This section was last updated on 17 Jan 2000
... You think that the most powerful acting performance of all time was Eddie's "compliment" scene in 'Singles'.
... You memorize Pearl Jam quotes and songs, slipping them into conversation whenever possible. Who cares if people stare at you in a confused daze when you say, "I might get hit by a fucking shoe" when asked to go play ball, eh?
... You get yourself an 'Alive' stickman tattoo.
... You get yourself an Eddie Vedder tattoo.
... You try to make Pearl's jam with a bottle of Smuckers, some Tylenol and a handful of NyQuil. (Doesn't work as well as you think it might...)
... You own and constantly update a Pearl Jam web site on Tripod, Geocities, etc., even when you know nobody ever visits it. (I know I do!!)
... You plan on naming your first born Stone.
... You make everyone call you Eddie, even if it isn't your real name.
... You still haven't washed that hand Mike shook when you met him in '93...
... You MUST have EVERY piece of Pearl Jam merchandise available, even the crappy two-song singles like 'Spin The Black Circle' and 'Who You Are'.
... You own the Unyielding boxset.
... You paid more than $65 for your Unyielding boxset.
... You think that the $65 you paid for the Unyielding boxset was a bargain.
... You'd buy the Unyielding boxset again if you had the chance to do it all over again.
... You remember the day you threw away your pellet gun after hearing Vs. for the first time.
... You know all of the words to 'Stupid Mop'.
... You take a look at your wardrobe and realize that 95% of your clothes are corduroy.
... You tell everyone you like Mother Love Bone, even if you don't/have never heard them before.
... You rushed out and bought Three Fish the moment you heard Jeff was a member.
... Everytime someone says "any better" you swear you hear "Eddie Vedder". (Thanks to Carolyn Richter for that one...)
... You take time out of your life to write a list of obsessive Pearl Jam fan indicators and realize that the article has been mostly based on personal experience.
... You take hours out of your busy schedule to make a song request sign for a concert and of all the songs you could've picked, you simply must hear 'Dirty Frank'.
... Instead of enjoying yourself at a concert packed with other bands, you spend all day sitting outside of the Pearl Jam stage hoping to get a glimpse of one of the band members.
... You've ever considered bartering your soul for front-row Pearl Jam seats.
... You've forgotten what other bands you used to like before Pearl Jam came along.
... You bid on a pair of underwear worn by Ed during the 1998 tour on eBay.
... You were serverely disappointed when you found out that the auction for Ed's underwear was a joke.
... You own a pair of Ed's underwear. (You need help.)
... You end every piece of email you send with a Pearl Jam lyric.
... You refuse to wear any clothing unless it came from the Ten Club.
... You bleached your hair after seeing C-Average at the '99 Tibet Freedom Concert.
... You keep a detailed record of Stone and Bill Gate's public appearances in hopes to proving that they are indeed one and the same.
... You can't listen to a song without thinking about how good it would sound if Pearl Jam covered it.
... You received a restraining order from your mailman after asking him about your Ten Club single once too often.
... You've taken a picture of the band and pasted your own picture in using Photoshop so you can tell everyone that you and Jeff are 'like-that'.
... You had to buy a new hard drive because your old 13.4 gig disk was full of concert mp3s.
I had originally post this list on the Five Horizons message board back when it was a cgi monster. I managed to stir up quite a little ruccus, and thus have I added it to the site.
If anyone has any signs to add, by all means, email 'em directly, eh?
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