Progress of Another Pilgrim
Fall, 1979
The Singer:
Dearest B.,
So-o-o much going on, not
time to share yet; but, you're MUCH in my mind and on my heart (so tenderly
and lovingly) that I dreamt of you last night and just want to touch thy
life today. Oh, God loves thee so, dear one - so deeply thou
canst not comprehend.
"Though weeping may go on
(my paraphrase) for the night - yet joy cometh in the morning". That
I KNOW. As He leads, I shall call.
Loving thee,
F.
December 20, 1979
The Seeker:
Dear F., who KNOWS whereof
I write,
Deep in the interior, my
Beloved is at war. Only fragmentary news filters through to my consciousness.
I don't know the position of the enemy, or even the areas of the battles,
but I know they take place; I feel the repercussions, even in my
sleep. And I feel the threat of the enemy - the pressure of fatigue
and discouragement, the propaganda lies of doubt, despair, accusation.
And fear - not knowing what is happening, not understanding the way I feel...
My helplessness... And the waiting...
There is a measure of peace
here, for I know my Beloved is the Overcomer, and there is a measure of
His Presence, for I know He never leaves me. But except for the news
He Himself gives and the promises He has made, I have naught to guide my
thoughts. In truth, that is enough, but I yet long for that physical
touch, and to see again that Smile I cling to in my memory. I yearn
for that total peace in my interior which will bring peace and freedom
throughout the land, and complete union with Him. I strain to see
His coming in victory: the King of Glory - my Beloved - coming to
me!
When will this limitation
of time and space which so fragments my being be overcome? When will
I live with Him beyond its reach? The waiting is so hard. It
is not idle waiting, for there are preparations to make - a highway for
the King; a footstool for His beautiful feet; a lamp filled with oil and
ready; a pure place for His rest. But activity does not lessen the
waiting; it heightens the anticipation, and thus intensifies the
waiting.
This Christmas season we
have been talking, He and I, about gifts, and giving, and receiving.
I desire to give nothing that is only external, but true gifts that contain
a part of myself, gifts that in some way, share Him - messengers of Love.
Especially, I desire to receive Him, however He comes, and I pray for perception
to recognize Him, whenever He comes.
I think before He can come
as King of Glory, He must be seen to be the Prince of Peace amidst the
turmoil of the crowd; the King of Love, meek and lowly, wounded in heart,
compassions kindled within Him; the Sun of Righteousness, arising upon
a sleeping world; the Comforter, Who pours out His Life for His friends,
though He, Himself suffers as no other; the Man of Sorrows, despised and
rejected, Who gives forth only Love from His wounds. He must, in
fact, be seen as The Good, the Truth, the Life in each circumstance and
person encountered - and fully desired and loved as such.
God grant me enlargement
of heart to receive.
Loving Him and thee,
B.
