Written and Directed by Michael Nesmith
Original Air Date on ABC: February 17, 1997
Transcript from television broadcast by Estrella Lee
5 END ROMP SEQUENCE
MONKEES are finishing the last chord to SONG.
DAVY
Wow!
That sounded great! I'll tell you
what
though, we should rehearse some of
the
old hits because they're goin' to be
asking
for them for sure!
MICKY
(agreeing)
Yeah,
yeah, yeah, you're right. Okay,
let's
start with Clarksville, huh?
MICKY taps drumsticks four times. Two and half bars of LAST TRAIN TO CLARKSVILLE are "performed" before LAUGH TRACK interrupts.
MICKY
(surprised)
What
was that?!
MIKE
The
Laugh Track.
PETER
Sounds
broken.
DAVY
What,
the Laugh Track?
MICKY
(upset)
Not
again!
MIKE
(confidently)
Yeah,
but I like it when that happens!
(over-dramatically)
The
house is on fire!
SOUND F/X - LAUGH TRACK
MIKE
(continuing)
People
are starving!
SOUND F/X - LAUGH TRACK
MIKE
There
is no fruit!
SOUND F/X - LAUGH TRACK
DAVY starts to think they had enough fun.
DAVY
I
think we better shut it off.
MICKY
Good
idea!
DAVY walks over to PAINTING on left wall. He lifts up the painting to reveal THREE SOUND F/X CONTROLS: LAUGH TRACK, BOO TRACK, and WILD APPLAUSE TRACK. They are all turned on. DAVY shuts off the one labled Laugh Track. Now, booing replaces the laughter.
DAVY
Uh-oh.
DAVY proceeds to shut of BOO TRACK. Now, WILD APPLAUSE takes the place of the booing.
DAVY
This
is really messed up!
MICKY
Just
turn it all off!
DAVY
(disappointed)
What,
even the wild applause?
MICKY
(insistently)
Yes!
We have to rehearse! Everything!
PETER
(also disappointed)
Hey,
man, I was just having fun!
DAVY shuts of WILD APPLAUSE.
CUT TO:
6 EXT.LIZARD SUNNING ITSELF ON A ROCK.
Stock shot of a lizard sunning itself on a rock is inserted into
the film of the show in an unexpected manner.
CUT TO:
7 INT.MONKEES' PAD, BANDSTAND - DAY
MONKEES react to the interruption on the film as if there was an earthquake.
MICKY
(extremely annoyed)
Now
what?!
MIKE
Ah,
lizard sunning itself on a rock.
MICKY
What?
MIKE
Stock
footage. I think the show maybe a
little
short on film and they're having
to
put in this--
CUT TO:
8 EXT.LIZARD SUNNING ITSELF ON A ROCK
Another insertion of the LIZARD interrupts the film.
CUT TO:
9 INT.MONKEES' PAD, BANDSTAND - DAY
MONKEES again react to the interruption as an earthquake.
MIKE
(continuing)
...
this stock shot they're gettin' from
a
film library.
DAVY
Well,
it's really annoying!
MICKY
(pointing to window)
Well,
let's get outta here. Go to the
beach
or something, huh!
A THOUGHT BALLOON pops up by PETER'S head: I THINK THEREFORE I AM THWIN.
PETER
Suits
me, I'm starting to get thought
balloons
PETER waves THOUGHT BALLOON away. DAVY sneekingly turns the WILD APPLAUSE back on. It is contiously heard throughout this scene. PETER and MIKE head towards the door, while DAVY heads towards the mic on the bandstand.
DAVY
(addressing CAMERA a la
SALLY FIELD)
Thank
you! Thank you, thank you! You
like
me, you really like me!
MICKY comes up from the side and starts helping DAVY towards the door.
10 EXT.MONKEES' PAD, BEACH - DAY
We see the PAD sitting on top of a cliff. The camera PANS DOWN and we see MIKE and PETER jogging lightly on the beach. Undercrank the following: they approach the tide with interest, but before their feet touch the water they jog towards the opposite direction. Again, they try to approach the tide, but again they avoid it at the last minute. MIKE and PETER change their minds and head down the beach. Return to normal speed. Camera PANS down and to the left. We see four lawn chairs, two of which are occupied by MICKY and DAVY. MICKY is playing with a CRAB and a LOBSTER; DAVY is pensive about something.
