The Great Untitled Journey

Scene 2: Gabrielle awoke the next morning to the sound of Xena's voice. Gabby sat up and noticed that Xena was talking to Argo while loading things into the saddle bags.

Xena- Now that's a good little horsey (strokes her mane) we'll be leaving soon.

Gab-(sits up) Good little horsey!? Are you feeling okay?

Xena- Hey, you be quiet. Horse's need to be talked to once in a while.

Gab- Yeah, well what else do you say to that horse of yours when I'm not around?

(Xena just goes back to petting and grooming her pet. Hermes flies into the scene.)

Hermes-(chipper and upbeat) Goooooooooood morning ladies!

Gab-(flops back down and pulls a blanket over her head. her voice muffled from under the blanket) Not you again!

Hermes- Not a morning person I take it, but it's nice to see you too.

(Xena not even noticing Hermes' arrival, is still over talking baby talk to Argo)

Gab-(voice still muffled) What do you want? (pulls the blanket away from her face and sits up quickly) Oh, oh!! Let me guess, you have a message for us. (sits and expects to be praised for smartness like Xena, the day before)

Hermes-(scoffs and yells to Xena) Hey, a, princess, this girl aint to bright is she?

Xena-(glances up from Argo and barely notices Hermes) Oh, uh, hi Hermes.

Gab-(under her breath) It's all right Gabrielle, you're not stupid. He's the messenger god for Zeus sake, of course you could assume he'd have a message.

Xena-(being overheard) Yaah, zat's my baby...

(Gabby glances over to Xena and Argo and gives a weird look.)

Argo-(thinking of course) Pleeeease, just go talk to that fat guy and quit with the "cutsie horsey" stuff.

Hermes-(referring to Xena) What's wrong with her?

Gab-(finishes consoling herself and looks up at Hermes) When it comes to Argo, I guess she just gets like this. She spends more time with that damn horse than she does with me.

Hermes-(starts giggling again) Yeah, but I bet that horse doesn't get half the things you do.

(Gab sits there trying to figure out what Hermes meant. Xena finishes grooming and comes over to the others.)

Xena- Hello Hermes, what brings you back?

Hermes-(giggles) What? Besides the fact that you are my two new favorite femmes? (Xena lifts an eyebrow) Well, it's like this. Last night I went back to Mount Olympus and got to thinking. And I figured, you two need a traveling companion.

(Gabby's eyes grow wide)

Xena- How in Hades did you figure that?

Hermes- Well, your going to be looking for someone right? Well, you can see more from the air than you can from the ground.

Xena- We appreciate your offer, but I'm afraid we like things the way they are, just me and Gabradee.

(Gabby smiles at Xena)

Hermes-(tears well up in his eyes) Oh please oh please!! (starts crying like a baby)Pleeeaase!! (takes a pause from his tantrum) Plus, there's enough of me to go around. (Giggles, then starts crying again)

Gab- Xena? Can I talk to you for a moment? (glances at the bawling Hermes)_Alone_ (Gabby grabs Xena's arms and drags her behind a tree)

Xena-(looking at the large, hairy baby while talking to Gabby) What do you want?

Gab-You'd better not even think about bringing that guy along.

Xena- Gee Gabrielle, I thought you were the sentimental giver inner.

Gab- That can only go so far.

Xena- Well he's right, he can see from the air. That means we can get this over with quick. Plus, we gotta get him to shut up.

Gab- I don't care if we get this over with quick or not. He's a creep! And "There's enough of me to go around"? What exactly does that mean?

Xena-(opens her mouth to start explaining, then remembers that Gabby's a blonde) Uh, nevermind. Maybe you’ll understand when you’re older. Just remember, _other_ business awaits.

Gab-(quickly) Well of course he can come! (yells to Hermes) Welcome to the team Hermes! (Hermes stops crying and smiles. Xena smiles and walks off. Gabby stands there for a moment thinking) Gosh, maybe I am a giver inner.

disclaimer: Xena's reputation as a lean, mean, fighting machine was badly damaged in this episode. Also, Argo was scarred for life.