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Jerry Sounds
female.wav 62KB
Jerry:
What about you, did people make fun of your name?
Woman:
What do you expect when your name rhymes with a part of
the female anatomy?
frendsex.wav 183KB
Elaine:
All right, lets go, I'll give you half an hour.
Jerry:
Are you serious?
Elaine:
Look, Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.
Jerry:
Sex.... to save the friendship...well... if we
have to, we have to.
howifeel.wav 155KB
Guy:
Hi! would you be interested in switching over to TMI long
distance service?
Jerry:
Oh, gee, I can't talk right now, why don't you give me
your home number and I'll call you later.
Guy:
Uh, well I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry:
Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Guy:
No.
Jerry:
Well, now you know how I feel.
insure.wav 56KB
Woman:
Would you like insurance?
Jerry:
Yeah, you better give me the insurance because I am going
to beat the hell out of this car
i'mdown.wav 164KB
Jerry:
If he says he doesn't want it to be a show about nothing
don't go nuts.
George:
It's fine, it doesn't have to be about nothing
Jerry:
He might not want nothing.
George:
Something, Nothing, I could care less.
Jerry:
He might want a show about anything and everything
George:
Anything, everything, something, nothing, who the hell
cares? Put me down, I'm down!
Jerry:
All right.
jerry.wav 231KB
George:
Our show Jerry?
Jerry:
Right.
George:
Jerry? Oh my god, he wants to talk about Jerry?
Jerry:
Yeah.
George:
When?
Jerry:
Today, like right now.
George:
Right now? Jerry?
Jerry:
Jerry!
George:
He wants to talk about Jerry?
Jerry:
He wants to talk about Jerry!
George:
Jerry!
Jerry:
Jerry!
George:
Can I go like this?
Jerry:
Sure!
George:
No sports jacket, I don't need a sports jacket, writers
wear sports jackets.
Jerry
: Forget the sports jacket.
George:
I won't feel like a writer.
Jerry:
You're not a writer!
George:
Right!
kram_monkey.wav 49KB
Jerry:
Kramer, you threw a banana peel at a monkey?
Kramer:
Well, he started it!
latexsal.wav 46KB
Jerry:
I'm going to hire you as my latex salesman?
George:
Right.
Jerry:
I don't think so!
lessnwmn.wav 57KB
Elaine: Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the
eye.
Jerry:
No. There's less.
lugee.wav 28KB
Jerry:
That is one magic lugee.
nothing.wav 37KB
George:
I don't need any ideas, its a show about nothing
notmen.wav 155KB
Jerry:
What are we doing, what in god's name are we doing?
George:
What?
Jerry:
What kind of lives are these? We like children, we're not
men.
George:
No we're not, we're not men.
Jerry:
We're pathetic, you know that?
George:
Yeah, like I don't know that I'm pathetic.
peeparty.wav 175KB
Jerry:
Hey Hey Hey!
George:
What?
Jerry:
Where do you think this relationship is? If you are
thinking of instituting an open-door urination policy,
let me disabuse you of that notion right now, my friend.
George:
You're so uptight.
puffyshirt.wav 117KB
Kramer:
Well you got to wear it now. This pirate trend that she's
come up with Jerry, this, this is going to be the new
look for the nineties, you're going to be the first
pirate.
Jerry:
But I don't want to be a pirate!
stressed.wav 117KB
Jerry:
I'm on no sleep, no sleep. You don't know what it's like
in there, all night long things are creaking and cracking
and that red light is burning my brains!
Elaine:
You look a little stressed.
Jerry:
Oh, I'm stressed.
success.wav 67KB
George:
What kind of a person are you?
Jerry:
I think I'm pretty much like you...only successful.
theshow.wav 65KB
Jerry:
So everybody I know is a character on the show
George:
Right.
Jerry:
And it's about nothing?
George:
Absolutely nothing.