DAVY
(to MICKY)
You
don't think we really need a gimmick,
do
you, after all these years as being
just
us?
MICKY
(as LOBSTER)
Oh,
I guess not!
DAVY
Because,
you know, Mike has turned the
Monkeemobile
into a low rider!
MICKY
(shocked)
He
what?!?
MIKE and PETER jog into shot, sit down on the other lawn chairs and wipe the sand off their feet.
MICKY
(angerily)
You
turned our car into a low rider?!?
MIKE sees that MICKY is upset by the prospect.
MIKE
Well,
I was in traffic the other day, and
this
guy pulled up beside me, and his car
started
hopping up and down, like one of
those
colorful South American birds.
MICKY
(not intriqued)
But
that's silly, the Monkeemobile is our
special
thing!
MIKE
Oh,
I left it Monkees; it's a dimension
machine
now as well!
PETER
(amazed)
Oooh!
MIKE
Like
a time machine, except it goes into
different
dimensions.
MICKY
We
can not go the most prestigious
country
club, in the whole world, in a
hopping
bird!
PETER
We
can if we're in another dimension!
DAVY covers his face in shame, MICKY does not buy the gimmick.
MICKY
(to PETER)
Puh-lease
DAVY
(to MICKY)
Now,
see how I feel!
MIKE
Well,
I can put it back!
MICKY
I
should think so! I mean, you can't
change
our car! It's the Monkeemobile
for
heaven's sake!
A TOUGHT BALLOON of MICKY dressed as museum tour guide comes into view. We PUSH INTO the thought balloon until it fits the whole screen ...
11 INT.MUSEUM
Micky is standing next to an EXHIBIT with SKELETAL REMAINS, and
gives a tour to the audience.
MICKY
(pointing to BONES)
These
are the bones of the Elephant Man!
MICKY moves to the right where there's an EMPTY EXHIBIT.
MICKY
(pointing to nothing)
And
this is the bones of the Invisible Man!
MICKY moves to the right again where there's a TRANSMISSION.
MICKY
(pointing to TRANSMISSION)
And
this is the transmission from the
Monkeemobile
DISSOLVE TO:
12 EXT.BEACH - DAY
MICKY
(proud)
It's
a classic!
(to CRAB)
Right?
(as CRAB)
Right!
(to LOBSTER)
Right?
(as LOBSTER)
Right!
During the above events, MICKY motions the two props as if they're talking to each other. In a beat, the crab PINCHES the lobster, and a fight ensues. The lobster lays limp in MICKY'S hand.
MICKY
(feigns weeping)
Aw,
he's dead, he's dead!
MIKE and PETER start building up a laugh. While DAVY is speaking, all four stand up and start walking down the beach away from the pad.
DAVY
Come
on, guys! Let's go! You know, we
still
got to rehearse, and that gig is
only
a couple of hours from now. You'll,
you'll
fix the car right, Mike?
MIKE
Yes,
yes!
PETER
(aside to MIKE)
Don't
change the dimension machine!
MICKY
(in angst)
I
don't want to go back to the pad!
DAVY
(indicating O.S.)
Hey,
why don't we do it right here?
Camera DOLLIES BACK and we see another bandstand set up on the beach, complete with instruments.
MICKY
Ooh!!
MIKE
This
could draw a crowd!
MICKY
Yeah,
in your dreams!
DAVY
Yeah!
MONKEES take their positions with their instruments on the bandstand. MIKE and DAVY on GUITAR, PETER on BASS, and MICKY on drums.
MICKY
Okay,
guys, strap in. We'll, go 'Circle
Sky',
new version! 1, 2, 3, 4!
MONKEES start performing SONG: "Circle Sky"
13 ROMP SEQUENCE - ROOM FULL OF TVS
Camera shows MANY TVS in one room by going from one to another.
All of which show MONKEES PERFORMING SONG. PERSON IN DOG SUIT also
is seen in television set DANCING.