just want a long sleep,
but have a feeling we all need to work out "things".
sigh
And, so, there you have it.
No, I know it isn't very well formulated. Tough.
I want peace and beauty and dreams in my life.
I want to have SOME say in the direction I take,
even if I am one of the very WORST personal decision-makers around.
I am content and it works for me.
So, Bright Blessings!!! (Isn't that phrase just wonderful?)
And yet again, I wish you peace and contentment in life.
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