My grandmother was a woman who came home from work one day and said to her husband "Frank, we're going into business." And then she did it. Every obstacle she encountered, she overcame, until the last obstacle which waits patiently for us all.

She passed down her strength of purpose to her daughter, Mary-Alice, who is my mother. I have occasionally characterized my mother as a force of nature. If you knew her, you'd understand what I mean. She and her two brothers, through force of will, prevented Grandmommy's dignity from ebbing away before her life could end. I will remember all my life the sight of my mother at Grandmommy's side, holding her hand and talking to her as though there was not a thing wrong in the world, when nothing could have been further from the truth.

Grandma didn't go suddenly. She slipped away over the course of weeks, less and less able to maintain full conciousness or to do anything for herself. When my mother called me to tell me I would have to act soon if I wanted to see her before she died, it was the first time I had ever in my life heard her cry.

I have commented before on how small the space between the crowded stones in old cemeteries seems, as though people take up less room after they are dead. The thing which struck me when I arrived at the hospital to see my Grandmother during the last days of her life was how very small she seemed. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. She was never a large woman. My own mother is less than 5'2" tall, which is taller than Grandmommy was. But I was surprised because I have never thought of either of them as little. I suppose maybe my perspective is affected by the fact that I can remember when they were so much bigger than me, but I think it is also colored by their personalities. In my mind, I know that my mother is shorter than me, but in my heart she is a hundred feet tall.

My mother was able to talk about oxygen masks, spoon feeding, catheters, and end of life care as though there was nothing out of the ordinary. In this way, there seemed to be no indignity in any of what had to be done for my Grandmother's comfort and care.

I myself am proud to be able to say that I come from the same clay as the two strongest women I've known. I hope that I will succeed in following their examples.

Mom, you're my hero.

Please sign my Guest Book

Click HERE to vote for this page as a Starting Point Hot Site.

This page has been visited times.